Again

The room was illuminated only by moonlight from the window. Stephan takes a cigarette, holds it in his teeth and sits on the windowsill, lighting up. After the first puff, he exhales, watching the graceful patterns of the house in space. Casey has a night shift, this is explained by a note left on the bedside table. “I’m at work, I’ll be late. Go to sleep.” Very cute. Leaving notes instead of messages has become a tradition for them. A kind of adding atmosphere to their personal life together. A new puff. Exhale. Stephan couldn’t sleep at night. Nightmares do not allow him to sleep properly, and the approach of meeting with them did not allow him to fall asleep. That’s why he always sat on the windowsill, thinking that Casey didn’t notice. But every day a new thing appeared in Stephan’s favorite place: a blanket, pillows, insulation, food. The guy didn’t put it there. His girlfriend carefully placed a similar one in his island of safety so that he would be comfortable. And he, in turn, slept better there than in bed in complete darkness alone, and in the morning he felt cheerful and as cheerful as Casey knows and loves him. It’s only two o’clock in the morning. Time to smoke. After that, most likely, Wilde will read in the semi-darkness until his eyes just start to stick together. But for now he is looking at the street from the apartment window. Many people could be seen because the couple lived on the fifth floor. The man liked to look at the creatures that came out at night in the cold glass. Oh, yes… creatures. The problem of night monsters has not yet been solved in Lighthouses. The shadows were afraid of light and magic, but they chased and killed everyone who approached them. And although over the past few years there have been much fewer of them and there might not have been any victims overnight, Stephan was still always worried about his beloved. The residence was far enough away from their neighborhood and had to travel by bus or car. Only magicians could cope with the creatures, and Casey was an ordinary person, so a colleague always accompanied her home. But my heart is restless tonight. And Wilde couldn’t figure out why. Something told him that something was going to happen. And what was his surprise when the doorbell rang. The window from the bedroom looked the other way from the entrance, so he could not see the uninvited guest. It’s definitely not Casey, because she has the keys. Sue does not go out at night if she is not patrolling, and he did not refuse to walk today, so he did not prepare, therefore now he and his sister are sleeping peacefully at home. Zoi is more likely to come to Sue than to Stephan, if something happens, it turns out there is only one option left… The man turns his head sharply towards the door and squints. He puts out his cigarette and throws it into the ashtray. He descends from the windowsill, out of habit, quietly, stealthily approaches the source of the sound and looks through the peephole. …Oh my The door swings open and Stephan looks at the picture with wild eyes. “I’m sorry if I woke you up”. Cornelius stands, trembling, slightly hunched over. A trickle of blood flows from his temple, which he quickly covers with his palm, noticing his uncle’s studying gaze. But even this was a bad option, Stefan’s eyes immediately move to the broken knuckles. In the second hand is a bag with visible textbooks. Of course, today is Tuesday, tomorrow he has to study. “My father kicked me out of the house again”. The man blunts his eyes a little. His eyebrows are slightly furrowed, and his eyes are narrowed. He froze, clutching the door handle. Cornelius stiffens, looking back at him. And Stephan immediately flies out of his thoughts, his face relaxes and he lets the young man into the house. Small triggers, no more. He has been treated worse, but there is plenty of sympathy for his own nephew. And all this oozes through a heart sealed with a lot of plasters, which can no longer be repaired, and all this rot pours out again through the holes from the lost fragments. Band-Aids can’t stand it when someone dear to you is beaten the same way as you were eleven years ago. “Come in” — he says in a low voice, so as not to scare, making room for passage. Cornelius flies into the dim apartment like a summer wind that blew from him. He looks at the floor, still covering the blood oozing from his temple with a palm with broken knuckles. They go into the kitchen, the young man sits down on a chair, having previously moved away from the table and casually throws the bag on the floor. Stephan, in turn, silently goes into the bathroom for a while, clenching his fists to the crescent-shaped scars that will remain on his palms after such a passionate action. He always walks noiselessly, which Cornelius notices. The cost of trauma, manifested in him and at such an adult age. For a while, while the guy is left alone, he can always think about what is happening. For example, that he is a happy person, despite everything that happened to him because of his family. But the same family gave him the opportunity to get to know a man like his father’s brother. The person whose name is considered the main sin, for the mention of which you will have to kneel on peas for an hour. And all because he didn’t go the same way. He did not accept the bullying that his relatives brought to him, but not close ones. “And really, an incredible bastard” — Cornelius thinks, and he grins at this thought. Bitterly. Stephan was only gone for a minute, the young man had already managed to remember so much. The man returns with a small suitcase, the inside of which Cornelius knows by heart: a first aid kit. Wilde somehow menacingly takes a chair by the back that it bounces, and puts it in front of him, sitting crosswise, facing his nephew. “Don’t be so angry, it’s my own fault, I could have kept silent, not argued” — the young man exhales raggedly when his hand is taken in his own and those painful-looking knuckles are watered with peroxide. “You know, I never thought that I would wish death to someone other than your grandfather, but now I really want my own brother” — contrary to his own mood and anger, he gently and gently treats Cornelius' wounds so that it would not hurt so much. “You can.” “I wish you were dead, Marcus! You’re a mother fucker, following in the footsteps of crazy parents. Your God will punish you, asshole.” A scream breaks the calm silence that has formed. Then she recovers again, while the bangs fall on Stephan’s eyes, and he takes cotton wool and pours peroxide again, intending to treat Cornelius’s wound on the temple. He’s definitely not angry. This is real hate. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt such a huge surge of emotions. It was a long time ago, but since then Stephan has learned to control himself. From the detached guy who didn’t let anyone get close, expecting a trick, only a shell remained — his body, a mature man with a well-developed past stood in his former place, who doesn’t look back, even if he really wants to, goes on. And Stephan was grateful for the part of his life that he had been living for eleven years since he moved away from his parents. He stayed in the same city for only one reason — two people remain his meaning of life: Casey and Cornelius, who need him. The man sees his nephew crumpling, and his eyes seem to be in a wet place. It seems that he said that he has problems with tears, he often can’t, even when he wants to. Therefore, Stephan decided to “bring” him. Cornelius needs to cry now. “What happened though?” — he says on an exhale, reassuring and looks with slight fear at the deep cut hidden in the roots of the young man’s long hair. He seems to have held his breath and has been sitting like this since the moment he came in. But this theory disappears when Stefan, in a dumb attempt to make sure, looked at the heaving chest and mentally exhaled, closing his eyes for a second. Cornelius does not crumple, also relaxes and does not look in the direction of his uncle, does not turn his head, but just looks into the void, thinking about what happened. “Father smashed a plate on my head.” It can be seen, there’s a deep cut, how did the guy get on the bus like that? “It would be nice to have you in an ambulance, but we both know why it’s impossible,” Stephan sits down, looking sadly at his nephew. It takes a couple of seconds before he adds: “It’s not your fault, Cornelius.” The named one shudders and shifts his gaze. Cloudy, glassy, desperate so much that the man from him again involuntarily triggers and rolls with memories. The skin is covered with goosebumps when Cornelius sniffs and throws his head back in an attempt to hold back tears. Stefan immediately grabs his chin and returns his head to its previous position. “Cry as much as you need to. I’m the only one around.” And the guy is covered. Tears begin to flow in a stream, silently, but bitterly. The man sits on his knees in front of him and hugs him. Now the drops are falling heavily on the top of his head, he feels them. If thoughts were needles, they would pierce him through, although Stefan holds them back with all his might. Vile, terrible memories have pinned his mind and do not give passage. He closes his eyes, trying not to start crying himself. They sit like that for five minutes. Five minutes provide mutual assistance to each other. And it becomes much easier for both of them. “It’s late, you have to go to school tomorrow,” Stephan pulls away first, looks into the tear—stained face and wipes the last remaining tears with his thumb. They follow into the bedroom and Stephan points to the windowsill. “Sleep there, so the anxiety will go away,” and smiles as before, defusing the situation and giving Cornelius, at least for a while, a sense of relief and home. So cozy and warm. With people who love you. “You seem to be afraid to sleep alone in the dark, and in your bed it’s like in a crypt,” Cornelius once recalls the words a man once said when he asked about the cherished window sill. “Father turned off the light for me as a child, additionally after the punishment,” Stephan smiles, looking into the distance. There was a wonderful view from the roof. — “And I’ve always been afraid of the dark, it’s because of the brainwashing of all this God’s bullshit, ha-ha-ha.” And how does he manage to laugh from that? “I’ll manage, I’ll put up with one night for you, until Casey comes, nothing will happen to me,” both understood what would happen, but both do not continue. “Hey, Stephan.” “What?” Cornelius presses his whole body once more. Tightly squeezes someone else’s ribs. “My life is not terrible as long as you are my family.” From these words, Stephan swears that he is ready to burst into tears right here. From happiness. But he restrains himself from unnecessary display of emotions again and strokes his nephew on the head, slightly ruffling his hair. An adult kid is already seventeen years old, and he climbs to hug like a little girl. But the man does not mind at all. “This is my duty, which I have not fulfilled before my parents,” Stefan laughs and looks at the guy with the kindest smile.

***

In the morning, he wakes up first. He opens his eyes with difficulty and tries to focus his gaze. The first thing Stefan discovers is Casey, who is sitting comfortably on his chest, snoring, looking like the most harmless creature in the world. Still sleeping. Looking towards the windowsill, the man did not find Cornelius. He went to study. Wilde puts his heavy head back on the pillow, putting his arm around the girl’s shoulders and kissing her on the top of her head. “I hope your day goes better today.” is the last thing he thinks before falling asleep again.