Somewhere out there my moon sleeps

Our first face-to-face meeting was eerily awkward. Although unlike most of the villagers I was not addicted to Guardian Apples, my mother wasn't okay after my father died and the only way to keep her alive was golden apples. She depended on them, not wanting to face the bitterness of loss that I faced. For what my father believed in, I promised myself that I would never even taste those apples. Devil Fruits that made others weird. Because I couldn't refuse their feelings. Because I realize the value of feelings. Others don't realize, mother doesn't realize. But I have to help her hold on. Therefore, I have to keep this smile on my face and go with everyone to the tree of feelings and ask for apples. After all, I can not refuse my mother. Even if I had to pass by other townspeople, seeing how they mock the owner of the dark side of the tree. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, I'm sure that he remembered everyone who said an offensive word to him or threw a stone at him, I'm sure that he remembered my eyes full of fear when I tried to leave as quickly as possible, every time I saw him surrounded by others. I am sure that he remembered it. One day I saw him alone. He sat alone in the shade of a tree, on the outskirts of the meadow, just at the edge of the forest. The sun was warm today, it didn’t scorch with its heat like last time, and a light breeze rustled the leaves, so it was more than pleasant to be outside. But apparently not many thought so. There seemed to be no one around and I felt that I should come up and say something, anything. Yes, at least apologize, even if it didn’t help him in any way, I couldn’t walk with this load. I heard how the soul begins to beat in the chest, beating a frantic rhythm, and my hands tremble, because of which I hid them in my jacket pockets and clenched my hands into fists. I went. My silhouette covered the sun above the guardian's head. I looked down at him, waiting for him to look back, pay attention to me. He looked. With their piercing purple pupils-lights. And that's it. I did not know what to say, embarrassedly looking away, and he continued to look at me, waiting for my actions. ’What? Are you no longer afraid?’ The skeleton said with a grin. Afraid? Was, was I afraid of him? I opened my mouth, but didn't say a word. I only tightened his grip on the few lollipops that were in my pockets. I didn't know what to say or what to do. All the thoughts that had been in my head before that disappeared at once. I tossed him the sweets that I had previously crumpled in my hands and hurriedly left without even turning around. I think I could feel my cheeks burning. God. Why did I even do this? Our next meeting was just as awful. I stood in the shade of the trees by the side of the road leading to the village, looking thoughtfully at the golden apple in my hands. I thought about why I do all this. Does mom suffer more from the fact that she cannot normally grieve for my father? But why then does she keep eating them? Does she not want to face reality? Trying... Is she trying to get away from everything? And, it comes out of me too...? Dark thoughts swirled in my head. How I wish I could get it all out of my head. ‘Aren't you going to eat it?’ My thoughts were interrupted by a voice close by. I shuddered and turned around in fright, it seemed my hands began to shake again. And then I saw the guardian, the guardian of the negative, standing a little distance from me with a book in his hands. What did he forget here? Why is he talking to me? Is it because of the last time? I felt ashamed when I remembered what had happened at that time. How could I be so, so, so clumsy..? ‘I-’ I didn't know what to say to him. How can I say it out loud? My mother is addicted to them like drugs, like everyone else. But admitting it out loud is the same as losing hope that everything will end. ‘It's not for me.’ He arched, uh, an eyebrow, a brow ridge, I think, showing his confusion and disbelief. ‘So…’ I didn’t hear his mumble. ‘Understood.’ He said clearly and walked past me, almost bumping into my shoulders. It was my turn to stare in disbelief. I followed his silhouette walking down the road with wide eyes. What was it? What the hell did he mean by that? I turned around and walked on, turning right, towards the house. Mom is waiting for me. And she needs help. Maybe I really should stop bringing her apples? Even if she needs them so much. How to cure her of this addiction? Mom was very angry. Never seen her like this before. Angry and upset. I just had to keep bringing apples and smiling for her. My cheek still stings. I never wanted it to be like this. Never. And now, having shamefully escaped through the window of the room, I have been sitting for half a day under a tree, behind the bushes, looking sadly towards the clearing, the view of which opens up to me. Usually no one went here, because this place is quite far from the village, and the clearing itself is far in the forest. And now it's evening, I watched the sun begin to set somewhere behind the trees, now no one will come here for sure. No one wants to wander through the woods at night, well, except me, apparently, if I get home at all by dawn. I heard footsteps in the distance and fell silent. Did someone really think to come here now? Why can't everyone just leave me alone for a little while? Tears began to form in my eyes again. ‘What did you forget here?’ said a rough voice and I abruptly turned to the newcomer. Purple pupils looked at me again, glaring into my soul. Why does he always come from behind? ‘You,’ he examined me with his eyes, ‘What happened to you?’ The voice became worried. Like he really cares about me. He has a lot of his own problems. I just looked away. What does he even want to hear? The skeleton sat down next to me, without waiting for any explanation from me, put the book that he had previously held in his hands on his knees, and simply began to read. At first I wanted to ignore him, pretend that there was simply no one next to me and again plunge into the thoughts that ate me from the inside. But who knew that it was so hard to ignore. It would seem that I have been doing this all my life, ignoring my problems, ignoring my thoughts, ignoring what I want. But I can't ignore others. Is this some kind of hero complex or what? I sighed in exasperation and glanced at him. The guard did not pay attention to my torment, calmly reading the book. Why is he even doing this in a place like this? I squinted, vision blurred, either from recent tears, or simply. “Secrets of Society” — written in calligraphic letters on a dark blue cover, as if someone really carefully, with all care and caution, wrote these letters. I wonder what is hidden under this cover. Novel? Fantastic story? Detective? Thriller? Or maybe it's a book about psychology? Yes, it should be so, the name is quite appropriate. Although, it cannot be said that he does not look like someone who would not read fiction books. I move half-lidded eyes to the guard's face. So calm as always. When you do not look at him, it seems as if this world is not for him, and he is not here either, his thoughts are somewhere far away, and nothing in this world worries him. Well, except for the teasing, probably. Although no, if I looked closely, which was difficult, I could see slightly frowned “eyebrows”, a more focused look and how it would seem that a change of emotions was reflected in his eyes. Apparently it's fiction book. I looked away and again looked at the already starry sky. I wish I had the same fun. It used to be so good to immerse yourself in writing, create stories on paper, describing in detail what is happening. And then it turned into a pleasant feeling that I can control at least something in my life. Until that spark went out in me. There is simply no more power left. I hid my face, feeling the tears come again. ‘So many negative emotions come from you, you know?’ I shuddered. Raising my head, I looked at the person sitting next to me in disbelief. How? Are Guardians really empaths? Oh my God, my God, my God. All this time he knew what I felt. Nobody was supposed to know. Everything I've built around me will break if anyone finds out. Fear seemed to freeze in my eyes. ‘I really admire how you hide it all.’ The skeleton said on the verge of a whisper. I held my breath and turned to him in disbelief. Admired? Me? What the hell is he talking about anyway? How can you admire someone like me? ‘Nothing to admire here.’ I said, almost hissing, with an unusual voice for me saturated with poison, ‘I'm not who they think I am.’ Ending more reluctantly. ‘Why?’ He replied with a raised eyebrow. ‘I think I can see who you are very well.’ His gaze darted to me, and I glanced briefly into the purple eyes in response. ‘Do you think?’ It was so embarrassing to meet eyes every time. ‘I know.’ The guard closed his eyes and smiled softly at me. I wanted to cry. Looks like I really needed someone with whom I could be myself. After that time, I was ashamed to show myself in front of him. Even if only with him I felt that the truth is still alive. Even if it seemed to have the same effect on him. We filled the void and loneliness in each other. Every time I noticed the silhouette of this skeleton somewhere on the horizon, I tried to get away as quietly as possible. If only I do not see him, I do not meet his eyes again, I do not want to hear what he says to me. We didn't have to get attached to each other. Having felt freedom, its taste will never be forgotten again. This is what happened to us. Particularly with me. And it was dangerous. But apparently no one heard what I wanted. It seems we were destined to meet again. Will meet under a star-studded night sky, as if someone left a jar of glitter open, and then just touched it, and behold, many stars scattered across the black canvas. The sun at its zenith was replaced by the moon, dimly illuminating everything around. And he's standing in front of me in a halo of moonlight. It is said that the moon, like a disk, reflects the rays of the sun and shines only because somewhere on the other side there is still the sun. But, even if this light is a fake, I believe that it is much more beautiful than the real one. The guard slowly sat down next to me, almost close, also pulling up his knees and looked at me. We sat here again, in the same clearing surrounded by trees, but protected from the outside world. This place has become our paradise. Our eyes met again and there was an awkward silence, he seemed to be trying to find something in my eyes. ‘I'm glad you're feeling better today.’ He broke into a smile. And my heart seems to be beating faster. And louder. I've never seen someone so beautiful. ‘Yes...’ I awkwardly looked away and began to look at the stars in the sky. I recalled our past "gatherings", it seems my cheeks are about to burn. ‘Thank you…’ In response, I heard only a satisfied chuckle and we fell silent again. Only now it wasn't the awkward silence it had been before. As if all the awkwardness was resolved after this conversation. And there was no more silence. I listened to the calming quiet sound of the wind, how the cold grass rustled, the leaves of the trees, and how the crickets played their song. All this created the unique music of the night, which took away all thoughts with it and allowed us to relax. ‘What do you dream about?’ The dreamy voice of the skeleton, to match the question, next to me distracted me from contemplating the stars. What am I dreaming about? I used to dream about a lot of things, I dreamed about the same things that all children dream about, about a big house, a kitten, to go on a trip, to be immensely rich... And after that I began to dream only that the guardians would never appear, that everyone would just continue to live as before. Everything would be fine. But I couldn't say it. ‘Before,’ he turned to me, ‘I only wanted it to end, I considered life to be one long nightmare.’ I put my head on my bent arms and pulled my knees even closer, ‘And now,’ I looked again at the stars, which silently twinkled in response. ‘I dream of being free.’ Free from others, free from obligations, to be free to do what I and only I want. ‘I dreamed of destruction for a long time.’ Now I turned to him and looked at how the sky was reflected in other people's pupils. ‘But it's not my dream anymore.’ He smiled, closing his eyes, as he did all the time next to me. ‘By the way, my name is Nightmare.’ Oh, I hope my recent words didn't offend him. I didn't mean it anyway. ‘Ah,’ Cold wind blew across my face. ‘I…’ Maybe I should also stop dreaming about destruction? Should I just run away from it all? And maybe worth it. Recently, there has been some unrest among the residents. I fear they might be thinking about something not good even though they seem to be overflowing with positivity. I should tell Nightmare, I don't want him to get hurt. He let me feel what freedom is and I don't want him to lose the last bits of his freedom. Today was the first time that we decided to arrange a meeting. The last time we sat in the clearing, he quietly read a book, and I enjoyed the silence and half-asleep, sometimes peeping into the book of a skeleton sitting next to me. This is a true detective, or rather a detective novel, very entertaining. I even understand why Nightmare is so drawn out. Interesting, under other circumstances, could I have written something as exciting? Well, no one will know now. And then he just offered to meet again in the evening in a couple of days. Before that, all our meetings were random. Starting with those where we caught a glimpse of each other, even before we got to know each other better, and ending with those where we sat in a clearing. Usually in the second case we met each other on the road, he walked towards the tree, and I towards the village. I have never seen Nightmare in the village before, but I often see him walking out of it. What is he doing there if the people hate him so much? Why put yourself in danger? I don't understand. At first I doubted whether to accept his offer. I loved our spontaneous meetings and how we spent time together, all the freedom that I felt in such moments and they were beautiful, even if they were sudden. It became scary to me that if our meetings become scheduled, all this will go away. Although it was an irrational fear. Realizing this, I decided to agree. And here I am. In the meadow. I came first, perhaps long before the appointed time, but I could not stand this depressing situation in a village that seemed to be full of joyful inhabitants. It was too suffocating. I was stifled by the feeling of their eyes on me, stifled by their false smiles, stifled by their friendly voices, even the walls of low houses seemed to press on me. For the past few days, thoughts of escape have been popping up in my head. Thoughts about going somewhere far, far away, to the other side of the world, maybe reaching the sea, equipping a small house there and living in peace and tranquility. As I dreamed as a child. But so many things keep me here. Although no, if I think about it, then only mom. Well, now Nightmare too. But, what if you ask Nightmare if he wants to come with me? I'm sure if I can get away my mom can manage, she can pick apples herself or... or we have neighbors she can ask for. I'm sure they won't refuse. If Knight had made up his mind to leave with me, maybe I really could. Although… No. I don't think I can. I have no idea what to do. I don't even know where these thoughts come from in my head. Everything will be fine. Maybe I'm just mad at my mom for the last time. But she did apologize. I'm sure that the inhabitants have something in mind, too, it seems to me. I don't think anything will really happen. I let out a nervous chuckle and looked doomed at the sky. The sun is already starting to set, making the sky turn into the most beautiful colors. I heard footsteps somewhere behind me. The fact that he comes up from behind doesn't scare me anymore, at least when I hear Nightmare approaching. ‘Why do you always think about something bad when I'm not around?’ the skeleton asks from behind. We meet eyes and smile at each other. ‘Just too many thoughts in my head.’ I answered quietly, inviting Nightmare to sit next to me. ‘I noticed.’ the guard answered a little displeased, sitting down on the grass and leaning on the same tree as me. ‘I hope you can finish this self-flagellation or whatever you are doing in your head.’ He put the book on his lap and looked at me intently, trying to convince me to stop thinking about all those bad things. A cool breeze rustled the leaves. ‘I-’ I tried to figure out how to justify myself. ‘Fine.’ I breathed out surrender to this “war”. And then I thought, isn’t he the guardian of negative emotions? Like, uh, I don't even know if it's supposed to help him that there's so much negativity in me, like he says? I've heard that Guardians feed on emotions to some extent. ‘Don't you,’ I didn't know how to say it, ‘Become stronger by the emotions you are responsible for?’ I decided to ask directly, nothing could stop my curiosity. ‘Or something like that.’ I added quietly. ‘Hm?’ Nightmare obviously did not expect such a question from me. ‘Well,’ his gaze darted, he looked at me, then somewhere to the side. ‘It is hard to explain.’ I put my head on my knees and fixed my gaze on the skeleton, showing that I was ready to listen. ‘Ha-ah.’ he sighed a little annoyed, but nevertheless closed the book in preparation for a long, judging by his reaction, conversation, ‘How to say.’ He shifted his gaze. ‘Dream and I are not ordinary monsters. I'm not sure if we can even be considered as such, because, well, we ourselves are bundles of emotions or light and dark, I'm not sure myself.’ He finally looked at me. ‘Our mother, she was a goddess, as well as the keeper of the tree of feelings. She died trying to keep her balance, leaving us as guardians.’ Now I began to understand why he didn’t want to talk about it so much. I moved closer, hoping to give some support this way. ‘Yes, she created us, she created these bodies for us. But... Sometimes I think she just left us.’ I am distracted for a few seconds, almost ceasing to listen. All this makes me think. ‘And then I remember why it happened and why I'm here. Yes, and Dream considers her a mother and seems to love her.’ Nightmare smiles sadly with the corners of his lips. ‘The Tree of Feelings is our home.’ his gaze becomes distant, and the skeleton itself seems to be thinking about something else. And I have to give credit to his mother, even if the guardians only appeared because of her death, if not for this, if not for her, we would never have met. Perhaps my life would have turned out quite differently. But would I sacrifice someone I love so much out of a pitiful chance? I don't think so. ‘Whatever you think, don’t you dare think bad things around me.’ I say awkwardly and look away. He can be read like an open book, you just need to know where to look. ‘I'm glad you're here.’ I added in a whisper, but they definitely heard me. I felt his head rest on my shoulder. God, if only the cheeks did not burn. I'll die of embarrassment if I'm really embarrassed. ‘ Me too.’ The guard answered in the same whisper. And my heart seems to have skipped a couple of beats. Tears started to form and I tried to hold them back. I can't cry right now, especially at a time like this. ‘By the way, I didn't answer your question.’ Nightmare's words unsettled me, I looked at him in surprise, and he grinned in response. ‘You!’ I exclaimed in a muffled voice, ‘Spoiled such a moment!’ Yes, it just amuses him to bring me to emotions! It can be seen from this smirk! The rest of my indignations drowned in the arms. I never asked. Now I'm not even sure I should be asking about this. Although Nightmare looked sad talking about his brother, I still know that he loves and cares for him very much. It doesn't seem to me that the second guardian, Dream, would be lost without him, but here another obstacle appears. Nightmare is still a guard. And to protect the Tree of Feelings is his direct duty from which he cannot refuse. And I don't like it. Nightmare is freer than anyone I know, but at the same time he is more chained than anyone else. And I'd love to tear them apart, even if I can't get out of mine. Everything is too complicated. And from these thoughts my head began to hurt, and tears welled up in my eyes. It is very difficult for me to make decisions, and even more difficult to think about it. And the third degree of difficulty is to think about what situation Nightmare is in. I pulled the covers over my head more tightly and buried my head in the pillow. I hate all this so much. I hate my mother, I hate the way they look at me, I hate this village and everyone who lives in it, I hate these stupid apples and how they affect everyone, I hate the damn Tree of Feelings and the goddess who started it all. I hate this life. Tears finally sputtered from my eyes and the pillow gradually began to get wet, unpleasantly clinging to my cheeks. I hate it so much that I want to die so that no one will ever touch me again. Since when did I become so mean to everything around me? My own thoughts had hit me so hard that I now didn't even know what to think of myself. When did it all go wrong? With my eyes wide open, through the silk of the curtains, I looked at the stars and the moon shining through the window by the bed, hoping that at least they would give me answers to all my questions. Unfortunately, the stars only twinkled silently, looking back at me. I rolled over onto my back and covered my eyes with my hands, sighing resignedly. Life really sucks. My father would have scolded me for such thoughts, but he is not by my side either. I don't think things would have gone down that far if he was still here. Should I be angry with my father because he is indirectly to blame for the current hatred? I shook my head and turned away from the window. I can't. It's, it's dad. He loved my mother and me with all his heart and did everything to make us happy. On the other hand, is the goddess responsible for her death? Well, I can't know it, but I bet she wanted it to turn out like this. But I can't stop blaming her because, well, what was the point of creating the Tree of Feelings? Something that someone can easily take possession of and harm others. It's not thought out. But all the same, everyone is indirectly to blame for everything that happened. Even me. I still hate it all. Suddenly I heard a knock on the window. I shuddered and froze for a moment afraid to turn around. Who can even knock on the window at midnight? Only night creatures who just want to take me with them and kill me somewhere in a dark forest. ‘Hey. It's me.’ I turn to the window in bewilderment and really, through the gap of the curtains, I see Nightmare. What did he forget here? I jump out of bed, pulling back the curtains with an unpleasant sound, turning around for a moment in the direction of the door, as if I could see through the closed door if my mother heard this sound. Although I was almost sure that she was in a deep sleep. I went back to the window, opening it and letting cool air into the room. 'What did you forget here?' I hissed with strange anger, almost right in the face of the skeleton. 'Did you cry?' After not a long silence, during which he examined my face, and I looked in response, furrowing my eyebrows, he issued. 'Wha-,' The fact that Night noticed my probably still reddened eyes made me actually blush and back away from him, rubbing my eyes. 'You-, I-, Agh!' It was too embarrassing. 'You never said what you were doing here in the middle of the night.' I repeated my question a little more calmly. 'How did you even know where I live?' 'Only one resident of this village can experience so many negative emotions.' With an unusual seriousness for me, which I saw only in the first few of our meetings. 'At least in others I notice them much less frequently.' 'So that’s how you found my home?' I asked uncertainty, still covering my face with my hand. 'It's hard not to find you.' He leaned his elbows on the spade of the window, again moving closer to me and looking into my eyes, which I successfully turned aside. 'So, will you let me in?' I just sighed. The next moment we were both lying on my rather narrow bed. Lying facing each other, knees touching other's knees, almost intertwining legs, and hands of other's hands. Well, actually, I tried to shrink as much as possible, freeing the bed for Night, but he apparently couldn't lie still without touching me. I had to reconcile. 'So why are you upset?' The guard asked directly. Unlike me, he didn't go around in circles trying to ask or say something, and I like that certainty of his, but right now it was awkward. 'Are you sure you want to hear this?' I myself was not sure if I wanted to speak, somewhere in the back of my mind I hoped that he would say “I don’t want”, and then I could just be left alone with my thoughts, further plunging myself into this abyss of anger and despair. But I knew that I would never refuse. And I couldn't refuse him. 'Of course I want.' He looked at me, the light of the moon reflected in his pupils, making them shimmer beautifully. Eyes are clearly my weakness. 'O-okay,' my voice trembled treacherously. I didn't know where to start. How did it all start? Tell how much I hate this? That I want to leave? What should I say? 'Hey,' I woke up when Knight touched my face with his fingers, gently running under my eyes and on the cheeks, wiping away the tears. I didn't even realize that I started crying again. 'I'll be here for as long as you need.' He said softly, continuing to hold my face just as softly. 'I-' I burst into tears. 'I just-' I started to rub my eyes trying to stop the tears. 'I hate this so much.' I continued in a whisper. 'Why is life so unfair and complicated? Why am I the victim of all this?' I continued to stutter. Someone else's hands stopped mine, and then I ended up in an embrace and cried with renewed vigor. 'I hate this life so much.' I kept repeating, over and over again. Again and again. Like a mantra. 'I hate it, I hate it so much.' And the hands holding me only pulled me closer, tensed hugging me more, stroking my back trying to calm me down. 'It's all so hard…' 'I know, I know.' Night whispered in response, trying to calm me down, to lighten this burden, but it didn’t get any easier. How many times have I held back tears like this while lying in bed? How many times have you looked at the sky hoping to get answers to your questions? How many times have I waited until at least someone comes to the rescue while I'm drowning in this pool? How long? 'I want to leave.' I want to die. 'Somewhere where no one can get me, no one will touch me.' If I die, will no one be able to get to me? Tears welled up again, although I seemed to be beginning to calm down. I so want to die. Disappear. Dissolve into darkness. So that no one can find me. I don't want to feel anymore. It is so painful. It hurts to hate. It hurts to love. All this brings pain. I hate pain. 'I don't want to be alone.' I barely audibly mumble. 'I won’t leave you for anything.' Nightmare takes my face in his hands, forcing me to finally, again, look at him. I can barely see him because of the tears that make everything blur, but I can definitely say that now he is looking at me with all the determination and seriousness he is capable of. The heart becomes so warm that I want to cry again. 'You are not alone.' He repeats, and now I initiate the hug, bury myself in it and wet the other shirt with my tears. 'I will always be there.' And I believed it. And I really like to trust at least someone. It's a wonderful feeling. And I like that he believes in me too. I take back my past thoughts. All the same, it is wonderful to feel it, even if after that it will bring pain and I will continue to fall into this abyss. I want to enjoy what I feel to the fullest. The last week has been too hard for me. First my thoughts about escaping, then that night, from the thought of which my face starts to burn, and after a few more days in a semi-depressive state. I could not understand what to do and what was happening around me. Most of the memories of this week are mixed up and it seems at some point I was lost in time. I clearly remember only Nightmare, constantly telling me something and pulling me out of the room, which at some point became stuffy. And then, after a thousand conversations, everything seems to be back to normal. And now I could again fully enjoy our gatherings. Tonight was amazingly beautiful. Late evening and night are basically my favorite times of the day. The sky was cloudless, the sun was already setting below the horizon, coloring the sky red, through which stars are visible. The leaves of the trees and the grass rustled pleasantly, and the wind that played with them was warm. A truly magical evening. And what made it beautiful was Nightmare sitting next to us, under our favorite tree, with a book, the very one he read the first time we were here. My head lay on his shoulder, and in my hands I wove a bracelet. Nothing super special, sophisticated or that will stand out much. A pair of black ropes, black beads and a few turquoise beads between them. And black pendant woven into a bracelet. Moon for my bracelet and star for Nightmare. Nothing special. It will obviously matter to us. I picked up Night's bracelet and looked at it in the light of the sun, which made it gleam beautifully. ‘How beautiful.’ said the skeleton sitting next to me admiringly, leaning closer to me and holding out his hand to take the other end of the bracelet. ‘Now it's yours.’ I said with a smile, handing it over to his hands, the guardian's eyes sparkled. ‘Here, this is mine.’ I rolled up the sleeve of the jacket showing exactly the same bracelet, but with a moon pendant. ‘The moon is you and the star is me. That way we can always be there for each other. What do you think?’ ‘This is wonderful.’ Nightmare replied with a smile on his face and eyes full of admiration, making my cheeks burn. ‘Thank you.’ I answered quietly, turning away, trying to hide my embarrassment, but I knew that it was coming out badly for me. Like me, Night could read me like an open book, and sometimes I felt like he was actually reading my mind, even though I knew he wasn't. ‘Adore you.’ said the skeleton, pulling me into his arms and at the same time with him on the grass. My heart definitely skipped a few beats. At some point, if he continues to embarrass me further, my heart will break. I looked into those warm eyes, which reflected the same soft and warm light of the sun and my eyes looked exactly the same in response. ‘And I you.’ I pulled Night closer and hid my face in his clothes, continuing to hide my embarrassment. I will never be ready to show him this. His arms hugged me tighter in response, Nightmare intertwined our legs, as he likes to do, and pressed his chin to my head. He intertwined our limbs and clung to me like some kind of squid. I chuckled softly at the comparison my mind gave out. Who knew that someone as outwardly cold as the guardian of negativity could be so tactile and loving? I smiled. Somehow I knew that Nightmare was smiling too. It was heaven. Red. Everything I saw in front of me was red. Red sky, the ground turned red with blood, red reflections from the rays of the sun and screams. I only looked at one point. To Nightmare. Or what now stood instead of him. I was no longer sure it was him. I wasn't even sure what happened. Events developed so quickly and swiftly, and I could only stand and watch. Watch how his bones crack, and the mucus makes him choke. At some point, I could not stand on my feet, falling to my knees, and tears made everything that I saw blur. All I could say in my head was ‘Please don't forget who I used to be’, addressed either to me, or to Dream. Either way, I can't forget him. Never. Not after what we've been through together. I wanted to scream in pain that pierced my soul. I couldn't lose him. Not him. He is the most precious what I have. Why couldn't I move? Why did I just watch him destroy himself, how he wheezes in pain, and how the black goo absorbs him? I was so scared, but why couldn't I do anything? Could I do anything? Why didn't I notice how bad he was? We talked so much with each other about how we feel, and I thought everything was getting better. Night looked happy. Was it a lie? Nightmare couldn't lie to me. Just not him. What then caused him to break? I continued to cry, holding back my sobs and never ceasing to wipe the tears from my cheeks. I woke up only at the moment when the battle between Nightmare and Dream was in full swing. ‘They said I'm bad, so I'll be like that!’ Night shouted. He pressed his brother to the ground with his tentacles, strangling him and almost breaking his neck vertebrae. I wanted to run closer, stop him, calm him down. Ask what happened, find out whose words upset him so much. Pick him up. But I still couldn't get myself to do it. It was as if the air was saturated with anger and fear, making me feel the same and at the same time not allowing me to move. Looks like I've been blind all this time. I clenched my fists painfully. ‘They'll be sorry! They will all regret it!’ I already regretted it. I regretted not having done anything earlier. I was so focused on my problems that I could not help the one to whom I so wanted to offer this help. I regret that now I can not move. Suddenly breathing became easier. I raised my head. Dream shone with a golden light, and a stick appeared in his hands. He was going to confront his brother. Even though the air seemed to be cleaner, I still couldn't get up. I was afraid to interfere in the battle. I could only look anxiously at the two guardians, praying for the first time that Nightmare was okay. Dream too soft to hurt Night. But I understood that the guard of the negative now definitely does not think the same way. I knew Dream would lose. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, I had an understanding that Nightmare is much stronger, stronger at times. The sky got even darker. But the stars and the moon that I loved so much no longer shone as warmly as before, they watched what was happening with coldness. The night has always been the patron saint of evil. Nightmare attacked again. The guard of positive emotions fell to the ground and turned to stone before my eyes. I didn't know what would happen next. Worry and fear filled my mind again. Thoughts were confused, and everything was blurry in the eyes. My whole world collapsed before my very eyes. As much as I hated this place, I couldn't accept that there were so many good memories where I had so many good memories, the memories I shared with Nightmare are gone. I didn't believe it. No, no, no, no. All of this couldn't happen. All I see now is just a bad dream. I thought too much and now I'm dreaming about this. ‘Hah.’ A nervous chuckle came out of me, and my eyes stinged again from the oncoming tears. I couldn't lose Nightmare. Not him. ‘Not him…’ Despite the fact that it was said in a whisper, the wind of the word flying apart roamed all over the district. I raised my head, immediately finding the guard with my eyes. ‘No…’ Came out with a sob. I tried to get up, but even barely got up, after immediately falling back. Our eyes met. I couldn't take my eyes off his emerald pupils. At some point, I thought I saw a flash of purple. His eyes looked at me with indescribable longing, and I, bursting into tears, looked back. I wasn't about to let him go. I will never let go. The last thing I saw before he disappeared was the glitter of the pendant on a woven bracelet by me. I was left alone. The world has completely collapsed for me. Tears didn't stop flowing from my eyes. I wasn't even going to try to calm down. Why is fate so cruel to us?