The Siren's Song

“So ugly.”  Chu Wanning was sitting on a rock, letting cold water touch his soles. Thankfully, small ripples brought by the wind made a transparent surface distort his reflection, blurring his features to the point of becoming barely recognizable.  Wanning didn't remember when he first turned into a human form — it must have happened when his own mother left him. He knew she was saving him from death, so he wasn’t ever going to blame her for that — after all, it was unheard of that a siren would have a male baby. Their kind was known for being striking beauties with ethereal voices luring unwary men to them and then killing them viciously and feasting on their bodies — at least, this was how the legend went. Chu Wanning’s voice was as lethal as his mother’s, so from an early age, so he was used to pretending to be mute. He never actually spoke to anyone, too afraid to harm an innocent. He also spent his nights in a secluded cave, because he didn’t know if his body was able to hold up his guise when he was asleep. This was the way he lived — at least, he was still alive, and there was nothing to complain about.  When he was old enough he started helping fishermen mend their boats and earned his first money to buy more equipment. In several years he even befriended some of the locals as he kept studying carpentry. Although he never talked to anyone, people often accepted him as he was and were comfortable around him. They helped him coat his boats with tar. They brought him food and paid him generously. Slowly Chu Wanning’s caves turned into a boathouse where he spent all of his days and nights. The villagers living by the coast now knew him as a remarkable craftsman. People treated him with respect — so his human guise worked for him well. Until recently.  Wanning scowled, recalling, how shocked the guy whom he saved from the storm was when he saw Wanning in his true form.  His gaze was filled with that particular mix of dread and disbelief that made Wanning wonder for a moment if he was really that detestable.  All these years spent around the fishermen made him forget who he really was, so it was no wonder he had lost his vigilance for a moment, thinking that perhaps he was not so different from humans — apparently, he was mistaken.  That young man whom he rescued from the turbulent sea screamed with horror the moment he saw his savior had beastly wings and sharp talons. Like all the sirens, Wanning had the feet and wings of a bird, though apart from that his body looked very human. When in water, he also could swim well and when he needed to dive deep his body quickly adjusted itself to the environment, his skin protecting itself with iridescent scales — only his face always remained the same. But when on the surface, he definitely looked almost human. Almost. It was his face the guy he rescued saw first.  Chu Wanning watched how the stranger’s gaze filled with awe at the sight of him, and then drifted over him and stopped at his otherworldly wings. It was too late to transform back to his human form, so Wanning just waited patiently till the man screamed in horror and picked up a sharp rock in a frantic attempt to protect himself. Chu Wanning took a slow step back in hopes that this small movement would show the stranger he meant no harm. In fact, he would have been glad if this young man made his escape already. He couldn’t speak because his voice was a weapon, so there was no way for him to explain himself in this situation.  “Who... the hell are you?.. Did you… save me?”  The question made Wanning take another cautious step back, as he unconsciously tried to hide in the shadows of the cave.  “Hey!”  Chu Wanning moved further into the shadows, folding his wings to fit into the narrow path. He knew all the entrances and escape routes of this cave system so it wasn’t as if he was trapped there, yet he was too afraid that the stranger would follow him and then get lost.  Luckily, soon the man decided to leave him alone for good.  Chu Wanning sighed in relief, closing his eyes for a moment. And then shuddered, finally realizing the extent of the danger he had put himself in.  He was seen by a total stranger.  Probably, if he let this young man drown, it would have been for the better, but it was too late to change anything.  He was seen in his true form.  Chu Wanning hoped to gods the man wasn’t going to tell anyone about him, but he couldn’t be too sure about it. Who would resist the urge to impress their friends with a story about an ugly human-like creature living within the caves? Wanning knew that people were superstitious by nature and he was aware that the moment they knew who he really was they would come after him. He had made a horrible mistake when he saved that poor young man, but there wasn’t anything he could do about it at the moment.  He spent several days hiding just in case anyone would come looking for him. Only after a week, he mustered the courage to show up in the village. After all, the fishermen needed his help, and he had promised them he’d be able to mend their boats before another storm strikes.  The village welcomed him as usual with its colorful rooftops, overgrown apple tree gardens, and noisy cobblestone streets — the storm ended only a week ago, yet everything was already bustling with activity. Little shops and taverns were open for visitors, selling all kinds of goods from clay pots to hand-sewn clothing. The crisp air was still filled with the scent of saltwater that already mixed up with the notes of freshly cooked shrimp soup and steam buns. This village had been Chu Wanning’s home for years, yet now once again he felt like a stranger as he walked down its streets to the tavern where a tight-knit group of fishermen often gathered.  “Well, look who it is!” Xue Zhengyoung, one of the most recognized fishermen there, waved at Wanning, grinning. “How’s it going?”  He knew Wanning wouldn’t answer but still often talked to him just to include him in their circle.  Wanning nodded, smiling back at his longtime friend. Xue Zhengyoung only looked gruff, but in truth, he was gentle and kind, his expressive eyes often filled with laughter and joy. Not only was he an excellent fisherman but also a good husband and a father. Chu Wanning had built him a new boat only a few months ago, ensuring it was durable and could withstand any waves. “Hey, bring us two bowls of chicken noodles and something to wash it down! Quick!” Xue Zhengyoung made an order. His son who had been working in this tavern for years spotted Chu Wanning as well and smiled at him cheerfully.  “Long time no see, Master Chu,” he hurried up to the kitchen.  Wanning sat at the table, joining Xue Zhengyoung. On his way here, he was about to turn back several times out of fear that rumors about him had already reached his friends — but the moment he saw their calm faces, he felt at ease once again. Soon Xue Meng returned carrying a tray stuffed with steamy cups and bowls and their dinner started. Xue Zhengyoung told Wanning about his latest catch and how his nephew had caught a cold after he was caught up in a storm. Madam Wang, Xue Zhengyoung’s wife, was struggling to reduce his fever for days now, but nothing seemed to work.  “I need one more boat like you’ve built for me,” he said after a moment. “Mo Ran keeps asking me about it, and maybe this will speed up his recovery.”  Chu Wanning nodded, smiling. Xue Zhengyoung had mentioned Mo Ran many times before — it seemed he truly cared about that boy. He probably was going to introduce them later, and Wanning already felt like he knew him. At least, there were several stories he could recall about Mo Ran saving earthworms from being stumbled upon and having a childhood crush on a mermaid (or at least he was telling everyone that was an undine). Probably, Mo Ran had a kind heart so it was a pity they never met before. It was already past midnight when Chu Wanning returned to his caves. As the wind kept picking up, he sat on a rock once again, looking into the dark abyss of the night sea never really seeing anything. The sounds of crashing waves made him shiver with sudden apprehension. Maybe this time no one discovered his secret, and the danger to him was over. But he had so much to lose, and he still had to be more careful if he wanted to stay in one place for a long time.  He closed his eyes, letting the dread of this day finally go away.  The sounds of waves roaring and the gusts of wind have become his drums and kitharas, turning in his head into a mystical rhythm that called to him to join in. The first raindrops created a soft whispering beat as they collided with the solid rock surface. There wasn’t a soul to hear him at this time of night, and he knew his voice will be drowned in the music of natural elements. As Wanning let his voice be carried away, the distant thunder answered him in perfect sync, making his heart leap with the joy of the moment.    ~~~   Chu Wanning’s boats were known for their durability and unique design. Every fisherman living on the coast knew that they were the best ones. The only problem with them was that they took months to be created, and Wanning was meticulous about every detail never letting anyone intervene in the process. His clients often visited him to check how the process was going, so Wanning wasn’t surprised when he heard someone coming into his boathouse. After all, he already knew that Mo Ran, Xue Zhengyoung’s nephew, had fully recovered, so his visit was expected.  The problem was, he was already in the middle of work, and couldn’t be interrupted that easily. He had been working for several days now and used every ounce of daylight because whittling and carving soft cedarwood timber had to be done with extreme care and precision.  “Hey there.”  Chu Wanning was working with sharp tools so he hadn’t recognized Mo Ran’s presence at once. He was holding his breath, fully concentrating on what he was doing, because even the smallest mistake could affect the quality of the whole boat. Tiny beads of sweat covered his pale forehead, but there was no way to wipe them off without stopping.  “I have brought you some food. Madam Wang said I’d find you here…” Xue Zhengyoung’s nephew went on, oblivious to the tremendous effort Wanning was putting into his work. “By the way, I’m Mo Ran. And… you must be Master Chu, right?..”  His question was met by dead silence disturbed only by the pieces of wood falling down. Chu Wanning wasn’t going to stop to have a chat with him. He was too busy for that — and, after all, hadn’t Madam Wang warned her nephew that Chu Wanning was mute?..  “Fine… I guess, I’ll wait for you, then.”  Mo Ran seated himself on the floor, putting the pots with food beside him. Chu Wanning frowned, but that didn’t stop him even for a second. He had no idea what Mo Ran wanted from him — but he decided that probably Mo Ran would soon get bored and leave so he just kept working as if his presence didn’t matter to him anymore. Soon the fact that Mo Ran was somewhere in the boathouse waiting for him was completely dismissed from his mind. Only when the sun went down did Chu Wanning put down the manual planer. He felt too tired to continue, and his hands were already sore from hours of manual labor. He turned his head sideways, stretching, trying to beat the fatigue.  Only then he saw that Mo Ran had actually never left — in fact, he had dozed off right there on the floor. In the dim light of an oil lamp, his face looked relaxed and unspeakably handsome, his features resembling the most beautiful works of ancient art. Stray locks of dark hair framed his high cheekbones and fell on his forehead partially covering thick crescents of eyebrows. Long feathery eyelashes were shading his tanned cheeks. Chu Wanning frowned, as his gaze moved lower to the pouty lips and rested on the strong lines of his lower jaw. He was a craftsman and he could recognize beauty when he saw it. The problem was, Mo Ran wasn’t a teen — it turned out, he was much older than Chu Wanning expected him to be. And… Gods, only looking at him made Chu Wanning’s heart suddenly beat faster.  He almost stopped breathing, as his eyes fixed intently on his prey, his vocal cords struggling to work…  Wanning took a cautious step back.  Though he was a siren, his reactions had never been that intense before. He had to remind himself several times that Mo Ran was Xue Zhengyoung’s nephew, and even that didn’t make him calm down at once.  “Master Chu…” Mo Ran’s eyelashes fluttered for a moment, and then Wanning found himself drowning in his intense stare. Mo Ran’s eyes were that particular shade of dark purple —- the color of the skies at the break of dawn, when the night was the deepest. And they looked disturbingly familiar. Chu Wanning almost gasped as he finally recognized Mo Ran now when he had a chance to look at him directly.  The moment it dawned on him who Mo Ran actually was, he knew he was damned.  “I have brought you some food.” Mo Ran smiled languidly as if nothing happened, and Chu Wanning recoiled at his choice of words. Was Mo Ran crazy to come there alone? Hadn’t he seen him in these caves before — wasn’t he aware of who Wanning was by now?  Mo Ran was the person Wanning had rescued only some weeks before. Probably, that’s why he had a fever — after all, he almost had drowned on that night. He should have seen Wanning in his beastly form — he had known what Wanning was all along. What did he think he was doing, coming into the caves and taunting Wanning? Was he an idiot? Wasn’t he aware of what kind of food sirens preferred?..  Chu Wanning pursed his lips, turning away from Mo Ran. He even didn’t have to pretend now he was speechless. “Hey, I know you can’t speak, but it’s okay. Let me just show you what my auntie cooked for you…” Mo Ran went on, pretending not to notice Wanning’s reaction. “I know you must be hungry.”  Chu Wanning clenched his teeth. There wasn’t any way he could respond or make Mo Ran leave, so he had to put up with this situation. “There’s ….soup, noodles….” Mo Ran went on, as he opened several pots which were already too cold to eat. “Do you prefer your food spicy?”  Wanning winced at his words. As a siren, he could go without food without any harm for months. He knew that people often shared meals showing affection for one another, but he couldn’t really understand why Mo Ran would bring him anything.  “I think we need to heat it up,” Mo Ran clearly wasn’t taking any hints. He placed the pots into the still-warm hearth Wanning used to work on metal mounting earlier and turned to him once again looking all innocent. “Don’t you feel lonely here? I would be happy to keep you company on some days.”  Chu Wanning narrowed his eyes, looking at Mo Ran with no expression. He couldn’t tell him he want him gone because he couldn’t use his voice, but he hoped Mo Ran would take his clues. “Oh, and I was going to ask if you take apprentices,” Mo Ran continued but suddenly stopped finally noticing that Chu Wanning was about to pounce at him or bash him in the head. “I was just wondering if that’s possible. Of course, I would not expect you to answer right away,” he concluded, dropping the subject.  Luckily, after that, he stopped uttering nonsense and paid more attention to what he was doing. The soup he heated turned out to be quite delicious.    ~~~   After that day Mo Ran started to frequent Chu Wanning’s den, and Chu Wanning somehow even grew accustomed to his presence. He kept telling himself he had no right to get attached to his friend’s nephew, but somehow with each passing day he enjoyed his company more and more though he would never have admitted that even to himself.  Every morning he woke up with the thoughts of Mo Ran and started his day by ensuring they both had something to do together. It was the first time he let anyone stay so close to him, and it was both a curse and a blessing.  “You know, I always wanted to thank you for being so patient with me,” Mo Ran said on one of the evenings as they both were busy cleaning up the boathouse after a long day. Chu Wanning stopped arranging his tools and turned to Mo Ran, giving him an affectionate look. Perhaps he couldn’t speak, but still, he wanted him to know that he appreciated everything they were doing together.  “It’s late, and you probably want me to go,” Mo Ran sighed, shaking his head. “If only you would let me stay with you…”  It wasn’t the first time he asked Chu Wanning to let him sleep in the caves, but Wanning was always adamant about him going home. No matter how much he enjoyed Mo Ran’s company, he still felt vulnerable during his sleep. He wasn’t able to hold his human guise while he was unconscious, and thus letting Mo Ran stay was out of the question, even though he had already seen Wanning in his monstrous form before.  “I won’t disturb you in any way. I can actually stay in another cave if you’re worried about my intentions,” Mo Ran went on. He had already come up with this suggestion several days before, and, as usual, Wanning shook his head sideways, showing that he wasn’t going to agree to that — though Mo Ran’s words about his intentions made his ears go suddenly hot.  “You’re refusing me not because you’re afraid of me, right?” Mo Ran kept guessing. “You know I will never harm you. Then why keep driving me off?”  Chu Wanning looked Mo Ran in the eye without blinking. The arguments Mo Ran was throwing at him were lame at first, but he kept building them up. With each day Wanning became less and less convinced about his own motives, because, in truth, Mo Ran’s interest in him seemed harmless.  “I will behave myself, I promise! You will forget I’m here,” Mo Ran pleaded.  Chu Wanning sighed, looking unconvinced. And then… nodded , never actually understanding, what was wrong with him that he decided to change his decision.  His nod was barely noticeable — but it made Mo Ran’s irises instantly go dark with excitement.  “You really will let me stay, will you?!” he almost shouted, and Wanning winced as the question kept echoing in the caves. “That’s fantastic! I mean… you won’t regret it!” Chu Wanning doubted that, but he couldn’t take his decision back now, that he had agreed to Mo Ran’s presence and accepted him in his life. The only thing he could do now was hope that Mo Ran’s interest in him was mostly harmless.    ~~~   Chu Wanning woke up feeling hot and restless, his skin almost burning under the thin layers of quilt. As he lay quietly in the darkness, feeling extremely sensitive to his surroundings, he instantly knew that something was terribly wrong. Though he couldn’t hear anything and it was still too dark to see, he felt he wasn’t alone anymore, and the presence he was sensing wasn’t a good one. If he hadn’t invited Mo Ran to stay with him tonight, he would have called out already, checking for an intruder. His voice was a powerful weapon he could use to protect himself. With it, he could easily paralyze his enemies and even unalive them, making them obsessed with a desire to the point they would wish to die.  Anyone who heard him speaking was in imminent danger. But if he used his voice now, chances were he would affect Mo Ran as well, and he won’t be able to ever take it back. Chu Wanning decided to wait for what would happen next pretending he was still deep asleep. This was probably all he could do without harming his guest. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before warm air brushed at his face — it tickled his tender skin uncomfortably, but he forced himself to stay still by sheer will. Most likely, the stranger was now leaning over him, probably deciding what to do next, tricked into believing Chu Wanning wasn’t aware of his presence. His breath was now caressing Wanning’s cheeks and neck, it also teased the seam of his mouth shamelessly. It smelled of mint and sweet pea – it was a beautiful fresh scent that carried familiar notes Wanning instantly recognized.  “Would you let me kiss you if you were awake?”  This sudden question almost made Chu Wanning sigh with relief because the sound of this voice was also quite familiar to him. It was Mo Ran — so probably Wanning had nothing to worry about. “You have been torturing me for so long, yet now, you’re so vulnerable, while you’re sleeping.” Mo Ran paused.  “By now I could easily have killed you if I wanted to end my misery… but I don’t want to.”  Tortured?.. Now Chu Wanning was truly alarmed. What was the meaning behind Mo Ran’s words?  Wanning never meant any harm to anyone, and although Mo Ran was aware of who he was, it seemed he was fine all along with knowing he was working and dining side by side with a siren… or was he misleading Wanning on purpose?  “You never pay any attention to me. What have I done to you that you want me to suffer so much?..” Mo Ran kept whispering softly in Chu Wanning’s hair as he brushed his jawline with his knuckles. He talked to himself, but still, Chu Wanning couldn’t help but feel scared.  What Mo Ran was up to? Probably this was the reason behind him asking to stay for the night…  It would have been too awkward if Chu Wanning revealed he was awake and that he was listening, so he decided to keep on pretending he was still asleep. He was lying motionless, carefully controlling his breath to ensure it didn’t alert Mo Ran to anything. Maybe it was wrong of him, but he wasn’t ready to face Mo Ran. Not yet. He was going to let Mo Ran touch him — as long as these were just occasional innocent brushes, he was totally fine with that. In fact, no one had touched him with such tenderness before, and it was the first time he ever let anyone so close. As Mo Ran’s fingers slid down his neck to his collarbone and then rested there, warmth seeped into Wanning’s pores, making his skin heat. “I’m going to fuck you. Probably should have done this the first time I saw you… after all, you’re a siren, that’s what you want from all men…” Mo Ran suddenly said and his whisper carried so much menace that Wanning felt unable to move from shock for a moment. He gasped, betraying himself, and that small sound sliced through the silence like a knife. The next moment he felt Mo Ran’s palm covering his mouth.  “Oh, no. I won’t let you sing me to death now, baobei. I know you can do that. You’ll get what you need from me, but it will be on my terms.”  Chu Wanning wasn’t going to speak anyway, but after what he had heard, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to protect himself now without his voice. Vaguely, he understood that Mo Ran was several inches taller than him, his shoulders were much broader and even his palms were wider — in fact, he had covered not only his mouth but almost all of his face with just one hand, stripping Wanning of any ability to speak. His body was now pressing Wanning into the straw mat, and no amount of struggle was going to help him now.  Chu Wanning tried to push Mo Ran away, but he hadn’t managed to make him move. Evil tears made his vision go blurry, although, in the darkness of the cave, he was as good as blind from the moment he woke up. He bit Mo Ran in the palm out of pure despair, because it was the only thing he could do — and that was his first mistake.  As the first drop of blood made its way to his mouth, his instincts kicked in. If before he felt only some restlessness, probably caused by Mo Ran’s presence in his sleeping chamber, now his body went on a rampage. It was struggling to increase the contact, going soft and pliant under Mo Ran, rubbing against his groin aggressively. His mind went hazy with desire, drowning in pure heat.  “So needy already?” Mo Ran’s hot breath tickled his neck, making him arch it. “Then you shouldn’t have made me suffer all this time for nothing. After all, you should have known what you were doing to me when you rescued me. So much struggle to drive me off, when you could only ask me nicely… I’ll make you beg me to take you, Wanning.”  Wanning was so swept with desire he barely registered the meaning behind Mo Ran’s words. He was too busy licking at Mo Ran’s palm, trying to taste more of his blood and skin. It was pure bliss. His tongue slid along Mo Ran’s fingers and caressed his broad wrist. Chu Wanning stopped thinking about the reason he had to fight back — all he wanted was to taste more of Mo Ran. “You like my fingers so much?” Mo Ran laughed in his ear smugly as Wanning suckled on his thumb possessively. “Well, I have something better for you to try.”  Chu Wanning heard the rustle of clothes and the next thing he knew he was on his knees, Mo Ran’s cock pressed tightly to his lips. Mo Ran’s skin was so warm and tender and smelled deliciously clean, making his mouth water all over again.  “You’ll like it, I promise,” Mo Ran rumbled, teasing the seam of Wanning’s mouth. “Try it out, baobei.” Wanning stuck out the tip of his tongue, barely touching Mo Ran’s broad head, just to get the taste of it. Even being fully aroused, he felt like he was doing something wrong, and that made him hesitate — but, still, it seemed that Mo Ran liked when he touched his cock with his lips, so there was no harm in indulging in his desire.  Chu Wanning gave Mo Ran another tentative lick, and then opened his mouth, wrapping his lips around his cock, sucking it in as Mo Ran’s hoarse breathing teased his ears.  “Yes, take it deeper. I want you to suck me, Wanning. When your mouth is busy, you are so hot.”  Chu Wanning wasn’t going to let Mo Ran ask him twice, because the sounds of labored breathing and Mo Ran’s voice made him almost ecstatic. Although Mo Ran’s cock was stretching his lips painfully, he was too carried away with the taste of bare skin. He was gradually losing control, his hands were wrapped around Mo Ran’s buttocks, his sharp talons sinking deep into the skin with every thrust, almost piercing it. Then, the heady scents of arousal and blood mixed together, creating a natural aphrodisiac for him, peaking his appetite. “Ah… baobei!” Mo Ran moaned, his palm going to the back of Wanning’s head and resting there, as he bumped into Wanning’s throat. Chu Wanning sucked his cock harder, feasting on it, greedily collecting every drop of precum, meeting every thrust. Mo Ran tasted like heaven, and Wanning wasn’t ready to let him go though he could hardly breathe because Mo Ran’s weapon was blocking his throat, partially suffocating him. His hunger was keeping the effects of the lack of air at bay. His head spun yet he still wanted more, losing control, totally lost in the tastes and scents that surrounded him. He suddenly felt uneasy, as the thought of harming Mo Ran flashed across his mind.  What he was feeling was probably his instinctual desire to consume his prey — it was extremely dangerous to indulge in it.  Wanning finally pulled away, although Mo Ran tried to force him to continue. Probably he didn’t know what he was doing, already feeling the poisonous effects of Wanning’s presence.  “You liked my cock, didn’t you?” Mo Ran rasped, playing with Wanning’s hair, his fingers running along his jaw. “Even your chin is wet. Why don’t you tell me how much you enjoyed it?”  Chu Wanning pursed his swollen lips, feeling slightly disoriented, trying to come to his senses. Under no circumstances could he answer Mo Ran — even to explain why he had to pull away. His throat was still strangled after what he was doing, and this was for the better because he couldn’t let Mo Ran hear his voice.  “You’re not mute, aren’t you?” Mo Ran chuckled, trying to encourage him further. “With me, you don’t have to pretend you can’t speak. Hearing your sweet voice will give me so much pleasure when I fuck you.”  Chu Wanning shivered, not quite sure why Mo Ran was so sure that he wasn’t mute. What gave him that idea?  There was no chance of him ever hearing Wanning’s voice, unless…  The trail of Wanning’s thoughts was interrupted once again as Mo Ran’s mouth seared his lips, tasting him, robbing him of breath while his hands went roaming possessively over his body.  Every touch burned through Wanning like a living flame, making his blood run hot and cold at the same time, settling an unrelenting longing somewhere deep within his groin. Chu Wanning never thought that being with someone could feel like that. He was dumbfounded by the intensity of his own desires. Was that what the myths tried to warn everyone about? Was this what sirens were actually feeling when they preyed on unwary men? If so, it was way too dangerous to let this continue. It was a miracle that Mo Ran wasn’t repulsed by the talons that already replaced Wanning’s nails — most likely, it was because it was too dark in the cave to see anything clearly. Chu Wanning knew he was ugly in his true form — if Mo Ran was in his right mind, he would have already escaped from him by now, because most likely Wanning’s features were already subtly changing, giving him that elusive look his kind had. What made Mo Ran want him that much? Why wasn’t he repelled? This was clearly unnatural. Besides, weren’t they both men, after all?..  “By the end of this night, I will make you scream my name, baobei,” Mo Ran whispered somewhere in Wanning’s chest, and his lips followed the trail of his breath, kissing Wanning’s flat nipples, going lower, touching Wanning’s belly button with his moist tongue. “I know you can talk. Believe me, I will make you use your voice with me.”  The heat of his kisses was at complete odds with what he said, confusing Wanning even more. Once again he tried to push Mo Ran away, knowing he had to put a stop to what was happening because what Mo Ran intended was utterly dangerous, but Mo Ran caught Wanning’s hands midway, pressing his wrists to the ground.  “Don’t you think it’s too late to struggle? Can’t you feel how hard we both are?”  Mo Ran’s thick lengths indeed was pressed tightly into Wanning’s thigh, and Wanning himself felt uncomfortable, his cock stretching his underwear as Mo Ran’s hands roamed way too close to his own private parts. He was already so aroused he was afraid he won’t be able to hold on for long. The fear of losing control in Mo Ran’s presence was already mixed up with the perverse desire to let this all continue, and the first brush of Mo Ran’s fingers along his inner thigh almost brought tears to his eyes, making him silently swallow a moan of pleasure. Wanning’s skin was now covered in goosebumps, anticipating every touch. His heart was racing so fast he was afraid at some point it won’t be able to take it.  Mo Ran’s fingers made a leisurely circle around his cock, and then cupped it, stroking it through the flimsy layer of cotton fabric.  “Do you like my touch, baobei?” His question hung between them in utter silence. “Do you want me to proceed? I can bring you so much pleasure, but you need to ask me first. Don’t be shy, use your sweet voice on me.”  Chu Wanning even stopped breathing. Once again he made an attempt to move away, but his body already became uncooperative, succumbing to the pleasure. All he managed to do was roll away from Mo Ran, as he hastily covered his front. His back was already naked, his shoulder blades very prominent under the skin, yet he still had enough presence of mind to keep his body from full transformation — luckily his bird wings were still hidden.  Clearly, Mo Ran planned to tempt him into speaking – but he wasn’t going to let this happen.  “Oh, Wanning…” Mo Ran’s hands circled his waist as he moved even closer, his body framing Wanning’s smaller form. “It’s a pity I can’t see your ass in the dark. It is definitely worth of my attention…”  As he spoke, his fingers ran smoothly along Wanning’s backbone to his lower back and stopped at the hem of his remaining clothes. Slowly he pulled the underwear out of the way, going even lower. His palm kneaded Wanning’s sensitive buttocks for a moment, making him almost gasp with surprise. Wanning never thought that being touched there could bring him so much pleasure. He bit his lip, bracing himself for new sensations in that area… that never came. Instead, Mo Ran’s lips suddenly brushed at his shoulder blade.  “Ah…” Chu Wanning immediately covered his mouth, but it was too late. He gasped, and the sound was loud enough to echo through the caves.  “Oh, here’s your weak spot,” Mo Ran’s voice carried a smile. “So I thought.”  The next moment he licked at Wanning’s already heated skin, and then blew at it slowly. This small caress almost made Chu Wanning spontaneously fall apart. His mind went blank as his back arched, his knees went weak, and his cock struggled to get attention, jerking hard. Mo Ran kept licking him, leaving a wet trail on his back, going lower to his very ass. His tongue probed further in the crease, spreading his buttocks wider, finding the tight entrance. Slow torturous licks made Wanning wet and sleek, taking off the tension, as he sensed Mo Ran’s tip of the tongue entering him. “No… Mo Ran… ah… stop…” Chu Wanning was so shaken Mo Ran did that, he forgot he wasn’t supposed to speak. It was the first time he allowed himself to talk in anyone’s presence, and instantly he was taken aback by the hoarse sound of his own voice.  What had he done just now?!..  He jerked, trying to free himself, but Mo Ran’s left hand was still wrapped around him tightly, preventing him from escaping, as his mouth worked between his buttocks. There was no way Mo Ran hadn’t heard him.  Chu Wanning closed his eyes, feeling utterly horrified.  Mo Ran definitely had heard him, but he wasn’t acting as he was supposed to. Those who heard the siren’s voice for the first time often became amazed by it. They usually obeyed the siren’s command — there was no resisting them, unless… they were accustomed to hearing it, and it had already become their obsession. Chu Wanning’s blood ran cold.  If Mo Ran had heard him before, this could explain why he felt so driven to Chu Wanning all this time. Obviously, that was why he wanted Chu Wanning to talk to him — he was probably that far gone. How much time had passed since he heard Wanning for the first time, and when this could even happen?  Definitely not when they met in that cave for the first time, and not later when they worked together — Chu Wanning was extremely careful around Mo Ran, he never allowed himself to utter even a word, no matter how much he was compelled to answer to Mo Ran’s antics.  So… when? Was Mo Ran poisoned by his voice before they actually met?  “Say my name once again, Wanning,” Mo Ran whispered between his thighs, his hot breath searing Wanning’s sensitive skin. “Mo Ran…” Chu Wanning knew it was his doom. “How long you’ve been under my spell? I know it’s my voice that makes you want me. Perhaps it’s still possible to help you. You need to stop right now and tell me when it all started.”  But his words were met only by rude mocking laughter.  “You think I need help?.. Oh, little do you know about me, Wanning,” Mo Ran suddenly jerked Wanning’s hips up, and then something hot and broad pressed between them. “All I need is YOU .”  As he said that, he thrust into Wanning’s body, his cock stretching him painfully, going in inch by slow inch.  “Ah… stop!” Chu Wanning’s knees gave out, as he felt pierced like a butterfly, blinded by pain — only his wings were the bird ones, and as they appeared, beating wildly, he already knew he had lost — even having all the power of his true form wasn’t going to save him. Mo Ran held him with such force that probably his waist and hips would wear bruises for weeks.  “Why would I stop?” Mo Ran’s voice was hoarse. “Don’t you know that your voice is made to drive men out of their minds? It makes them lust after you even though they don’t see you. I was caught in a storm, and the wind carried your song to me, making me lose control and go after you. My boat sank, and still, I was longing for you, as my lungs started to fill with water.” Another deep thrust made Wanning bit his tongue not to scream, bringing tears to his eyes — but not from physical pain.  Now he finally knew what happened that night when he rescued Mo Ran.  Mo Ran had probably heard him singing when he was in the sea. He was g ood as dead, Wanning’s song already had poisoned him when Wanning took him from the sea. This was why Mo Ran fell ill at first — he would have probably been dead by now if Wanning hadn’t visited with Xue Zhengyoung a week later. Mo Ran needed to stay close to Chu Wanning now, he was driven to him — but not because he liked Wanning. All the warmth of their relationship was a lie — he had tricked Chu Wanning into believing that he genuinely liked him when in truth he was just obsessed with him. Chu Wanning stopped resisting Mo Ran the moment it all dawned on him. Now every piece of the puzzle was finally in place. He was so foolish to think Mo Ran would like him for his personality — when what really happened was as far from it as it could be.  Vaguely he felt Mo Ran breathing heavily in his ear, beating into him with powerful thrusts that increased in intensity, rocking through them both. He was clearly burning up, his cock buried deep within him, his hands wrapped around him like a vise.  “Ah, Wanning, you feel so sweet when you aren’t resisting…” he rasped, grazing Wanning’s ears with his teeth. “Can you feel me within you?..”  Chu Wanning’s throat was still clogged with tears so he couldn’t answer right away. After a while, he forced himself to say the only right thing he could think of at that moment. “Kill me.”  That was the only thing he would ask for. The only way to release someone who fell prey to a siren’s voice was to kill a siren. The sirens were fated to die if someone heard their song and escaped them — this was the case with Odysseus, everyone knew the story. Mo Ran had to kill Chu Wanning to live, and Wanning was going to let him do that.  Mo Ran probably haven’t heard him because his hands never stopped caressing Wanning’s belly, his chest kept brushing against Wanning’s wings, and his hips never slowed down, as he hammered hard into Wanning, sheathing himself deep into his heat. He was completely enthralled by desire and clearly wasn’t able to understand what Wanning was telling him to do. Wet kisses and bites now covered Wanning’s earlobes, shoulders, and neck, and still, Mo Ran was far from being satisfied, he feasted on him while he took him. There was nothing else Chu Wanning could do other than wait until this ordeal ended. Tears kept burning his eyes, running down his face and soaking into the straw mat. He tried not to throw up as he felt Mo Ran shuddering within him with release. The sleek warmth spread in him, soothing the raw burns, but still, he was in pain. He even hadn’t registered when Mo Ran released him and how much time had passed since then. Vaguely he heard the splashes of water and felt Mo Ran’s hand pulling up a quilt to cover his naked body. “From now on, I’m going to fuck you every day, baobei,” Mo Ran whispered in Wanning’s hair, as his hands wrapped around him. “You are mine and don’t even think you can escape from me. Not a chance. I won’t let you.”   “This isn’t what you truly want,” Chu Wanning shook his head slowly. But the moment he said that Mo Ran’s fingers suddenly pulled his head up by the hair. In the first rays of crimson dawn Mo Ran’s face looked dark with anger, his purple eyes almost glowing red.  “I’m not going to ask anymore. If you aren’t cooperating, I’ll tell everyone in the village who you really are, and let’s see on whose side they will be. By now I know you cannot use your voice for anything other than to seduce men, so if you don’t want to be fucked by every fisherman in the area, you’d better be an obedient siren.”  That made Chu Wanning suddenly sober up.  He knew it wasn’t actually Mo Ran talking — but still, words burned deep, wounding his soul to the point of breaking.  “I never wanted to seduce you,” Wanning said calmly. “I had no idea you listened when I sang. If you think about it carefully, you will understand that I never intended to hurt you, and what you feel for me isn’t even real.”  “I don’t give a fuck if this is real or not as long as you make me feel like that,” Mo Ran cut him off. “I want you, and I’m going to have you.”  “Do you know how sirens kill their prey? Those who stay with them are unable to leave, as they become obsessed with their songs. They starve to death or fall into lethargy, and then the sirens consume their weak bodies. Do you really want to stay with me?” “I stayed with you for over a week, and nothing happened,” Mo Ran pointed out. “Either you’re a pretty harmless siren, or the rumors about your power are overly exaggerated. As for you consuming my cock with that little mouth of yours, or you enticing me to fuck you… that isn’t going to kill me, baobei” Chu Wanning shuddered.  Mo Ran really was that far gone. He wasn’t even aware that what he was saying wasn’t rational. Of course, he was able to stay with Chu Wanning without harm for over a week — after all, Chu Wanning kept silent in his presence all the time. But this only made Mo Ran’s obsession worse. In fact, what Chu Wanning did was unheard of in the world of sirens, and no one actually knew what would happen to a man if a siren wasn’t going to kill him. There was no such story. But from what Chu Wanning could see now, even his precautions failed to keep Mo Ran from slowly going insane — and obviously, this was fully Wanning’s fault.  And there was only one way to release a person from under a siren’s spell.  He looked at the ocean, turning away from Mo Ran, brushing off his hands when he tried to restrain him. Was it even possible for a siren to die from water? In the legends and myths, it was said that the sirens who hadn’t managed to lure Odysseus to them had flung themselves into the ocean and perished there. If this was true, there was still a way to save Mo Ran and return him to his senses.  “Don’t you have a loved one waiting for you in your village?” Chu Wanning asked aloud, trying to make Mo Ran remember someone he truly cared about. “This person must be someone special, yet you betray them with a creature like me…”  “I am not interested in anyone,” Mo Ran’s tone was menacing again. “I want you.”  “That’s not true. My songs made you believe it,” Wanning concluded bitterly, but Mo Ran’s case was truly hopeless.  “I don’t really care,” Mo Ran shrugged. Chu Wanning nodded, finally understanding that he won’t be able to convince Mo Ran of anything unless he uses his voice on him.  Sadly, this had to be his song. He closed his eyes, desperately trying to calm down, telling himself he will find peace once he does what had to be done. His lungs filled with air, and he stood up, letting the quilt drop to the floor, knowing far well that Mo Ran’s attention was instantly drawn to him. His voice rang through the cave system like a tidal wave, weaving together the lyrics and rhythm, enchanting all the space around him before it was possible to do anything about it. He was going to keep Mo Ran trapped in place to make him listen. Sounds were born somewhere deep in his broken soul and drifted through the air freely. They shimmered with clarity and truth, as he sang about all the bright moments of life, of love and family, of being cherished and free to choose. Perhaps he knew nothing about being loved and his own mother left him when he was a child, but he wanted Mo Ran to think about true love and how it was supposed to feel.  He sang about hearts being bound when two people were destined to be together — and the rhythm in his ears was his own heart pounding painfully at the words he used.  He kept singing about a beautiful girl waiting for Mo Ran somewhere, and his eyes were filled with tears as his voice was filled with joy.  With every word he told a story of miracles that awaited Mo Ran in the future and how happy he was going to be in his life, as his heart slowly died.  He kept singing, looking Mo Ran straight in the eye, trying to heal him with his soothing song of pure happiness, while his soul experienced pure agony.  As Mo Ran became fully entranced, Wanning took a small step back to the entrance of the cave, feeling the rays of the morning sun finally warm up his bare skin.  He spread his wings, letting the wind brush his feathers for the very last time.  With the last note, he folded his wings together, taking another step back, letting his body fall into the dark abyss of water.   ~~~   …Mo Ran coughed severely, feeling suffocated and drained. Water occasionally kept coming from out of his mouth and nostrils, and his body kept shaking in fever. This wasn’t the first time he almost drowned, and both times it was because of that dumbass siren Chu Wanning. How foolish! That man really wanted to kill himself by drowning, and he was an honest-to-God siren! Was this even possible?.. Still, it was a miracle they both managed to get out alive because Chu Wanning obviously was determined to end himself at all costs. He wasn’t trying to get to the surface and his own weight of the wings pulled him deeper with e ach second. Moreover, he still had that fucking blissfully fake smile on his face while he was fucking killing himself!  Mo Ran went through another round of outrageous coughs, his shocked gaze rarely leaving Wanning’s pale features because he was subconscuiosly afraid the man will again disappear from his sight like he almost did in the ocean. Chu Wanning hadn’t come to his senses yet, but at least he was breathing and he had a steady heartbeat, so probably he was… fine.  Ridiculous!.. Why would he want to kill himself after singing about how beautiful life was? His song was filled with love and passion, yet he decided to drown himself the second he finished it. Was he fucking nuts?!  Mo Ran shook his head, leaning over Wanning, taking another careful check for any other kind of damage. He was scared out of his mind when Wanning jumped into the ocean — never was he so afraid in his life before, not even when he was on the brink of death himself. Chu Wanning was his only salvation for many years, though Mo Ran never knew it was actually him.  Mo Ran lived for Chu Wanning’s songs.  In his childhood he often went out to cliffs when the storm raged, believing this was a mermaid singing to him. He fell in love with Chu Wanning, never actually seeing him — yet everything changed when he finally discovered to whom these songs actually belonged.  A siren. After all, it was difficult to mistake Wanning for a mermaid — he had the claws and wings of a bird of prey. He looked just like in the pictures in the books of myths, only more… beautiful. Alluring.  And real.  Mo Ran wasn’t quite sure why a siren would never use the power of its voice on anyone, hiding its unique gift. The myths warned sailors about stunning cold-hearted creatures with cunning minds leading men to their doom, but this obviously wasn’t what Chu Wanning was doing. His songs were passionate, but he sang only when it was stormy and no one was there to hear him. He was a loner, and he seemed not to care about other people at all.  He just loved to sing. Mo Ran already knew that Chu Wanning would never harm anyone, and he used this knowledge to his advantage shamelessly.  He made Chu Wanning slowly accept his presence and even became his apprentice.  He tried to be helpful and easygoing, building his way to Wanning’s heart step by step.  He was determined to win over Chu Wanning’s love by being patient with him and showing him affection, yet all his daily efforts seemed to go to waste. Nothing could make Wanning trust him enough to start using his voice when Mo Ran was near. Wanning remained untouchable, and he probably was distancing himself from Mo Ran on purpose. The more Mo Ran tried to cherish him and show him love, the more Chu Wanning tried to drive him off as if his very life depended on it.  With every passing day, the tension was building, and then Chu Wanning suddenly let Mo Ran stay in the caves for the night.  This was the chance of a lifetime. Mo Ran suspected that the only reason Chu Wanning wouldn’t let him stay before was that he was vulnerable in his sleep. This meant that Mo Ran had a real chance to watch him sleeping. Back then he thought that perhaps he would even be able to lie close to him if he was lucky enough…  Mo Ran closed his eyes in utter humiliation.  Never had he thought that Chu Wanning’s proximity would affect him that much.  First, he was afraid to touch Wanning, almost worshipping him in his sleep like some kind of deity.  Then, he was drowning in pure lust, feeling bitterness at the fact that Chu Wanning never let him close, never really paid any special attention to him.  Mo Ran was horrified by the dark thoughts that coursed through his mind.  Chu Wanning was indeed totally helpless in his sleep, and he couldn’t stop thinking of how easy it would be to kiss him now… or to touch him intimately. After all, Chu Wanning was a siren — he probably was naturally sensitive, his allure screamed of sex and sultriness. Even his long sharp talons looked slutty and his wings made him utterly ethereal in his true form. Everything about Wanning was created to seduce men — or, maybe not, but Mo Ran was so obsessed with him that Wanning’s desires didn’t matter to him anymore.  That night Mo Ran really had ruined everything. He had forced himself upon Wanning. He had raped him brutally. And then he had threatened Wanning with telling everyone he was a siren.  What in the world was wrong with him?!..  Mo Ran knew he wasn’t going to be able to look Wanning in the eye ever again after all he had done to him. He wasn’t even sure if he had any moral right to stay here with Wanning after he rescued him — but he was too afraid that his siren will make another attempt to end his life after coming to senses.  Now he had to stay close to Chu Wanning just in case.  “I will never harm you again, Wanning,” Mo Ran whispered brokenly. “I even don’t know what made me say and do all these things to you. I’m so afraid to lose you…”  The words of bitter remorse were followed by a dead silence, in which all Mo Ran could hear was his own deafening heartbeat. In a panic, he touched Wanning’s neck briefly once again to check the pulse — and was caught off guard by Wanning’s focused stare.  Mo Ran’s hand dropped immediately as if Wanning’s skin had burnt him.  “I am aware you aren’t going to speak with me now, and that’s fine. I am glad you are alive. I won’t beg your forgiveness. Hell, I…” he stopped, because Chu Wanning closed his eyes tightly, shaking his head.  “You already have heard my voice, so there’s no point in pretense. The damage is done. Do you think I really tried to punish you with silence or was attempting to drive you off by pretending to be mute?..”  “I don’t think so,” Mo Ran sighed, feeling totally at a loss. Truthfully, he thought that Chu Wanning never trusted him enough and this was the reason he wasn’t speaking with him. Never had he suspected that by being silent Chu Wanning was trying to protect him.  His heart sank. “I’m really sorry this happened to you,” Chu Wanning said after a long pause. “You shouldn’t have rescued me. You might have drowned.” “…I love you,” Mo Ran interrupted him, but his confession sounded like a feeble excuse. He winced at his own words, trying to figure out what to say, but his mind made him stutter like an imbecile “How… how could I let you go?”  “It’s not love,” Chu Wanning denied, but then he fell silent, as his eyes met Mo Ran’s steady gaze.  “It’s true that I heard your songs way before I ever saw you,” Mo Ran nodded, noticing Wanning’s face go pale at his plural use of the “songs” word. “But it was only when I met you that my heart was really affected. And you never uttered a word in my presence back then. You were very cautious and closed off, and I respected your boundaries… I don’t know what happened last night, but it won’t happen again, I swear.”  “You were affected,” Chu Wanning stated, shivering, and it took every ounce of Mo Ran’s self-preservation not to wrap his hands around him. He knew Wanning was probably cold, but all he could do now was watch him shiver and hope the fire in the hearth provided enough warmth. He was afraid to see Wanning repulsed by his touch.  “I was affected,” Mo Ran confessed, feeling total humiliation. “The things I said to you were horrible, and there’s no way I will ever be able to explain them to you, but I think I was affected that much because I already loved you. To me, you are the most important person in this world, yet I feel like I failed you.”  “I am the one who failed you, Mo Ran,” Chu Wanning whispered under his breath, his knuckles going chalk-white. “There was no way you could resist me. I am a siren, and it’s true that it is in our nature to seduce men. The only thing you could really do to break my spell was kill me.” Mo Ran shook his head violently, looking at Wanning in pure shock.  “You wanted me to kill you?!..”  “You won’t be able to break my spell unless I’m dead,” Chu Wanning was grim. “It will probably become even worse with time. Do you really not see that what you feel for me is all wrong?”  “What’s wrong with loving someone?” Mo Ran’s eyes narrowed into slits.  “I haven’t said loving someone is wrong. It’s just that you can’t love me.”  “Why?”  That question made Chu Wanning pause. He shot Mo Ran a fierce glance, but for some reason, all Mo Ran could read in his eyes was the fragility that he was so desperately trying to hide. “Do you remember how you said that when you heard my song through the storm, you lost control of your boat and almost drowned, trying to reach the source of the sound?” Wanning wondered. “It wasn’t the first time I heard you singing,” Mo Ran shrugged, confused. “I just never had a chance to reach you. Why would you ask?”  “It’s not normal to risk your life in the storm just to hear the voice of someone you even don’t know,” Chu Wanning sighed. “This is not love.”  “But if I were deaf, or never have heard you, would you be so convinced I’m not in love?” Mo Ran probed.  Chu Wanning frowned, betraying his confusion.  “This isn’t the case, so what’s the point?” “I want to say, that your songs are amazing, Wanning, but they are just… songs. However, you are the person I feel drawn to, even though you don’t speak with me most of the time. I love everything about you, and even though your voice can affect me, I trust you enough to place my very life and sanity in your hands… I know I fucked up, but it won’t ever happen again.”  Chu Wanning looked shaken. He opened and closed his mouth several times, as if not knowing what to say. “Don’t you know how dangerous the sirens are?” he wondered after a long pause, but he sounded much less convinced than before. “Why would you want to place your life in the hands of a predator?”  “I know you aren’t going to kill me, so don’t try to convince me otherwise,” Mo Ran chuckled. “You are the most harmless and adorable predator I know of.”  “But you felt affected in my presence,” Chu Wanning pointed out. “What you did to me was because you felt drawn to me.”  That made Mo Ran go serious again.  “Yet you never harmed me,” he whispered, avoiding Wanning’s eyes. “You probably had every right to defend yourself, but you never did. You just let me… do things to you. Why?”  Chu Wanning coughed, turning away, but his neck and ears turned red, contrasting with his pale skin.  “You didn’t want to harm me,” Mo Ran guessed. “You were so worried about me that you kept enduring, just to protect me from the effects of your voice…” As comprehension hit Mo Ran, a ray of hope suddenly managed to penetrate the bleakness in his heart.  What if Chu Wanning was secretly in love with him?.. Otherwise, why would he want to go to such lengths only to protect someone he didn’t care about?.. Mo Ran risked looking in Chu Wanning’s direction once again only to find him sitting with his shoulders sagged and his dark gaze empty.  He seemed utterly destroyed. Broken from the inside.  “What about your feelings?” Mo Ran finally asked. “Is there someone you love?”  Chu Wanning was silent. This obviously wasn’t the question he expected, and he wasn’t willing to elaborate.  “If there’s someone you love and this isn’t me, I will let you go,” Mo Ran continued, as he watched Wanning’s face go totally blank. “But if there’s any chance you like me, and you aren’t repulsed by me after what I’ve done, I want you to let me stay with you,” he added in a soft whisper, keeping his gaze glued to Wanning, watching how the man’s lips suddenly trembled, betraying his nervousness. “The decision is yours. I know I threatened you this morning in many ways, but this isn’t how I really feel about you. Wanning… I’m not afraid of you and never was nor will be. I know there’s no danger for me when I’m with you, and I want you to give me a chance.”  Chu Wanning fell silent for a very long time. Mo Ran couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in his head, but he held on to the thought that Wanning probably really liked him more than he tried to show. If this was the case, perhaps they still had a slim chance to be together. “Do you understand that next time you call me “baobei” or “an obedient siren” I’m going to throw you back into the sea?” Wanning suddenly asked.  First, Mo Ran thought there was a mistake, because how could Wanning say something like that. Then, he looked at Chu Wanning and met his steady gaze. “So there is going to be next time…” Mo Ran blinked, not letting himself feel relieved because it was too early to believe Wanning was going to forgive him. It seemed impossible. “I hadn’t said that,” Chu Wanning reiterated, but deep crimson blush was already spreading down his neck.  But his eyes stayed on Mo Ran’s face all the time.  He was watching him intently. “If you let me stay with you, I’ll call you any way you want,” Mo Ran smiled, trying to joke, but his eyes were filled with unspoken promises. He knew his voice sounded strangled because he felt unexpected tears clogging his throat from emotions he never knew ran so deep. He was so in love that it hurt to speak. Somehow the only thought that Wanning was ready to let him in once again almost broke his heart.  He knew it was difficult for Chu Wanning even to contemplate being together with him because he still looked so hurt and distant, but still, he said something like that, giving Mo Ran a ghost hope. This was enough to bring him to his knees. “You sang of love and joy to me,” Mo Ran continued, now turning serious, yet still too afraid to scare Wanning away with his intensity. “But my only wish was always to give all that love to you.” He paused because Chu Wanning was now about to cry. Crystal-clear tears shimmered in his dark eyes. Mo Ran hesitated because he wasn’t sure if he really had to tell this, but the words were already there, they were burning his tongue, waiting to be released. “My heart has already made its choice. You can let me stay with you, or ask me to go. But you can’t forbid me to love you. So I ask you now, do you want me to stay?” One heartbeat passed. Then another.  Chu Wanning went so still that it seemed he stopped breathing. Silent tears already streamed down his pale cheeks, dropping from his chin. Mo Ran wanted to come to him immediately, to let him cry on his shoulder and whisper consolations in his ear, letting him know he was going to cherish him and love him for a lifetime. He wanted to kiss Wanning’s eyes, hoping his love would be able to heal the pain. He wanted to hold Wanning to him, ensuring he was safe within his arms. But he needed Chu Wanning to let him know if he wanted him to stay first. “If I ask you to go, you won’t be able to stay apart from me, no matter how hard you try,” Chu Wanning muttered under his breath, “so I believe I have no choice in this matter. I don’t want you to go insane because of me.”  “But you still can ask me to go,” Mo Ran pointed out. “If you don’t want my love, why would I make you feel responsible for my feelings? This isn’t how it is supposed to be. If anyone has to die, it’s me. Not you.” “Mo Ran!” Chu Wanning cut him off midsentence, looking horrified.  “Mo Ran…” he repeated his name again, but now his voice trembled as if he was trying to muster the courage for what he intended to say. “Mo Ran… please. I want you to stay. Don’t go.”