He loved kisses

😴😴😴

      “Jisung had already pouted his lips in order to get the desired kiss. It was so close… Just one moment more…” and he awaked all of a heap by falling off the bed sideways to the floor with his arms outstretched. Too bad. He did not remember the face of the person in his dream, even though he had a hunch. But he had to leave his thoughts so far, as a new working day was not long in coming. An endless photo shoot was planned for today.       

***

      Han Jisung was one of the eight members of the popular K-POP group, and every day was scheduled for the second. These were talk-shows, programs, photo shoots, trainings. So many creative things they were supposed to do on those talk-shows. Especially strained were those where they were put in awkward situations. And all those things were in order to amuse and melt the fans’ hearts. All guys definitely loved their fans and tried to do everything possible for them, but sometimes it was really difficult.       Members spent all their time together, so they developed a warm, close relationship in the team. Friends sometimes teased each other; in rare free moments, they played computer games; they always supported each other in difficult situations, although it sometimes looked like hugs or slaps on the booty. Each of them could express his emotions as he preferred. Han, for example, liked kisses. In his opinion, this was the best recipe for happiness and encouragement.       He got stuck in this habit. So that several times he reached for the cheeks and hands of the members, even on TV programs, which repeatedly caused a storm of emotions from both the show hosts and the fans. In places without cameras, nothing stopped him at all. Well, except for the screams of Jeongin, who did not perceive any kind of touches at all. And a special kind of stress for him was the moments when he was being squeezed by the elders. The rest members took everything more as a joke and even made fun of Han, calling him a sleeping beauty or an enchanted princess, who needed a kiss to remove an evil spell.       Jisung almost did not bother Bang Chan with pecks. After all, Chan was a group leader, an adult, and a very responsible person. Han didn't want to distract him unnecessarily or show his childishness. And Changbin, a colleague at rap parts, did not tend to tactile tenderness, even though he was a cutie in behaviour. Seungmin and Hyunjin, through their own inattention, often fell for Han's tricks. Such moments were especially fun to watch. Han managed to get pecks from them at every opportunity or just teased them in this way.       Felix grew up abroad, and physical contact was quite common for him, so he did not deny Han in a rush of tenderness to give himself a peck on the cheek. Sometimes he even ran to him with hugs. In general, they had a well-coordinated tandem that did not need extra words. They seemed to understand each other mentally, so they often exchanged glances, winked at each other and began to jump, clap their hands and interlace their fingers like "besties" do for fun.       Minho reacted differently to Jisung's attempts every time. So much that no one could figure out whether he liked it or not. Once he pushed away, in the next moment reached himself for a kiss, but at the last moment, he could suddenly put an end to everything. It looked like flirting and rejection. Interest and indifference rolled into one. Jisung is used to acting on the situation. However, even with this approach, he had no desire to strain or annoy anyone, so he still wanted to understand whether his friend liked this behaviour. Sometimes he was so immersed in these thoughts that he occasionally dreamed of Minho. Usually, the dream was interrupted exactly at the moment before the kiss, so technically, he had nothing to be shy about, but it was pretty stressful. However, there was no time to think about it, because there was so much work to do.       

🐿️ ⁉️🐈

      Minho was a reserved type of person and only rarely, for reasons known only to him, he got involved in lively conversations or somehow interacted actively with members. He did not deny himself insolence and barbs. And with all of this, he was terribly attractive and sexy. This was confirmed not only by his professional dancing and admiration from fans. The group members themselves, all as one, also thought so. Therefore, from a professional point of view, they respected Minho and aspired to his level of dance skills. As for sexuality, he often caught the guys off guard. Minho spared no one with his unpredictability. A long time ago, on one of the TV programs, he was so devoted to the task of performing a sexy dance that Seungmin and Bang Chan already covered their eyes with their hands, EVEN Felix was embarrassed, the others had a mini-heart attack, and Jisung fell off the chair altogether! It is sinful to mention baby-Jeongin, he was a minor at that time, and perhaps it was a shock to his "childish" psyche.              It seemed that such actions could be explained only by one phrase – that's his character. Only once, when Minho again played with contrasts in his behaviour, everything did not go according to the usual comedy scenario. Jisung saw the "target" and, out of boredom, decided to have fun as usual. But this was not the case with Seungmin or Hyunjin, who were off in a dream world and did not have time to react. Minho seemed to be always on the alert, not letting anyone near him, just like a wildcat. This added excitement to Jisung's venture. He reached for the elder's shoulder as quietly as possible. There were two outcomes for him: either success – a peck on the shoulder, or failure – Minho would push him away, and he had to prepare for a fall on his butt. But Minho had other plans, and he, predicting the attack, grabbed Jisung by the chin. He squeezed plump cheeks with his fingers so that the lips pouted. He frowned and looked into Jisung's widely opened eyes, full of ingenuousness. His gaze was so intent, as if he was looking for something in his soul, but could not find it. So, he just let the younger one go, took a deep breath and left the room. However, from that moment on, in that very soul of Jisung, this very "something" was about to reveal itself.       

***

      He could not give a clear definition of his feelings yet, but he concluded the following for sure: for the time being, he would not accost Minho with pecks or anything else. At first, it seemed to Jisung that he had angered the elder one somehow, that he was staring at him so intently. And secondly, every time he was next to Minho, his heart began to give out an arrhythmia, and his brain scrolled through the frame with his face a few centimetres from his own, so that he just wanted to hide in the oversized hoodie or escape somewhere far-far away.       All these conclusions were made immediately on the next day after Jisung painfully fell out of bed. Although he didn't remember exactly who he was dreaming about, it was too similar to the previous day’s incident. And only during the working day, he was convinced that Minho most likely was in the dream, because, much as he hated to admit, this has happened before. But it also added a lot more awkwardness.       Han tried so much to avoid facing Minho, especially one-on-one, but it did not always work out. Sometimes the work helped him in this – there was so much of it that Han barely had time to sleep because the comeback was already near at hand. And sometimes, on the contrary, it only aggravated the situation, driving him to Minho at rehearsals and photo shoots.       Jisung began to trace Minho much more often for the purpose of the so-called "self-defence" tactic of NON-communication. It is logical – in order to avoid qualitatively, you need to understand exactly where you will not meet, well, or how to turn around in a creative way. During such "measures" it began to seem to him more and more that it was not he who was watching, but he was being watched. They even caught each other doing it several times, especially during dance rehearsals. Jisung was the first to give up at such moments. Minho's gaze was too mesmerizing for him, looking straight into the soul. And in combination with seductive movements during rehearsals, it was absolutely impossible to remain calm.              “Don't you think Jisung and Minho are suspiciously not talking to each other? Maybe they fell out?” Changbin asked Felix in a barely audible whisper.       “Hmm… Not really…” Lix squinted thoughtfully and unexpectedly found them at different corners of the rehearsal hall.       “It's just that you spend a lot of time with Jisung, so you haven't noticed. He had become much more likely to pester everyone with hugs and kisses at the first opportunity! Ugh! He even started to mess with me and Chan more often!”       “Mm... well, maybe!” with a shrug, Felix stood up and walked over to Jisung. They had been cooling off for a long time; it was time to return to training their piece of choreography.              Jisung was even glad that Lix came up to him. During the entire break, he felt as uncomfortable as possible from periodically monitoring his person from the opposite corner. As he followed Felix to the mirror, he even felt a chill.              For Han, things got even worse after that very night when he saw Minho in his dream as clearly as possible.       They participate in a kind of wish-fulfillment game, and Jisung gets the task of hugging Minho. Then, by chance, Minho falls out to kiss Han on the cheek, but he misses and kisses him on the lips. From the light contact of the lips, they deepen the kiss. Minho puts his arms around Jisung’s waist and hugs him tightly, making it impossible to resist, but Han doesn't even think to pull away. On the contrary, he grabs onto hyung's shirt and responds to the kiss. He feels Minho’s soft lips, hot and tantalizing tongue. If it wasn't for a firm hand on his loin, he would have definitely fallen. But the grip becomes even more powerful, pressing the hips closer. His head is spinning with pleasure and the desire to continue.              But... Jisung woke up abruptly. It scared him how real the dream felt. So real that a long-forgotten pack of napkins by the bed suddenly came in handy. That night, he couldn't sleep a wink anymore. And the next day, during training, he constantly looked at the floor, just not to meet Minho's eyes. But it was impossible to avoid communication, and he tried to hide his embarrassment behind the sweatshirt hood.

👀 👀 👀

      Minho from the very debut could not take his eyes off Jisung. He saw in him something that he did not own – open-mindedness, freedom. He also wanted to be able to be the life and soul of the company, to share his secrets with the guys, but he did not succeed. On the other hand, he understood that he should not demand the impossible from himself. He unconsciously reached out to Han, desiring to join what was happening. But his voice coldness, apparent indifference and keen glance pushed people away. No one could even imagine that a very warm, soft-hearted, fluffy cat was hiding behind this ice wall.       He was incredibly happy to feel like a part of the team. He tried to communicate as much as possible. But he preferred to be laconic to reduce the risks of misunderstanding. The guys, for their part, accepted him for what he was. Of course, they were a little afraid of his "sense of humour" or aggressive attitude to dancing, but they never condemned him.       How happy he was when he felt that Han Jisung was not only not afraid of him at all but also came to him on his initiative. Or rather, Minho came to that conclusion based on his behaviour. Han did not hesitate to respond to his taunts and softened the situation, sometimes even making fun of the elder, and then quite sincerely ran to apologize, trying to hug and kiss him on the cheek. At such moments, Minho did not understand at all what to do. He was not used to this, and therefore often pushed Han away, although he sincerely wanted to get at least an air kiss or a finger heart (saranghae).              As a result of such thoughts, he did not stop stealing glances at Jisung; each time he hoped that Jisung would come up running to him and start telling something in his usual very emotional way. Minho loved listening to Jisung, watching his ever-changing facial expression with the full range of emotions. He wanted to touch his chubby cheeks. To leave a kiss on them in return. To kiss. Him.       After a while of thinking in a such way, it became obvious to Minho that that moment Jisung had meant to him more than just a friend and group member. Because of this, he on a gut level wanted to spend more time together and be closer, at least to make eye contact once again or even touch. But Minho couldn't let himself do that, so he just waited… Waited until Jisung of his own free would come to him. But for some reason, he always spent more time with other members, especially with Felix. And that annoyed Minho, especially those moments when Jisung and Felix were hugging too much, too tightly. Minho was close to having kittens because of that, especially because he couldn’t do anything. At one point, Minho came up with the idea to try to initiate communication, maybe even hint at his feelings. But how?       This opportunity came unexpectedly, just when Minho felt Jisung sneaking behind his back. But no one had cancelled the reflexes. So it turned out that he grabbed Jisung by the cheeks. Minho had time to regret a little that he had done it more rudely than he would have liked, but instead, he liked the look of Jisung at that moment too much. Minho had moments of regret that he had done it rougher than he would have liked to, but instead, he enjoyed the look of Jisung too much at that moment. Finally, he was able to touch those cheeks! He decided that next time he would definitely do it much more gently.       Minho really wanted to tell Jisung a lot: how much he likes to talk with him, about the desire to be together more often… To tell him that he likes it when Han pays attention to him and does not turn away from him… that he likes Han… So much to tell… But he couldn’t say even a word. He peered at Jisung and tried to understand whether it was the right time or not ... But Jisung's confused reaction prompted him that it was not worth continuing.       “i have made a mistake again. it seems that han will not come to me for a long time. what a fool i am. again... again...” - these thoughts echoed through Minho's mind while Jisung ran away from the dancing hall.              Minho felt guilty to some extent about that incident, but it was too embarrassing to approach the younger one. He was definitely not ready to show that side of himself. So that he tried to maintain some distance, although over time it almost has become an abyss. Jisung started ignoring him! So, in addition to overthinking, annoyance at this ignorance was added, with the seasoning of Jisung's excessive attention to the others, but not to Minho.       

***

      This “game” lasted just under a month, and Jisung was extremely tired of such psychological pressure; he even ate less, and “weird” dreams, in his opinion, did not allow him to sleep well. It started to affect his productivity at work. But he tried to distract himself and tried to communicate more with the other members, constantly running for iced americano and sweets. They kind of supported him in working condition. Minho, in turn, almost did not show anything. He had been taciturn and restrained before, and during the entire time of realizing his feelings, he managed to get used to such a state of mind. But the longer it went on, the darker and heavier became the surrounding aura.              During the dance class, he became more irritable and even slightly raised his voice at Felix, Changbin, and Jisung a couple of times when they didn’t get some moves. Changbin was calm about this, and it didn't bother him at all. He knew that he periodically confused the movements and worked on them as much as possible. Felix usually sulked and snorted, showing discontent with such an attitude. But he accepted it as if there really were mistakes in dancing and always corrected them. However, he believed that it was not worth talking in raised tone and everything could be solved calmly nice and easily. Jisung often turned everything into a joke and first embraced Minho to calm him and then got up to the “victims” to defuse the situation. But his time, the lack of moral and physical rest caused stress to accumulate up to the brim. Han was at minimum unable to take care of himself, let alone about reconciling the others. His eyes began to burn treacherously. Felix noticed that and managed to run up in time and distract Jisung:              “Hanie, let’s go for some coffee and take a rest, mm?”              Han could only nod, his nose still tingling. And Changbin just shook his head and went to Minho.

☕️☕️☕️

      “Hannie, did something happen between you two?” Felix asked casually, choosing a small dessert for his coffee.       “Nah, nothing,” Jisung tried to laugh it off.       “Of course, you can continue to keep everything in... but it seems to become noticeable to others. I'm tired of Changbin's whimper that you've been squeezing him for the past few days.”       “Ah... well… Really, nothing serious… I just wanted to have fun with you all, to get a little distracted. After all, we have the comeback soon so I thought it would reduce the overall stress level…” he didn't know where to go from the astute gaze of Felix.       “But to me, it seems that the stress level has noticeably raised…” Felix said in a serious tone. “Han, if you don't want to talk, I won't pry. But don’t put off if you can solve the problem now, before it suddenly gets worse. I don’t think you will get the first step to reconciliation from hyung, you know it.”              Han didn't answer, but thought about it. He was pretty sure that Minho certainly didn't want to take it out on him or the guys, because hyung also cares about everyone in the team, albeit in his own way. And personally, Jisung realized that in his attempts to escape from the source of fluster and discomfort, he stopped thinking about his other feelings. And because of the constant scrolling of the same thing in his head, he couldn't concentrate on anything. Something definitely had to be solved with this condition, but he had absolutely no idea what he could do, and he felt too exhausted to continue thinking about anything.       Returning to the dancing hall, Jisung and Felix went to the guys. The paleness seemed to have disappeared from his face, and he was no longer in a crying condition. Felix decided to stay by his side for a while so that Jisung would not dig into his thoughts again. And, as usual, Felix wrapped all four limbs around Jisung from behind, resting his head on his friend's shoulder. But the following action caused a silent scene for everyone present:              Minho stood up abruptly. His eyebrows hung over above his darkened eyes, from which lightning bolts of rage and despair flew out. He appears in front of Han in a few heavy steps, grabs him by the wrist, pulls him out of Felix's arms and drags him to the exit.              Jisung's wrist ached and everything inside him got upside down. He did not understand at all why Minho arranged such a "spectacle", and kept pulling him away from the hall. It became unbearable to endure the pain:              “Hyung! Let go my hand off. It hurts!”              Only after these words, as if waking up from the obsession, Minho stopped and looked at Jisung, hissing in pain and pointing with his eyes at his hand… Minho was in no hurry to unclench his fingers, but he loosened his grip.              “Hyung, why did you bring me here?”       Minho looked at him as if he was saying: can't you guess it yourself?       Jisung felt the emotional tension that accumulated during this period begin to tear him apart from the inside.       “Why are you doing this? What do you want from me? You shake my nerves in my dreams, so at least here, in reality, you can get off me, huh? I mean! Finally, explain to me why you're so mad at me?!!! What have I done wrong to you?” The questions continued to pour out one after another hysterically, louder and louder. Jisung was almost screaming. He could hardly do otherwise. Because of such a volume, somebody would have noticed them for sure and in that case, they would not be able to get away from the gossip that there was a conflict in the team. So Minho forced Jisung against the wall and covered his mouth with his hand.       “Hush! You're too loud. There might be problems.” Looking around slightly, Minho said in a half-whisper a couple of centimetres away from Han's face.        Han froze, and his heart skipped a beat.              “I’m pissed off.” Minho continued. “… At you, at myself?, at Felix.”       The last name Jisung did not expect to hear in such a context and opened his big eyes questioningly.              “Yes, at Felix too. You are constantly together with him, and even so close that you are about to stick together.” Minho spoke in such an emotionless tone that every word blew cold. But in his eyes, Jisung could see the pain and despair. “I also have a lot to say… But is it worth it?...”              At that moment, Jisung covered Minho's hand with his and removed it from his face to allow himself to speak.       “Hyung” he said, barely audible. “Are you jea..”              He didn’t manage to finish, because now Minho’s lips were on his in place of a hand. Jisung just couldn't help kissing back. Rough, forceful kiss. Minho seemed to be reclaiming his territory. The head was spinning, so Han grabbed onto Minho's T-shirt and pulled him tighter to keep from falling. He had seen it so often in his dreams in recent times that he had lost all sense of reality.       That kiss was really self-explanatory. It would seem that he could solve any misunderstanding. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. In any case, they had to sort out their feelings and talk to each other. But definitely not now. Neither of them wanted to discuss anything right now. If only this moment could freeze… But Minho stepped away. Using the last ounce of self-control, he managed before the kiss would have become too explicit. He nestled very close, breathing heavily into Jisung's neck, and whispered in his ear:              “Hannie, please, kiss only me…”              Minho turned around and quickly went away, leaving a ruddy, tousy Jisung on the border between a dream and reality.