𝐅𝐨𝐱 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐌𝐜𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐝'𝐬

      One day they were sitting in the kitchen, a hedgehog, a fox and an echidna. They sit in the kitchen and are bored, have no appetite, don’t want to eat anything and have nothing to do. It was already lunchtime and they hadn't even had breakfast. The hedgehog, resting his head with his cheek on his right palm, placing his right elbow on the table, looked at the plate and periodically spun it around with his left hand. Knuckles was lying at the table with his feet on the table and almost asleep, and Tails was still sitting on his tablet and playing a mobile game on “My Little Pony”, where he built his Ponyville, built new houses, invited new ponies and sent them on missions to earn more experience and bitz gold coins. While Sonic and Knuckles were bored, Tails did not waste time and entertained himself as best he could. When the game accidentally crashed, the fox turned away from the game and looked at the brothers. — Knuckles, Tom and Maddie forbid you to put your feet on the table! Take it away! Sonic, stop playing with the plate! You'll break it. — I can't help but spin. I'm bored and have nothing to eat. — Maybe you can take the hoddog as usual and heat it up? — asks the fox, and the hedgehog shakes his head: — I'm tired of chewing the same thing. I want something new and more varied. Pancakes with sour cream or fried potatoes! — I want something sweet! — says the echidna. — Yeah, me too. — the fox answers and strokes his belly, which itself was grumbling and demanding something new. — Maybe we should go to McDonald's? — Where? — Knuckles didn’t understand. — At McDonald's. — Sonic answers and begins to explain. — A chain of restaurants around the world. Except Russia. Although they were there before too. — What do they sell there? — asked the echidna. — Yes, anything! Hamburgers, cola, french fries, chicken legs with sticks, cold cocktails, ice cream and other food. — the hedgehog explained and thought, scratching his chin. — In principle, why don’t we go there? Okay, let's go! Having decided on this, the brothers got up from their chairs, left their common home and went into the city.

***

      Finding a McDonald's was difficult because it was the only one in Green Hills and was too close to the police station where Tom and Wade worked. The trio stood in front of the road, which they only had to cross to get to the diner. — Here he is! — says Sonic. Knuckles notices the procurement logo in the form of a large, yellow and wavy letter “M” on the roof, scratches his chin and asks: — The letter “M” means Mine, Me or Man? Sonic laughed: — Well, you blurted out! This letter is the McDonald's logo. — he answers him. — Why is it named so strangely? They could have called it simply “My Little Restaurant”, “My Delicious Food”, “Mario’s Snack Bar”, “Master Snack Bar”, “Mrusty Mrabs”, “Mystical” or “My Yours”. — Knuckles suggested his own options for names. — What can we take from these people? They are all strange and their names and names are strange. — Sonic explained. — I think I’ve already seen this logo in a couple of films. — Tails says, looking at the letter "M". — These are hidden advertisements for that restaurant and company in these films. — Sonic explained. — For some reason, many people get angry and criticize such advertisements and even demand that they be removed. Although they didn't annoy me at all. Look, even the same time square in New York. There are a lot of advertising posters of different companies on the walls. People live there and walk peacefully, and they don’t complain at all about the advertisements on that street. Especially when they are shown together with the street itself in films. There, in the case of that street, for some reason they stupidly close their eyes. But if it’s customary to criticize small moments with advertisements on some other streets or cities, then for some reason they find fault with every little thing. Knuckles yawned out of boredom. — While you’re chatting here, I’ve already worked up an appetite and I’m already hungry. Let's go already! Echidna just took a step forward, but a truck passed in front of his nose, and Sonic grabbed him by the arm and managed to pull him back. — Are you a fool or what? Don't you see that the traffic light is red? — asks the hedgehog. — Why is this? — the echidna did not understand and looked at the traffic lights for drivers. — Get out! Green is on fire! — No, these signals are for cars and drivers. — the hedgehog answers. — And the signals for us, who are walking, are those on the other side. They still have a red light on them. — This is somehow not right! Why do they stand on red and go to green? — Knuckles asks. — Why not the other way around? Or why they didn’t choose other signals. Like go for blue, but stop for black! While he was talking, the light for pedestrians had already turned green and Sonic and Tails went first. Knuckles had to run after them when he noticed that they had left without him. — Do you want the traffic light rules to work in reverse? Then go to a parallel universe! — Tails suggested. — Tails, stop watching movies and TV shows about the multiverse! They have long been boring and not relevant, and the audience is already tired of them. — the hedgehog answers the fox. — Yes Yes. You also say that my name is Miles Morales, and your name is Miguel O’Hara! — Tails answers jokingly and Sonic, taking the hint, laughed with him. Only Knuckles didn’t understand what was so funny and just walked along, thinking: — “Why do even fans often make me out to be a stupid idiot in their works compared to others? I'm not like that at all! I know that I am actually smart." — “Knuckles, stop breaking the fourth wall!” — he accidentally read Sonic’s thoughts in some way. — Shut up! — Knuckles whispered, and Sonic and Tails looked at each other questioningly: — What is he talking about? I didn't say anything just now! Tails, in response to Knuckles's expense, only twirled his finger at his temple. While they were chatting, by that time they had entered the diner, stood near a small line, which quickly cleared up and finally it was their turn. — Welcome to... — the concierge noticed that the next clients were three small people who looked like animals. Either these are children in costumes, or such animal mutants, or he has worked too hard and is already going crazy. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles looked at the worker smiling, trying not to attract attention to themselves. — Uh... What will you order... Kids? — he asks them with a stupid smile, trying not to look like a fool. — Kids? — Knuckles widened his eyes and turned around. But there was no one behind them in line yet. Echidna turns to the fox and asks: — Where did he see the children behind us? Or is he talking about us? Tails covers Knuckles' mouth with his hand and also smiling stupidly says: — Please, we need six cheeseburgers, three Big Macs, one large pizza, three cold orange-flavored cocktails, two chicken legs, one box of Nagids, two colas, one Fanta and one large potato. — Is this enough? — Sonic asks, also smiling stupidly and giving his dad's credit card. The attendant near the free cash register looked at them questioningly and very slowly extended his hand, a little afraid to take a bank card. Through force, he still forced himself to take it, and Sonic immediately let go of the card when he took it. Swiping the card through the machine for withdrawing cash from a bank account, he handed it to the trio. Sonic raised his hand and thought out loud: — So! What is the code for Tom’s bank card?.. And I remembered! One, nine, nine, one. — he answers to himself and enters the card PIN code. The bill is removed and the card is given back to the hedgehog. — Your order will be ready in ten minutes. — the trio nodded silently and went to look for a free table. — Well, the fashion has gone out among young people today!.. I guess I’ve been working here for too long... That’s it, I’m quitting!

***

      The named orders were taken to Sonic, Tails and Knuckles at a table near the window. The order contained exactly everything that Tails asked for: Six cheeseburgers, three Big Macs, one large pizza, three cold orange shakes, two chicken legs, one box of nagids, two colas, one Fanta and one large potato. Sonic ran his tongue, his mouth started drooling, Knuckles simply stroked his stomach in anticipation of a hearty and fatty lunch, and Tails just took off his gloves, took one wet napkin, wiped his hands with it, took one big Big Mac, bit it off and kept his mouth closed , began to enjoy food normally. Knuckles and Sonic, on the contrary, slurped loudly, mooed and behaved unculturedly. Knuckles even opened his mouth and openly showed how he was skipping his burger. Sonic even spoke with his mouth full: — Not a burger, but just a fairy tale! I haven't eaten such fatty food for a long time. — And I’ve never eaten anything like that in my life. — says the echidna, also with his mouth full. Tails had by now swallowed his second well-thought-out bite and before taking a third bite he said: — Don't talk with your mouth full! Choke! — Said the one who eats himself during meals. — Knuckles jokingly replies and laughs, then he coughs, almost choking. By that time, Tails had managed to slowly sell the third piece, swallowed it and said: — I warned you. So you laughed almost to death. — then he takes a cola and drinks it lightly through a straw. Then he finishes: — You behave like children, by God! Watch me do it! But Knuckles and Sonic didn't care. They began to overeat, get drunk and slurp in their own way, as if they were uneducated, while Tails ate and drank slowly, was in no hurry to get anywhere, and as if a well-mannered aristocrat was having lunch in a shopping store. Except that sometimes he kept his elbows not above the table, but put them on the table, because sometimes you get tired of holding them above the table for the sake of culture. But in general, this is sometimes forgiven for some people. Sometimes you don’t have to be perfect in everything at once! So Sonic and Knuckles ate their Big Macs and began to finish off four cheeseburgers, almost half of the pizza each, leaving the fox the last two pieces, quickly washed it down with cola and Fanta, and even drank cocktails to argue with each other about who was faster. It was only because of this that their brains froze and it hurt so much that they grabbed their heads screaming. Tails slowly and every small sip drank his cocktail when his cola ran out. When the hedgehog and the echidna's headaches passed, they ate half of the nagids, leaving four sticks for Tails, some potatoes, also leaving him half, ate two chicken legs at once, leaving none for the two-tailed friend, and then they both burped. They lie at the tables and hold their full bellies, smiling, while Tails himself has already finished two more hamburgers and began to finish his potatoes and nagids. — All! I think that's enough for today! — Sonic says, smacking his lips. — We had a nice lunch! Nice! And then the trio of heroes accidentally hear two people behind the cash register arguing about something. — I'm fed up with this work. I myself am getting fat because of this fast food, and these three children came in disguise. However, I don’t know myself? Are they overdressed or am I already hallucinating from obesity? I'm quitting. — declares the worker and throws away his apron and cap. — But, Arthur. You're a five-time employee of the year. You can't leave us. — the director tried to persuade him. — As much as I can. I have long wanted to go into sports and become a coach, and I also want to lose weight. I have the right, after all. — No, stop! You are good at attracting clients. Without you and your charisma, our diner in this city will not be popular and will not make more money. — the boss still tried to convince the worker, but he ignored him, changed his clothes, left the purchasing room and slammed the doors. The boss despaired and almost disgraced himself in front of everyone, crying. — What should I do now? Where can I find a similar good cashier who will be good at attracting new customers? Our McDonald's in this city will be closed immediately if there are few customers. While everyone looked at the diner manager like he was crazy, Tails felt sorry for the man. Having finished his lunch and wiping his mouth with one napkin, the fox got up from the table and approached the director. — Sorry! Can I try to replace this person? — he asks him. — You? — the director is surprised. — Aren't you too small? — asked one of the clients, deciding that it was a child and everyone laughed. The director decided that this kid could do a good job of attracting new clients and shouts at everyone: — BE SILENT!!! ONE MORE INSULT OR NOT FUNNY JOKE AND I WILL KICK EVERY ONE OF YOU OUT OF HERE!!! — after this scream, all the customers got scared and began to finish their orders again, as if they had not seen or heard anything. The boss turns to the fox. — What is your name, little one? — You offend me! — says the fox and shows him his passport with a photograph and date of birth. — I’m quite older than I seem and a pretty smart, self-taught prodigy. I certainly haven't worked as a fast food cashier before, but I'll try to help you. At least temporarily replace the person who quit until you find another similar worker. — Fine. — the director agrees and hands the fox a hat and apron. — Here! Get dressed and go to the checkout! — after Tails got dressed, he went to the cash register and took the man’s place. — There is nothing complicated here! Just receive clients, serve them, get money, give the records of orders and customers to the cooks, and then they will do everything themselves together with the waiters. And so on you do it in a circle. And if there are no clients for you, but large queues have accumulated for others, then to invite them to your place, just shout: FREE CASH!!! And then other customers who were waiting in other lines came running in response to the scream. And then Tails generally began to do everything as the director told him. He simply called clients, served them and received money, and then did the same in a circle. And so, again, and again, and again. By the way, the fox even liked this little girl. At this time, the hedgehog and the echidna were still lying at their table near the window and almost moaning from how much they had eaten and how their stomachs hurt. — Oh-oh-oh! My stomach! Knuckles whined, as did Sonic. — Ugh! I probably shouldn't have eaten so much! I should have shared more with Tails! — But then his stomach would hurt later, like ours now. — Yes, yes, you're right. By the way, where is he? — Yes, over there! He works at the cash register. — What? — the hedgehog widened his eyes and stood up. He was shocked to see their brother working as a cashier and taking orders from new customers himself. Suddenly, a bunch more people arrived at the diner, but they stood in a crowd in line only for Tails. It was he who attracted them all and they were waiting for him to serve them. The queue was so large and long that, despite the formation in a wave or a zigzag, it went out from behind the doors into the street and right across the road, causing some cars to stop, forming a traffic jam and could not go further. — THE HECK ARE YOU ALL STANDING ON THE ROAD??? GET AWAY BEFORE WE MOVE YOU!!! OUR PIZZA IS GETTING COLD!!! — We apologize for keeping you waiting so long! We have too many people. Even the police officers from the station next to the diner and the prisoners joined the crowd in line and waited. The temporarily released prisoners did not even try to escape or go quietly, and honestly stood in line and waited. They already really wanted to eat normal food instead of the crap they are given in prison as porridge, millet or gruel. The police promised them to pay for their orders themselves and at their own expense. — Now we’ll have a snack, go back to the cells and go to bed. — said one prisoner to another. By the way, Tails didn't complain. He was pleased that everyone often came up and ordered from him. He even thought: — “Maybe I should always work here? At least until the end of my life, and the school as a whole will manage without me! I’m already quite smart and know everything, which means I’m considered educated. Although not officially among people.” Sonic and Knuckles were in no hurry to leave the diner, they sat at the table and just watched as their two-tailed brother served everyone. Among the clients, Jojo herself also came, whom her mother let go alone for an hour. She asked Tails for just one medium potato, and the fox, in addition to her, gave her a free toy figurine with him as a gift, which he himself made in a couple of minutes, using his tails behind his back, like hands. Then Crazy Carl himself appeared among the clients and asked for five burgers and cola for the road, giving away a hundred dollar bill without change at his request. He really liked this furry kid for the role of such a worker in this cafe. However, then someone Tails was not expecting appeared in the queue. Agent Stone himself appeared among the clients, pretending to be an ordinary person. However, the fox immediately recognized him by his face and look. String asked for just one large burger, and Tails not only immediately personally gave him the order, but also decided to slightly discreetly teach him a lesson. He quietly placed some kind of chocolate candy between the cabbage leaf and the cutlet. He even chuckled unnoticed. Stone sat down next to Sonic and Knuckles, looking at them slyly, quickly ate his burger and suddenly he felt that he needed more. Unable to bear it, he quickly ran through the crowd of the queue and mistakenly ran into the toilet for the orderlies instead of the client toilet. At this time, Tails walked away from the cash register for ten seconds, I promise to return quickly and, giggling, installed a large lock on the door, which held the doors tightly and did not open them. When Stone was about to leave, the castle blocked the passage and did not let him in. The agent started knocking his feet and shouting: — HEY!!! WHAT KIND OF JOKES??? WHO'S HOLDING THE DOOR THERE??? RELEASE ME IMMEDIATELY!!!

***

      The working day was over and absolutely all clients were satisfied. They were about to close the diner, but before that they even decided to give Tails a salary, but the fox did not take the money, but offered to take some free snack home with him as payment. The director agreed and, instead of money, gave the trio bags for the trip with the same thing that they had ordered before. Only instead of two chicken legs they gave me three. Sonic and Knuckles just sighed heavily at the same time, because for today they had enough of this for lunch and they couldn’t fit in any more. For that, Tails was happy and went home contentedly, while Sonic and Knuckles, tired and with full bellies, slowly hobbled behind. Of course, they didn’t forget about Stone and released him, removing the lock before leaving. But by that time the agent had fallen asleep on the floor, because at that moment he was tired of knocking and shouting, desperate. So they returned home, and Maddie was waiting for them at home and gave them pancakes for dinner. Tails really wanted pancakes and was happy about such an unexpected dinner. Only Sonic and Knuckles whined and lay on the couch. Ozzy lay down next to them and tried to comfort them. Mom was already calling to the kitchen: — Sonic, Knuckles, where are you? Go drink tea with pancakes, otherwise everything will get cold. There was no point in arguing. They still had a dirty dinner, but they decided to eat only a little so as not to overeat again and so that their stomachs would not hurt again. Tails, with great pleasure, was ready to eat more pancakes, because while he was working at McDonald's, he managed to get hungry. This time the three of them ate pancakes and drank tea very slowly. Even the dog was not left without dinner and happily flew away his pancake, which was a little burnt and which Maddie herself gave to Ozzie from her hand into his mouth. Then she patted him on the head. And she decided to put Tails’ “salary” in the refrigerator for tomorrow. Don't your honestly earned goods go to waste? However, she did not yet know that it was food as payment and that Tails got a job at McDonald's. — Listen, where did you get the money to buy all this? - asked the mother. — Well... — the fox wanted to explain everything, when suddenly Tom himself returned home. He opened the doors loudly, as if he had kicked him and shouted: — SO-O-ONI-I-IK!!! YOU SPENT NINE HUNDRED SEVENTY THREE DOLLARS ON MY BANK CARD ON MCDONALS FAST FOOD??? Everyone in the house immediately widened their eyes, and Sonic just said: — Oops! Then he ran away like a bullet somewhere, and Knuckles hid under the table, thinking that they wouldn’t find him here and whispered: — You didn't see me! — I’d better go and walk Ozzy! — Maddie answers fearfully, took Ozzy with her and left the kitchen, whistling something under her breath. There was only one two-tailed fox left in place. There was nothing left for him but to put his right elbow on the table, put his head on his palm and grumbled out loud: — Mra!