sᴏɴɪᴄ ᴛᴏʏ: 𝓐𝓭𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓸𝔂𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓼

— Action! — calls the director from off-camera. — Clapperboard! — shouts the guy holding the slate, snapping it in front of the camera in the foreground—right before a Sonic toy, who stands behind a roll of tape, waiting for filming to begin. — A-a-and... go! — says the cameraman, still off-screen. Shadow attempts to sit down on the roll of tape as if it were a chair, but he misjudges the angle slightly; he lands right in the hole in the center and gets stuck. The cameraman can't stifle his laughter. Shadow looks utterly shocked and tries to stand up, but he can't—he only manages to lift himself up with the tape roll still firmly stuck to his backside. The entire film crew—and Shadow himself—burst into laughter. — Well, isn't anyone going to help me? Huh? — he calls out to the cameraman, slowly shuffling forward while still chuckling.

***

— What are we going to do, Mephiles? — We need a head! All the toys inside the air vent grab the Time Eater and charge forward, using him as a battering ram. — WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE MY HEA-A-AD??? — he screams as the group—on their very first attempt—smashes through the vent grate and bursts into the room. — Cut! You guys didn't secure the grate properly again, — says the director from off-camera.

***

      Sonic comes to life inside a glass display case and tries to open it. The glass remains stubbornly fixed; it won't budge under the pressure of his hand, nor will the door swing open. Suddenly, Tobey Maguire pops up from below and yells at the cameraman: — FIX THIS DAMN DOOR ALREADY!!!

***

— Action! —Clapperboard! — Alright. And... go! The camera pulls back from a Shadow toy standing inside a display box, revealing a shelf filled with rows of identical Shadow figures in the "Hedgehog" section of the store. One of the Shadows accidentally burped. — Oops. I don't think I even ate anything, — he said to himself. — Stop! — the director called out, halting the scene. All the other toy Shadows were outraged and started grumbling: — Ugh! That’s disgusting! — Oh, come on. It’s that guy in the second row again. —Sorry! I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me at breakfast. Alright, it's over now. My apologies.

***

— And... action! Sonic stood in the middle of collector Sinitsyn’s room, leaning slightly forward. Bunnie, standing beside him, gave a sharp tug on the pull-string on Sonic’s back; however, instead of activating his voice mechanism, the string snapped off, and Sonic—propelled by the momentum—flew right out of frame. A loud crash was heard, followed by Bunnie’s laughter. Sonic and the film crew soon joined in the laughter. The boom operator was laughing so hard that he lost his grip on the microphone, and it dipped right into the shot. — Maybe... maybe we could actually use that somehow? — the rabbit asked between fits of laughter. — He lost his pull-string! The cyborg rabbit doubled over with laughter. She struggled to bend down to retrieve the fallen string from the floor.

***

      Nadya Belaya and Stephanie sat facing each other on their beds. — And... action! — the director called from off-camera. — You and your friend David really love the Sonic characters. I do too. I actually brought some of my own toys along with me. — Nadya took her backpack off her shoulders, set it on the floor, unzipped it, and pulled out two plush toys: Sonic and Tails. — Wow! Sonic and Tails! — said Stephanie, while Nadya set Sonic and Tails aside, pulling out whatever else she had in her backpack. — That’s not all yet, — she said, pulling a bag of Lay's chips from her backpack. — Mom bought these cheese chips abroad for cheap so we wouldn't spend too much money. — Setting the chips aside, she pulled a key from her backpack—one that looked just like the key from *Hazbin Hotel*. — It’s a key with an all-seeing eye. I don't know what it unlocks, but Dad slipped it into my bag, just in case.

***

      Hiding in the bushes along with the others, Silver asked: — Whose legs went missing? — Mine, — Bokkun replied with a mix of sadness and exhaustion, glancing behind him. Meanwhile, his legs had been wandering around on their own; upon finally reaching their owner, they sat down beside him with a weary slump. — Great shot! — the cameraman called out from off-screen. The legs stood up straight again, and the other toys stepped off-camera toward the spot where a small bell had just chimed. Bokkun turned to face his legs and addressed them: — You performed wonderfully today. You really are such lovely little legs. — He held out his hand, and the right leg reached forward—instead of a hand—so he could shake it. — Well done!

***

      Nadya Belaya handed Stephanie a steady stream of items as she continued to pull them from her backpack. — And this is a PSP handheld console—just in case I get bored and have nothing else to do—plus a PSP charger, an adapter plug in case the outlet doesn't fit, a spare PSP in case the first one breaks or gets lost, and a Game Boy, too...

***

      — Everything is just so wonderful, I feel like breaking into song! — Chip said with a smile, reaching out his hand. He hoped to catch the microphone, but the toy speaker missed slightly, dropping the mic right past him—which resulted in a couple of seconds of high-pitched feedback. "Oops. Mr. Speaker, did you hurt yourself? Please, toss the microphone right into my hands next time; mine are rather small and slippery, you see." He turned to the camera. "Alright. I'm ready to continue." — One more take! — the director called out from off-camera.

***

      The speaker overcompensated and accidentally threw the microphone right at Chip's head. He began clutching his head and screaming in pain. — OH, NO!!! OH, NO!!! I THINK I BROKE MY NECK AGAIN!!!

***

      Nadya continued pulling items out of her backpack. — And this is dynamite. Just so you know, it’s the real deal—so don't even *think* about lighting it, or else it’ll go BOOM!!! — she shouted the last word, throwing her arms wide. She did it with such force that not only Stephanie but all the other girls in the cabin flinched, and some even let out quiet little yelps.

***

— Clapperboard! — A-a-and... action! A brand-new Shadow toy, wearing a wicked smirk, walks past shelves filled with identical new Shadow toys still inside their boxes. Upon reaching one particular box—inside which sat a Sonic toy who, with puffed-out cheeks, was rapidly drumming his fingers against the clear plastic—Shadow was suddenly caught off guard by the sight and started to laugh. The black-and-red figure, cheeks now puffed out in turn as he struggled to stifle his laughter behind his smirk, held out his hands—a silent plea to halt the filming. The rest of the film crew, standing just off-camera, began to laugh as well.

***

      The plush Shadow stepped forward. Sewn right into the space between his lips—using extra black thread—were a mustache and a beard. — I’d love to come along with you guys, but I really ought to stay home so my owner doesn't worry, — he said. Suddenly, he noticed that the film crew was looking at him rather strangely—and laughing. — What...? What’s so funny? — He turned around, caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror, and—realizing the cause of the laughter—instantly grew irate. — Ha-ha-ha. Very funny, Sonic! — he retorted sarcastically, placing his hands on his hips. — Alright, look... It’s going to be dark soon. Cut those threads off, and let's take it from the top!" the director called out from off-camera.

***

      Eggman finished peering through his binoculars and put them away. According to the script, the other toys rejoice that Sonic has saved Chip. Afterward, all the toys look at Eggman and laugh at him, having spotted dark circles on his face right between the lenses of his goggles. The Doctor looks surprised. — What?... What’s so funny? — He glances off to the side and shouts: — SONIC!!!

***

      After receiving a hug from Sally, Mephiles suddenly notices that her palms have accidentally left smudges and handprints all over his face. What’s more, they appear to be indelible. Sally nearly bursts out laughing along with the film crew, while Mephiles—furious as he inspects himself—storms off-camera and shouts: — WAS THAT YOU AGAIN, SONIC??? — Alright, alright—cut! — the director calls out through his laughter.

***

      Nadya was still pulling a few more items out of her backpack. — And some markers, so I’ll have something to draw with... and just a little... — she plunged both hands into the backpack and, gritting her teeth, struggled to haul something heavy out of it. With a mighty heave, she pulled out a large, live crocodile—one that behaved just like a pet dog.

***

      Danila Bagrov stood by a traffic light, smiling as he gazed into the camera, until his brother, Viktor Bagrov, arrived. Trees and a thick fog surrounded them. — What a joy, brother. Today marks our first day of filming. I still can't quite believe that you actually managed to talk them into shooting the adventures of "Brother 3". — Yeah. I can hardly believe it myself. By the way, there’s one tiny little detail I forgot to mention. — What detail? — Danila turned to face Viktor. — Well, you see... This is the third installment. Heh... Well... Unfortunately, it's a different scene. Danila was shocked. — But then I don't understand... What kind of movie is this? — he asked, pointing at the map. — A-a-and... action! — the director called out from off-camera. A car sped up and accidentally struck the Bagrovs, sending them flying into the sky amidst their screams.

***

— So, guys... are you coming with me? — the blue hedgehog asked the other collectible toys—a group that, for the moment, did not include Tails. Sally stood right beside Sonic. For now, they gathered in a circle and began whispering amongst themselves to discuss what Sonic and Sally had said. Strangely enough, they all decided that it was the right thing to do. Having reached a consensus, they stood up and spoke in unison: — We're with you, Sonic. — Especially me! — Robotnik chimed in. — Great! Tails—what about you? What do you say? — he asked the fox. At that very moment, however, Tails was chatting with two plush dolls—identical twins—depicting a brown hedgehog named Varanda. Sonic, Sally, and the others stared wide-eyed at the sight. Tails himself was holding the cute dolls by the hands and chatting away: —You two look like two peas in a pod—absolutely identical! Heh-heh-heh. I'll have a word with the director and see if he can cast you in "Sonic Toy 4". — When he finished talking and turned around, he was shocked. — Oh! Sorry! Has filming started already? — Yes, — the director replied from off-camera. — Oh. Well then, girls, it was lovely talking to you, — the little fox said by way of farewell. — Thank you so much, — one of the dolls said as she walked away with the other. — See you later! And if you ever need any tips on acting for kids, just ask me! — Tails added by way of farewell, then hung his head in embarrassment before the film crew.

***

      Nadya was still pulling a few more items out of her backpack. — And an iron—to press my pajamas before bed. And dog food. Stephanie’s eyes went wide. — Dog food? What for? — For the wolves, of course! — she explained. Walking over to the door, she threw it open. — Come on! Come in! From outside, wolves—along with their pups—immediately came streaming into the house in droves, howling as they went; they sniffed along the floor, searching for something to eat. Terrified, Stephanie and all the other girls scrambled up onto the bed. — Oh, no! Ugh! Yuck! Honestly! Wolves? That’s just too much! — Omarova grumbles, pulling out her walkie-talkie. — Get my agent on the line!

***

— Action! — the director calls out. — One second! Let me check the focus! — says the cameraman. A massive, six-legged monster stands waiting for filming to begin. A spider descends from the ceiling and speaks to him in a human voice: — Is it true that you were the one in the first Sonic Toy movie? The six-legged creature pouts his lip in thought and replies—also in a human voice: — Well... If you look closely, they only actually filmed the scene where I’m shown from my left side. — So, what’s next? — the spider asks, and the six-legged creature replies: — They promised to cast me as the villain in the new Godzilla movie. The spider looks surprised and asks: — Whoa! Seriously? — Alright, quiet! We’re rolling! — the cameraman calls out from off-camera.

***

      The cameraman holds up the clapperboard and snaps it shut. — Clapper! And... action! — the director calls from off-camera. Tails stares straight ahead with a stern expression and asks: — Is this going to take long? Do you really think that when you finally meet up with Karen again, she’s going to take you along to work—or on her honeymoon? — Suddenly, Tails accidentally lets out a fart, causing his eyes to go wide with shock. — Oops! Oh God! Was that me? How mortifying! The entire film crew—along with the director off-camera—bursts into laughter. Then Tails himself starts laughing and says: — I’m so sorry! I couldn’t help it. I probably shouldn’t have eaten so many chili dogs right before the shoot. —So that’s where they went? Did you eat them all without me? — Sonic demanded indignantly from off-screen. — Oops! — Tails yelped in alarm, flashing a sheepish grin. — Gotta go! — He quickly dashed away. Sonic rushed in right behind him, shaking his fist as he gave chase. The film crew burst into laughter once again, and the director called out: — Alright! Cut!

***

      Smiling and looking directly into the camera, the Will Vandom doll spoke: — We are all so glad that you finally came to join us. But now our movie is coming to an end, and it is time to say goodbye to all of you. Bye, everyone! As you rise from your seats and head for the exits, please don't spill any leftover popcorn or cola on the floor! It would be better to take them home with you and finish them there! And please, don't forget to toss your candy wrappers and empty cola or popcorn containers into the trash bins. Also, if you watched this film in a 3D theater, remember to take off your glasses and place them back on the shelves where you picked them up when you entered the auditorium! Thank you all, and once again—goodbye! The sound of a ringing bell was heard off-screen, and the director announced: — Alright, that's a wrap! Thanks, everyone. Roll the commercials! Will Vandom sighed wearily, letting her head and arms droop. As she walked away, she murmured to herself: — Finally! We waited so long for this movie to finally get finished—what with all the disagreements among the screenwriters—and now, at long last, it’s finally out. Now, I’m off to get some rest!