Chapter Six: Preparing for a Date
November 19, 2023 at 3:56 AM
β Let's go first!... That is, you want to set up a date for me with the Dominator on the planet Bubbles-Moxis... You were also able to convince her to do this, to arrange a meeting for us, so that we could be alone, just talk and got to know each other better. β Hayter asked.
β That's what I say. To win her love for you, you must open up to her from the other side... So that she sees you as attractive and does not resist you... If only you knew what nasty things she thinks about you, hating and almost cursing you, in while you still love her! - explained Wander.
β I didnβt even know about it... I didnβt even think about it. β the skeleton changed his suspicion to sadness, and then smiled. β And she will really love me if I reveal myself to her differently than I appear in my heart. In the sense of not being big and scary, who I always am, but namely that... β at first he grimaced slightly with his skull, pretending that he was going to vomit, and he was trying to hold back the vomiting within himself.
β Kind, polite and like an honest gentleman. β finished the saffron milk cap and the skeleton answered him:
β Yep, that's what I meant. β he said and untied the saffron milk cap from the table. β Well. Consider that I was able to convince you. At least this time I won't kill you.
β Hey Hey! Remember our agreement! I help you get closer to Domi, after which I promise not to pester you both anymore, and you will no longer grumble, scream or hunt us. β the weirdo said sternly, looking into the eyes of the skeleton that he was a little scared of him.
β Okay, okay, whatever you say. β he just said this and immediately pulled out his hand from his back, showing his middle and index fingers crossed, thereby showing his lie in the oath. β O! Cross your fingers!
Wander could not stand it, grabbed Hayter by the edges of his red hood and pulled him towards his already evil gaze, after which he hissed through his teeth.
β Iβll tear off these two fingers for you if you ever dare to deceive me again, you bony schmuck. β he snapped and let go of the skeleton, and the latter was in questioning shock. Then he smiled and said:
β And Iβm already starting to like you, Wander. I have never seen you so angry, serious and scary before. I always thought that you could only infuriate and annoy me.
β Let's talk about this another time! Remember our agreement and go get ready. I will be waiting for you both along with Domi on the planet Bubbles-Monkeys.
β Agreed! - the skeleton answered and again extended his hand, this time in the form of a palm. This time he didn't lie to him anymore. β O! Palm!
When Here-And-There left the torture room and left the skull ship itself, Hayter, left alone in the torture room, frowned and began to talk to himself, walking from wall to wall:
β What impudence... Inviting me... Lord Hater... The greatest conqueror of the entire galaxy... And at the same time forcing me to change and show myself from the other side, who I really am not... And without even warning me in advance. And I wonβt be able to go today. My days are full of my personal affairs. - He said and went to his bedroom. Having reached his room, he takes out his huge book with a to-do list, flips through it and reads it out loud: βHere!β At noon I feel sorry for myself. At twelve thirty, they continue to search for and capture new planets, as well as scare their inhabitants. At four o'clock I stare into a bottomless abyss. At four thirty, I review the list of ratings again, in case someone has overtaken me. At five o'clock I'm solving the problem of world hunger, don't tell anyone about it! Charging at five thirty. At six thirty, advice from Peepers and all patrols to capture the planets, it cannot be canceled again at the request of the commander. At seven o'clock the struggle with self-contempt. At seven thirty, dinner with yourself, no need to cancel it!... Although... Considering that I am invited to a restaurant, I can have dinner there, and not alone. Therefore, dinner with yourself in general can be canceled for the sake of this, so as not to overeat... Also, if I put aside self-contempt, then I would then have time to return to the skull ship and sleep, so that I can sleep well and get up early tomorrow, but.. What should I wear?
β Put it on? Are you going somewhere, sir? β he immediately heard the voice of Peepers, who entered his bedroom.
β Yes, Peepers. I've been invited somewhere and I don't know what to wear. Maybe you can help me with this? You're smart.
β Well, in general, Iβm smart in terms of military strategy, but... In general, I can help with shells. β the commander explained, and the lord corrected him:
β With outfits, not shells! β he corrected him, smiling.
β Well, that's what I said. β answered the commander.
Lord Hayter at this time looked at his table with a cup of tea on the table and removed the tablecloth from the table, while the dishes fell to the floor and broke.
β Oh! I don't understand how the French do it. β he said to himself, took off his red and black robe and wrapped the tablecloth around his waist. Then he looked in the mirror. Peepers, looking at him like this, just closed his eye and hit his upper eyelid with his palm. β This is not a skirt at all, Peepers, but a kilt! β he answered him and took off the tablecloth, showing black and long shorts. Then he opened the closet and climbed inside, throwing out all his matching robes with hoods. β Monotonous, too big, too small, too embarrassing, too old, too expensive, not fashionable, stupid, not beautiful, dirty. I donβt understand what I should wear to the galaxy? If I don't find something decent, I won't go anywhere.
And suddenly they heard someone singing loudly on top of the skull of the skull ship itself. This green-skinned little girl, wearing exactly the same hat as Toot-I-Tam and judging by her head a little like the Dominator, was loudly singing about herself into a megaphone. From the top of the skull, behind her, a hatch opened and a stick with a hook appeared, which reached out to her, grabbed her by the neck and pulled her inside the ship itself. Lord Hayter looked at this stranger and asked her:
β Who are you, pretty child? β he asked her, smiling, so as not to scare her away, and she answered:
β My name is Emmy. You'll forgive me for making a noise here on your roof. This is my first time in your galaxy. I'm looking for my friend, whom everyone calls double plagiarism. But I got a little lost.
β Hm. You remind me a little of someone. β here, by the way, he wasnβt lying, because with her character, behavior and hat she resembled the same Here-I-Tama, and at the same time she herself looks like the Dominator. Only as tall as Tut-I-Tama, sheβs dwarfed. β Listen, wonβt you help the poor skeleton? That is, for me!
β Well, of course, uncle. What should I do to you? β she asked and the commander himself is responsible for the lord:
βYou will not help our lord choose what to wear. He was invited somewhere, and if he doesnβt choose what to wear, then unfortunately he wonβt go anywhere.
β Why didnβt you tell me right away? I am a craftswoman in the most beautiful and wonderful outfits. First, I have to measure you. β she said and took a ruler from her hat. Walking around the skeleton, crawling over it like a spider and tickling the skeleton a little, making him laugh a little, she measured him. β Yes! The size is clear and now we will choose an outfit for you. Which one do you prefer?
β M-m-m-m... β the skeleton became thoughtful, lightly poking himself on the chin with his right index finger. β Something varied, fashionable and so that the girl would be shocked with joy when she sees me as a gentleman.
β Then I think this will suit you better! β she said, taking out a large red tuxedo from her hat, the size of the skeleton itself. Hayter took it in his hands, changed his clothes and looked at himself in the mirror in this red outfit with a black tie that was tied in a bow tie. β O! Elegantly! That's it, I'm not going! Thanks for your help, babe. You can go on your own, because you are free!
β HOORAY!!! This is my first time in this galaxy and I still helped someone. β Emmy was delighted and left the skull ship.
β Sir, but if you like the suit, then why donβt you go anyway? β asked the commander. The Lord, in turn, thought for a moment and said:
β Fine! Iβll drop by for a couple of minutes so that the girl will admire her, Iβll just have dinner with her, say a couple of extra compliments in her direction and immediately come back. β he said and went to the hatch, and Peepers followed him.
β Sir, on what planet were you planning to meet?
β On the planet Bubbles Mogilus. β again he gave the name of the planet incorrectly, but Peepers understood what planet he was talking about.
β O! So we are just flying on the surface of this very planet and planning to capture it next. - said the commander.
β Okay, then Iβll jump off the hatch right now. Don't take over this planet just yet until I return! β the skeleton ordered and the big-eyed one saluted:
β Yes, sir. While you are away, we will fly to capture another planet.
Having reached the hatch in the form of the teeth of the skull ship and stood on the platform in the form of a tongue, Hayter stopped and turned around, thinking out loud:
β What if this is a cruel joke? An insidious trick? Wow, Here-And-There, scoundrel!... Okay, I'm going. But I won't be late. β he declared, raising his left index finger, and then bending and unbending it, he argued for a long time with himself: β No-yes-no-yes-no-yes-no-yes-no-yes-no-yes-no. Grrr... How difficult it is to think for yourself and decide what to do... Well-o-o... It seems not... Well, that's it, I made a decision. I'm going, period! β He stated directly and looked at his right hand, which he hid behind his back, fingers crossed. β O! Cross my fingers!
The skeleton did not even notice that the commander had managed to quietly sneak to the lever and open the hatch. Suddenly the wind blew outward from the ship and the skeleton itself was pulled there in the wind, after which it flew down with a scream to the surface of the planet Bubbles-Monkeys. Then Peepers closed the hatch and, saluting, said out loud:
β Have a nice trip, sir!
