Smoldering Cinders

      Then there was silence.       No sounds, no feelings, no thoughts. Cinderpaw’s consciousness wandered in the complete darkness for StarClan knows how long. For some reason, she wished to remain there forever, never returning to her body, never having to open her eyes. But even if Cinderpaw tried to stay in this sweet state of nonexistence, her own body wouldn’t let her do it.       Her senses started coming back to her, one by one. First it was pain. Her side felt like it was burning. Then it was sound. It started with ringing in her ears, but soon enough she could hear the monster’s growl in the distance. The sense of smell returned as well. Once again Thunderpath’s acrid stench hit her nose, but there also was another smell – the scent marks of ShadowClan.       Cinderpaw opened her eyes at once. The first thing she saw were pine trees that casted long shadows on the ground. She was laying on the edge of the Thunderpath, mouse tails away from the territory of the enemy clan. What seemed like eternity for her were just a few seconds.       Cinderpaw tried to get up from the ground. Her heavy paws shook, but obeyed nonetheless. The feeling of burning in her side was still there, but she could cope with that. Aside from bruises from hitting the ground there seemed to be no other injuries on her body. Did Cinderpaw managed to survive the encounter with that huge monster?       No, something wasn’t right. Cinderpaw expected to see StarClan’s hunting grounds when she awoke. She never heard a story about a warrior who fought one of those shiny beasts and survived with just a scratch. No matter how Cinderpaw wanted to believe she was the first to do so, she knew it wasn’t what actually happened. The answer to this mystery could be hiding somewhere in her memories, and she was afraid to find it.       But there was no going back into the darkness now. Cinderpaw ignored the uneasy feeling that was building up in her stomach and started to remember what happened in the last few seconds. With every memory she got closer to the truth, step by step. Someone stalked her in the forest, Cinderpaw unknowingly ran into the middle of Thunderpath, and the monster charged at her from behind. She remembered a scream, an impact, the hard ground. But whose scream was that? No sound could escape Cinderpaw’s mouth back then. It was impossible to make out what the scream was because of the monster’s yowl, but Cinderpaw could swear she heard it before. Then something slammed in her shoulder. But how could the monster hit her shoulder when it attacked from her back?       Fighting with growing fear, Cinderpaw slowly turned around. She begged StarClan for her guess to be wrong. Never ever she wanted her intuition to lie to her like now. But it didn’t. To her own horror, she was right.       On the opposite end of the Thunderpath, the last rays of sunshine gently touched the motionless heap of fur, giving it the color of bright flame.       “Fireheart!”       Cinderpaw immediately forgot how heavy her paws were and rushed to her friend, clearing the Thunderpath in seconds. The feeling of dread gripped her heart. Her mentor ignored her call, even his ears didn’t move to the sound of his name. Fireheart body remained still.       Cinderpaw slowed down. The terrible feeling raised from stomach to her chest, making it hard for her breath to escape. Fireheart’s eyes were close, a stream of blood run from his open jaw. Cinderpaw couldn’t make herself look at his front paw, twisted at such unnatural angle and glistening with blood. A little over a moon ago Lionheart, Cinderpaw’s father, laid still on the main clearing just like that, ignoring the kits calling his name.       “Fireheart, please, get up!”       Ignoring her fear, Cinderpaw lunged at him and begun licking him intensively. Soon Fireheart will open his eyes, jump on his paws, then he will scold her for her foolishness and together they will head to the camp. But that didn’t happen, no matter how much Cinderpaw hoped it would. The only response she got was the growl of another monster, charging past them in a fox tail length behind her. Staying on the path wasn’t safe. Cinderpaw forced herself to grab Fireheart’s scruff with her teeth and started to slowly pull him away from the Thunderpath, back to the grounds of their clan. Though he wasn’t as big as an adult warrior, Fireheart still was quite heavy for her.       Out of the corner of her eyes Cinderpaw saw a silhouette with broad shoulders appear from the mist, but she couldn’t force her gaze away from her mentor, whose head now dangled limply from her jaws. The obedience with which his body dragged on the ground made her uneasy. He didn’t resist to this at all. Every step they made left a blood trail on the grass. Finally, Cinderpaw let his body fall back to earth.       She leaned toward Fireheart’s face. His eyes were still close, the blood wouldn’t stop flowing from his mouth. With every beat of her heart Cinderpaw’s confidence was slipping away. This shouldn’t have happened! If only she didn’t leap on the Thunderpath, if only she wasn’t in such a hurry, if only she turned back, if only she stayed at camp, if only she listened to him, if only…       “Please, forgive me. I promise I will do everything you say! I won’t disobey you again, I swear! Just, please, wake up,” the panic grew in Cinderpaw with each word. Could her friend already be hunting with their ancestors? “Please, don’t— Just don’t leave me, alright, just don’t…”       There was no response. Her quiet pleadings were only interrupted by occasional sobs, until eventually a loud wail broke out from her throat. She could do nothing to stop it. It wasn’t real, it couldn’t be, it was just a bad dream. All of this should’ve been prevented. Why didn’t Cinderpaw stay at camp, why didn’t she listen to her friend? Now only one thought was repeating itself in her head over and over again, refusing to leave her alone.       “You killed your mentor, Cinderpaw.”