Scrapbooking

       Admiral McToffee, your breakfast is served, sir! Your favourite military ration pack, with a chicken flavour! Since your least favourite porridge has been boiled over during an incident in the galley. … Everything is in order already, admiral, sir! Oatmeal fire has been contained and terminated by the combat annihilation nanorobots. … No, sir, no one has issued an order to release the nanorobots! They escaped through a hole in their container, corroded by the porridge. … No, sir, the robots did not annihilate anything else! The porridge disrupted their nanostructure. Yes, sir, the whole load of nanorobots has been annihilated by the porridge. But now we know that the cook has been the Centaurian spy on the board of our space flagship because the porridge incapacitated two space-marine squads. … No, sir, the spy cook did not do any other damage and was damaged himself. He got sucked out into a hole in the multilayer skin of our ship, burned through by the porridge. … The spaceship pressurisation has already been recovered, sir! The skin hole got plugged by the gastric masses of a giant space squid that swallowed the ship. … No, sir, it is not the end, sir! We still have laser cutters! If you order the engineer company to exit the ship, they will be able to cut a load of frech squid meat, and the last meal of the whole remaining crew will be fantastic! If you let me, sir… When I was a boy scout, our scoutmaster taught us to fry space squid on a plasma burner with creosote…