school students, obviosly

      Until high school, Jisung didn't really think about whether he needed to have friends or not. Whether he needed to join the community or not. Nobody even told him the basic rules of etiquette. It all worked out for him anyway. He represents his talent to start a conversation with nothing. It turned out that he was never alone.              It seemed that nothing could spoil his beginning young school life. Could. And this is something - a transitional age. If you have ever seen a person who has changed beyond recognition during his growing up - forget it. Only a few can boast of what Kan has achieved.               Complete alienation.               From friends, from family and from myself. A fourteen year old child was lost. He didn't know where he was, why everything around him seemed so hostile and why adults wanted to start a conversation with him. Consequently, the dialogue also assumed something adult and serious.               Jisung didn't want all of this. He didn't ask anyone to help him grow faster. He didn't ask for these sudden changes in his life, from changing classes to his parents' nonsensical remarks about his behavior and affecting the future.              Children are not robots, they cannot solve such large-scale, in their opinion, problems on their own. Even with support, this is not always possible. And that's why there are non-stop thoughts that everything is bad. It would be better if this all ended. Kan just wants to be understood. To be really understood how hard it was for him. That he can't handle. But no one even paid attention when the burning flame went out.               And instead of the keys in the hands were a pen and a page stained with blood.       

♡

              Internal anxieties gradually began to fade into the background, as soon as he showed up a couple of times at school. A place soaked with sweet lies and tenderness of children's everyday life, which at night flowed out screaming from a dark room.               Everyone tries to surpass the other, everyone invents unattainable ideals for themselves and tries to adapt to them. A complex, confusing system that is far from being related to learning. The team spirit in all ninth grades is absent, which is expected from this age. Nobody wants to be embarrass, be a burden, an anchor that will be laughed at because he is too light and doesn't keep the ship afloat.               Plus, raging hormones are added to all this. Something that makes almost everyone go crazy, try to get attention from the sex of interest, dominate the weak and control all the processes that are happening around.                      Jisung didn't even have to dig deep to figure out what was what. He already knew that the year wouldn't be easy. He knew that troubles would come along the way. And he knew that someday someone would cross his path.            Joint physics lesson.        Run two laps without stopping. The temperature is over twenty-five. Kan may be strong, but definitely not in speed running. He hates to run. And he’s not even surprised when someone from behind decides to cut him off, blocking the path in front of him, and run out right in front of Jisung. This stupid shaved back of the head is immediately recognizable. He only knows how to substitute everyone and everywhere. Even manages to turn around, motherfucker.              — Good luck, skinny, — Minho said in response to the sizzling glare and rushed forward, speeding up his run.            Pool.        End of the lesson. Almost dry swimming trunks and slippery flip flops on my feet. Han is cold from the autumn wind that blows through the students as they listen to the teacher. Of course, out of nowhere, the same group of uncouth macaques appears that terrorize everyone in a row with their pretentious behavior and loud laughter with unsuccessful jokes.               — Your legs are clubfoot like a girl, — an already recognizable voice is heard from behind.          Unsuspecting, Jisung and Felix turn towards the noise and see Lee standing right behind them. Stands and looks straight at Jisung without looking away.          – Something else? – lowering the tone of his voice, Lix asks with interest and begins to quietly crunch his fingers.        – No, – Minho smiles, – it just looks silly.            Even the school corridor.          – Oops.          This phrase sounded exactly at the moment when Jisung was pushed on the way to the teacher's room with a stack of obscure papers. It was necessary to earn a reputation with Seungmin so that he could later help out with passes. Therefore, Han deigned to convey this waste paper. But now he just looked at the scattered sheets on the floor and realized that this was the last straw.          – Can you fucking watch where you’re going? – almost shouts throughout the corridor, not afraid of sudden teachers around the corner. – Fucked me up already.          And, bending down, begins to pick up documents. Jisung was left without a big break and a delicious lunch. Thank you very much, Lee Minho.          – Anime girl needs help? – continues to stand still, laughing.        – One broken nose wasn’t enough for you? – sheets in hand, he lifts his head towards Minho, trying his best not to get up and start a fight.        – Are you threatening me?        – You annoy me, – Han breathed. – Fuck off.        – I don’t want to, – Lee stepped on the piece of paper that Jisung was about to pick up and looked down at him imperiously.        – You asked for it yourself, – folding the papers to the side, he half rose and swung at the face – an egocentric core. But his hand was intercepted almost immediately.        – You're no match for Felix, – chuckling, Minho looks at Jisung up and down. Then he pulls him a little closer, jerking his thin wrist defiantly, and runs his hand through Han's unkempt hair.          Jisung freezes in place, trying not to breathe. What's happening?          – So fluffy, – he continues this for a couple more seconds, but then let the guy go.          And, stepping over the lying papers, he goes further down the corridor, leaving Jisung with pairs of antennas on his head.          – Fluffy? – strokes the mess, trying to understand the meaning of the whole dialogue. Did the sun bake into his head, or what?