For the love of Mike

flashback

      Hospital ward. A pale, dark-haired girl is lying on a bed, slowly waking up. She hadn’t blinked once, her face twitched and she felt as tired, as if running a long distance. Alexandra got up, took the laptop from the nearby bedside table, placed it on her lap and opened.       Leukemia. For almost five years. Countless drips, painkillers, that seemed to be useless. Laptop was the only life-saving medicine – Alexandra could watch serials, anime, read manga or novels. Oh, she also used to listen to music and sing along, but now even it doesn’t please or help to make our girl happier anymore. It was hard to see the fading smile and sloppy movements in the mirror.       When you get caught up in someone else's story, yours is likely to be putted aside. Alexandra was supposed to finish the "Tokyo Revengers" manga today, but the new chapter still hasn’t come out. She closed the laptop, making sure there were no eye-catching updates for now and leaned back on the pillow.       Remembering the previous life, she thought about what she could’ve done with her future if she hadn't had this disease, blamed and scolded for her huge ambitions, for the desire to achieve something, to become someone special. But here she is, five years of consecutive witnessing people’s death; people she knew well when she could still walk on her own. Now Alexandra is no longer surprised by news about other people’s deaths, but sarcastically expects her own. Very soon the bony one will take everyone away. Maybe this will be her salvation?       The nurse came in, throwing a short glance of indifference and changed the drip which is usually done at seven in the morning. Suddenly burning pain occurred in the vein, lungs started spasming and Alexandra burst into cough. Thick hot blood flowed rapidly from her mouth down the chin and neck, staining the sheet. The nurse, who hadn’t left yet, was terrified and tried to do something, waving her hands, but the girl no longer saw anything. Did she feel that way because of the effect of the drug that was going through the vein, or was it just a coincidence, but… Looks like this was the end. Max's face appeared in the memories, making her smile with the corners of her lips, and she closed her eyes, suppressing the cough and letting the cold embrace her body. This decision seemed to be the best way out. If this was the freedom everyone was talking about, Alexandra was ready to accept it honourably.

the end of flashback

      I don't know how much time has passed, but the obscuring darkness would not allow any light to penetrate. Deafening silence, and only self-awareness kept me from dissolving into that sticky oblivion. It was a feeling of desperation and loss of heart, my mind was about to sink into this filthy maelstrom.       What i hate the most is the feeling when i can’t control my body, my emotions, and surroundings. I remembered waking up after a long reanimation, so close to the current state... Numbness, head spinning, I couldn't move any limbs. Or maybe they just weren't there.       Finally, everything started to become clear. The sense akin to everlasting nightmare, resulting in my consciousness, gradually breaking free from the clutches of Morpheus. Honestly, the reality was no better. I was that much weak that couldn’t even move a single muscle. However, the cold floor and draught made to wonder where I was and why I was shivering all over.       With my swollen eyelids open, I managed to gradually focus on surrounding area. An odd floor of big rectangles appeared before. A little later i realized that it was “tatami”; modest knowledge about Japanese culture, forsaken on the edge of my skull, made me a favor. The room had a bid window, next to it was a small table and closet. Slowly standing up, I examined my legs and arms… they were so tiny, like a baby's, so soft to the touch. But there were a lot of bruises, yellow and bright-purple. I guess, that’s how painful memories look like.       Well, I still don’t understand where I am, but this is reminds me a lot of transmigration of souls and other similar devilry. In any case, if this is my second chance to live a normal life… this would be amazing, no, wonderful. It looks like I'm in the body of a very small girl, a possibility to start over. First of all, I need to investigate this place and find out if I have a family.       I left the room, glanced around the mid-range corridor and saw the ladder to the top. Oh, despite the dilapidation at home, being here, by the looks of things, seems to be not so bad. Shame to complain. I went upstairs and saw a door. As I approached it, I heard some sort of vulgar noises: moaning and the bed creaking. Damn, someone was definitely having sex… This is the first time I have been in this situation, so why not to take a look? A silly thing to do, but it all could be chalked up to childish curiosity, which would absolutely bound to be inherent in this young child.       No sooner had I opened the door than I heard it creak, which made me worried, but I could always pretend to be a child, couldn't I? Everything went quiet, and just as I was about to push the door again, it suddenly opened in front of me. A scary and sweaty man was standing there, smelling of alcohol and something musty, and he was only wearing his underwear. — What the fuck, Naoki? Who the hell is this kid? he said, turning around to the room. The answer was: — Just nothing, honey. Come back to me... The man grabbed my hair, made my head tilt backwards and leaned over, breathing fumes straight into my face: — If I see you next to this door again, you'll have to join us, bitch. Now get the fuck out of here. The sharp shove he gave me sent me flying, tumbling down the stairs. God only knew how I managed to grab the railing. A hard lump formed in my throat, my chest burning with pain and resentment, while my cheeks were treacherously covered with dripping tears. I hope this is a mistake and there's no connection between me and this asshole. Barely out of bed, I rushed downstairs and came into the first room I woke up in. It was snowing. The snowflakes danced slowly in the breeze and gently accumulated on the snowy ground. I was so mesmerised by this scene that the tears that were dripping down my face cooled and I pulled myself together.       Run away. Get out of this madhouse. This was the only thought in my head… or not mine anymore? I broke away from staring at the window, opened a closet filled with worn out rags and oversized jumper, which I decided to put on, before running out into the corridor. There was a nightstand by the front door and children’s shoes around, in which my feet immediately jumped into.       After turning the latch, the door has finally opened. A cold breeze hit my face. I took a deep breath – oh, the feeling of freedom. Slamming the door, I raced somewhere along the sidewalk. Quickly melting snowflakes fell down on my cheeks and lips, leaving behind nothing but barely perceptible moisture. There were no passers-by, the sky was impetuously getting darker and darker, and i felt a sense of unease. This district seemed to be a little derelict but there were small houses lining the road around the perimeter.       I stopped and closed my eyes. And now what? You are standing in completely unknown place, where anyone can get into trouble by stupidity. Probably I can walk down this street near the home and come back, that man is going to leave soon, i guess. People like him don’t stay long. And that woman… Naoki? Hm, Japanese name. She seems to know me. I turned back to look at barely visible house that “belongs to me” and noticed a playground across the road.       I didn’t cross, I heard the noise of motorcycles. There was definitely not one or two of them. Scared, I started to run faster, but stumbled. Luck was never on my side. The bikes were getting closer, blinding with headlights. Damn it! I forced myself to stand up and on shaky legs made a dash to the beginning of the curb. To my wonder, those bikers, who seemed to be so close, were no longer riding at the incredible speed as appeared. They stopped beside me.       They were young guys about seventeen. The headlights continued to blind me and I covered my eyes, afraid to make a single step. What do they need anyway? — Sano, what’s the matter? — asked one of them. This Sano as it turned out, got off the bike and responded: — A child. Seems like she is lost. Wait here, — he approached me, squatted down and gave a warm smile. — Are you lost, little girl?       I took a look at his weird haircut and signed, feeling calm. — No, just went out for a walk, — not sure this sounded convincingly. The guy narrowed his eyes suspiciously. — The little one, did you run away, huh? So, show me where you live, I'll see you out, — and got up, to say goodbye to the rest of his people. — That’s all for today, guys. Meeting will be tomorrow, at the same time at our place. — Hai! — guys responded and flew away with a menacing roar of engines down the road. Sano looked back at me again, took off his black jacket and threw it over my shoulders. Despite the fact that I was wearing a sweater that was pretty soaked due to the snowfall, I gratefully accepted his gesture, wrapping myself in it like a blanket. — Well, tell me everything, little one, — he chuckled.       The guy parked his bike and moved to the playground. I was supposed to follow him and I actually did. There was something vaguely familiar and related about this Sano.

***

— It turns out you were hit by an unknown jerk and then you ran away to wait until he leaves? I nodded and lowered my eyes, watching the snow crystals fall onto to the pavement. Sano continued: — Yeah, kid, your life is screwed up… what’s your name anyway?       I replied without thinking, still staring at the snowflakes: — Takahashi Haruka, — suddenly realizing of absolute misunderstanding where I got this name and why it was pronounced so correctly. — I see… I’m Sano. Sano Shinichiro.