Guilt

      Bella ran away. The tears from her eyes prevented her from following the road properly. The lanterns were blurring, the sound of flopping flip flopples was treacherously noisy. It was raining. The girl’s head was spinning, but she had to run. From behind, there were violent cries of people unknown to her, who fled in a group of five people. One of them, stopping and at the same time taking something heavy out of his backpack, threw something into poor Bella. The object hit her hand, flying forward, from which the girl almost fell, despite her already sore arm. Desperately sighing, Bella turned into the forest, hoping for salvation there.       Maybe when they get lost in the woods, strangers will fall behind her?       The legs lead themselves, the eyes are almost closed, the breath is knocked down… it is not known how long it was, but the screams were no longer heard. Bella finally slowed down, then she already began to feel pain in her feet and shins. Looking for a place to rest, Bella was breathing heavily. There were these damn two pieces of bread in her bag that she wanted to give to the starving Asya who was with her… friend? but the military from another country clung to her.       Bella stopped near the most massive oak she could find and sat down to rest. She wanted to eat, but she can’t, these two pieces of bread, already soaked in the rain, are for her friend. There was no strength, and Bella fell asleep. The girl woke up at dawn, everything hurt. Then she already noticed that on her right hand there was a huge bruise and a scratch smeared in sand and mud. Panicing, Bella began to take out wet wipes from her bag, and when she found them, she began to frantically wipe the dirt, already imagining how she would die from blood infection. My hands were shaking either from the cold wind in the morning or from fear. Finally, after wimbing all the dirt from the wounds, Bella exhaled with relief. Taking the bag, the girl went back (the heroine knows this forest since childhood, and this oak too). Barely moving her legs, Bella began to dig in the bag. Having hidden two pieces of bread at the very bottom from all sorts of ants and other unclean things in advance, she took them higher. On one piece there was dirt, which the girl decided to cut off from Michael. Remembering him, the girl accelerated and almost ran to him. Ten minutes later, she saw his old house, which was shelled the other day. It is said that they were people from whom Michael’s family occupied. But Bella knew it was the military. He only has a sister left. Suddenly the girl became ill, her legs became cotton, and she could not resist and fell on her knees, her head was spinning, everything was muddy. Bella is scared, she started blinking with the hope that everything will get better in a moment. It didn’t stop for a long time and began to scream and cry out of despair, calling someone for help. But no one responded. “Where is Misha, Misha, don’t you hear? I feel bad, help me.” The girl’s gaze spoke, asked, begged and begged. She fell silent for a moment. Raising her head, she saw a silhouette. Michael was standing in front of her. She couldn’t see his expression, but she heard him clearly: “Asya died, you’re late” “I… the military tried to kill me” Blow. “Again, you only think about yourself.” He took her by the hand and dragged her into the house. He didn’t regret it, and seemed to wrap it up sharply on purpose so that bruises and cuts would remain on it. Bella screamed out of pain or despair. She couldn’t believe she was late. “How… she couldn’t starve to death in 24 hours, she ate well yesterday morning, didn’t she? She didn’t die of hunger… I wasn’t thinking about myself, but about Asya. Michael — you’re wrong.” Bella squatted down and held herself in the doorway with her free hand with such force that the wooden, long-lacquered door shook and sawdust fell on the girl. It became quiet. Michael was in the shadows and lowered her hand. He left the room into the hallway. Bella looked up: there was a fragile body on the table. Asya! Bella, limping, ran to the table and looked at her face, it no longer smiled, did not shine with happiness and joy, did not feel any emotions anymore, it was not soothing, it was… empty. It wasn’t Asya, Asya wasn’t here anymore, it’s just her body. Asya’s little soul is no longer in her cold body, but has been looking at us for a long time. She wasn’t hungry, she died full. She began to look at the clothes and all sorts of wounds and saw bruises and hickeys hidden under the clothes, under which strangers would not climb. Anger and disgust. She was ten incomplete years old.He loved her, she considered him a friend, he saw her as a woman, she saw him as a reliable friend. Bella saw a knife lying on the bedside table, and took it and walked down the corridor to one single room — the bedroom, where she hoped to find evidence. Thoughts got mixed up, there was nothing around her, only black 4 walls and unloved Michael, to whom there was only a feeling of dislike and nausea: “You’re crazy, I know how she died.” His face was not self-confident. He looks defenseless, crying, looking for peace in his mother’s photo. While Bella was gone, he broke all the male photos, his knuckles on his fingers were in blood. he smiled and cried, screaming: “Father… I took your example!” After that, the guy already noticed a girl with a knife on the doorstep. Her face showed him all her dislike, he realized that she knew everything. His head was spinning, he couldn’t get up normally and barely muttered: “After all, today I turned fourteen, you should remove the knife…” She didn’t move and only watched his pathetic appearance. Michael, like a cornered kitten, doesn’t know where to go or what to say in his excuse. “How did I love him?” Bella said to herself, looking at the guy’s eyes red with tears. She came closer to him. “Please, it’s in the past, I didn’t want to, I didn’t think, I wasn’t myself then, I’m only thirteen, how could I think, understand, understand me! We all… We all had to grow up early…” She didn’t move, and her expression didn’t change. Michael began to scream and mumble, try to take the knife from her hands, touched her face, as long as she said something. Let her call him a dirty pig, or a monster, or forgive him, let him, let him not be silent. But she was silent. Michael stopped and stunned moved away from her, finding scissors with his eyes, he exhaled hoarsely: “You raised your long hair for me, you love me. I understood, I loved you, but far away in my soul, trying to find solace in the beautiful Asya. I love short hair.” He grabbed the scissors and stood behind the girl, picking up her brown hair. “War… death… you have a gray hair, what have you experienced during these days of struggle?” Hair fell to the floor continuously “Now I like you. I love you — you wanted to hear it.” Bella shuddered. Michael circled her waist with his hands and pulled her to him, resting on her shoulder, his breath burned her cheek. Disgusting. He pressed her closer and harder, Bella became hard to breathe. She tried to escape, but in vain, her hands clutched her tightly. The knife flew to the side. She rushed aside and, tripping over someone else’s foot, hung, which made her sick. “Please Michael, I feel bad, let go…” He let go. Bella fell on her knees, but, hitting the bulging nail, shouted and tore her knee to blood. “Hush.” Michael covered her mouth with his palm, trying to lift her with his weak hands. He dragged her closer to the closet and, opening the door, shoved the girl inside. Instantly and unmistakably, as if he was not doing it for the first time, he closes the closet and puts the key into a small hole under the cabinet so that Bella could easily get out in the future, finally, pressing her head against the crack, he was going to say something, but kept silent. Only a few seconds later, Bella heard heavy footsteps into their room and moved away from the crack in fear so that she would not be seen. There was a deafening sound and a whistle. It’s a machine gun. The girl held back her mouth so as not to make moans of pain from the wound, and a squeak from a sharp clap. Trembling, she tried not to move and listened to the situation. Someone was crawling in the kitchen, there was no one in the room. Deciding to move to inspect the room, she met an eye looking directly at her. She squealed and held the door in panic, but the weakness did not allow her to last long. The unknown man safely opened the door and threw it clearly and loudly, looking at the girl’s condition: “I can alleviate your suffering.” Bella sobbed, hoping that she would wake up now and what was still ahead. She hadn’t had a breath of life yet, but she was ashamed in front of Asya. Asya, forgive the poor girl for not being able to come earlier! “Who are you?” “We are your enemies.” Hands are down, the situation is inevitable. “Put me next to Asya, please.” She looked at them somehow as an adult. The military sighed, and for a moment it seemed that he had shed a tear. Raising the child’s crippled body in his arms, he took her to the kitchen, muttering: “What are the children to blame for… I can’t, no, I can’t do it!” His colleague transferred the girl to Asya. Bella didn’t think or dream about anything anymore, but turning her face to Asya, she cried: “She didn’t deserve such a death! She was too young, she was too hurt… please kill me hurt, I don’t want to feel guilty in front of her!” Bella didn’t suffer, and no one else felt guilty.