head over heels

“What are you thinking about, Jungkookie?” Taehyung sat across from the thoughtful Jungkook and felt his gaze on him. He stared for a long time, almost unblinking, smiling at something of his own. Jungkook hears the question but doesn't want to answer. Having drunk a bottle of dark beer, he is now a little tipsy and wants to take the chance of observing the one who stirs his heart so much. "I would like to connect all the constellations on your face with an invisible line". Slightly drunk Jungkook, wants to touch the birthmarks on Taehyung's face as he plays truth or dare with their friends. But he can't. Taehyung has a boyfriend and Jungkook can’t and won’t interfere with his feelings, no matter how much it hurts to see their locked hands every time they meet. The only reason Jungkook can afford to smile now is that Taehyung’s omega is not with them today, which makes the younger one happy. Very happy. “Hey, Jungkook, what are you doing up? Come on, it's your turn. Truth or dare?” Yoongi tugs at the hair on top of his head, bringing his distracted attention back to the game."What are you going to choose? Truth or dare?" says Hoseok with a mischievous look in his eyes because he is the one who has to guess the truth or the dare for Jungkook, leaning on Yoongi's shoulder: “Dare” answers Jongkook, thinking very briefly. Surprised chuckles spread around the room where the seven friends are gathered. Everyone knows that Hoseok is crazy. “Aren't you afraid?” asks the alpha with a wink. Jungkook is silent for a few seconds, looking first at the emptiness in front of him, then at Taehyung, who looks back with a slight smile on his lips. “No”, he's not afraid. Maybe Hoseok, with his sixth sense and his ability to understand unspoken words, will help the omega move on. In front of his friends, he will push him towards the one whose presence makes his palms sweat with excitement. The heart in his  chest will begin to beat faster. “Confess your love.” “ What?” Of course Jungkook expected that, but not like that... “Confess your love. You're in love with someone, aren’t you?” - Hoseok's mischievous smile and Yoongi's furrowed brow as he looks at his Alpha make it clear to Jungkook that the two creeps know exactly what the Alpha is talking about. “Right now?” Jungkook gets a bit lost, almost sobers up and sits down flat on the floor. “I can give you time.” Hoseok plays with his eyebrows and speaks with a slight sneer, “ I'm not cruel enough to force such a thing.” “How much time do I have? One week? Two? A month?” “A month is too much, a week is not enough. How about two weeks? Two weeks to confess your love is enough?” Hoseok, with a sense of accomplishment, rubs his hands together in satisfaction and relaxes as he looks at his friend. It was nerve-racking  for him too, to say it in front of everyone and not knowing how Jungkook would react, but he couldn't stand the pained look on his face any longer. “Okay, I got it..." Jungkook grumbled, getting up and walking out of the room where his friends were chatting. “Where are you going, Koo?” Taehyung's voice stops his legs, but not his heart. It's pounding like crazy and his head is buzzing with questions. Taehyung couldn't find out who Hoseok was talking about, could he? “Are you leaving already?” Taehyung walks around him and puts a hand on his shoulder. “Yes... yes, I'm going. I have classes tomorrow morning. I should get some sleep” Jungkook lowers his eyes, which find Taehyung's hand, and glides his gaze over his fingers. His hands are so beautiful. He should paint or play the piano. Jungkook  would like to see that. Jungkook is the youngest of the friends. All six of them are two or three years older than Jungkook, but they go to the same university. Taehyung is a fifth year modern art student and Jungkook  is a third year vocal student. Omega, who came to the university as a freshman, first met Yoongi. He is studying to be a producer, and with his help Jungkook quickly found loud and cheerful friends. And Taehyung... He was his first true love. It was love at first sight. On the day they first met Taehyung had helped Jungkook find a lecture class. He led him and was too nice and polite, inadvertently paving the way to Jungkook’s heart. With no way back. This path was only for Jungkook, while Taehyung treated him like a little brother. “I think you're getting too nervous," Taehyung smiled friendly and looked at Jungkook's rosy cheeks. “Everything will be okay. Whoever you're in love with will love you back. I'm sure of it.” Taehyung looks at Jungkook and squeezes his shoulders with both hands, supporting the dishevelled omega who is about to cry. He wants to cuddle up to the shoulder of his loved one and cry. “It can't be otherwise, it's you, you're the sweetest and most adorable person I know,” Taehyung speaks softly and Jungkook's eyes begin to glisten with the accumulation of tears, “Come to me." he pulls him and hugs him tightly. Jungkook feels like sobbing. So hard and loud. He wants to tell Tae of his love, to put hand on his trembling heart, to show him how it wants to burst out of his chest because of such closeness.   Taehyung hugs him often, and Jungkook dies every fucking time.   They stand like this for about two minutes. In the middle of the hallway of Hoseok's apartment, who, by the way right now is looking out of the room and with a purse of his lips, he looks at Yoongi, who also sees what's happening now. Hoseok crawls on his knees over to his omega and sits down next to him, speaking quietly so the others won't hear, he says with a worried tone in his voice, “A few more times like this and we'll be picking up the shards of our little one's heart." They are worried and can't help it. Jungkook is part of their family. A true little brother whose love-sick heart they want to keep safe and sound.   “They're such fools…” Yoongi whispers, resting her head on her alpha's shoulder.   Taehyung gently wipes away the tears rolling down Jungkook's cheeks with the pads of his fingers. He realises his grip and wraps both hands around his face “Let's go. I'll drive you home.”   Jungkook wants to refuse, to say he'll take a taxi or go on foot, but he follows Taehyung without saying a word. He wants to spend some more time together. He is selfish, but  Jungkook doesn't know what else he can do....   🧷   “Where are you going?” asks Taehyung while on a video call with Jungkook, when he notices the omega running from side to side, packing a bag for something.   “I told you, hyung. I agreed to help out at the camp. It's still the holidays, so I don’t want to waste my time.”   Jungkook will never admit that he volunteered to help his groupmate and asked him to take him to a camp just to get away from Seoul. It's been ten days since the Truth or Dare game and Jungkook is afraid of wearing his heart on his sleeve.   “No, you didn't, I'd definitely remember,” Taehyung brushes her hair, which is sticking out in all directions, after sleeping, “For how long?”   “For a fortnight, I think. Maybe I'll get a replacement and go back to Seoul earlier,” Jungkook is flickering brightly in front of a sleepy Taehyung, who is blinking at his phone.“Why are you calling so early? It's nine a.m., I thought you were asleep.”   “Eunsoo came by to pick up his stuff, so I had to wake up at seven,' Taehyung says with a yawn, “ I need to go to sleep.” Jungkook stands in front of the camera and looks at Tae with a frown.   “Wait. Why did he come to get his stuff?” “We broke up a week ago” Taehyung stares back at Jungkook and rests his head on his hand. “You two broke up? Why? What happened?” his heart is beating its treacherous rhythm again. “Nothing. We're just too different. Nevermid, you’d better get ready now.” Alpha shies away from the conversation and changes the subject. “It's really sad, hyung…”, Jungkook sits down in front of the phone with a T-shirt in his hands and looks at Tae. He doesn't want Taehyung to suffer, no matter how much he loves him and how happy he is about the separation.   You'll never know Taehyung’s real feelings. He always keeps all his worries, fears and nerves to himself and looks like the calmest person in the world. Right now, Jungkook is looking at him, but he can't see worry behind those shining eyes, indifferent to the situation.   When Taehyng is looking at Jungkook there's only tenderness and calm in his gaze.   “Our relationship is over, it’s okay, Koo. Don't worry about me.” If they were together, he would definitely rub Jungkook’s blushing cheek and tuck a long dark strand behind his ear.   Jungkook believes Taehyung because he asks him to, but the excitement that shakes his body makes it hard for him to think clearly. He's been thinking for so long about how to confess his love. How to say about his feelings, since there are only four days left in this stupid game. Jungkook definitely wouldn't tell Taehyung if he were in a relationship. He wouldn't want to ruin it, but now… why not? Jungkook’s head has generated so many outcomes of his confession that it would be ridiculous to remember them. Talking to himself, Jungkook imagined different types of Taehyung's reaction and after each one, he was crying into his pillow in despair.   He is as much in love as he is afraid to admit it to the man who is now looking at him with a slight smile. Taehyung with his head resting on his hands, looks at the omega and wants to bite, pull, pinch Jungkook’s cheeks so badly. He wants to do something to make Jungkook smile and embarrass himself like he usually does, instead of sitting there frustrated and clutching his T-shirt.   After talking for another five minutes, Jungkook hangs up. He tosses his phone into his bag so he won't snap and call Taehyung and do something very stupid. The cold shower doesn't help him clear his mind, it seems to have the opposite effect, making his thoughts even more confused.   He wanted to give up everything and run to Taehyung, but something stopped him and pulled back.   Alpha had just broken up with his boyfriend, and Jungkook couldn't just burst into his life and talk about love. It takes time...   🧷   The days at the camp are fleeting and hectic. Taking care of the kids, helping the friend who also works in the camp takes up all his free time, but it doesn't occupy his head. All  Jungkook can think about is Taehyung.     Jungkook wishes he could confess his love. He wants to do it to shivers, to trembling knees, to goosebumps running down his arms. But he is afraid that Taehyung won't accept him, that he'll push him away and tell him that he thinks he's just a little brother, just a friend.   Jungkook doesn't want to be a brother, a friend or anything else for Taehyung. He wants to be the beloved Omega…   “Jungkook, pass the bottle, please,” asks for a bottle of cherry juice from the icebox Suran, a fellow omega. Jungkook silently hands over the bottle being completely detached from reality, “Don't get too drunk, Kook!”says Suran when he sees his friend's tipsy face.   “I wasn't going to,” he mutters back.   “I'm just warning you,” he laughs and walks back to the pavilion, leaving Jungkook alone by the fire. He really isn't drunk. He's only had half a bottle of light beer, which hasn't done much to erase the images of Taehyung from his mind.   Jungkook finds his phone somewhere on the upholstered seat, opens the gallery and finds a photo of Taehyung that he took about two years ago. If it had been a paper photo, it would have been frayed and faded from how often the omega looks at it. In this photo Taehyung looks completely different. With blue hair, not as broad-shouldered as he is now. In this picture, he's asleep, cuddled up with his little sister's plush toy, his lips slightly puckered. What a cutie...   Jungkook’s heart flutters with something incomprehensible, and butterflies in his stomach tickle his ribs, causing a silly smile to spread across his lips. Jungkook runs his finger over Taehyung's cheek in the picture on his phone and feels that he is going to be crazy. With love. With feelings.   He locks the phone again and begins to twist it in his hands. He thinks too much and wants to call but is afraid to. His fingers open the video-calling app on their own, against the will of the omega, and then tremble cowardly as he waits for the call to be answered. After about ten seconds, Taehyung appears on the phone's screen in real time.   “Hi.” Jungkook is the first to greet him shyly and a little unsure.   “Hey, Koo.” Taehyung sits in the car and turns on the light to show himself to Jungkook. Omega smiles embarrassed at how long it's been since he's seen this precious face.   “Are you driving somewhere? Am I in the way?” Jungkook puts his phone down on the table, leaning it against a bottle of unfinished beer.   “No, not at all, Koo,” Taehyung brushes back his unruly hair and looks at the omega, “How are you?”   “Everything's... fine. I'd like to ask for some advice, hyung,” he sounds uncertain. Omega pulls the sleeves of his soft gray pullover up over his fingers and for some reason doesn't look at the screen, as if he's avoiding looking at Tae. If he doesn't start this conversation now, he never will. He feels that now is the right  time.   “Of course, Koo, I'll try to help you.”Taehyung looks at the Omega. He is looking so touching. Gentle. Too sweet. “You know... I would... I mean... well..." Jungkook mumbles, pulling the sleeves of his pullover tighter. He exhales and closes his eyes shut. He starts to bite the ring of piercings on his lip, trying to gather his thoughts. “Are you drunk? Why are your cheeks so red?” Taehyung tries to calm him down, letting him know that he can talk about anything. “Yes. I'm drunk." Jungkook lies. He just can't admit that he decided to have such a conversation being sober. “You little drunkard," he smirks back without malice, “What did you want to ask me?”   Breathe in. Breathe out.   “Hyung, do you think it's a good idea to confess your feelings to someone you don't expect to reciprocate?” As Jungkook says these words he clenches and unclenches his hands, pulls the sleeves of his pullover back over his fingers, picks at a fluff on the soft fabric. Jungkook continues to avoid Taehyung's attentive gaze, looking somewhere away.   “I don't really understand what you mean.” Taehyung leans his head back in the driver's seat. Outside cars rush past the alpha’s car, which has pulled over to the side of the road.   “Well... I can't tell if this man has any feelings for me,” he sounds almost resentful, and Jungkook finally looks up at Taehyung and meets his warm gaze. His heartbeat slows to a crawl.   “So you're in love with someone after all…” he says either with annoyance, or with understanding.   “I'm head over heels in love, hyung.” Jungkook stares unblinkingly at the face of the one who makes the world around him freeze. Then he smiles for a brief moment but his smile turns into a tight-lipped grin.   Taehyung chuckles slightly, turns his head sideways looking at his reflection in the car window for a few seconds, then back at Jungkook. He sees bright lights glittering in omega’s big eyes. In those eyes are constellations, myriads of the most beautiful stars.   Jungkook's last words make Taehyunghas  realised something important. Suddenly, like a flash of light that blinds his eyes. He has realised something that lurked somewhere in the back of his mind behind seven seals and inhibitions with the words "He's my friend". A friend who made Tae’s heart beat faster every time.   Taehyung had chased those thoughts away for a long time. He'd ignored them, didn't want to see them, tried to forget them, even started a relationship with someone, which was a big mistake. Every free minute he thought about the one who made him smile. The one with the big bambi eyes, with the scar on his cheek, the touching mole under his lip. The one he wanted to kiss and cuddle and whisper words of love in his ear, but... Jungkook is in love with someone who isn't Taehyung. “How long have you known this person?” asks Taehyung with a voice full of inner tension. He hadn't realised that these words could be so hard for him to say.   “I know this person enough to see him as the man I want to spend the rest of my life with” Jungkook smiles at these words, being a little bit embarrassed by them. He again slips both hands into his sleeves, stretching them out.   Oh, poor sweater...   “In that case, I think it's worth confessing so the situation can be cleared up quicker and you don't have to worry so much.” says Taehyung smiling encouragingly to the camera.   There is a big difference between what Taehyung says and what he wants.   “What if he... starts ignoring me after the confession? He'll just turn his back on me? I'm afraid of losing our relationship with this man.” The result of long thought and doubt is longing in these words.   “Koo, if you allow yourself to think like that, maybe this person isn't worthy of you at all?” It’s the Taehyng’s  pathetic attempts to stop the confession.   “No... he's very good, hyung. He's the most beautiful person I’ve ever known. The thought of him makes me smile, even now.” Jungkook speaks quickly, moves a little closer to the phone on the table. At this moment something in Taehyung's heart twitches uncomfortably.   He doesn't hold back at all. He smiles, a cute dimple on his cheek, and tucks his fringe behind his ear with his hand.   Taehyung doesn't want to say anything else because of the unpleasant residue of Jungkook's words on his tongue. He remains silent for a long moment, just looking at the omega who takes a sip of water from his bottle and then smiles.   “As long as I've known you, you've always had a smile on your face.” Taehyung sees Jungkook's nervous fingers snapping again. He wants to be close to him, to ask him not to snap his poor fingers and then kiss each of them to calm him down.   “I met him at the same time as we did and I fell in love at first sight.” Jungkook himself believes that he's drunk, so he dares to say these words, looking at Taehyung. Tae doesn't look too pleased, but hides his feelings behind a soft smile.   “Is that someone from our friends? Do I know him?” Jungkook has been waiting for this question. There's no turning back now...   “You know him  very well.” Jungkook laughs for some reason. He even giggles slyly, covering his face with both palms. Taehyung can't help but soften when he sees his Koo like that. Jungkook is happy to be in love with this man, whoever he is. Taehyung can't help but feel happy as well and push his feelings back into his heart.   “You know, he doesn't like coffee, he doesn't like strong alcohol and he doesn't like to let his hair down. But it suits him very well. I always want to touch his curls and feel how soft they are,” Jungkook says dreamily, looking away and pulling up the sleeves of his poor grey sweater. It’s embarrassing...   After these words Taehyung looks at Jungkook more closely. He frowns his bushy eyebrows down to the bridge of his nose and moves closer to the phone screen. Through these words he recognises....   “He licks his lips a lot. At first I was annoyed by this habit, but over time it's become so natural. Oh, he also bites them a lot, which makes them red all the time. It makes me a little angry, but I love every little thing about him, hyung. He doesn't use many words either, he says everything with his eyes and his random touches that make me pick myself up in pieces.” Jungkook doesn't look at the phone. He's too nervous.   “He likes modern art, jazz and old records. He prefers slippers to tight shoes, but when he wears such a shoe, he tramples on the heel. He's silly... He loves freedom. He's also the best hyung I've ever had.   ...himself. Taehyung recognises himself in these words.   “Is there anything else, Koo? What else does your hyung like?” Taehyung asks, biting his lip to keep from smiling. Water... he needs water, otherwise Taehyung's dry throat won't be able to say another word. “Well... he also,"  Jungkook turns around and approaches the camera, speaking in a conspiratorial whisper, “when he sleeps he blows his lips in a cute cupid bow,” he giggles comically, “I even have a photo of him. I often look at it.” Taehyung can't hold back any longer. He puts the phone on the dashboard of the car so that he can stand alone and wipes his face with his hands, remembering to laugh a little nervously. Jungkook has infected him with his drunken giggle through the screen - there's no other way to explain it.   “Jungkookie,” Taehyung says quietly after he has managed to suppress a fit of laughter at his own stupidity, "did you just...?   Silence. One, two, three.   “I confessed my love to you, hyung…” Jungkook's heart sinks with desperate excitement, as if it's about to burst, and a silly smile comes to his lips at the way they look at him. “Can I come over now?” Taehyung can't seem to catch his breath before he gets an answer. “But I'm in Busan and you're in Seoul. It's a long drive, hyung. Why do you have to come here? You can tell me no over the phone call.” He giggles nervously and speaks quickly. “Can I come now, Koo?” Taehyung's tone is extremely serious despite the soft 'Koo' at the end. “Why, hyung...?” “To kiss you. I want to kiss you.” Poor Jungkook's heart shrinks to the size of an atom and then breaks. “Hyung…” “ I was on my way to see you. I wanted to talk to you, I was on my way to Busan and you called me. It must be fate, right, Koo?” Taehyung laughs nervously and looks at the flushed Jungkook, “I was afraid of messing up and ruining our friendship with my confession, but... but you were the first to do it, and you were the one who made everything  right.” “I never would have done it if it wasn't for Hoseok and his 'dare'," Jungkook confesses. “Can I come to you, Koo?” Taehyung already knows the answer. It's in the omega's glittering eyes, staring at him unwaveringly.   “I am waiting for you, hyung.”   Taehyung came. Half an hour later he was there. He stood for a few seconds in front of an embarrassed Jungkook, who was shifting from foot to foot, pulling his sweater over his fingers as usual, and then kissed him for a long, long time. They kissed up to swollen, red lips. He pressed Jungkook against him, hugged him, whispered what lurked deep in his heart into his pink ear. He couldn't let go for fear that Jungkook would fade like a vision in his arms. He wanted to be there for every moment like that and realised how hungry he was for his warmth. He realised how much time he'd wasted by simply ignoring Jungkook's heart in omega’s eyes that always looked at him. He berated himself, berated himself. Berated. Berated. Jungkook kissed his face shyly at first and then, a little more daring and intoxicated with the excess of emotion, he squeezed the alpha's cheeks and kissed the cupid bow of his lips. He  had dreamed of it for so long. Sitting on his strong thighs, soaking in his favourite scent that enveloped him all over, getting under his skin and mixing with his blood. Taehyung couldn't stop staring, examining every familiar millimetre of skin, running his fingers over the scar on his cheek. Kiss, kiss, kiss.   Jungkook had the courage to ask for more that night. He took the alpha into the room that would be his home for two weeks, but the alpha was embarrassed and asked if it was right in a children's camp.   He wanted Jungkook so badly. He wanted to taste every patch of pale skin. To leave his footprints.   Taehyung, still questioning the rightness of their actions, was pushed onto the bed, timidly but forcefully. Jungkook sat down on it, blushing to the tips of his ears, and started to take off his stretchy sweater, wanting to cover himself from the embarrassing feeling of being naked, but he wasn't allowed to. Taehyung sat up on the bed and pulled Jungkook's chest closer to him, starting to kiss his neck and gradually moving to his collarbones. He kissed the hot skin of his chest, tickling his waist and upper body. “Are you sure you want to do this now, Koo?” Taehyung asked, exhaling against his lips and listening to the omega's frequent breathing, “We're in no hurry. Let's make it nice, huh?” “I want to make sure now that this isn't all a dream, hyung,” he whimpers weakly and asks for more touch. “I'm afraid of hurting you, Koo.” Taehyung turns Jungkook onto his back with a gentle tug and sits down between his legs. “ I want to be yours…” “Trusting me with all of yourself so easily?” Taehyung slides his hands over his belly, fingering the top of his underwear under his trousers. “Trusting all of myself…” he whispers back, struggling to hold loud gasps and moans.   It's beautiful. Jungkook is so beautiful. Taehyung gently kisses his forehead, cheeks and cheekbones, being very careful. He slowly takes off his pants and underwear, leaving him naked while he remains fully clothed. Jungkook himself takes off Tae’s sweater and throws it on the floor, coming closer when he's touched there. He's ashamed, afraid, but it feels so good when the alpha fingers his way into his tightness, stretching and reducing the uncomfortable sensations to a bare minimum. He likes the way Taehyung looks at him with love....   How long has he been looking like that? Jungkook won't be able to remember because he tried to avoid direct contact with Taehyung at all costs. He was afraid to see the coldness all the time.   The tight knot in his stomach, the tickling sensations and rhythmic movements of his fingers replace the languid tenderness that spreads through his body like molasses. Taehyung pulls him close, kissing his cheekbones wetly and brushing her swollen lips over his, burning not from the hot kisses but from the desire to kiss more and more. Jungkook gives himself to this embrace, strong and tender at the same time. He falls apart without being able to put himself back together because he is so loved. They push and push until the end, until the muscles in his groin tighten, until the moans turn into a hoarse whisper of pleas: “more, kiss me, love me more”   Taehyung loves and loves Jungkook endlessly that night, kissing the traces of his passion and impatience on the soft skin of his omega.   And in the morning, awakened by the bright sunlight that had entered the room through the window and now played amusingly on their naked bodies, Taehyung leaned on the small bed with his elbow, tousling the dark hair of the still sleeping Jungkook, gently brushing it from his face. Such a beautiful, loving face. Jungkook squirms in his sleep from the tickle, but continues to sleep, and Taehyung just closes his eyes tightly and presses his lips together, trying not to break into small pieces of something completely inadequate out of tenderness and love.   "How can you be like this? Like...?"   Taehyung realises, with a great, great delay, that the one person he's needed all these years is standing right next to him, looking at him with his deer eyes burning with love. Alpha can't help himself, he needs to embrace his omega to the crunch of his bones and kiss him again on his sore lips. He desperately needs his dose of love, because as of today he's a drug addict who refuses to be treated for his addiction. He piles Jungkook on top of him and kisses his sleepy face. He wakes up quickly, mumbling something about brushing his teeth and then kissing him, and Taehyung snuggles into the sleepy omega's neck and realises that ....   He is happy.   Like no one has ever been.   In love.   Head over heels in love with someone who is now tangling her fingers in his hair and purring.   And stupid.   Damn foolish to have been blind until last night and to have missed so many sweet sunsets and sunrises with the love of his life.