the sucker

the sucker needs nothing but a normal house with a normal non-leaking roof, heating, gas (to poison herself at any moment if she breaks down and spends all the money), a laptop with normal internet and a bed made of a cheap wooden frame with a mattress and linen, which has long needed to be changed. the light is only from a desk lamp, but she doesn't need more. the sucker likes to watch shit of various kinds late at night: from a collection of weird locations, but such familiar ones, to sex between two girls before going to bed. she then masturbates under the blanket, because guys definitely don't shine on her, such a reclusive girl will not be cute to anyone. it all takes at least five minutes, and at the end she twitches all over and throws her head back, moaning softly and catching fleeting thoughts about how she would like to be in a bright world, the same incomprehensible, impetuous, but so familiar, and there she would be a jester. therefore, she goes to the nearest playground, because the coordinates were sent there. she digs in the sandbox and sees the cherished zip. there are three strip in it, which had emojis on a checkered background. the very thing to blur myself. the blinds are closed and blured, the lamp is burning brighter and warmer, the sucker is laughing, dancing either to the garden or to the shit from clowncore playlists. she tries to decorate her face with ancient children's makeup and red lipstick, which she uses once every five years when the mood is crazy. it is very difficult not to laugh when you see a pale face in the mirror, bruises under the eyes brighter than life and brighter than trip, dilated pupils and a body full of bright blue bruises. she's laughing at herself now, not even sick. she finds at least some bright clothes and looks contentedly in the mirror. she even wants to masturbate again, admiring herself. her eyes are burning, as is the sucker below, kneeling, looking intently at himself. at the end, she is now arching her back with a stoop, moaning louder and entering deeper. the pulsation does not pass quickly. she needs to catch her breath, even the makeup has flowed from sweat and tears after the third orgasm in a row. nobody hears the sucker. she lives in a private house anyway. the sucker is really different. she wants to live another six months for this. until she breaks down, quits, spends all the money and gets gassed. she has no other plans for life. she has to go to work in the morning. again, she will be half an hour late and will listen to the boss's lectures with false teeth. and she'll fall asleep at lunch. and she will see dreams with a bright world, and the sucker in it will be a jester.