Shadows of the past

I stood in front of the mirror, complaining to my reflection about today. - To get three interview refusals in a day… Yes, Baek Na Ri, it’s hard to find a loser like you. Also this delivery… But at least I learned a little about Ji Yu Ong — I pulled my hair into a ponytail, tucked a stray strand behind my ear, straightened the elastic, and eventually let my hair down again. — What am I doing, huh? It’s just a thank you dinner, who cares what I look like. My dialogue with myself was interrupted by a call from the courier who brought the food. I threw on my jacket and ran out of the house into the street. - Good evening. Your order, — the courier handed me a large package. — Bon appetit and have a good evening. - Thank you. Having grabbed the package more conveniently, I headed towards the store, feeling some strange excitement. When I entered, Yu Ong did not pay any attention to me and continued to lay out documents. And who just pulled my tongue with the offer of this dinner. - I came. - Okay, — he pointed to the far corner of the store. — You can settle down there. I’ll be free in a couple of minutes. This was the second time I went into the store, but only now I was able to look around. It was impossible not to notice how cozy it was here — warm light, shelves of different shapes, on the shelves of which, in addition to books, there were pots of flowers, frames with photographs on the walls, calm, unobtrusive music. The corner I was walking towards was apparently a reading area where visitors could retreat to a book during the day. This part didn’t look like a store at all — soft armchairs with cushions, coffee tables and a fluffy carpet that made the atmosphere even more homey. I took off my shoes, walked to one of the tables and, sitting on the floor, began to take out the contents of the bag. Ji Yu Ong locked the front door and, turning off the main lighting in the store, came and sat on the floor opposite me. - It is very beautiful in here. - Thank you. - Why did you decide to open a bookstore? — Yu Ong was in no hurry to answer, and I could not determine his reaction to my question. — Sorry, I didn’t warn you in advance — my chatter is a bonus for dinner. - This is quite expected, — he grinned, but this time there was no usual condescension in his intonation. — I always loved to read and bought a lot of books. When they no longer fit in the apartment, we had to think about what to do with it, and then this very premises was rented out. The idea came to combine a bookstore with something like a library, where people could read, borrow books home, and bring their own. - This is a wonderful idea. I’m glad you were able to implement it. - I hope it worked out. - Now everything will cool down, — I handed Yu Ong the chopsticks and opened the remaining containers with snacks. - Japchae with pork? - Y-yes… Didn’t guess right? — I froze, waiting for an answer, as if it was another interview test. — Don’t like pork? Well, of course, it was necessary… - You guessed it. - What? - So Joon still spilled the beans? — Ji Yu Ong grabbed the noodles with his chopsticks and, having tasted them, nodded in satisfaction. — Delicious. - No, Kim So Joon didn’t say anything. I decided that since I don’t know anything about you, there’s no point in guessing about your preferences, so I ordered what I love. - Then maybe you can try it already? My words about choosing dinner were just a joke — You are not in the exam, Baek Na Ri. But, I must admit, your serious approach impressed me, — trying not to betray the embarrassment that I felt after Yu Ong’s words, I began to slowly stir the contents of my container, although there was no need for this. — Bon appetit. - Bon appetit. - Judging by the number of things, you came here for a long time? - Yesterday I was sure of this, but now I don’t know, — Yu Ong silently cast a questioning glance at me and continued to deal with the noodles. — I managed to fail several interviews during the day. - What are you going to do next? - Honestly, I don’t know… I will continue to search, but there are practically no options left where I would like to work, — without any interest in the food on the table, I still tried a piece of meat. — Oh, really delicious… - Nobody finds a job in one day, that’s normal. - Yes you are right. Today I was advised to send my resume to Koinex. - Koinex Magazine? I don’t like journalists,” Yu Ong took a seaweed leaf and thoughtfully began to roll it. - Do you like writers, but don’t like journalists? - Writers in books warn that the circumstances and characters are fictitious. Journalists, on the contrary, try to convince everyone of the veracity of their articles, without even realizing that sometimes they destroy other people’s lives to the very foundation… - If it was a stone in my garden, then you missed. I’m just an editor. - No, this has nothing to do with you. Sorry, please, I shouldn’t have said all this. I really didn’t mean to offend you. - It’s okay, — the conversation was more complicated than I imagined, as if each of us was thinking about something different. — And in any case, I’m hesitant to send my resume to Koinex, so… - Why not? I think it’s worth a try. What if working in this magazine becomes the very starting point that will change your life? - Or it will become another failure. - Or so, — after falling silent for a while, Ji Yu Ong pointed his chopsticks at me and continued enthusiastically. — Send them your resume and if they refuse, I offer you a temporary job as a salesperson in my store until you find something suitable. Why not motivation? Agree that passing an interview is much easier than putting up with me. - Oh, Mr. Ji Yu Ong, I didn’t expect such self-criticism from you. - Don’t go off topic, Ms. Baek Na Ri. - No matter how you regret your offer later. - In that case, make every effort to save us both from each other’s company, — this phrase was similar in content to what he said to me yesterday on the terrace, only it sounded completely different today, which made me smile. After that the atmosphere became more relaxed. We talked about abstract topics, but we did not do it to maintain formal politeness. I listened with genuine interest to everything that Ji Yu Ong said, and it seemed that there was no topic that he did not understand, but he did not try to focus all the attention on himself. The conversation was unusually easy, allowing me, albeit for a short time, to forget about all the current problems, and this could not but surprise — just a few hours ago I did not even know the name of this person, not to mention the fact that our communication with him did not go well with from the very beginning. - Thank you for this evening. - To me? For what? - For keeping us company. I don’t remember the last time I had dinner not alone… But I’ll try not to so unceremoniously invade your personal space again, — Yu Ong laughed and tiredly rubbed the bridge of his nose. - The invasion was sudden, but I had a good time, — making it clear that the evening was over, he began to collect empty containers a little detachedly. -I’ll put everything away now, — Ji Yu Ong did not argue and handed me the dishes that he managed to collect. - I still need to stay and finish something, I don’t want to leave it until the morning. - Yes, of course, I’ll leave now. - Baek Na Ri, I’m not kicking you out, — he got up, took the bag lying on the floor and opened it, helping me put all the garbage there. — Spend the rest of the day today sending your resume. Tomorrow is the end of the work week, maybe you will be able to get an answer before the weekend. - You don’t like journalism, but you still insist that I send my resume there? - Do I insist? You yourself want this, but the longer you think about it, the worse it will be to decide, so act now. My beliefs certainly shouldn’t influence your career, and it’s stupid to deny that working at Koinex has great prospects. - Admit it, in your free time from working in the store, do you conduct psychotherapy sessions for those in need? — Yu Ong smiled silently and walked towards the cash register, grabbing the folder he had left there earlier from the shelf on the way. - Good night, Baek Na Ri, — realizing that the communication limit for today had been exhausted, I didn’t ask any more questions and headed for the exit. - Good night. When I got home, I took a shower, hoping that it would help me wash away all the negativity of the day. Yu Ong was absolutely right — the longer I delay, the more doubts arise, so I just need to send a letter and whatever will happen. I sat down on my bed with my laptop, found the email address I needed, indicated in my cover letter that I was ready to consider other vacancies, attached a file with my resume and clicked the treasured “Submit” button. Well, that’s all, the first step has been taken and there is no turning back. I no longer had the strength to look for anything else, so I slammed the laptop, turned off the light and climbed under the blanket. What a long day it was today and how much happened, and I’ve only been in Seoul for a little over a day. Despite all my failures, for some reason I was in high spirits. The circumstances that happen to us certainly have a great influence, but those who help us cope with these circumstances are much more important. Today I have met many caring people who lent a helping hand and helped me maintain the belief that everything will still be fine, the main thing is not to give up now. Where I grew up, such an attitude was rare, so it’s difficult for me to accept the fact that there are other people — it’s scary to make a mistake, to be disappointed, but I allow myself to believe it. With this thought I fell asleep. In the morning I was woken up by a phone call. Not immediately realizing that this was not an alarm clock, I still answered. - Hello… - Ms. Baek Na Ri? — a ringing female voice came from the phone speaker. - Yes… - They’re bothering you from Koinex Magazine. You sent us your resume yesterday. Can you talk now? — I jumped up on the bed and there was no trace of sleep left. - Yes!!! — I cleared my throat, trying to even out my rapid breathing, and continued more calmly. — Yes, of course, it’s convenient. - We are ready to invite you for an interview. Can you arrive today at 13:00? — I looked at the clock, showing the beginning of ten. - I can! Of course I can! - Amazing. I will send you the address in a reply letter. Tell the administrator that you have an interview scheduled, she will conduct it. - Thanks a lot! - See you! Short beeps were heard on the phone, and I sat on the bed for another minute, trying to comprehend what had happened. I pinched my arm, making sure I wasn’t dreaming. - Ay! Of course, the invitation doesn’t mean anything, and certainly doesn’t give any guarantee that I will be hired, but I didn’t even expect that my letter would be noticed at all, because one can only guess how many of them they receive every day from those interested work there. After taking a shower, I sadly looked at the still empty refrigerator and made a promise to myself — no matter how today ends, I will finally go to the grocery store. I opened several boxes of things that were delivered yesterday and found my lucky bracelet. - You must bring me luck, you have never let me down yet. Satisfied with my reflection in the mirror, I took my bag and left the house. Today I decided to go to the metro station where the Koinex office was located, and there I would find a place to have breakfast. Arriving at the place, I was convinced that my decision was correct, because there were a huge number of cafes for every taste. I chose a place where there were fewer people, and after placing my order, I opened the magazine’s website to learn more about its work in case I was asked questions. The time spent studying the history of the company passed quickly and when there was half an hour left before the interview, I went to the office. As they promised me, the administrator took me to the assistant manager — the same girl who called me in the morning. Yesterday’s interview at the publishing house, although it ended in refusal, went very comfortably, so today I felt quite calm until I was informed that the head of the publication himself wanted to talk to me. - What?! - Don’t worry so much, — the girl smiled kindly. — There’s nothing special about it. Mr. Nam Hyun Sik likes to conduct interviews in person when he has free time. We entered a spacious, bright office, the walls of which were hung with numerous diplomas and awards. Nam Hyung Sik stood at the window with his back to the door and turned around only after a few seconds. He was a strong man of about sixty, wearing a strict, impeccably fitting suit and glasses with expensive frames. - Director Nam, — the assistant came up to him and handed him a folder. - Baek… Na Ri? — he said this with some surprise, although maybe I was just too nervous and it seemed to me. - Yes. Hello, — I bowed and took a few steps towards the center of the office. - Take a seat. Coffee? - No, thank you. - Cha Yeon Hee, you can be free for now, thank you, — the girl bowed and immediately left the office. Left alone with Nam Hyun Shik, I began to get even more nervous. Hearing a refusal from an administrator or assistant, of course, is offensive, but hearing it from the owner of such a large publication is a blow that my self-esteem can no longer bear. I mentally prayed that this interview would end soon, but Nam Hyun Sik was in no hurry and studied the contents of the received folder. - Baek Na Ri… — he turned his thoughtful gaze towards me, as if he was waiting for something. — Can I ask you a question? - Of course. - It is personal and does not relate to the interview. - I’ll try to answer. - Your mother’s name wasn’t Hwang Chang Mi? — Hearing my mother’s name, there was a painful stabbing in my chest. I was ready for any question, but definitely not for this one. - Yes. - How is such a coincidence possible… — Nam Hyun Sik closed his eyes, as if driving away uninvited tears. - Did you know my mother? - Yes, I had the honor of knowing this incredible woman. Every time I remember her, I think about how unfairly early she left our world,” Hyung Sik loosened his tie and stood up from the table. He walked over to the cooler, and only after taking a few sips of water did he speak again. -You look so much like her… - Mom didn’t tell me anything about you, — I felt awkward, not at all understanding how to behave and what to say, because I really didn’t know anything about this person. - You were still just a child… It turns out that you and your father almost immediately left Seoul? How is he? - He passed away at the end of August. Heart. - Sorry, I didn’t know. - Nothing, — Hyung Sik returned to his chair and absentmindedly ran his hand through his hair. - Our leading editor quit, and I think this position is suitable for you. - Mr. Nam Hyun Shik, I have great respect for you, but I cannot accept this offer. I don’t want to get such a high position just because of sympathy or pity for me. - What does pity have to do with it? You are looking for an editor position — I offer an editor position. - The presenter. - And what? It’s still an editor. Yes, more responsibility, but otherwise an ordinary job. At first, I will help,” seeing my disagreement with his words, he raised his index finger so that I would let him finish. — Just like I help any other employee. I once held this position myself, but then I realized that due to my age I can no longer keep up with trends, so I need to give way to young talents with a fresh look at journalism. - I’m afraid not to justify your trust. - If you don’t want to work here, then I don’t want to force this position on you under any circumstances. - Yes, I couldn’t even dream of an interview at Koinex Magazine, let alone work here. - Then what is it? - In the absence of experience. I don’t want to lie to you and embellish my capabilities. - Experience accumulates over time. At your age, I had practically no work experience at all, but I knew that I would achieve everything I wanted in this life. — Hyung Sik leaned his elbows on the table and looked me straight in the eyes, waiting for an answer. — So what? - Fine. I promise that I will work hard so that you don’t regret accepting me,” he clapped his hands contentedly and pressed the selector button. — Cha Young Hee, please come in. A moment later, the assistant with a diary in her hands was already standing near the table. - Starting Monday, Ms. Baek Na Ri will take over as the leading editor of our magazine. Today you need to give a tour of the office, introduce the employees and provide all the necessary introductory materials. - Will be done. Something else? - Yes, reschedule everything that I had planned today to other days. I’m leaving now and won’t be back until Monday. I don’t feel well, — Nam Hyun Sik leaned back in his chair, completely untying his tie. - Maybe call a doctor? - No, no, it’s not worth it. It’s okay, you just need to rest. You have a task for today. — Hyung Sik rose from the table and turned his gaze to me. — Baek Na Ri, I am very glad to meet you and hope for a long and fruitful cooperation. - Mutually, Mr. Nam Hyun Sik, — I also hurried to stand up and bowed deeply. — Thank you very much. - I’m waiting for you on Monday morning, we’ll draw up a work plan for the week. - Thanks again. Goodbye! Cha Yeon Hee and I left the office and I had the feeling that throughout the entire interview I was not breathing from fear. - Congratulations! - Thank you. I haven’t even realized what happened yet. - It’s normal, — Cha Yeon Hee smiled, trying to cheer me up. — Awareness will come as soon as the work process begins. - To be honest, I was not ready for such an offer and now I’m terribly afraid not to live up to expectations. - Director Nam have assembled a real team in which everyone is trying to help each other, so there is nothing to worry about. I’m sure everything will be fine,” Cha Yeon Hee headed towards the elevator. — I suggest starting to get acquainted with the company from the editorial department. I had doubts about how the other editors would receive me, because many of them probably thought that they would take the place of the presenter, but everyone was very friendly and invited me to lunch. I spent the rest of the day in the office — I met correspondents and photographers who were not working on the road today, designers, and layout designers. - This is your office, — Cha Yeon Hee opened the door, letting me go forward. — Small, but comfortable and, most importantly, quiet. This is rare in our office. The “small” office was almost the size of my apartment, but I decided not to voice it. - Everything you need is here, but if you need anything, just tell me. Mr. Nam Hyun Shik always says that you should not spare money on arranging the workplace, because being there should inspire the employee. - I am in heaven? — I carefully ran my hand along the edge of the desktop, still not believing that it was now mine. - Welcome to Koinex Magazine! Today the working day is already over, so you can go home, but I still need to stay late. In the evening I will send you informational and promotional materials about the company, technical instructions, and programs we use by email. You’ll have a look over the weekend, and on Monday I’ll be happy to answer all your questions. - I’ll wait, thank you! - How many times have you repeated the word “thank you” today? — I thought, and Cha Yeon Hee laughed heartily. — I don’t know what kind of relationship you had with your colleagues at your last place of work, but in our company it’s customary to help each other, and no one considers this something special, so get used to it. - It will take time. - You will have it. If you don’t need anything else today, then I’ll run? I still need to send a few letters before seven o’clock. - Of course, I distracted you from work for the whole day. - Actually, I was carrying out an order from the manager, — Yeon Hee lifted her chin and put her hand on her hip, reinforcing the importance of her words with her pose, but a second later she laughed charmingly again. — See you on Monday! - See you. Taking advantage of the fact that I was left alone in the office, I sat down in a chair and began to unwind. The main thing is that no one comes in. The bracelet fulfilled its mission as a lucky talisman flawlessly. It turns out that sometimes reality can be better than your wildest fantasies. Of course, it was not my merit that I was hired — the key reason was that Nam Hyun Sik met his mother, and among other things, I have yet to find out what connected them, but this interview is my winning lottery ticket, from which I I almost refused, which would definitely be the biggest mistake of my life. Now I will need to focus on work, do what I can and prove, first of all to myself, that I occupy this place by right. I stood up and walked to the window, which offered an incredible view of Seoul, and remembered how just two days ago I was sitting in the rain, with a small suitcase, but a whole baggage of doubts. If only I knew then what was waiting for me here… Although I still wouldn’t have believed it. The black rain cloud that hung over the city made me think that I needed to hurry home, because I didn’t have an umbrella with me. I looked around the office again, and, taking a deep breath, as if drawing a line on today’s events, I left and headed to the elevator.