Am I a Negro?

      For the umpteenth time, a super-fast hedgehog and a braggart, who considers himself a perfect form of life, competed and argued which of them was cooler. After running through the forest, they started arguing again. — No, you're faker! — says the black-scarlet one, folding his arms over his chest. — I hear it from faker. What I don’t tell you, you always change everything only in your favor, just to denigrate me. Sonic replied, extending his arms and waving his palms slightly. — You started first. Everyone knows that I'm the coolest. Sonic immediately could not stand it, grabbed his needles on his head and, like hair, trying to tear them off his head, he begins to freak out: — GRA-A-A-A-A-ARGH... You're not a ultimate life form! When will you finally understand this? There is no one more ultimate in the universe. And you’re already tired of it bragging to everyone left and right. — Having spoken, he began to imitate him: — I am a ultimate life form! I am more ultimate than anyone in the world, and you are all zero compared to me. I am ultimate life form! — Hey! — Shadow was indignant. — I don’t talk like that at all. — Talk! — Sonic replied, confirming his words. — No not talk! — Shadow continued to insist on his own. — What do you mean no? Stopen to lie already! You brag like that to everyone. Do you think that you are God and all of Mobius revolves around you alone? Are all for you toys? — Look at yourself! — Shadow snapped back. — You and I are different in color and not at all alike, but you dare to compare me with you and call me faker. And the first. I only call you that in response if you don’t understand. And you still think we're the same. Yes, I'm not at all like you. Because you walk everywhere and shine with your blue color, which already hurts my eyes. I don't want to see you with that color anymore. Sonic widened his eyes at what he heard and asked indignantly: — What are you, a racist? — WE... Be... — black-and-scarlet wanted to curse, raising his right fist, but he could barely restrain himself and throw up a new scandal: — WHAT THE HELL AM I A RACIST??? I'M TRYING TO PROVE TO YOU THAT WE ARE DIFFERENT SO THAT YOU STOP CALLING ME A FAKER'S, FAKER!!! — YOU STARTED FIRST, FAKER!!! — Sonic shouted immediately. — You are furious and screaming on me, like a black man with white skin! Here Shadow still wanted to shout something, but chose to remain silent for now. Of course, he has heard about blacks and knows who they are, but to compare him to blacks because he has black needles? This is more of a sign of racism. After all, Shadow himself, despite his black needles, actually has peach skin color. Although only his muzzle is shown as peach. Otherwise, it is still covered with red stripes. This is not a reason to compare him with blacks. From what he heard, his eyes bulge out and he thinks. — Shadow? — Sonic turned to him and did not understand why he suddenly fell silent. — Are you not in the mood?...Shadow?...Shadow, don't be silent! You're scaring me! — Am I scaring you? — finally say Shadow. — Well, of course, I’m a Negro, as you called me. Do blacks really scare you? Yes? Probably the only racist here, among the two of us, is you, Sonic. After he has said this, he turns his back to the blue hedgehog and leaves. — Come on, Shadow! Shadow! I just said that out of anger! I didn't mean to offend you! But the black and scarlet one ignored the blue one and moved on. Sonic was already clutching his head and hissing at himself through his teeth: — What a fool I am! How could I even blurt this out! My mother was right in telling me that I should keep my mouth shut. Shadow goes and walks with his head down and thinks: — "He is not right! I'm not bragging at all! And I'm not racist at all! And what’s more, I’m not a Negro at all!... Or am I still a Negro? Unclear! It seems that they call me black, and blacks are also sometimes called black. Does it mean that I, too, am still a Negro? Maybe False... So, is Sonic right? Apparently I was right to leave with resentment. Moreover, some blacks, as I heard, do not like the fact that white people call them that. Although they sometimes call themselves that for some reason. Why do these stupid African-Americans call themselves a word that, on behalf of the Americans, is considered offensive to them? And the fact that they are prohibited from calling them that is not freedom of speech at all, but a ban on it. In stupid America, everything is generally not the same as they lie about it and praise it in vain. In any case, for some reason I was offended by Sonic when he called me a black man. Which means I am still a Negro. Maybe it’s better this way?” While he was thinking about this and walking, he did not notice how he bumped into Silver, who was carrying purchases from the store. In a collision with the ULF, he dropped them, but managed to grab them near the ground with the help of psychokinesis and hold them. — Shadow, be careful! Don't you see that I'm walking here and don't even see the road? — Sorry, Silver. — Shadow apologized and moved on. Silver didn't recognize him. After all, Shadow is usually always gloomy and insists on his own, but here it’s as if he was replaced with a copy with a different character. — What's wrong with you, Shadow? Who hurt you? — Sonic. — Shadow answered. — For what? What did he do to you? Won against you in a racing race? — No. — Called you boastful? — Nope. I mean, yes, but that’s not what I was offended by. — And for what? The fact that he calls you faker? He’s always been like this since that very first meeting with you. Just deal with it and forgive him! — What does this have to do with it? — Shadow stopped and decided to explain: — Sonic called me a black man. — That's all? — Silver asked, to which Shadow nodded hesitantly. The psychokineticist laughed and slapped himself in the knees. Having placed all the purchases neatly on the path with psychokinesis, the white hedgehog approaches the black and scarlet one and begins to calm him down: — Shadow, Sonic didn’t say that on purpose. He rather gave this as an example. There is nothing so offensive or offensive about the word “Negro”. It's just a stupid word for even a person who was peachy but tanned too long and turned brown, like those people who live most often in Africa. What is more offensive is that they are portrayed as too black and with huge destructive powers. It’s understandable to be offended by all this, but to be offended by an ordinary word is stupid. — Easy for you to say, Silver! You're not like me. Not black. — Come on, Shadow! Well, how black are you? I mean, yes, your needles are black, but with red hues and stripes. Otherwise, you're not black at all. Look at your face! — psychokineticist takes out a mirror from one of the shopping bags and shows his reflection in it. — What color is it? — Um... Peach? — Right. What is my face like? At first, Shadow was silent, looking at his face and comparing their colors. However, he then answers hesitantly: — Same. — Here you go! There is no difference between us. Essentially, even though your needles are black, you are actually white. Almost like white people. However, you, like black people, are stupidly offended by some stupid word that doesn’t mean anything, but only denotes a black person. And I’m not saying all this because I’m, for example, some kind of racist. There is no racism in this. After all, I'm just trying to explain everything to you. Moreover, Sonic is not a racist and is not guilty of anything. And he didn’t want to offend you with such a word. He probably just said this as a joke, calling you as such, but not because you are black, but because you only look like a black one in terms of needles, but officially you are not one. I think that you don’t need to be offended by such a trifle and forgive Sonic! Shadow listened to Silver's words and thought even more. This time he stood still and was still thinking, not moving anywhere. Silver collected all his purchases and moved on. Shadow then realized that Silver was right about everything. He shouldn't have been offended by Sonic for such a trifle. And in fact, he is probably himself to blame. After all, Sonic is right about everything about him. Then the hedgehog came up with a trick. Taking out a black mobile phone, he dials the phone number of a solar company and decides to order a high-quality tan for his face.

***

      The next day, Shadow stood on the edge of a cliff and looked at the sun. Sonic himself runs up to him and sighs with relief after finding him. He comes up behind him and says: — Shadow, I'm sorry, I was wrong. You are not a black man at all, but I’m just a stupid racist, if you blurted out to you in vain. Will you forgive me? — in response, Shadow, smiling, turned to him and showed up with a new muzzle. His face was no longer peach-colored, but brown, like blacks. Sonic, when he saw him, bulged his eyes and screamed: — A-A-A... S-s-sorry, please. I don’t want to seem rude to you, but... Who are you? Where's Shadow? He looks a little like you, only his muzzle... A little different color... Like mine. — Don't be afraid, Sonic! It is me! — he answers him. — Didn’t recognize it, or what? — You? — Sonic doesn’t believe what he heard. In front of him is truly the real Shadow, although the color of the skin on his face has become different. — Well? Do you like it? Now am I a real black man? — black one asks, smiling at the blue one.. — Uh-uh... Yes... No offense, but... Very... But the color and shape of the lips are correct, so that none of the other blacks will probably be indignant. — Why should they be indignant? — Shadow asked smiling. By coincidence or chance, at that moment the black people themselves appeared behind Sonic. Among them were also people with peach skin. — O! Look how Shadow got tanned! — Yeah. Well, he’s a real spitting image of a black man! — one of the blacks said smiling. — Mr. Shadow, can I get your autograph? It was just in Shadow's head. In reality, everything has not been like that so far, and we will probably never know what the result will be when real blacks see Shadow with such a face. But maybe it will be for the better. Shadow himself continued the conversation: — In general, Sonic, forgive me! It's my own fault. You were right to call me names. And I’m really boastful, as it turns out. But I promise you, I will improve. I will no longer brag to everyone about how ultimate I am. — Well, you have to! — Sonic smiled. — It seems that since you became a black man, you have also become kinder to me. — Say thanks to Silver! — Shadow explained. — He explained to me that you had no intention of insulting me at all, as well as the meaning of that word. Black-scarlet extends his hand to blue and both hedgehogs shake hands of truce.