Berlin blood

The days of working in the hospital flew by one after another. They flowed without any difference from each other. However, after meeting that strange officer to whom she gave the report about the cadets, he constantly popped up in her memories, something in his features seemed familiar to her. Intuition, which Hilda had never listened to, suddenly began to persistently tell her that she had something with this man and for good reason. Returning home, she wrote down all her thoughts in a diary. She loved, sitting in the evening, to re-read the notes made the day before. This was her little joy in life. Jacob rented a small apartment for them; it was a bit cramped, but comfortable. And now, sitting in one of the two rooms, she sat and wrote her thoughts. “That man looks too familiar to me. I was lost, the whole focus of my attention was focused on his features, which were deposited in my memory. However, no matter how hard I try, I can’t remember. Several times silhouettes and fragments of memories flashed before my eyes. But no faces, no names, nothing. All this seems pointless to me, maybe I’m wasting my time on this? And you need, like my colleagues, to think only about electricity bills, about your family and children? Starting to think about asking for a raise? And I, like a fool, keep trying to remember the person and my past life. Yes, apparently my mother was right when she called me different. And when I asked her why, she answered: “Your eyes sparkle differently, it’s immediately clear that you are not just a girl who dreams of getting married, you dream of marrying someone who will be equal to you and will be able to guide you through life, life.” She wrote the last word and put the diary aside. She looked at the lamp that stood in the corner of the room, at the curtains that hung on the window, and sighed. How gray everything was here. She is depressed by the atmosphere around her. Maybe she still hasn’t left the camp? Or maybe this is not what she needs in this life? She felt that there was energy inside her, that she was not just a person who could live her whole life the same way. She was created in order to pick flowers in the meadow, in order to make the most delicious cakes and then eat them with her husband, looking at the Alps and drinking cocoa. She was born to fall in love and immerse herself in the feeling that covers you, and you seem to comprehend the universe. She read and found confirmation of this many times that if you want to know wisdom, comprehend happiness, then you need love. Love is one of the roads to God and comprehension of life. Another is hope, but love and hope are intertwined. And one to some extent depends on the other. She was born for emotions that capture you, and you plunge into them headlong, and later you sit and remember these most beautiful moments. She was born for happiness, however, despite everything she is surrounded by now, nothing brings her joy. As if she is out of place, it seems to her that this is a dream and, when she wakes up, she will see what her soul wants. Alps, cocoa and the love of your life. “Hilda, I’m here,” Jacob, who returned with groceries, began putting them on shelves in the refrigerator. Hilda sat and watched this, but suddenly an idea popped into her head. — Jacob, tell me, have we known each other for a long time? — Jacob put down the bottle of milk and turned around. — Yes, what happened? — the first thing that alerted the girl was the look. He is tenacious and strict, a little nervous. — Tell me about my childhood? Or tell me where I worked before I met you? I probably shared this,” Jacob turned his back and began to pretend that he was busy with something, and he began to think about how to get out of the situation. Lie? No, she will remember sooner or later. Should I say I forgot? No, there will be a quarrel, this is important for every girl. “And you yourself still haven’t remembered these moments?” — Jacob decided to act differently — the question is the same. — No, I don’t remember. Will you tell me? Or don’t you remember? — Hilda stood up and, coming close to Jacob, peered into his eyes. — Or maybe you don’t know? — Why did you decide that? — Jacob remembered what they were taught. How to deceive beautifully. — Well, I don’t know, when I ask you, you never tell anything about us and never say what I was like. And you don’t help me remember. “The doctor said that you need to remember this yourself, without anyone’s help.” I can say that you were born in Stuttgart, your father and mother loved you very much, but you wanted independence, so you became a waitress. Later, when the war started, you became a nurse. — Okay, let’s say, well, how did we meet? — Well, how-how… I came up and asked: “Girl, would you like to look at the moon today?” And you agreed. “Today I will believe you,” Hilda walked away and went to bed, and Jacob exhaled. He mentally thanked Louise for the fact that while they were in the camp, she kept talking about him and Hilda. She washed her face with cold water and lay down. In recent days, Hilda has been sleeping very poorly and often wakes up. He just doesn’t dare take sleeping pills. And today, after tossing and turning restlessly half the night, she wakes up in a cold sweat due to a dream that is more like a vision. She stands in the middle of the station, and in front of her is a silhouette. She wants to cuddle or touch him, but the silhouette stands still, there are people and ordinary life around. And when Hilda nevertheless extends her hand to him, he leans forward and evaporates, saying: “You will meet me soon, just don’t miss me.”