I Choose Dare

The air in the Slytherin common room was stuffy and hanging like a heavy haze, unusual for the space, which was often so chilly and refreshing. The reason for it was the crowd of older students from every house gathered together, having their usual Saturday party. There was almost enough space for all of them. It had become a weekly event since the start of the year. The eighth-year students who chose to come back to finish their studies were trying to drown the memories of the war in booze and dangerous drunken games. There was a silent protest among them, as they no longer kept common rooms passwords a close secret. Some girls even decided to change dormitories, but Draco thought that was too much for him. They were students, technically, but they were building their new world now. No one could make them follow the school rules or even attend classes. Not after everything they had been through. However, nobody skipped classes or misbehaved, as they all matured several years over the summer. They were all adults now, making up their last year of schedule so they could graduate and move on. Surprisingly, it was Granger who started the parties. She just came into the Slytherin room one evening, looking calm and indifferent. The place went silent and everyone just stared at her. “Is there something wrong? You’re not supposed to be here,” a fifth-year prefect boy said. The doubt in his voice echoed across the expansive room. “Shut up,” Draco was surprised to hear himself saying. He watched Granger under furled eyebrows as she walked across the room. “Harry and Ron always said this place was so cold and unfriendly, I wanted to see it for myself,” she replied simply, looking into the dark lake waters through the windows that lined the back wall of the common room. There was something wrong with her voice, it sounded cracked. Draco exchanged glances with Pansy who was writing something in her diary next to him on the sofa, her legs tucked up. “How would they know?” asked Theo. He was bored, enchanting paper planes to fly around the room. “They snuck in here second year,” she answered and Draco caught her quickly glancing at him, but as soon as they locked eyes, she turned her gaze back to the windows. “So, is it?” he asked in a hostile voice. “Cold and unfriendly?” “It’s different from ours, at least. You should come and visit the Gryffindor common room to see for yourselves.” “Yeah, right,” Pansy chuckled. “Are you afraid you might like it?” Granger asked. Her voice was quiet and calm, but there was a fierce challenge in it. “Why would we like it?” Pansy snapped aggressively. “Perhaps it’s good to see things from a new perspective,” Granger answered as if her mind was far away. “I like it here.” She then walked to one of the big windows, got comfortable on a padded seat, opened a book, and spent the rest of the evening reading silently. Granger came to read by the lake window a few more evenings and every time Pansy gave her annoyed glances, but no one dared say a word against it. After the war, the whole idea of continuing hostility between the houses was absurd. Theo was the first one to give in. One night he approached Granger, sitting across from her on a loveseat. She looked up at him from her book, but remained silent. “Don’t you feel uncomfortable being here?” he asked, “Not amongst your friends?” “I feel uncomfortable being anywhere at school, so it’s not a big difference.” Hermione shrugged and looked back down at her book. “How so?” “I have sad memories wherever I go.…” she said quietly. Draco realized he was straining his ears to listen to their conversation. “So, you found a place that doesn’t remind you of your dead friends, then,” Theo said nonchalantly, but Granger’s face paled and her lip started to tremble. There was a pause before she answered. “Don’t you feel like you need such a place?” “We Slytherins don’t have the luxury of simply entering other common rooms,” Theo blurred. He didn’t mean it in a bad way, he tended to say uncomfortable things out loud. “We won’t be as welcome as you are here.” Theo smirked at Hermione, who responded with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. “So, help me change that,” she said. “We would need a lot of Butterbeer,” Theo said with a sly look on his face, thinking there was no way the Gryffindor Princess would go for any sort of rule-breaking. To his surprise, she replied, “Count me in”. Theo’s easy-goingness and Pansy’s pedantry were an unlikely combination to put the plan together. Draco didn’t take part but observed how over the course of just a few weeks that their common room started to feel alive. He noticed Pansy was blooming, no longer feeling like an outcast. Her organization skills were appreciated, and to everyone’s surprise she started spending time with Luna and Neville. As they welcomed her into their respective common rooms, she in turn opened the doors to the Slytherin dungeons. Just as the Slytherins started spending more time in other spaces, students found their way into the cavernous space more often as it was the perfect room for games. They played this weird muggle game called Twister and Salazar Slytherin was cursing so loudly they had to put a cloth over his portrait. While his insults were unacceptable, Draco agreed that the game looked stupid. He figured it would only be fun after several shots of Firewhisky. Granger was mostly a silent ghost, as if she gave the last of her energy to bring everyone together. She drank with them during their weekly parties and participated in games, but it felt like there was only a shell left of her. “…Well, they just left her to deal with this shit all alone,” Pansy scoffed as she made a shopping list for their next trip to Hogsmeade. It was late and they were the last ones in the common room. “She has Luna and Neville and the Weasley girl, aren’t they her friends?” Theo wondered. Draco was only half-listening, but something made him look up from his book. It was a stupid muggle book Granger left a few days ago. She hadn’t come back to her favorite place by the window, so Draco decided to take a glimpse at what she was reading. It was a story about a rich, noble guy who was wrongfully imprisoned. There was no mention of magic at all, and Draco was not at all curious about how this guy would manage to escape. After all, it was a stupid muggle book. He flipped the page’s corner so as not to lose his spot. “They are definitely better friends than her supposed-to-be-boyfriend,” Pansy scrunched her nose. “More reliable, at least. Did you know he just left them both when they were on the run?” “Am I wrong, or are you starting to actually sympathize with her?” Theo smiled widely. “I don’t have to sympathize with her to appreciate everything she's done.” “Draco, what do you think?” Theo turned his head to him. “About what?” Draco pretended he wasn’t listening. “About Granger.” “What about her?” Theo tilted his head a bit, “What do you think of her?” Draco took a moment to answer. “I think she’s stronger and braver than Potter and Weasley. That’s why she came back and they didn’t. She always was…. unbreakable. They wouldn’t win without her.” Draco slightly shook his head to stop the flashback of an agonizing scream. He suppressed one of the darkest memories from the Malfoy Manor he was a witness to. The one which included Granger. Theo and Pansy exchanged glances. He never shared anything from his dark past with them, simply couldn’t bear saying it out loud. And so, they never asked. “Are we strong and brave, then? For coming back here?” Theo smirked. “We didn’t have a choice,” Draco reminded him. “No, we did not. But you’re wrong,” he paused. “She looks broken. We all kind of are.” “Oh, you look fine,” Draco said sarcastically. Pansy laughed. “You are right, though. She looks like a Dementor kissed her.” “I wonder what it would feel like to kiss her,” Theo sighed dreamily. “You're insufferable,” Pansy rolled her eyes. “Write down Firewhisky on that shopping list of yours,” Theo replied instead. “I’m in the mood for some serious fun this weekend.” On Saturday Draco found himself helping Theo, Seamus and Neville buy Butterbeer and Firewhisky at Hogsmeade for the party in the Slytherin common room. Pansy stayed behind to arrange some girl stuff with Luna and Ginny. All the older students were invited. For some reason, Draco felt like they were preparing a birthday party for someone. “Where is Granger?” he asked first thing after they returned to the dungeons. The girls were arranging trays with finger food around the room. “Why?” Ginny eyed him suspiciously. “When is her birthday?” he asked. Everyone exchanged confused glances and Draco sighed irritably. “It’s not today, is it?” “No, it was in September. The nineteenth,” Neville replied, stacking the boxes with alcohol by the table in the center of the room. “She didn’t want to celebrate and we couldn’t find her anywhere. Had to congratulate her the next day.” “Wait… wasn’t that…” Draco heard Theo say and accidentally punched him with his elbow. Theo grunted and went silent. It was the day she first appeared in their common room. “Wait, are you wearing Slytherin robes?” Theo quickly changed the subject, looking at Ginny who shrugged her shoulders as if it was completely normal. “Green always suited me.” “Is that… allowed?” he muttered. “You can try my tie on. I think blue will go well with the color of your eyebrows,” said Luna with her dreamy voice. Draco looked at Theo’s eyebrows as if it was the first time he was ever seeing them. “Ooh, I like where this is going,” Theo grinned when Luna loosened her tie and he started to remove his own. The party was a blast. The Ravenclaws came up with some interesting games and quizzes, the Hufflepuffs brought pastries and more drinks from the kitchens, and the Gryffindors brought a record player to play various magical and muggle hits all night long. Granger turned it on and put the first record on it. Draco once again refrained from playing Twister. He sipped Firewhisky from the glass, enchanting a few ice cubes to keep the drink cold. Theo was a savage and drank Firewhisky right from the bottle between the rounds. Theo, Pansy, Luna, and Neville took very exposed poses on the Twister mat while Ginny spun the card with the color pointer. Draco noticed she was cheating to make the players take more salacious poses. Granger seemed to notice too, sitting on the leather sofa drinking Butterbeer. She was smiling, like everyone in the room, but her thoughts were obviously somewhere else. They played, and talked, and drank, and danced. The room got a bit blurry, and at some point the lights were dimmed. “So, shall we play another game?” Theo proposed when everyone got a bit tired of various activities and took their seats all around the room. There it was, that part of the night with the “talking” games. “Theo, please don’t,” sighed Pansy. “You will ruin such a nice evening.” “Why not? I thought you always liked this game?” They argued for a while, gaining the interest of everyone around. Draco rubbed his temples, anticipating what was to come. “Well, what’s the game?” finally asked Ginny in an impatient, almost motherly voice. Theo looked at Draco as if asking for permission. Draco shrugged his shoulders, giving Theo the opportunity to decide for himself. “It’s called Truth or Dare,” he said, smile shining like the midday sun. There was a mutter of disappointment all around the room. People were obviously expecting something more than that. “…With an Unbreakable Vow.” At that there was a loud burst of indignation. Everyone got excited, and there was a shift around the room as students came closer to the center where Theo was standing. He quickly explained the rules in a slightly slurry voice. “We’ll have to take the Vows so we can’t back out once we’ve chosen. And we can’t lie if we choose Truth. It’s just a little spice to an otherwise boring game. The dares and the questions are up to your discretion, nothing extreme or fatal, obviously.” Some people were still uncertain, and Theo added “We used to play it during our fifth year.” Draco felt several quick glances at him. He curled his lip in confirmation of Theo’s words. Back then, they thought all the students played this game. But as they later found out, it was mostly popular among children from the pure-blood families, whose parents resorted to Unbreakable Vows more often. While other teenagers played spin the bottle, the Slytherins played with life and death. And there was always a spooky story of someone playing the game, breaking the Vow and dying. It took a good twenty minutes for people to make up their minds about playing this version of the game or not. Theo repeated the words of the Vow they had to take and assured them it was safe and nothing would really go wrong. A couple of students left but it was more likely they wanted to go someplace private instead. Everyone else took the Vows. By now, they were all tipsy. Cheeks blushed from the hot room that desperately needed fresh air. Draco loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top of his shirt. Theo fully unbuttoned his a long ago, the blue tie hanging out of his pocket. As they took turns, they asked the usual questions and made the typical dares. The only thing that made the game feel more intense was the Vow, it kept the adrenaline high as the booze continued to affect them all. There were questions about their first times, their sexual attractions, and old crushes. Then there were dares to make out with those crushes, several students looked hopeful they would get their chance. Granger chose Truth and Pansy asked about her first kiss. Draco was certain she would tell them about the Weasel, but when she said Krum’s name everyone cheered. Hermione smiled, still sad, and took a big gulp of Butterbeer. It seemed she had a lot of bittersweet nostalgia about those moments. Draco found himself wanting to ask her about her best kiss — would she name Weasley or Krum? That would be fun. On her turn, Neville said Truth. “Who do you think is the prettiest girl in this room?” she asked. Poor Neville went pale, but Draco noticed where his eyes went immediately. Granger saw too. Draco looked at her. She knew already, judging by the satisfied look on her face. But she knew Neville wouldn’t take the first step without being pushed a little. “P-Pansy,” he muttered. The crowd cheered loudly. Pansy blushed and snorted with fake disdain. Draco saw right through her, she was clearly pleased. When it was Theo’s turn, he chose dare and had to drink from a barrel of Butterbeer while Seamus and Cormac held him upside down. Draco tried to not look up at this circus, covering his eyes with his palm and hoping Theo wouldn’t throw up on the carpet. It was just Draco’s luck that he picked Theo’s name out of the hat. “Truth or Dare?” asked Theo, hiccupping. Draco never chose Truth. He was too scared of getting asked the wrong question. Not a “who did you lose your virginity to?” type of question. A question about his past. The one he couldn’t bear to answer. He either didn’t know the truth or he didn’t want to admit to it. "I choose Dare," Malfoy said. "I dare you to kiss Granger," Nott smirked at him, sipping Firewhisky from the bottle. "Theo, you prick". The Slytherin common room filled with laughter and whooing. Granger looked up at Draco with glassy eyes. She seemed so lifeless and indifferent since coming back to Hogwarts, and even now she didn't flinch at Theo's dare. Draco was surprised she agreed to play in the first place. "Theo, I didn't expect anything smarter than that from you," Pansy rolled her eyes. "Pan, on my next turn I'll dare you to make out with Longbottom if you don't shut up," Theo barked with laughter, obviously very pleased with himself. "I think you have a kink or something," she curled her lip and took a sip from her bottle. "I choose Truth then," Malfoy said. "Ask me anything." "You know you can't take it back." "Yeah, I know," drawled Draco, lazily stood up from the armchair and approached Granger. "You're not going to condemn me to death, are you?" he asked Hermione. She looked up at him from the sofa. “Of course not,” she stood up and swayed a little. Draco’s hand made a quick move to her elbow as she stood to help her balance, but he stopped before he could actually touch her. “We don’t have to do it here,” he said. “Heeeeeeey,” Theo interrupted. “I know the rules,” Draco was strained as he looked at Hermione. She looked back at him, drunk and blank. “I’m okay,” she shrugged apathetically, and Draco felt anger rising up inside of him. How could she be so indifferent about it? “Do it,” she commanded. He took a step closer, while the entire room quietly watching. He studied her face, pale freckles, lips glossy from the Butterbeer, and eyes shallow as if she was looking through him. Granger was a bit shorter than him, so Draco had to tilt his head just a little. As his face got closer, she closed her eyes, and he gently pressed his lips to hers. He kept them there softly, leaving them just a moment longer than was necessary. She didn’t make any move to kiss him back. He moved his head away, but did not step back. The room was silent. Something was wrong. Nothing was wrong with Draco Malfoy kissing Hermione Granger, not even in front of everyone. It was that she didn’t react. She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t appalled. Nothing. The Hermione Granger they all knew was gone. Her ferocity, her energy. It wasn’t there. They all knew it and they all had to finally admit it. Hermione Granger was broken. She opened her eyes, empty of emotion, and Draco suppressed the desire to shake her. To make her hit him, again. To do something that proved she was still in there and alive. To wake up. He looked at her and felt a cold shiver go down his spine. He realized he was looking at some kind of reflection of himself. Someone who laughed out loud a long time ago. Someone who needed to remember what it felt like to experience joy, warmth, and love. Someone who needed to be understood. Seen. “Hey,” he said softly and placed the palms of his hands on her cheeks, as if trying to transfer his warmth through them. He looked deep into her eyes trying to see behind the veil. Trying to silently shout to someone who was behind that mask of emptiness. She blinked. “Hey,” she said. Blinked again and frowned. As if distantly recognizing him. Draco noticed a bit of pink returning to her cheeks while he was still holding them. He didn’t know what to say, so he said something he would have loved for someone to say to him. “I care about you. We all do.” “What?” She blinked again but put her palms over his. “I want you to be happy. You don’t have to go through this alone. We are all here with you, we’re all in this together. You are not alone.” Draco felt a lump in his throat; saying these things out loud was like finally hearing them himself. And for some reason it made him feel lighter. Draco felt her squeeze his hands slightly. He watched Hermione’s eyes fill up like wells, with awareness and tears. Her lips trembled, nostrils flaring. “I’m sorry this happened to you,” he whispered, pulling her face closer. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I want to fix it. I want to fix everything. Let me try and fix it. I will fix it, okay? Do you believe me? You are not fucking alone in this.” She nodded fiercely and tears fell down her face. He tried to wipe them with his thumbs. “It’s okay,” he muttered. “It’s okay.” Was he telling it to her? Or himself? Her lips were wet with tears. Her hands were gentle, brushing over his neck. Her skin smelled like quills and fresh parchment, and Draco realized he was tucking his nose into her neck, hugging her, as she was sobbing in his arms. “I did not expect that,” Theo whispered. Draco heard a punch, probably from Pansy, and Theo’s quiet “ouch”. Draco wanted everyone gone. There would be a moment when the embrace ended, and he didn’t want anyone there when it did. Help came from where it was least expected. “Uhm, Pansy,” Neville coughed deliberately loudly. “Let’s go.” He stood up from the pillow on the floor he was sitting on, approached Pansy, and offered her his hand. She blushed and stood up to join him. They left the room, and by doing so shook the daze off of everyone else. Some people cheered for Neville and Pansy excitedly. “Well, I mean, if that’s what’s going on…” Theo stood up and looked at Luna with a silent question, summoning a bottle full of Firewhisky. “Do you know a contraceptive spell?” she asked matter of factly, standing up, and Theo choked on his next sip. The liquid came out of his nostrils. “Uhm… No,” he said, disarmed. A few students were trying, and failing, to restrain their laughter. “It’s okay, come on. I’ll teach you,” Luna said as she walked away. Theo brushed a hand awkwardly through his hair and stumbled after her, while everyone else started to clear the space. Too quickly, the crowd was gone and the room was empty. Draco hoped to make the moment a little longer, not ready to end the hug. He was nervous of what to do and say next. Granger pulled her face away from his chest and wiped her wet cheeks. “I started to read your book,” Draco said before the silence got awkwardly heavy. “Oh. How is it?” “There is no magic.” Hermione laughed. “No, there is not.” “How will he get out of the prison? With no magic?” “With his wits and a bit of luck.” “I should finish it, then.” “You should. I think you’ll like it.” They awkwardly stepped back from each other and there was a quiet pause. “I feel like I want to tell you so much. And I don’t know where to start,” he said honestly. “I think we should talk; it would be good for both of us,” she nodded. “I think we should also kiss more, for the sake of it,” he said, attempting a joke. She laughed again. Her eyes were shining happily.