Cafe on the bridge

The man doubted for a long time what question to ask, and was it necessary? He believed in cards, but not completely. Of course, there was some truth and reflection in them, and he knew it, but there was something incomprehensible in them. What eluded his gaze was what lay before his eyes and what was always close to him. But he couldn’t grasp it. Pauline looked at him with curiosity. It was clear that he had nothing to look at at the cards, and he did not want to ask anything. He wants to know what this tool is and how it works. Of course, this was not new to him. He had seen how masters work before. Pauline noted this immediately as soon as a conversation began between them. But what was stopping him? Pauline didn’t know, she didn’t really want flattery into his soul, this is a dirty place, where sometimes there are horrors and worse things that are shown in films and written in books. Something was bothering him. Maybe he was looking for answers to his soul in cards. Pauline’s intuition told her that she should help him, if he didn’t just sit down. And then she took the cards in her hands and began to lay them out in order. Starting from the very first card of the major arcana, “The Jester,” to the very last card of the major arcana, “The World.” Martin leaned on the table, he was relaxed and the wine, which had begun to wear off, was still affecting his head. Pauline finished her half-cold coffee. And collecting all the other cards together. She looked carefully at Martin. — So why did you take up fortune telling? Isn’t it as profitable as they say? — The girl shook her head. Words were unnecessary. Moreover, this was not the first time she had heard it and did not want to answer it. — No. I took it up for myself, and then it grew into a craft to help others, at first I helped myself. Then others. — She took off her coat in the cafe, it became hot, music was turned on somewhere in the background, she understood the mood of the visitors. — And how did it help? — Pauline shook her head wearily. The tarot did not fully help her, and all the spiritual practices that she performed did not help her, nor did the long walks in the dark until dawn. She didn’t know how to answer this question. How to properly repress what was going on in her soul. — Why then do you do for others what did not help you yourself? — Martin said this in the heat of the moment; he regretted his words. He didn’t want to speak so bluntly and call her life’s work nonsense. — Don’t know. I think it will help you or other people. We are all different. Some people like vanilla ice cream, some like strawberry, some like chocolate, some don’t like ice cream at all, but like juice. We are different, but this does not mean that what did not help me will not help you or others, we just all hear differently and feel the world differently. — Well, for example, in different ways. I see, I hear, and I broadcast into this world. — Martin leaned towards Pauline, blocking the weak light that illuminated their faces. “And I don’t know any other way to communicate with this world.” -You think like a warrior. These are the only ways you have. — Pauline answered him so that their foreheads were now touching. — but at the same time you don’t know that you can broadcast through books, or music, paintings — this is also the transfer of information, or, for example, dance. Tattoos are also a way of saying. Any action is already the transfer of information. Whether it’s pushing back a chair in the middle of the evening or closing a window in front of a person’s nose. We just don’t understand all the signs, and we interpret many of them differently. For some, a smile is happiness and a sign of joy, but for others it is a sign that a person is sick or not himself. For some, waving your hand means that you are greeting a person, and for others, that you are saying goodbye to him. It’s the same with many symbols. You people of universality have come up with a set of signs that many people understand, because in an emergency situation you need many people to understand the same symbol in the same way. To save them. But I don’t like these symbols. They are fake. — Fake? — Martin was indignant — No, these symbols are beautiful in themselves, they can allow you and me to communicate in the same language, that’s why it’s wonderful. They unite. “But that’s where their charm ends.” They do not bring anything into a person’s soul to advance him or force him to move. For better or worse. They do not come from the heart. If you look carefully at the picture, that is, talk to it. Try to find out its history, and then after leaving the gallery you will not be able to think about anything else except this painting. After all, the picture will continue to tell you its story, that it captures some separate piece of this story, a rather vivid episode, but there is also an episode that contributed to this moment, what you saw in the picture, and an episode that comes after it. If, after reading a book, you think about what happened before and after the story described in the book. Then the book will speak to you, in its own language. If you close your eyes at a classical music concert. But you will listen to a story created in a moment of vivid emotions and insight, but when you come out afterwards, it will seem to you that you know both the story before these emotions and the story after these emotions. Looking at the dance, you will always know the beginning, the background of this dance and the end of the story that follows after this dance. True signs are eternal. They flow from one to another, looking at the sculpture you feel the background of this sculpture, how the master created it, you literally see it and feel it, and what comes after the master made the figure. The eternal flow of energy is transformed into signs on earth, in art. Somewhere in music, somewhere in books, but these are eternal signs; they have no beginning and end, unlike modern signs, which exist only in the process and in the moment and die in the same moment. The same cannot be said about real signs. As long as the human era has existed, they remain unchanged. Yes, new directions are opening, but they still continue to broadcast to us. And mind you, humanity has given up a lot and destroyed a lot, but art stands and doesn’t go away. Do you know why? Because you can understand him even if you cannot speak, see, or hear. — Tell me, what’s the point of going so far into art? The government has always fought against it. — This is because only it writes the truth. After all, if you want to study the history of a country, look at the art of that country. For books, paintings, sculptures. And then you will understand everything. Where have you seen that writers were paid to write books on certain topics? Correctly, this has never happened and will never happen. Because books always remain timeless. And out of the situation. Everything that is written in them can never become outdated, no matter how we looked at the books. This is the foundation of education. Only by reading does a person grow. And it doesn’t matter whether he studies somewhere or not. People sometimes overestimate going to college. — Martin was ready to bet with her, as a person who graduated from university and college, he knew that these were very necessary institutions, especially for modern youth. — But how will people get knowledge? After all, there are professions that you cannot master on your own. Surgeon, astronaut. — Pauline waved her hand. It seemed to her that this was sheer stupidity, she had gone through this hell, and for her it was a problem that had passed. — Yes, there are such professions. I agree. But tell me, were your choices made based on the basics of what you wanted, or did you make decisions because you needed to make them urgently and didn’t think much about it? — Martin understood what she was driving at. Yes, he really saw the day when he went to become an engineer, and in his first year he realized that this was not his path. He literally howled with boredom in class, and ate and ate to finish his studies. And then he went to a military institute, and also not really because he wanted to. All of his choices regarding his studies were made because he was not given time to choose. Meanwhile, Pauline saw that she had touched something living in him, something that he was resisting. I started to continue. — You, most likely, like all of us, made decisions quickly and when choosing a profession, you chose from the one that would pay you the most, and where you would have to work less, either with your head or with force. People choose professions based on these two parameters. It is very rare when people choose with their souls and really find themselves and their gift. Usually they go to this for years, and sometimes they don’t find themselves at all. So, what am I talking about, yes… — Martin interrupted her. This evening he is not the only one who must feel like a teenager who has messed up. — Have you found yourself? — Pauline looked and there was silence, the guests began to leave, the moon was quietly setting outside the window, giving way to the chilled and still fragile rays of dawn, which, like a light, began far away. Pauline clapped her hands and smiled, which indicated a positive response. Martin was happy. For the first time he met a man who did not complain about life because he was underpaid or because he chose the wrong road. Not once throughout the entire evening and night did he hear a whine or a complaint from her. “I’m on my way,” Pauline answered not very affirmatively. — And you don’t need an education? — Why did you decide? I get my education in the library, and whatever I want. And not what everyone needs except me. I just left university when I got bored. — But are you a cook? — Yes, I’m a cook. But I just didn’t write a diploma and didn’t pass the exams, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not a cook. I know how to cook… But who are you? This is the question — Well, I’m either an engineer or a military man. We’d better not mess around with the past, I don’t want you to get your hands dirty. — Pauline smiled, she knew why he didn’t want to mess with it. Like her, they locked that past away and promised themselves never to open it again. And they do it right. What’s the point of grieving? Or worse, fix what you did. You just need to start living and look at life in a new way. — It doesn’t matter who you are, the main thing is that you have life in your eyes. — Martin was surprised that this was the first time they had said such a thing. — yes, sometimes you look at people and you think. Here he is a scientist, he has a lot of diplomas and awards, but when you look into his eyes, there is such resentment and sadness that it seems dangerous. You can become infected with dullness and sadness. And you catch yourself thinking that there is no point in this. Because what’s the point of it all if you’re unhappy. If, when you turn around, you see how long you spent sitting at your desk trying to understand life. And I still didn’t understand her. Either with or without a diploma. — But these people must exist without them, there would be no progress, there would be no what people call a breakthrough. — Yes, there should be, but not all of them. Do you know why there are so many fools with diplomas? — No, why? It always seemed to me because people stopped studying and became not very good. — No. The attitude that you give yourself is your starting point. Do you know why students nowadays give themselves a bad attitude, they don’t want to study. And understand. They tell themselves something like “This is difficult, I can’t do it, why do I need this? This needs to be memorized, copied,” but you need to tell yourself something else: “I want to understand this, I want to use it, I want to know how it works from the inside.” Then and only then everything will be in its place and people will begin to not know the information as carriers, but to perceive it and accept it and use it. This is like picking up a machine gun and not knowing how to use it, or picking up a book by Camus and not realizing that it is valuable only because you don’t understand what is written in it Martin smiled, and this gesture did not escape Pauline’s attention. The man himself understood that it would definitely not be boring with her. Although he is arrogant, she will definitely correct the conversation when necessary. For the rest of the night they sat and watched the girls dancing on stage, the fight between the men, and the scene of jealousy. Pauline laughed and Martin watched a lot. He was used to that action, and not used to talking much. But the conversation with Pauline did not burden him as it usually did. Which gave him pleasure. After all, if not for this moment, he would have left two hours ago. Wander through the cold streets of the city,