Chapter 1. The last chapter.
November 15, 2023 at 4:47 AM
Dear Peter,
Sweet Pettie,
Fuck you Peter,
Peter,
You are the worst person in my entire life. I’ve never met anyone worse than you. And you know what’s the worst thing in this story? Love.
What kind of love? A really simple. Although no, it’s not simple. It’s so fucking complicated. You didn’t even notice the way I looked at your every fucking time I saw you. Oh, wait! I think I know what’s wrong… you’re a piece of shit. You knew all along. YOU. KNEW. I. LOVED. YOU. Do you have any idea how I felt when this turned out to be a fucking argument WITH YOUR FREAKING FRIENDS? No honey you don’t. It was just a fucking arguing to be “friends” with me because I’m ugly fucking loser.
You started to “appreciate” me in 4th grade. I thought that’s it! Finally this guy started thinking about our friendship and maybe even fell in love with me. Bullshit, bullshit, BULLSHIT. It was a fucking argument. And only 5 years later I found out about it. The arguing. Have all these years of friendship with such a bitch like you been in vain? Yes. Definitely yes. Every time, seeing my feelings, you hugged everyone on every corner. Did you like to see me, lowering my eyes and stuttering, saying that I need to do my homework? A fucking sadist. And no, this is the least of what you did to me.
After all those fucking kisses with those girls, you came up to me and talked to me as if nothing had happened. You hugged me, burying your face in my hair. Because that’s what all best friends do. And like a fool, I came home and smelled my hair after you. So funny, right? Are you laughing, sweetie, reading this letter? I hope after reading you will die.
Do you remember April 1st? Of course you remember. I didn’t remember that it was April Fools’ day. You came up to me and, looking seriously into my eyes, kissed me. Me as the dumbest girl in the world started to deepen it. But tearing away from me you laughed. No, you laughed at the top of your worthless throat. How bad I wanted to kill you at that moment. And still want to. You looked at me strangely, and I was so embarrassed, but I explained my impulse by saying that it was also a prank. Not at all, I was head over heels in love with you. You’re a disgusting idiot — that’s what you are.
Do you remember the day you met Jessica? Oh yes, I remember him with tears in my eyes. You spent the night at my house and she called you on the phone. “Jessie” is the name in your phone. You went to the restroom and didn’t appear for more than 10 minutes. What did I see? Nothing except the way you jerked off while looking at the smartphone screen. The feedback was the sweet moans of Jessica. I puked.
After that situation, I couldn’t look at you normally. I think if I tell all the situations similar to these stories, it will be about 20 pages of writing. Funny, right?
If you still think that everything I listed is nonsense, then let me make your microscopic brain work and remember all your animal insides. Although I doubt you have a brain. You were dropped many times as a child. This is a statement, not a question.
What is important in friendship? Understanding, acceptance, help, support, devotion, honesty, equality, sincerity. Did you notice something? I don’t think so, but I will say: none of this is in our friendship. It all comes from one side only. From mine. Remind me how long we have been friends? Ten fucking years, now tell me: what is my favorite color, what do I like, what do I not like? I’m sure you’re silent. I know everything about you. A boy who likes the color blue, who loves to skateboard away from prying eyes, who only loves to cook banana muffins, who loves to play football with his dog in the backyard of the house. A boy who hates cats because they killed your favorite hamster as a child, who hates cigarettes because your father beat you in the 5th grade because he got busted you while smoking, who hates me. I appreciated you. And you hated me. Look how interesting it turns out, right?
Do you remember when we stopped communicating? I mean when did I cut off all ties with such a piece of shit like you? Can your brain remember this information? You insulted me. You humiliated me. you broke the fuck out of me. You killed me. I fucking cried for 5 days and didn’t leave the house for a month. And you didn’t give a fuck as always.
You’re asking, “What is this dumbass talking about?” I’m sure.
That was three months ago. You were drunk, terribly drunk. I’ve never seen you like this. But I hope you get drunk again so that you die later. You started saying how worthless I am, and who am I anyway, that you don’t want to know me, and you regret that you met me in the primary school. I wish I could turn back time. It would be better if I never approached the lonely, small, sad boy sitting on the bench at the end of the hall.
You haven’t changed a bit. You were a boy and still are a boy. You will always be a boy. You are the dumbest person. no dumber, idiot.
I hope you die. You ruined my life. I’ll break yours, I promise.
I hope you remember that I always keep my promises.
