…
“… Fine. Thanks for understanding, Inkwell.” “Don’t mention it, Your Grace, I understand, that ponies like you have a crowded schedule. If you have some time, you can read the next topic in the meantime, so we don’t have to start from scratch.” “I’d if I have to.” “Goodbye, Your Grace.” After saying goodbye to the professor, I hurriedly closed the door. By that I wouldn’t catch myself staring at another stallion for the umpteenth time that day. I had to generally, referring to the terrible busyness, to send him to hell, because I’m afraid to even wonder what would be for me in the current, not quite adequate state, an hour and a half classes in his presence… I was annoyed and whipped my tail on my side. No, I wasn’t losing my head, of course, but my attention and thoughts were very easily and willingly focused on… on the wrong thing! Abyss! Maybe it was the lack of habit, maybe it was a very long absence of representatives of the opposite sex in the radius of my slightly mare body. I do not know, but my hormones were literally boiling inside, and excitement pounced like crazy, if I found a slightest reason. “Braaha-a-a!.. How do they live with this?..” I whined under my breath sadly. “They live good, with pleasu-ure”… Damn it. I rubbed the bridge of my nose with a heavy sigh. It’s really my own fault for paying so much attention to it… It goes willingly where I concentrate! Yesterday, for example, I somehow managed to talk to the blue one and, more importantly, Blueblood, who stopped by to see her. Yes, I behaved like a fool, answered in some places inappropriately, caught myself periodically thinking about what a dense aura the Prince has, what a strong magician he is and what a graceful long horn he has, how under the skin with shiny alabaster fur rolls dense harnesses of strong muscles, what a magnificent long golden mane, and his eyes, eyes!.. Roaring and rearing up, I hoofed the stone floor, deliberately not softening my landing. My stomach felt suspiciously warm and heavy again. Damn it! Let the abyss tear that Prince! I’m a fool as well, damn it! Remembering that fucking sex symbol in my current state! Current state… Current state… I snorted and laughed, reflexively trying to fold in half. A-a-a, da-amn!.. It was so beautifully phrased!.. And try to argue — the state is quite current… Geez!.. Somehow ending the laughter, I shook my head, suppressing the coming chuckles in myself. Damn… Well, in reality, my current — stop laughing! — state is not absolutely current, which really helps. I don’t seem to leave any wet spots, the “cover” doesn’t knock out spontaneously, so… we’ll get through it. The main thing is not to look at the stallions too much. And on all sorts of oblong objects, too, just to be safe… I cursed quietly as I felt my cheeks blushing. That’s it, hell with it! It’s better for me to have a cup of tea. To rejoice once again that I am clever and prudent and have foresightedly ordered me to provide everything in the living room for the preparation of it. And I hope I’m done with obsessive thoughts for the day. And let Rarity think of handsome Blueblood… What a competitor… Damn it.…
DA-A-ANG! “Fall, you’re killed!” I chuckled for a moment at the smoldering training ponyquin with a black spike on the side of its neck, wrinkling my nose from the burning and persistent smell of ozone. I wonder if my current is alternating or direct?.. I chuckled at the delirious thought and shook my head tiredly. Then walked over to my target and poured water from a bucket onto this smoldering thing. I grimaced and took a step back in haste when a small puddle of water touched my hooves on the floor. All right, let’s call it a day. The horn was beginning to signal that it have had enough of magic… “Will you clean that up?” I looked around the mayhem with doubt. In addition to the burnt one, a couple of ponyquins had turned to ashes and were now lying in piles on the floor, which was also decorated with puddles and scorch marks. “Of course, my Great One! Happy to serve!” The bat-winged guard of unexpected bright crimson color, who was in charge of the training room today, bowed enthusiastically. She kept looking at me with admiring eyes throughout my experimentation, and it was embarrassing at first… Well, surprisingly, I had admirers among the Luna’s blockheads. A few, but at least some. Interesting, what Luna is going to do with them? They, if something happens, will likely support me, than her… And heck with it, I guess. Luna accommodate them — let her have a headache about that. I said a short goodbye to the guard-fan, who was fixing my ponyquin, and left the training room. I think I’ll go organize some food for myself… Why am I here today all of a sudden? I’ve been watching a lot of memory lately, and I was curious to try something from it. I got in again today, and drowned the stupid excitement with appalling mood I always find there along the way… But I did it for a good cause — and I found some interesting spells, and they were tested at the shooting range, so I got myself back in the mood, too. Although… Yeah… Partially only… I know now, for example, a half combat-half torture spell. It overloads nerve channels and causes severe pain up to and including cramps all over the body in the most random and unforeseen places. Nightmare had originally created it as an anti-aircraft, so that Tia, running away on the wings, could be shot down. But the thing, which looked like a gradually expanding web in flight, was too slow to catch up with the flying pony. How did Nightmare choose the power of influence for it? Of course experimentally. On the only living target on the Moon. On herself. I shuddered nervously, remembering the sensations caught by the edge of my consciousness. No, I’d use it against only some really fucked-up scumbags — the “Shock Net” spell… In addition, I practiced what I knew and more or less mastered: the usual magic beam, impulse, lightning — I love that crackle, damn it… I tried to configure the shields — it goes like “nah, C and no more”. If Shining’s shield then, I remember, felt like a thick rubber backed by a mass of water, then mine, glowing with its characteristic native turquoise, looked at best like an inflated plastic bag, giving no sense of reliability at all. I was not very good at its form yet either… But, nevertheless, I grew a lot in magic during this month. The regular lessons, answers to any questions, and any possible books on the subject within walking distance had a very positive effect on the results. And my body was slowly coming to its senses, allowing me to do things, which would have sent me to the hospital earlier. And that feeling of energy flowing inside as you cast your spell… I blissfully squeezed my eyes shut. Oh, man, for the horn and the wings I’m even ready to forgive this body’s gender identity! Well, if right now, then I’m ready! And when the next problem and inconvenience comes up with it again, I won’t be ready, as usual… I chuckled briefly. “Greetings, Nightmare! I’m happy to see you in a good state of mind!” I was greeted as I turned the corner of the corridor. “Cadence? Hi. What brings you here?” I saluted the friendly pink alicorn with a wing and headed towards her. “Auntie gave me a few day offs — so I stopped by Luna. Haven’t seen her in a while… She’s so poor.” She drooped for a moment. “Then I thought of going to you, but the guards said you’re not there.” “I’m back, as you see.” I moved with a wing. “Will you come in?” “Of course, Nightmare.” Princess smiled. “Let’s go then.” I nodded in the direction she’d come from, staring at the mare for a moment. No matter how good Cadence draws make up, but exhaustion was written not on her face — on her whole body. It seems, that someone is really tired of replacing Tia on the throne… “Sorry for not stopping by earlier, Nightmare.” Lowering ears, the interlocutor confessed bitterly, when we were about to come into my chambers. “Cadence, have you seen yourself in a mirror?” I looked askew at her, slowing the pace. Nuts… “When was the last time you slept more than four hours, huh? Hungry?” “A bit.” She replied shyly. “Luna and I had a good snack, but it was a long time ago… And I got a good sleep!” “I believe you, yeah, yeah.” I nodded meaningfully. “Four hours plus a liter of coffee are still not “a good sleep”, Cadence. It’s more like “trying to have a good sleep”…” “Find me a servant to arrange a supper for two in my chambers. And tea with something tasty.” I addressed to a pair of blockheads, guarding next to the doors of my temporary apartments. Noting the beginning of the execution of my highest will, I opened the door: “Come in.” “I’m not that sleepy.” The alicorn grumbled, stepping over threshold. “And I don’t look that bad!” “Yeah, uh-huh. And who was whining then, in the letters, about having no time to sleep? Fall down, there are poufs lying around — grab yourself a couple of pieces. And yank the pillow off the chair. How are you doing at general?” “Well, okay, I’m a bit exhausted — you already noted that. And exaggerated.” The violet eyes of Princess looked at me reproachfully. But she heeded the advice and sprawled out on the poufs, pillow and fluffy living room carpet. “I’ve seen Shiny only two times during this period.” She sighed. About stallions, by the way… “Sir Clear is again hanging around with his bill, proposing the same thing in different wording for the second week, and making him review and reject it over and over again! Because he won’t get the money, he wo-o-on’t! Oh… And this Highly Likely! Auntie’s press-secretary, you know? Honestly, I want to…” Fucking kill her? “…Fire her and never let her near the palace again!” Ponies… “Oh, sorry, Nightmare… I guess you become tired of these work moments and their depictions? I’ve already complained to Luna, and now I’m complaining to you, I just can’t stop.” The alicorn became cutely embarrassed. “Well, I asked how you were myself.” I hummed, also laying on the rug on my side and trying to prop my head up with my hoof. Mediocre pose, not the best in terms of ergonomics. “It’s just as I wrote to you in my letters-it’s really boring.” Cadence waved away hopelessly. “Everything important, everything essential — and everything has to be done in the way that pleases everyone… How has auntie been ruling Equestria for the whole centuries? I’m so sorry for her…” “You’ll get used to it and won’t be worse than her. Maybe you’d even like it.” I chuckled. “Marry your Shining, conquer some kingdom from some tyrant and rule there as an alicorn…” “Nice joke.” My guest giggled blushingly. “And even marrying Shining… I’m not quite sure…” She hid her muzzle from me. “Oh, why are we talking about me and only me? How are you, Nightmare?” Princess hastened to change the topic subtly and elegantly. “Luna said, that you study, don’t you?” “Kinda.” I moved with a wing, making myself more comfortable on my belly and resting head on the folded fore legs. “Learn something, and sometimes it works… I don’t know what to tell about it.” “I can’t hold myself from this question… Excuse me, please, if it’s unpleasant for you…” The interlocutor hesitated. “You and Luna are getting along?” “Don’t you tell me you didn’t ask that herself.” “I did, but… wanted to.” “To get on my nerves on a plain spot.” I sighed. “Somehow we are. Both are alive, as you see. What else is needed?” “And you feel absolutely nothing towards her? Even now, when you live together, she teaches you and…” Got on my head, damn it! Cadence, I wish you ripping diarrhea during sex!.. “I don’t have a clue how I feel towards her, is that clear?” I interrupted the prater mid-word, diligently pressing her with a gaze “And it’s all because of you!” I stood up sharply, poking my hoof accusingly in the direction of the frightened alicorn. Then I walked quickly towards the bedroom, ignoring the bewildered call. I went in, looked for the letters of the blue one, and headed back. I was greeted in the living room by distraught and confused Cadence, with a “What have I done?” on her face. “Here! Seems familiar?” I waved with the sheets of paper before her nose. “Well, yes…” The alicorn mumbled shyly, taking the letters with a loss and watching the top one for a moment. “And what y…” “You’re the one who wrote ‘em, aren’t you?” I flopped back down on the rug, feeling the flash of emotion fade away, leaving behind a kind of tired apathy. “Luna, with her phenomenal abilities to get along with others, wouldn’t think of it in her entire life.” “Absolutely not, Nightmare.” Sighing, Princess shifted feet shyly and laid down further away, giving me a sad gaze. “I just hinted what she can try to write about to not irritate you.” “Like you know what does and what does not.” I grumbled under my breath, but the interlocutor heard that anyway. “Not this way… Just… Felt it would be… Right? And after that I was with Luna to support her.” “Why did you feel need in that at all?” I was about to get up, but fell back, waving away with a hand in thought. What difference does it make, really? And what do I even want to hear from her? “Both of you are my friends, Nightmare! I don’t want you to quarrel!” “Quarre-el?!” I almost started to hiss. “Do you even know what happened there to call it a quarrel?!” “I know, Nightmare.” She looked right in my eyes and but lost the gazes’ fight, but her voice was still defiant, even when she started to sharply examine the floor. “Luna told me everything — and this is why I promised her to do everything I can to make peace between both of you! And when I know, that you’re… Siblings — I won’t get back at all!” “She blabbed it out even to you?” I raised my brows in surprise. I didn’t expect that from the blue one — not yesterday, not now… “What difference does it make if I’m not going to forgive her?” “But you don’t feel the previous rage towards her?” Cadence looked at me with pity and hope. “I’d like to have it!..” “Why? For what?” Stupid horse! Fucking shit, gets on my nerves!.. “Because…” I stumbled, feverishly trying to state a reason. Not “because of what?” “For what?”. Damn it, Cadence!.. “You’re alive, you’re healthy, you have friends. A life with all its variety lies before you, your future does! And Luna has the same! Isn’t it a good ending for everyone? Isn’t it a reason to pardon the mistakes of past?” “Don’t you poke your nose into that!” I hissed coldly, greeting teeth. Cadence, you’re going for a story after which I’ll have to kill you so it doesn’t go to the masses. Just in case! You pink bastard, I wish you were torn and glued to pieces! God damn you with that kind of talk! “A good ending” she found, damn it… For Luna maybe, but for me… But for me… For previous me-human — not bad, I guess, but for me-pony… Yeah, like I’m not a pony, what a cool fairy tale… For Nightmare… I thought there wasn’t much left of her, but was I right? It’s hard for me to even mentally divide myself into parts: I am what I am. I love the flying, the horn-ringing magic and its possibilities, the attention to myself. I stare at stallions — even if it’s because of physiology… I want to believe that it’s physiology, yeah… And I also unwittingly cringe at the feeling of a look into my back under the starry night sky and I am desperately afraid, that everyone will leave me alone and, sometimes, I wind myself on this subject — in order to cry on the shoulder of my friend after the relief of meeting… I am Nightmare. I am as well. Changed under the weight of loss and the strokes of fate and under the influence of man and the Elements of Harmony. But we don’t say someone is dead when they change over time, do we? They say sometimes “After that he died to me” if some change they can’t accept, but the key here is still “to me”, right? And if I’m pretty much a Nightmare, which survived on the Moon, which came back here and found friendship and understanding and was able to move on, then… it really didn’t end so horribly?.. What if this is all just a thought for self-soothing, and I’m deluding myself?.. “Cadence, I’ll… Destroy you in the next duel.” With a sigh, I raised my muzzle, which was tucked into my front legs. I’ll even do a Shock Net for this one, damn! To make you feel something similar to what I’m feeling right now! Pink bastard… “Sorry, Nightmare. I really am.” Alicorn laid back her ears with a sigh and guiltily looked away “I wanted to better it… I shouldn’t have pressed so much. Sorry.” “Hell with you…” The bell rang. “Go meet our food if you’re so smart and understand everyone.” I grumbled, standing up. “And put the pillows on the floor in a more colorful way. I’ll put this waste paper.” I nodded at the ill-fated letters. “On its place.”…
“Tasty! I think I’ve never tasted such a thing.” Cadence fell onto the poufs with satisfaction. “Your loss.” I moved with a wing, chuckling shortly. “My loss.” The guest agreed, sighing with a clear strain. “But… Isn’t it too caloric?” “Don’t care.” I smiled, baring teeth. And if you look, considering how rickety my new body turned out to be, becoming fat was not a realistic prospect for me now. Especially considering the fact, that this body is not so easy to feed. “I’ll have to count it.” Alicorn sighed again, stroking her belly and glancing enviously at my still-not-empty plate. Fried potatoes with onions and mushrooms, sour cream, cucumber — though, not salted, but fresh, damn it — but still. M-m!.. Why didn’t they cook in that way? They used to eat mushrooms, fry potatoes, and have sour cream — but they never combined them, stupid horses. Long live the progression and enlightenment of the savages! I chuckled and crunched on a cucumber wedge with pleasure. “I’m… Of! Oh!..” Cadence tried to get up, and she looked at me with a pitying look as she straightened up. “I ate too much!” “Do you want me to roll you to bed?” I asked, and could hardly keep from bursting into laughter at the pitying, angry, judgmental look in response. “Nightmare!.. Argh!..” Princess rolled her eyes. “Villain! If only you ate like everypony instead of doing it prone!..” Yes, I was not afraid of a bit of sibilance, but I had a low table. It was literally a dozen or so centimeters. And I used that to sit behind on poufs and cushions when I was in the mood, taking advantage of the opportunity to eat with my horn without making any unnecessary movements. At first, Cadence was trying to lecture me about it, but I somehow managed to persuade her, and now I was enjoying the indignation. While suffering Princess of love, sighing pitifully, staggered and shuffled from foot to foot, I quickly finished my portion. Then I got rid of the extra dishes, and began to pour the tea, causing the guest a heart-rending groan with a plate of cakes on the table. It seemed that someone was afraid of losing too much in this battle. Form, for example… I chuckled. “I won’t come to see you anymore.” Caddie grumbled hopelessly, settling back down on the cushions along the table. “Try those yellow “baskets” over there, with the pineapple slices. They’re tasty.” I demonstratively recommended in response, feeling a slightly malicious smile spreading across my lips. “You’re unbearable!” Princess rolled her eyes and, with a heavy sigh, leaned closer to the dish, scrutinizing the assortment. “Eat, eat, my friend. And soon you’ll be unbearable as well… And needed and heavy…” I couldn’t hold it and sobbed, nuzzling into a pillow. “Nightmare!!!” Something soft and heavy hit my shoulder. “Sorry-sorry. Kh-h… Of…” I somehow ended the laughter under an angry gaze of the interlocutor, still chuckling a bit. Then I lifted myself up, put my front legs out in a conciliatory gesture, and handed her back the pillow with my telekinesis. “I’ll think about it!” She sulked demonstratively, sniffing unhappily, picking up her returned “weapon”. With a titanic effort I swallowed one more dig. I wanted to advise that it would be better to think with a pastry. I chased it away with warm tea and chewed an eclair, thrown in the mouth whole. We ended the tea in silence. “Listen, Cadence…” I remembered my problem. You irritated me with awkward questions — now it’s my turn! Although, of course, it’s still a very big question for whom these conversations will be more uncomfortable… “M?” “You’re Princess of love, aren’t you? If it’s not a secret — what part of it?..” The question sounded somehow uncertain, with the feeling that I wouldn’t like any answer. “First of all, the love of sweets.” I looked at her gloomily. Kidding. Cadence looked at me with a professional brick face and shifted her gaze to the plate of sweets, that still had something left. “If seriously? Sorry, I mocked you a bit, yes…” I sighed. “I don’t have a clue, honestly.” The alicorn sighed as well, slowing. “I don’t really know the limits of my talents yet. If you want to find out something about… carnal love.” She blushed cutely. “Well, I… know something, sure, but… it’s hard to call me a professional in… that field. But I’ll try.” “I’m…” Damn it, it’s harder than I thought… “I’m… Very attracted… To stallions. Generally, I don’t know what is it and what to do.” I stated in a crumpled way, being silently happy — I said everything and don’t have to say anything more. “Well, it’s a normal thing for a mare to be attracted to stallions.” Cadence looked at me with a doubt and went wordless, awaiting reaction. Kidding. I bit my lip thoughtfully. Damn, should I say her my feelings about stallions? And about mares, and about relationships in general… She’ll try to find this out, damn her… Or maybe even help! Nah, let’s try something without great losses for now. “Well, yes, but the last couple of days I can hardly take my eyes off of them!” Princess raised an eyebrow in surprise. Without waiting for me to continue, she raised a second one. “You… I mean, you don’t understand, really?” “I have guesses.” I moved with a wing indefinably. “I won’t believe in you not having hot days!” “Equalogist had to describe me what “cover” is on my first appointment. Try to argue against that.” “A… Oh…” Alicorn rubbed her forehead perplexedly. “Really?” “My memory got a bad hit, yeah.” “But… Don’t you… Oh… Sorry. It’s awful!” The purple eyes’ gaze was full of sympathy. “Don’t say “awful”, help me — that’d be better.” I grumbled, lowering eyes. I don’t like this way of looking at me… “I will, of course.” Cadence hastened to assure me. “Well, where to begin… You don’t understand what’s going on at all?” “Well, I know something… The main thing for me is when, for how long, and how to fight.” I waved away. “Well… Mostly it’s on an individual basis. For a healthy pony, estrus occurs every month, within two to six days usually. The strength also varies: one does not notice almost, and the other can hardly keep herself in her hooves, but as a rule, there is something in between. In spring, from about April, the estrus stage lasts longer and is more intense, and becomes weaker with the beginning of autumn. How to fight it… Should we fight it? Why?” Shortly answering the questions, Cadence looked at me questioningly at the last point. What kind of a stupid question is that? If I asked — I need to! “It bothers me.” “With the help of your special pony or husband.” Cadence smiled fleetingly. “Or, well… M-m… Special kind of toys - if you understand what I mean. I don’t know of any other ways to deal with arousal. Or, as an option, just be patient — it’s not a big deal, and it doesn’t take long. The “cover” doesn’t go away, does it?” She looked a bit nervous at me. “It doesn’t, I guess.” I waved my wings uncertainly, wishing I’d never gotten into this. Caddie, by all appearances, has quickly ceased to blush, now reasoning with the impartiality of a medic, but I… Shit… “Well, that means everything is alright.” Alicorn smiled. Alright for you! “Maybe… Well… A potion or somethin’, a spell?” “Oh Celestia, why do you need this dirt?!” Princess opened her eyes wide. “I’m sorry, you’re probably just not familiar with these potions… There are potions, yes, but they are for emergencies, when due to pathology the mare literally loses her head these days, turning into a clot of instincts. The disease, fortunately, is very rare, and now there are even opportunities to cure it completely. I think that in twenty years this problem will have been defeated.” “What about the potions?” “So far we’ve had to use them to stop seizures, but honestly, if you ask me, I’d rather just tie up the poor one for a week than give her this toxic thing! The health effects are… deplorable. And, worst of all, it’s addictive.” Alicorn sighed. Well, as always — shit is everywhere. I’m barely surprised. … “And the spells… I’ve only heard of one, but it turns off all emotion, makes the pony… Like not alive.” Cadence shuddered. “After the incident with Dr. Heartless' team, whose name you may know from books on anatomy and especially the anatomy of wings, this spell is forbidden for study and use without the personal permission of Princess Celestia.” “What incident?” There are bad suspicions, given the connection in the same sentence of the spell of emotionlessness and the writing of detailed anatomical handbooks… “I… I don’t want to go further into that topic.” Princess answered a bit sharply, shivering. “And honestly — I don’t have the right to. I’ll just say, that no one died and everything ended good just by a miracle.” “Got it… Sorry.” “Forget it, Nightmare.” Cadence smiled faintly. “So, about my question — suffer only?” “Well… Yes? It may be so difficult for you now from the first, but I think that in time you will stop reacting so acutely to it. Don’t worry, Nightmare, everything will be all right. And if you have any such questions, don’t hesitate to ask, I will always try to help my friend.” She nodded encouragingly at me and began to reluctantly get out of the cushions in an attempt to stand up. “I think I’ll go. I definitively have to make some moves…” “Well, bye. Was happy to see ya.” “Same.” Princess answered back. “Stop by if you get hungry.” I winked, causing a harsh look. “Not funny!” “Come on. It’s so good to mock you.” “Nightmare!..” Alicorn rolled her eyes.…
“Sorry for disturbing you, Great Mother…” Coming in, the thestral said the “Great” part clearly doubtfully — and it was already usual. With some relief, I relaxed and turned my head toward him a little hastily: “What’s the matter?” “You’re… Wanted to be seen. Now.” The muscular, trim guard with an attractive, neat beard, explained evasively. “Who’s there?..” I mumbled under my breath, turning to the tall, exquisitely built unicorn mare, whose chocolate mane was already gleaming with rare gray hair. She got it without words: “I guess we have to postpone our class, Your Grace?” She looked at me a bit questioningly. I nodded. “In this case, I suggest you to get back to the high art of dancing the day after tomorrow.” “Fine. Goodbye — and thanks for the science, Hi.” “I’m glad to help, Your Grace.” The unicorn smiled composedly. “Goodbye.” Accompanying the parting with an elegant and well-judged bow, the torturer-teacher of — God damn it — high art of etiquette, left the hall, accompanied by a suspicious glance of the unexpected visitor. Yes, and how she was streamlined, so as not to make me inadvertently look like an ill-mannered scarecrow in her eyes: “dancing”, not holding a posture or mixing up spoons… Okay. “So… Who needs me so urgently?” I turned my gaze towards the guard. “Queen Celestia.” He chuckled at something, but immediately returned a brick expression on his face. “Why is it so secrete?” I looked away from the visitor with a strain. “You could’ve said that right off the bat.” Tia, yeah… It was expected, though. Even later than I had hoped at the time, when Luna reported that her sister had returned from her trips across the country. “She… very much asked not to be told who was calling.” The guard explained with marked pleasure. “But your desire to know is higher than this, Great Mother.” “So you wouldn’t have told me if I hadn’t asked.” I hummed. “Okay, where’s she waiting? Let’s have a talk.”…
“Nightmare Moon.” The voice of the snowy mare echoed lightly under the high vaults of the palace corridor. “Hello, Princess.” Tia looked like… like she returned from a war — an analogy that somehow begged to be made. Everything looked the same, and nothing has changed, but there was something in her eyes. The shadows beneath them, the reddened eyes filled with fatigue and leaden heaviness — a stark contrast to the kind and full of life eyes, that had captured my soul… I just wanted to come closer and hug her. “I want you to leave Canterlot.” Celestia didn’t choose soft wordings. Harsh… “Is everything that bad?” I asked uncertainly. Her words, of course, is kind of an answer — the dreams got her nerves heavily, but… “I’ve had worse.” She stated plainly. She froze for a moment, sighed and drooped a bit. “Please, Nightmare. I… Me…” The snowy alicorn hesitated. “Go away”, you say… And leave you like that?” I chuckled sadly, decrypting the stumble as a repeat of the request. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror?” “Nothing out of the ordinary is happening to me, no need to worry in vain. I’m just a little more tired than usual. And it hasn’t been the easiest trip, either.” She repeated with pressing, lifting gaze and trying to smile reassuringly. It… Didn’t work out well. Yeah, Tia, I believe you. Believe you wholeheartedly… “Listen…” I sighed and stepped defiantly towards Celestia, deciding to rely on the most reliable mean of support for ponies. “Everything will be alright. Luna will have taught me, we’ll get rid of your nightmares, and then…” “There’s no need, really.” A Princess’ gold-covered shoe bumped into my chest. “I’m alright, really. You are both mistaken if you think that I haven’t had nightmares for the last thousand years. I have dealt with them for dozens of years. I will now, and, in my experience, soon enough.” Tia took her foot away, making sure I wasn’t trying to get any closer, and gave me another smile. Hm… Well, if you will look at it… “Especially since the nightmares aren’t the problem I’m worried of the most.” Princess’ ears faded, she sighed. “Luna’s… Remoteness bothers me a lot more. “ Don’t you say me you threw shit at each other again, ay… “Had a fight?” “No, of course not!” Celestia smiled again. “It’s just… She got in all this studying, that…” Alicorn made an indefinite gesture. “Sorry for my acridity at the start, Nightmare. We saw so little of each other…” “Just come by her more frequently.” I shrugged with wings. “I don’t remember a single time since my arrival. Even now for some reason we’re talking in a hallway instead of going in…” “Alas, but… I’m horrendously short of time nowadays.” Princess sighed, looking away. “And if I go away, it would magically appear…” I mumbled under my breath. “I… Understand your worrying about your sister after all this.” I moved my wing indefinitely. Damn, I still feel as a scumbag… “But I promised you, and I’m not going to change my word: her life is not in danger from my side.” “So you’re refusing? Well, yeah, we’re not friends to help each other!..” Tia said with a kind of angry bitterness. I was a little taken aback. There was no categorical refusal, but it was enough to make her look like a caged tiger. Her mane and tail danced like flames instead of the usual smooth excitement. Her unkindly squinted eyes were as if searching for the right places to hit me. In addition, she remembered my refusal, which seemed to have hurt her, despite her assurances to the contrary. If I… The Abyss… What could I do? “Princess, I…” Celestia closed her eyes, took a few quick breaths. She shuddered, her perfect face distorted for a moment. “I shouldn’t have snapped.” She looked faintly, finally lifting her eyelids. “Nightmare, leave my poor sister and leave Canterlot. I beg you.” I rolled my jaw, staring at the floor. What am I supposed to do? Tia really is strong and experienced, and she can imagine what she’s dealing with, unlike Luna, who tends to over dramatize the threat. There’s no way to check either, because I haven’t gotten any practical results yet — the feeling that “about to” doesn’t make the weather. It’s essentially the word of lying, hysterical Luna versus the word of poised and wise Celestia, who, moreover, I don’t want to let down again. Leave? And if I’m wrong — what happens then? Damn it… I can’t leave. The… sensation rolling around inside me was somehow unrealistically clear and concrete: the threat was real. It meant that if I leave now, there will be trouble for sure. I sighed quietly through teeth. As a pilot’s rule, a decision must be taken quickly and finally, because thinking for a long time in the air battle is a sure road to the grave. You had doubts? Here’s a hint. I’m staying. What’s next, we’ll decide as we go along. “I’m afraid I have to decline it, Princess.” I lifted my head and immediately earned a spiky, relentless gaze. “I’ve been invited here by Her Highness.” I emphasized the title, which is equal to Tia’s. “Princess Luna, and I can leave only when she allows me to. And I… Abyss… Please let me finish my studies, make sure everything is really okay, and I’ll move back to my place in Ponyville to cuddle with Rarity and paint pictures.” Alicorn twitched barely visibly. “As you see, we get along with Luna somehow and…” “Be so.” Tia interrupted me abruptly. “I’ll let you stay, but make no mistake: my trust is not in you, but in my short-sighted sister, who keeps saying the same thing, and whom I do not wish to quarrel again with. But if anything happens to Luna, Nightmare.” Tia said, her face almost point-blank. “I’ll be very disappointed in you.” “Everything will be fine…” I mumbled, feeling my ears flatten against my head as I felt an underlying, frightening stare. There was no trace of the warm pink eyes, that radiated with a mother’s concern in the bottomless purple wells, where the flames danced. “I count on that.” Celestia cut if off abruptly, took a step back and disappeared in a flash of teleportation, leaving me to blink blindly in the middle of the corridor alone. “Goodbye, Princess. I wish you the best…” I said into space, sighing. Nice talk… I’ll have food for thoughts. Abyss, damn it…