𝐋𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐇𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞

      The blue star slowly rose over the blue planet and a bright morning came, whose rays of light slowly penetrated through the windows into the interior of the Dominator's ship. Including the Dominator’s bedroom. Here-And-There woke up first, lifting his eyelids over his eyes as rays of light began to fall on his eyes. The red monkey woke up, yawned, opening its mouth very wide, stretched its clenched hands into fists upward from its body and looked around. The Dominator was still lying nearby, and without a helmet. The helmet itself was placed on the nightstand, next to the phone. And the villain continued to sleep and smile in her sleep. Apparently she dreams of something good or something that she likes. The weirdo decided not to wake her up, letting her sleep, and at that time he slowly crawled out of his own hat with his torso and legs, and put the hat on his head. Then he jumped off the bed and tiptoed to the exit of the bedroom. As soon as he left, a bot met him on the way and grabbed him, mistaking him for a prisoner trying to escape. He grabbed him with a lava tentacle and was about to drag him back to the bedroom, when the weirdo spoke to him: — No, no, stop! Please! Don't wake Domi, she's still sleeping! Have pity on your... Commanders-in-Chief! The bot scratched the top of its iron head with another tentacle and said: — So be it! I'll wait until Lord Dominator gets enough sleep and wakes up. In the meantime, you will be under my personal supervision. — Really? — asked Here-And-There, smiling. — I'm a bot. Robots never lie because they are not programmed to do so. — the bot explained to him and released the weirdo, putting him on the floor. — Then will you come with me? — the saffron milk cap asked the bot, and he answered the question with a question: — Where? — How to where? To the planet next to which we fly. Let's go to the store together and buy some food to prepare your lady breakfast so she can have a hearty meal when she wakes up. — The answer is negative. — the bot answers. — Lord Dominator forbids us to take prisoners out of the flagship and away from it at a distance of more than three meters. — Oh please! Be a good bot! — the weirdo got down on his knees and grabbed each other’s hands, begging the bot to do as he asked. — The answer is negative. You are our prisoner and we cannot let you go so easily. Wander began to play tricks at that moment. — So I’m not a prisoner at all. I'm a guest. Otherwise why would your Domi pull me out of the cell yesterday and take me with her to the bedroom. Because I'm no longer a prisoner. Understand? — Are you trying to fool me? — the bot asked with suspicion, and Wander begins to smile and calmly answer, while hiding his right hand with his fingers in a cross behind his back. — Of course no. If I were really lying and wanted to deceive you, then I would be more likely to be nervous. And so I am completely calm. — You can't fool me. Lord Dominator installed lie detectors for each of us. My program scanned that you are lying now. Wander sighed heavily and turned away for a second, whispering to himself: — Why are robots always so stubborn and never mean well? I didn’t want this, but apparently things will turn out badly, because he’s forcing me. — You know that I can hear you perfectly well, right? What are you up to? — it was in vain that the bot asked him about it. The weirdo, like a mad monkey, pounced on him and began crawling like a spider over his spherical body. He tried to reach it with his lava tentacles, but he could not grab it and remove it. At that moment, the weirdo found a compartment in the bot, opened it and removed the flash drive with the program from the input. The bot immediately froze in place. Here-And-There then took off his hat and took out a laptop, to which he connected a flash drive. — So! Let's see! We will delete this program code, this one too, and just change this one. Like this. Let's change a couple of codes and delete some to turn him from impudent to polite and from evil to kind. Plus, we will install a special virus that I personally created manually, so that this change in all program codes will also be transmitted to the rest of the bots on Domi’s flagship. So. So. Ready! — Having finished reprogramming, he turns off the laptop and puts it back in the hat, and reinserts the flash drive into the bot itself. He began to move again and turned to the weirdo, asking him: — How can I serve you, dear guest? — Let me, together with you, under your supervision, go down to the surface of this planet and go to the store to buy food and prepare breakfast for your Domi before she wakes up. — As you order, sir! — The bot saluted the left lava tentacle, put the right one on the weirdo’s shoulder and walked with him in an embrace, towards the exit of the flagship. They went to the hatch, Here-And-Tam took off his green hat and, taking out a can of orcloud juice, formed an orcloud bubble around himself and the bot, after which they left the flagship in this very bubble and flew to the surface of the planet. There they found a small village, where fortunately there was a market where they sold all the freshest and most delicious food. Moreover, the bot accompanying the weirdo didn’t bother anyone. Therefore, they could calmly walk around the market among the crowd, without causing anyone embarrassment or panic. All they needed to find and buy were eggs, ham, bread, jam, butter and tea. Fortunately, there were several shops on the market that sold all this. What seemed to be the problem? Buy and run! But the trouble is that Tut-I-Tam had no money. Usually his friend Sylvia paid for everything, but he had nothing to pay with. — My. Grob , I don’t have the money to buy all this! What should I do? — he thought out loud. — Maybe we’ll rob them and threaten them with death so that they give up either their lives or eggs, ham, bread, jam, butter and tea.” — the bot suggested, to which the redhead was against it and objected: — WHAT ARE YOU??? You can’t do this to them, they are not to blame for anything. This is their job. They earn money for the sake of their families. There must be some other way out to somehow get the money, so as not to upset anyone or hurt anyone, and only then buy everything honestly. — Can we rob someone? We will threaten them to give up either their money or their lives. — the bot suggested, but Here-And-There was again against it: — DO NOT EVEN THINK!!! You cannot harm innocent people and customers, much less rob or threaten them! — Okay. Suggest your own method? - asked the bot and the weirdo began to think, scratching his chin. — M-m-m-m... What can we come up with? — Mom, look, it’s him! Tumbleweed Field! — He immediately heard the familiar voice of one boy. He turned around and saw the same boy run up to him and hug him. — Billy! I'm glad to see you too! — said Wander and returned the boy's hug. At that moment his mother came up. — Hello, Tumbleweed. So you were the one who saved my son's life two months ago when he was almost caught in an avalanche? — she asked him, smiling. — Yes it's me. But not alone. My faithful friend was with me, but for now we were temporarily separated. — I don’t even know how to thank you. — she said. Here-And-There immediately removed his smile and lowered his head. — I really don’t want to ask you for anything, but I have a not big problem. I came here to buy myself eggs, ham, bread, jam, butter and tea. But I remembered that I had no money, because usually my friend always paid for everything for me. But I don’t want to rob anyone, beg someone or steal, because I am an honest citizen. Can you advise me what to do in such a difficult situation? — Mom, let's help him, since he saved my life? Let us thank him for one thing. — Certainly. — the mother bent down and took out a barrel organ. — Can you play a musical instrument? — You offend! — the weirdo smiled and took out a banjo from his hat. — And I play on my tummy. — the bot answers and patted his stomach with his tentacles, imitating the sounds of a drum. A musical group of mother, son, bot and weirdo gathered and started playing funny songs. The son played the pipe, the mother played the organ with a beautiful melody, the bot drummed on its belly, and Here-And-Tam played the banjo. Passers-by and sellers at the market paid attention to the musicians who were playing and recognized the weirdo himself among them. — LOOK, IT'S THE SAME TOWELS!!! — someone shouted. Everyone admired the musicians thanks to the saffron milk saffron himself and threw them a wad of money. They divided all the money collected, mother and son took their half, and the weirdo and the bot took their half, which was fair. Afterwards they separated, and most importantly, now Tut-I-Tam was able to buy himself eggs, ham, bread, jam, butter and tea. As it turned out, there was no need to pay a lot for them, because there was still a little money left in stock. But the most important thing is that everyone bought, the sellers and other passers-by in the market were happy and satisfied. After all, this is precisely what Tut-I-Tam most often achieves.

A little bit later

      When they returned to the flagship, a huge hyper-bot stood in the way and wanted to grab the weirdo, but the bot accompanying him managed to transmit his new program via airborne telecommunications and enter it into it. The hyper bot froze and removed the tentacle. — How can I be of assistance, dear prisoner? — he asked the redhead, and he answered: — No, nothing! Just do the same thing as always! — I understand you! I return to guarding the flagship. — the bot salutes and leaves. — Tell me, where is your kitchen? — asked the weirdo, and the bot put him on his head and silently went where he needed to go. After walking through several corridors, they came to the kitchen. — Kitchen, sir! — Thank you! Getting off the bot's head, the weirdo first took out the largest frying pan and began to fry eggs and ham in sunflower oil. — They look delicious. It's just a pity that they aren't green. — said the bot. — What are you talking about? — I didn’t understand Here-And-There the bot’s answer. — No, not about anything! — the bot excused himself and left the kitchen, leaving the weirdo here alone with himself. — Why do they have to be green? This must be disgusting. Well, you never know, what if they are poisonous and you can’t eat them? — the weirdo said about eggs and ham out loud to himself.

At the same time

      The villainess herself woke up, having forgotten even that today she slept with her captive in her own bed. She stood up, stretched, opened her mouth wider and went to wash herself in the shower in the morning. After the shower, she comes out of the bathroom wearing a white robe and a towel on her head. She just put on her outfit, as always, consisting of striped socks, white sneakers, a long black skirt with a slit for her right leg, a black mask with a red spot in the shape of a holey heart, spiked shoulder pads, yellow gloves and the horned helmet itself in the shape of yellow lightning bolts. In this form, she went to the kitchen, and on the way she felt a supply of tasty treats. — "Strange! I don't remember programming my bots to make me breakfast. I usually do this myself.” — she thought in her thoughts and moved on. She became curious about what they had in store. Entering the kitchen, she widened her eyes, shocked by who exactly was preparing her breakfast in her kitchen. — You? Wander turned around and saw her, smiled: — O! Good morning! Woke up already? — Yes, but I don’t understand what are you doing here? And... And what are you cooking for me there? — Eggs and ham, and tea and sandwiches with butter on the table. — explained the weirdo. She, of course, was not happy that he did this, and without her permission, he burst into the kitchen while she was sleeping and prepared her breakfast himself. But you can't argue with a belly that's hungry. Now eating was more important. Having sat comfortably at the table, she began to cut herself a slice of bread and spread it with butter. The hot tea, which was nearby in a black mug with exactly the same heart as on the Dominator’s chest, had already cooled down a little. — Ready! — says the redhead, puts the eggs and ham on a plate and places it in front of the villainess. — Bon appetit! Domi sat silently and hesitated a little in her thoughts. She really wanted to tell him “Thank you!” However, her decided to remain silent and not say that. Moreover, this is not villainous. — And who will say “Thank you!” for you? Donald Trump? — he asked her, and while she was eating, she managed to take out the remote control and turn on the TV in the kitchen, where they showed an interview with President Trump from Earth, where he says: — Thank you, people! And then she knocks off TV, remains silent and eats him. — A! I understand that you just started eating, and you can’t talk with your mouth full and while you’re eating. This is right. Okay! Thank you later! — said the weirdo and poured his cup of tea, making himself his own sandwich. Domi looked at him sternly, but then got distracted and continued eating breakfast, silently cursing him for such kindness that he was trying to impose on her.