Merry Christmas, Peter, Peter, Peter

Aunt May was admiring her reflection in the mirror and winked mischievously at herself. Then she turned to her nephew. — What did you say are your new friends' names, those who will come to the party? Peter rolled his eyes and answered tenth time: — Peter and Peter, — he could forgive excessive meticulousness to the aunt, because she had just checked out from the hospital. — Maybe we will call them by their surnames? — she put down her lipstick and went to the kitchen. If this time their home was full of guests, all would need to be ideal. Peter stuck a third Spiderman toy to the Christmas tree, looked with pleasure around his result of labor and followed to the kitchen too. — They both are Parker. — Brothers? — No. It would be strange to call two brothers with the same names. — But it is funny from the other side. Just imagine — three brothers Peters Parkers. — You would know, if I had brothers, — Peter chuckled. — But if you and Happy decide to give birth to a cousin to me, I hope that you come up with a better name. Aunt May clicked her tongue and gave a slap to her nephew. — We broke up, you know. — Happy told me that it is just a temporary break in your relationships. — An endless break. — Well, I hope that is not. You are an excellent couple, even mister Stark says so. — You and mister Stark are better not to put your noses into other people’s business, — frowned aunt May. — If he comes today, I will tell him everything! Peter hurried to change the dangerous theme, delaying a joke about cousin not to forget to play a trick on Happy too. — He will celebrate with his family at his mansion, I am afraid. His ego probably won’t fit into a small NewYork`s flat, as Doctor Strange said. — Will Steven come too? — Aunt May waved her hands and went to the refrigerator again. This amount of cake dough won’t be enough for this number of guests. She took two packs of sour cream and, thinking for a moment, took everything that they bought to make cakes for a shelter. Nobody leaves their house hungry today! She put sour cream to the already ready dough and stretched out her hand to the flour and returned to the previous theme of discussion. — So, what about Peters? How will we distinguish them? Peter shrugged, saying an obvious variant: — Well, we distinguished each other by numbers. So, you can call them Peter Two and Peter Three. — Absolutely not! — Aunt May indignantly slammed the spatula from the dough on the table and it splashed in all directions. There can`t be a second or a third, all of you need to be the first! — Then we will just get confused, — Peter took a rag for cleaning from the sink and started to clean his darling party shirt from the dough. His idea was amazing, after all he could take number one to him, because this was his universe. But if decided by age or by spider man’s experience, numbering will not be on his side. — So how do you propose to distinguish all of us? — Well, maybe by any identification marks? What makes them stand out? Peter scratched the back of his head. — They both are cool. And they both are Spider-Men. — Excellent, — now it was Aunt May’s turn to roll her eyes. — But besides that, what can you tell about them? — One of them is very cheerful. — Good, — nodded Aunt May. — It fits! One will be cheerful, and the other… — Sad, — Peter threw up his hands. — Not acceptable! — radical and predictable. — Think more! Festive mood looked like the mood before the battle with villains — Peter was very nervous, his thoughts were fleeing and didn’t want to suggest the right answers. — Maybe we will distinguish them by age? The eldest, the middle, the junior. — The middle sounds bad. — The old, the eldest, the junior? — Absolutely not! — The old, the eldest and just Peter? — Will the middle be just “Peter”? — No. I will. — Then it will break the whole logical chain, — Aunt May shook her head again. The bell rang and Peter went to open the door fussily. Maybe this walk to the door would help him to come up with something original. — Merry Christmas! — MJ and Ned were staying on the doorstep. MJ was wearing a cute elf costume which apparently her boss from her part-time job in the cafe had forced her to wear. And it was really cool! She looked even more cute and allure than always. — Merry Christmas! — Peter opened his arms for MJ, but suddenly Flash appeared and lended to them. He patted Peter on the back and invited himself to come in, immediately heading for delicious smells from the kitchen. — We didn’t call him, dude, — chuckled Ned, settling down into reopened for MJ hugs. He repeated Flashes maneuver following the smell exactly the same. Merry chatter of Aunt May and guys was already spreading from the kitchen. Peter just in case looked around and, slamming shut the door, reopened hugs the third time, but he was interrupted again. Exactly between him and MJ a portal opened up and quite drunk mages fell out of it. — Thank you for your invitation, — Strange patted Petter on the shoulder, heading into the living room and immediately took an armchair with Christmass tree view near the still empty table. — As a supreme, hic, mage, — Wong was slowly stirring his tongue, — I am very happy to accept your invitation. In fact, it was Steven who invited Wong, because he was too shy to go to Parker`s family Christmas celebration alone. But Peter was still happy for him, because tipsy Wong always lost his sense of responsibility. He waved one of his sleeves — and Christmas caramels scattered from it, densely dotted the hallways floor. He waved another sleeve — and a huge bowl of festival punch appeared. Wong poured punch into the glass which he brought with him and, winking to Peter, went to the table and sat into the same chair with Steven, moved him to an armrest. Peter decided to leave magues to defend their mages position in private, hoped, that they wouldn’t break anything, while the christmas pie was being cooked. — Merry Christmas! — MJ smiled, finally hugging Peter. — We brought donuts from the cafe. Peter was very happy for donuts, because his Spider-sense prompted, that today there would be more guests than he with an Aunt May had planned. And it would be a bad idea to make her overwork after hospital. Peter went to the kitchen, where Aunt May was chatting with guys and with Happy, who had appeared out of nowhere. — Merry Christmas, Peter! — Happy pushed up his Christmas underpants. Did he spend the night here? — Haven’t you broken up?! — exclaimed Peter, looking into an absolutely not-ashamed aunt’s face. — Just a temporary break, — Happy corrected him. — Broken up, — confirmed May. — But, you know, sweaty, it happens with adult people… — I don’t want to listen to anything! — Peter suddenly remembered that he was just a teenager and didn’t want to listen to any details of aunt`s intimate life. He turned around, sure that they would sort out the pie without him, took dishes with salads from the table and retired to set the table. There was no free space on the table, because right in the center of it there was a second huge bowl of punch. Mages were continuing sitting on the same seats, shoving like schoolboys, each didn’t agree to retreat, so the closeness of the punch was very handy. Or they just organized alcohol competitions — who knows. And Peter even thought that the punch in the bowl didn’t decrease, no matter how much they drank. MJ came next after Peter, set plates on free space around the bowl. There were too many plates — more than guests so far. — What do you think? — for some reason Peter was embarrassed. Before this he imagined near-family Parker`s Christmas differently. — Pretty good, — MJ came closer and gave Peter a kiss on the nose. — That’s funny. — Ha-ha. I am pleased. — By the way, — Strange vaged into the conversation. — Are other Peters coming? I`d like to show them to Wong. — They are, — nodded Peter. — But you should open a portal for them by the way. — Of course, hic, — grounted Wong. — Now, when the matter between the worlds becomes so thin after your tricks, everybody can go back and forth, back and forth, hic. The doorbell rang again, and the opening lock immediately clicked. — Merry Christmas, — Stark`s family entered the living room which suddenly became too small. Tony Stark, who had opened the pleasure of hugs some time ago, wrapped Peter in the strong embrace, squeezing him until he got crunches. — I missed you, boy. He had become too sentimental in the last time, but Peter liked it. Paper waved to all, and put on the table a huge fry blue turkey with six legs, which was the same size as the bowl of a punch. For sure this turkey was growed not without genetic modifications of Stark: after he left weapon development, he tried to find himself in unexpected areas. Paper and her daughter proceeded to the kitchen, crunching caramels underfoot, to know if somebody needed help. Stark pulled his festive bow tie and nanobots gathered into a chair in front of him which was one and a half times bigger than the mages chair. He poured himself the punch and sat down relaxing with closed eyes pretending that he didn’t notice the mages. Strange gnashed his teeth sensing (having sensed) a new rival, and ultimately got up from the chair into pretentious stance, unevenly waving his right hand. — Open, Sesame, — the golden ring of the portal sparkled in front of Stark`s nose, and Peter and Peter, dressed into Spider-Man`s suits, but without their masks, fell right to his lap. They looked like they hadn’t been saving the world before that, but had been doing something else. — Oh! — exclaimed cheerful Peter. — We completely forgot that it is time! — Well, not that we forgot, — the other Peter smiled predatorily. — I`m so glad to see both of you! — Peter gestured with his hand around the room that was almost full. Everyone who was in the kitchen came to check what was happening here. — Please, sit down… somewhere. Peter joyfully greeted home owners/hosts, kissed Aunt May on her cheek, helped set the table, and sat into a free chair near the mages. The second Peter greeted all too and sat to first Peter`s knees, answering silent questions: — We are dating now, — Peter put his hand around Peter`s neck in a business-like way. Peter smiled wickedly. Peter blushed. Peter was dumbstruck. — They are definitely not brothers, — agreed Aunt May.