The Promise

      Mikasa was lying on something hard. Hot rays slid across her face, and she abruptly opened her eyes, immediately squinting from the bright light. Memories flooded in — the battle, Eren’s death, charred earth, and dead bodies everywhere. She wanted to jump up and run to check on everyone, but her head felt heavy as if it was filled with lead. She couldn’t get up, but she slowly tried to open her eyes again, turning away so that the light wouldn’t hit her sensitive pupils. After blinking away a few teardrops, Mikasa was able to look around. Nothing reminded her of any battle. She was lying on a soft carpet of fragrant herbs and flowers. Her body was basking in the rays of the bright summer sun, feeling relaxed and at ease. The anxiety suddenly began to melt away, as if it had never existed at all. She didn’t remember what happened, but she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to go back to the nightmare she was living in.       Mikasa propped herself up on her elbows. In the distance stood a small log cabin, hidden in the shade of trees with a fluffy crown.       “Hey, why are you lying down, you’ll get your clothes dirty.”       Mikasa was left speechless. The familiar voice echoed aching in her chest, squeezing her heart so hard that it seemed like it would burst from the strain. Mikasa abruptly lifted her head up, feeling how the world suddenly started to spin, and then lowered it back down to the ground, pressing her hot hand to her forehead. It was hot as well.       “Captain?”       “No, your mother, get up, brat.”       Levi, with concern in his eyes and irritation in his voice, gave her a hand, helping her, staggering, to get up. Mikasa dusted herself off not without Levi’s help, brushed off the blades of grass and leaves from her light dress, hearing Levi’s displeased grumbling that she could lay a blanket over the grass if she was going to sleep in the meadow, and looked around uncomprehendingly. How did she end up here? Why doesn’t she remember anything? Was she really sleeping so soundly?       “You shouldn’t lie under the sun like this, it’s too hot, and you’ve got a fever”. Levi continued to examine her and, putting a cold hand to her forehead, frowned with concern.       A pleasant warmth was spreading in Mikasa’s chest. She always felt so nice and calm around Levi. The touch of his caring hands helped her not to lose heart, and now they gently escorted her into the house. Even though he was grumbling about her being reckless again, there was a soft smile on his face.       Mikasa didn’t want to think about it. Surely she just got too hot under the rays of the summer sun. Mikasa sat down at the table and took a warm cup of tea with honey and milk in her hands. The light curtains were fluttering in a light breeze, and Mikasa was looking out of the window, gazing at a small orchard. Exactly. They planted these trees together. How could she forget about it? Gradually, memories of how they ended up together came back to her head, how they moved to this house on the very outskirts, away from everyone, locked in their quiet little world.       The house exuded comfort and tranquility. Every detail was picked up by them — this flower was given to her by Levi, and Mikasa tried to take care of this terribly whimsical plant, which constantly tried to wither, despite all her efforts. The cup from which she drank, Mikasa bought herself, once walking through the market. They chose this house and arranged it together, helping each other to cope with all the losses and grief.       Now the pain has subsided, yielding only to melancholy and leaving slight sadness. Now she had everything she dreamed of: a cozy home, a quiet place, and the only person who was truly dear to her.       Levi, passing by, gently stroked her shoulder, kissing the top of her head.       “Is everything okay?”       He paused for a moment, looking out of the window with her. Mikasa looked up at him: the terrible wounds had healed long ago, leaving behind only a whitish huge scar — an eternal reminder of the nightmare they had experienced. On her shoulder rested his hand with the remaining three fingers. Mikasa knew that his whole palm ached for the rain and that his knee still did not allow him to walk for too long, but besides that, everything was fine with him, and only this made her rejoice every new day. They survived and were finally able to enjoy a quiet and peaceful life together.       “Yes.”       She ran her hand gently over his, and Levi leaned in. Mikasa gently touched his face, pulling him to her, leaving a weightless kiss on his lips.       Her chest was overflowing with tenderness. She did not think that after all that tragedy she would be able to feel love again, but the mental wounds had healed as well as the physical ones, leaving behind only some slight fleeting bitterness.

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      Mikasa woke up in the middle of the night, not understanding why her heart was pounding so hard in her chest. It was beating like a caged bird, with its wings brushing against the thin metal bars. Mikasa was breathing heavily, her body broke out in a sweat, and she wanted to immediately snuggle up to Levi, feel him next to her, and hug him tighter. She was often haunted by nightmares and strange, life-threatening bouts of overwhelming fear and feelings of loss. She knew that as soon as she was in his arms, she would feel better at once.       Mikasa turned around, looking for the silhouette of a man sleeping under a large blanket in the dark, and touched his hand, though not wanting to wake him up, still hoping that he would. “Levi…” she whispered into the darkness when the touch didn’t help.       “What, honey?” The sleepy voice made her heart sink as if she had been thrown from a great height. Hot tears gushed out in a rapid stream, burning her cheeks.       “Another nightmare?” Jean didn’t seem to hear who she was calling, just pulled her to him, getting back into bed. Mikasa felt his hands stroking her back and could not stop the flow of tears. She just nodded at his question, trying to calm herself down. She was trembling all over. Nightmare. Yes. The most terrible dream of all that she could have dreamed. Just a dream, tearing her apart, turning the soul inside out. It would be better for her to relive the last battle over and over again than to dream of the impossible.       Levi didn’t last even for a couple of months. The wounds were too severe. Mikasa spent his last night with him, holding his hand, not ready to accept that he was leaving her, that he was fading right before her eyes. He promised that he would not leave her, and he kept his promise, visiting her in the dreams.