Berlin blood

A week has passed since the events of that night, and outwardly Augustus has come to his senses. However, this was far from the case. On the outside, August seemed the same as usual, only even more emotionless, but inside, every day the emptiness grew stronger and stronger. He stared at the floor for hours. He couldn’t start work, so Charlotte took over all the reports and paperwork. He left his office less and less often, and refused the offer to go for a walk. He didn’t answer the phone when his friends called him, and only talked to Charlotte about business. The girl was upset by all this. She really missed his attention and his care, which turned out to be so easy to get used to. She felt like an abandoned toy in the company of an aloof and cold companion. It seemed that even the ice was warmer than him. Now he allowed himself to lash out at his subordinates, although previously he had been restrained and correct. In the end, Charlotte got tired of it, especially since one day August almost yelled at her too. This happened because of a bouquet of daisies that the girl brought to the office to freshen things up a little. It was lying on the table — Charlotte simply did not have time to put it in some vase — but its very appearance dispelled the grayness of the office. August then, as soon as he saw the flowers, threw them away without a moment’s hesitation. The girl was upset, she bought the bouquet herself, she wanted to be happy. She still did not understand why Augustus was offended by the flowers; it was almost impossible to assume that Augustus was jealous of her for someone: the man, with his attitude, made Charlotte remember what it means to be insecure. From then on, the girl began to avoid August herself. The reason was actually simple: his father, Scholz Sr., loved daisies — the flowers were always on the table in the living room, they were grown in the garden. For August, they became a symbol of several traumatic memories at once, and anxiety enveloped his mind as soon as he saw the bouquet. He didn’t tell her all this, he just burned her with an inflamed look. Charlotte, despite the fact that she was Scholz’s personal secretary, managed to reduce communication to an absolute minimum, and passed on the most trivial pieces of paper to visitors. She took work home and often ran away from the waiting room, not wanting to tolerate such treatment. She had enough of the bitter experience with Walter. August didn’t care at all. He was too focused on the past, he saw nothing and no one around him. Augustus was aware deep inside that he was hurting others, but his own pain, which suffocated him every minute, did not allow the man to sympathize with other people’s emotions. He would like to be on good terms with his sister! He was not the first to start this war, but he ended it. He looked at the folder with her case, at the photo where she was looking straight into the camera, as if into his eyes, and, tearing off the photo, he folded it into a notebook, in which he wrote down everything that happened. Now he only had Charlotte left, and he didn’t want to lose her. He would try to explain himself if, after a week of cruelty and a dozen insults, he managed to catch her and talk. She avoided him with the skill of a seasoned spy. It was only a day or two later that he had the chance to intercept the girl in the office. It was an ordinary Tuesday, she was returning from a tour of the camps, and was about to leave, but she did not succeed. August grabbed her hand, Charlotte screamed — he had been hiding until that moment and scared her. The man dragged her into his office, she resisted as best she could, but it was all useless. Panic seized her consciousness, it reminded her of that evening with Walter, she could not even scream, she only croaked: — What are you doing?! Having dragged her into the office, he locked the door. She looked at him angrily. My heart was pounding, driving blood through my body, and my ears were buzzing. “I just,” he came almost close, breathing heavily. “I just want to understand why you’re not at your workplace?” — He said this as calmly and as restrainedly as possible so that she would calm down — I went to the sites! “Charlotte turned her head away so that her eyes wouldn’t betray her feelings for him. — I do not mean it! — August was at his limit: no one dares lie to him! — I haven’t seen you for three days! — I write reports and you receive them, I do the work, what doesn’t suit you? — Charlotte Brown, don’t make me angry! — He muttered through his teeth. — you should work as before. — He took her chin and forced her to look into her eyes. — Why did it happen?! — She raised her voice. — Previously, you were okay with me working at home, but now you’re not okay with it. Oberscharführer August Scholz, if you think that I will tolerate inappropriate treatment, then I will return to the Gestapo! — Having said this, she walked away a meter. “No,” he looked through her. “No…” he repeated in shock. — No, not that! Do you really think I’ve become crazy? Why have I become like all those who kill by the hundreds?! — he approached her again, — Charlotte, dear Charlotte, please don’t leave me, I’ll be lost without you. He said this as if in delirium, he really went a little crazy. Charlotte inhaled indignantly, opening her mouth wide to say something. Closed it. She rubbed her forehead with a masculine movement and gathered her strength. “August, I don’t know if you can kill hundreds now, but you don’t go out anywhere, you’re rude to everyone, you lose your temper over trifles,” she took a breath, now the girl was almost screaming. — You threw away my flowers! I have to do all the work for you, even the workers are already saying, “Scholz has gone crazy.” And you don’t want to dissuade them. Here Charlotte stopped, because Augustus was looking in horror not even at her — at the floor. She, barely coping with the trembling, tried to calm down a little. “You can’t cope, and I can’t help you.” I don’t know what kind of relationship you and your sister had, but after your fight you behaved disgustingly. Do you need help. And now I’m talking about the psychiatrist. “She noticed the displeasure that flashed across his face. — August, I’m not kidding. — It is not true! Charlotte, oh my God, I don’t need help! You measure it by yourself, you want me to also be on pills, like a drug addict. The girl swallowed her insult. These words only proved the complete inadequacy of Augustus. She said bitterly: “You don’t understand, August.” Even addiction is better for you now than the state you are in… — I’m not crazy like you! — the man shouted, squeezing his head with his hands. Charlotte couldn’t stand it. There is a limit to her patience, especially since it was impossible to reach Augustus. The girl knew from her own experience how difficult it was to admit her own helplessness, turn to doctors, and allow herself to be trusted. But she herself now needed help, she was not much more stable than Scholz, and this “conversation” foreshadowed nightmares for her. — Open the door. — the girl said in an icy tone. — Open up, or you are no better than the murderers you are afraid to be like, because you dragged me here by force. The man became enraged, as if a string had snapped, and jumped up. Charlotte no longer had the strength to be afraid; nervous, uncontrollable, hot tears flowed down her cheeks. This sobered him up just enough to angrily open the door and let the girl out. He stood there, breathing heavily, listening to her heels click first on the empty corridor, then on the stairs. The knocking echoed loudly in my ears even when she had already left. August leaned against the wall. What has he done? He wanted to apologize. Apparently he really is an idiot. Out of anger, he took off his cap and threw it on the floor. Charlotte was riding in a half-empty tram due to the late hour, completely broken. No, she didn’t cry anymore. Augustus did not hesitate to hit her most painful points, never thought about her condition, never paid attention to how she felt. Resentment ate away at the girl’s former self-control. Arriving home, she went to her room and, without undressing, lay down on the bed. She covered her head with a blanket, wanting only one thing — silence. — Charlotte? — the sister came out of the living room. “I just…” she faltered as her voice shook, she didn’t want to show her weakness to her sister. — Leave me for a while. — Something happened? — Agnet ignored her request. She walked up to her sister and, throwing back the blanket, saw her tear-stained eyes. “Nothing,” the girl turned to the wall. “Charlotte, I’m your sister and I know that the last time you came like this was from a boarding house.” — Do you want to know the whole truth or only half? — She turned to her sister and wiped away her tears. “Of course, everything,” Agnet sat down on the edge of the bed and looked into her own face. — Do you remember that a week ago there was a purge of the SA? — Yes I remember. There was such a booth. They broke my shop window. “On that day, August had to kill his sister, since she was from this organization. And from then on he became not himself, he began to lash out at everyone and hide. Today he snapped at me too. Called me crazy when I just wanted to help him. — What did you tell him, since he reacted so violently? “I said he needs help and he can’t do it alone.” To which he replied that he was not as crazy as me. “And after that you left,” Agnet said more affirmatively than questioningly. — What else could I do? — Charlotte sat up on the bed. — He was unable to listen. “Charlotte, my dear sister,” she hugged her. “We are all crazy, our world is full of strange things, but people are such creatures, they will never admit that they are not themselves.” We live by the rules, we drive ourselves into the norm, but who sets these rules? Nobody can answer. And no one wants to stand out. That’s why it’s so difficult to admit that you’re crazy and abnormal; this requires courage. Charlotte wanted to object, she wanted to say that her sister was inappropriately philosophizing, but for some reason she asked instead: — Is there a lot of madness in our world? Agnet gently kissed the top of her head. — A lot of. Hatred. Fanaticism. War. — She pulled back and looked into Charlotte’s eyes. — Love. — Do you think he will come back? — She looked back. Agnet smiled faintly. “I think so, he’s not a fool and he values ​​you, it’s just hard for him now, he stepped over himself, Charlotte, he was able to become stronger.” Give him time. *** Scholz was still thinking about what they had said to each other. It was quickly getting dark outside. He, realizing that this was impossible, waited for her return, constantly looking back at the door. He wanted to see her, he wanted to feel her embrace again. Why did he say this then?! For what? He knew that this was her weak point. How mean. Just a nightmare. Charlotte is right, he can’t get out on his own, he’s drowning and drowning, he’s in hopeless despair, and she’s a ray of light that illuminated his life. Will she come back — or is this the end? August didn’t know what to hope for. He didn’t know anything. All he could do was sit and smoke, exhaling smoke, remembering her again and again. Maybe he really needs help? He sighed and pulled the phone over and dialed the number. There was no answer on the other end of the line. August did not lose hope and a minute later the phone was picked up. “Yes,” answered her brother Franz. — Franz, this is August Scholz, remember me? — he asked carefully. He was afraid that he would hang up. — August, of course, I remember. You never called us at home. What’s happened? — Honestly, I need Charlotte, would you call her? — Okay, don’t hang up, I’ll call her. But if she refuses to talk, promise to accept it — she already cried a lot today because of your quarrel. — Understand. — After these words, he began to wait for her to come up. The minutes seemed to drag on like an eternity. Finally, he heard a fuss on the phone and her voice. — Yes, did you want something, Oberscharführer Scholz? — she lashed out in a harsh tone. — Charlotte, I wanted to apologize for today, forgive me. I’m not out of malice. I just kept so much to myself. You’re right. I can’t do it alone. “I’m very glad that you understand,” Charlotte stood and could barely restrain her smile. August heard this smile in her voice, this forgiveness, and almost fell out of his chair with relief. — You will come back to me? — How’s the secretary? — She asked this question for clarification, but she understood everything perfectly. — Both as a secretary and as a girl. — I will think. “I like you too,” Augustus said ironically, hiding how many tons had fallen from his soul at that moment. And while the happy dope was in control of his head, he quickly asked: — Charlotte, take me to your doctor. The girl was dumbfounded. So fast? — Tomorrow? she asked curiously. — Yes, tomorrow, we will deliver the documents to the main headquarters and after inspecting the camp we will leave. — But I was examined today. “I need to check everything personally.” — Okay, I understand you. I was going to see her tomorrow myself. — Then good night, Charlotte Brown — Calm down, August Scholz. He hung up and lit a cigarette. Now that the heavy thoughts had evaporated from his head, he was able to pay attention to the landscape outside the window. The blue was thickening over the roofs of houses, cars rushed through the streets, lanterns were lit, dispelling the first transparent darkness on the sidewalks. In their cozy amber light, people walk before going to bed; their faces cannot be seen, but for some reason it seems that they are all smiling relaxedly. August suddenly remembered how, as a child of about five years old, he went with his family to Munich to visit his grandmother. These were those rare trips when even his quarrels with his sister stopped. They ran and ate picked apples, or helped grandmother prepare charlotte. He still remembered the smell of that charlotte; these memories made him feel bitter. Augustus, looking at this through the prism of his current understanding of life, blamed himself for not appreciating these moments then, naively believing that there would be many more of them. He grinned and, putting out his cigarette, went home. Walking past Lehman’s office, he heard a very interesting conversation. He was talking to someone on the phone, and from the first words August guessed who. — Was it really removed? — Lehman was worried, their operation to kill Augustus failed at the wrong time. We’ll have to come up with a new plan. They hoped to remain above suspicion; the sister was the ideal option. They underestimated Augustus, they will have to go a different way. “I hope we remove him, Walter, and we both get what we want.” — Lehmann hung up. August ran down the stairs in a panic. That’s how they arranged it all. Lord, how did he not think of it before! True, something tells him that Zaks and Lehman did not act entirely independently, and there is someone else… But who? *** Charlotte did not want to go out until the last minute; her mental state had not improved much since yesterday, her mood was jumping, and hysteria was creeping up. However, she collected her thoughts and looked in the mirror as she got dressed. The well-chosen clothes didn’t seem to flatter her like they used to. Yes, this girl is clearly broken. Self-pity flooded her head, but Charlotte learned to detach herself from herself even before meeting August. As she approached work, she noticed him. The man was waiting for her, but there were still a few minutes left before the appointed time, so Charlotte first straightened her clothes and calmed her breathing. “Good morning,” Augustus noticed her. “Good,” Charlotte immediately noticed the change. “August is no longer so tense.” “Now we’ll bring in the documents and go to the construction site.” -Will you drive? — Yes. But we will go to another one, more spacious and newer. — You…? — I exchanged the old one and paid a little extra. — He pointed to the side where the new car was parked. August was extremely polite and attentive today, he always walked first and opened doors, leading by the elbow. Charlotte was pleased, but the sudden change was frightening. As if he wants to lull her vigilance. — Charlotte, tell me, what fruits do you like? — they climbed the stairs and the girl turned to her companion in bewilderment. — Fruits? Well, I love apples, that’s probably all. Why are you suddenly asking? — I want to get to know you. I realized that I was selfish in some ways. “We’ll continue later,” he opened the last door for her and let her through. They went to the construction site. The journey didn’t take long. Charlotte looked around all the time, looking at the landscapes, although she had seen them a hundred times, she noticed something new for herself. August looked at her all the time. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. He was making up for a week of not paying any attention. Something had changed in her, or he was finally able to see something new in her. Look with fresh eyes. Maybe she is the magical element that keeps him in balance? They arrived at the camp. There was an unusual silence in the usually noisy place. Neither workers nor administration were visible on the street. There must be dozens of people, they couldn’t evaporate! What happened? In the building, as soon as they opened the door, an unconscious foreman was discovered. “Hey,” August shook the man’s shoulder. — Can you hear me? — the man did not answer, breathing in fumes. August noticed the bottle and disgustedly touched it with his gloves to look inside. There was something else floating in the beer; there was a strong smell of alcohol and apples coming from the neck. — Was everything the same here yesterday? “August realized that something was wrong. The smell was haunting. Apples themselves do not smell so bright; he had already heard a similar aroma somewhere, but could not remember where, until the nimble thought froze for a second. Father’s factories! If his memory serves him right, only strychnine smells like that. — No, everything was fine yesterday. — Charlotte answered a little belatedly. The girl also didn’t understand what was happening; yesterday, when she arrived, everything was normal. August decided that everyone was in another building, which was also located nearby. They headed there, but on the way, Augustus noticed something strange from afar: a small hill rose where there was none. He barely managed to shield the dead bodies from Charlotte when he realized that they had been dumped in a careless heap near one of the unfinished barracks. — Charlotte, get to the phone and call the police. — What’s there? — the girl tried to look over his shoulder. August stopped her. — No need. Walk and don’t look back, okay? Charlotte nodded. — What should I tell the police? — So that they come urgently. Mass kill. Charlotte nodded and walked towards the administration. Augustus hoped that she would not encounter corpses there, and he himself approached the bloody bodies. The heap included both prisoners and administrative workers. Many were shot through the heads, but all apparently died as a result of the poison. An attempt to disguise? Such an incident will not go unnoticed. Himmler will call him to him, perhaps he will be demoted in rank, if not expelled from the SS. Who would want to kill all these people? Was it aimed at him, or did they try to hide one true target among the dozens killed? In any case, this is unheard of cruelty. The police arrived. Augustus was examined, the camp was cordoned off, and the dead were taken away for careful study. Everyone came to the conclusion that it was murder. He knew that this was the work of one of those two who wanted to remove him, but how to prove his innocence? He didn’t know they would go this far. Should I tell Charlotte? Their relationship had reached a fragile balance, he was afraid to destroy it, he decided to keep silent about everything for now. She doesn’t need to know. He feared that Walter and Friedrich would soon involve her in this. He promised himself that now she would not leave him one step. He looked at her pale face and, walking up to her in two steps, hugged her. “August,” She was excited, Charlotte understood absolutely nothing. “Don’t say anything,” he closed his eyes and hugged her. This was his fulcrum, a woman for whom he was ready to do anything. She is nearby and that is enough. Charlotte lost track of time, she sat and looked at how Augustus was asked the same questions several times, how they wrote them down and how they brought him to this mountain of corpses again and again. When they were driving back, Charlotte suggested rescheduling the visit to the psychiatrist until tomorrow, seeing August’s broken state, but he categorically refused, saying that a little more and he himself would go to the clinic. They arrived and Charlotte shuddered a little when she looked at him: how he examined the inconspicuous three-story building. Charlotte wanted to say that she would wait outside the office, but she realized that it would be a mistake, August needed her. Hall greeted them with the strong smell of drugs, alcohol, baked instruments and bandages. They entered the office together, holding hands. “Charlotte, you haven’t come to see me for a long time,” Bertha hugged her, and, looking at August, she quickly realized that this was the same guy. — I’m glad to see you too. I would like to come by for some medications and also introduce you: this is August Scholz,” she pointed to him. He, previously standing aside, extended his hand, and they shook the soft palm of a woman, but still a doctor. — He would like some advice. “I’ll give you the drugs after,” the psychiatrist said with a gentle hint and smiled. Charlotte intelligently left the office. She, of course, was afraid that August would not be able to open up to Bertha, but she believed in the woman’s professionalism. “August Scholz, please sit down,” she pointed to a chair standing near her desk. — Thank you. It’s my first time coming here, so I’m not very comfortable. — I understand. Tell me, what’s wrong with you? If you came here of your own free will, it means that there is someone next to you whom you value, and that you have something to fight for. — This is true. I recently had a CA cleanse that you probably know about. And in this operation I had to kill my sister and give the order to shoot people. I never shot at a living creature, and I came to serve in the SS because I needed to save my skin, I knew that someday I would have to kill. But I didn’t think it would be so soon. I got lost after that. I thought that my sister… that she was in prison, where she should have been sent for the debts of our family, but she escaped this fate. And I feel like her death weighs on me and the death of all those people. I’m becoming stricter with myself. I recently fell out with Charlotte, and after that I decided that I would come to you. And — he couldn’t speak anymore because his sister appeared before his eyes again. — Tell me, what kind of relationship did you have with your sister during your lifetime? — In bad times, we never got along. And when my father died in thirty-two, I gave the entire family business to her. “You wanted to say something else, but didn’t finish,” the doctor moved closer to her desk. — Yes. I am in charge of the construction of concentration camps, but today, when I arrived at the site, I found a mountain of corpses. Someone wants to remove me. — Tell me, August, what is your relationship with Charlotte? — this question was asked unexpectedly. — Well… I appreciate her as a worker, and I like her as a girl, but we are more in a platonic relationship with her, we have a lot of freedom. “But apparently you like her very much, since you came to me because you had a crush on her.” August, due to unresolved internal conflicts and frequently changing circumstances, you begin to feel depressed. It wasn’t easy for you, in some ways you broke yourself,” Bertha gave the patient a little time to comprehend her words. “I can tell you about your sister that your subconscious cannot let her go.” You feel guilty, you want to ask her for forgiveness, and the pain of the fact that this is impossible throws you off balance. I will prescribe medications for you and tell you when to take them. Not everything is going well for you. — Okay, I hope they will help me. — With these words, August stood up from his chair to warm up, and Bertha collected his medications. She wrote when they should be taken and sent him away. Charlotte followed him in and sat down to wait for her medicine. “Charlotte, I want to tell you that he needs you, he can’t do it alone,” Bertha opened the desk drawer and began rummaging through it. — I? — Charlotte looked at the doctor in surprise. — Yes, you can restrain him. He has a difficult path ahead, and you can help him. He will be lost without you. — Bertha, don’t make things up, I can’t help myself, how can I help someone? “But he can help you in return,” Berta supplied the drugs. — Why so little? — You don’t need any more. He has a positive influence on you, and you on him. Charlotte, understand, he won’t get out of this. They will now start setting all the dogs on him for murder. It’s unlikely that anyone will figure it out. Don’t leave him. He came to me because he didn’t want to lose you,” Charlotte looked at the floor. She was right. The girl understood that in light of recent events it would be difficult for August. And he needs someone to be nearby. “Okay,” with that, she said goodbye to the doctor and went out into the corridor where August stood. He immediately met her gaze with a slightly childish expression on his face. — Well, let’s go? — He extended his hand to her. “Yes, let’s go,” she put her hand in. They walked down the stairs, Augustus quickly looked around and picked her up in his arms as he walked out of the building. She, laughing, asked to be lowered to the ground, they turned to look at them, but August did not care. He was happy and this feeling made him want to shout to the whole city. He spun her in his arms and did not want to let go — she saved him. He would never have thought before how a girl could change him, but now he acted like an idiot in love and he was not ashamed. He was afraid of losing her, and for the first time in his life he admitted it. He was afraid that they might start to take it out on her. — Charlotte, tell me, do you like horseback riding? — August looked at her with curiosity. “If this is an invitation to go horseback riding through the forest, then I agree, although I’m not very good at riding.” — I’ll teach you, don’t worry. If you want, I will teach you archery. “I began to forget, Augustus, that you are an aristocrat and practically a prince.” “I am the prince in the black SS uniform.” I have come to guard your heart.