every gay ever

Jongseong sits cross-legged on the bed, right before his nose, just within arm's reach. Heeseung glances over and gulps down his saliva. Now they are all alone in the room. The party's over and the unnecessary people are gone, only their squad being left. Sunghoon and Jake went out to the convenience store since Sunghoon had a sudden urge to buy some cigarettes at 3AM, even though he had an unopened pack. Sunoo was drunkenly snoozing on the big bed of Park Jr.'s parents, Riki was nowhere to be seen, but his location was pretty obvious from Sunoo’s location. And Jungwon, after an unsuccessful attempt to clean up Sunghoon’s apartment, announced that he too was going to lie down, supposedly next to Sunki, since that bed was the biggest and most comfortable one after all. So now, by coincidence (and possibly manifestation on Heeseung’s part), he and Jongseong would have to sleep together on the pullout couch in the living room.   Heeseung watches as Jongseong nibbles on his cracked lips, then picks at them with his short fingernails, scrolling through his instagram feed. He also habitually frowns and pouts, though he watches some silly videos.   Heeseung really wants to kiss him right now, even though Jay might feel a little tiny bit of pain, as he's been practicing self-destruction for the past ten minutes straight. Heeseung has no idea how the younger man would react to this action, for he is a complete mystery to Heeseung. He's never talked or shared anything about himself, so all Heeseung knows is that he's a bit younger, came from the States, is a medical student, and is terrifyingly sexy-looking with absolutely zero effort whatsoever. They're not close enough to ask anything else, so Heeseung is left to either guess or be patient. Or, how about the third option? Try it and see what happens. It's still too early to lose anything, he thinks.   Jongseong is handsome. Really, very attractive. Heeseung can’t deny that the dyed blond hair, perhaps, does play a big part. Not that it's Heeseung’s type, but it immediately catches ones eye and you can't help but notice Jay. Or maybe it's the razor-sharp jawline, he wants to run his finger over it and see if it cuts. The younger man's facial features are also sharp and brutal, but very appealing. Heeseung doesn't know if Jay left his eyebrows dark on purpose or not, but that's also on Park J. Jongseong’s "sexy features" list.   Heeseung himself seems to be no slouch either; he's also pretty popular amongst his circles. Girls and boys both have their eyes on him, so he knows how it all works, if it works, of course.   Heeseung thinks of what he would lose and whether it's really worth the risk of doing something. Thinks about whether he can alibi everything with the alcohol, in case of something. Jay puts his feet on the floor as if he's about to get up and leave, it would seem like Heeseung was too late to be brave, except the blond guy still remains on his place. "Destiny," Heeseung thinks and doesn't let himself doubt for even a second longer.   “It's been a long day today," he begins casually and with a sigh.   “Hm? Yeah. I honestly didn't think so many people would come," replies the younger one, and changes his position once again, though he never stops staring at the phone. He seems to be playing some kind of a game now, judging by the sounds.   “Yeah, me too," the older man says as naturally as possible, and slowly quietly approaches letting out a light chuckle, "I don't think Sunghoon was expecting that himself.”   Jongseong also snorts and smiles, slightly delayed because of his concentration on the game. Heeseung is already standing right in front of the blond man, looking down at the top of his head. Jay seemingly senses the older man's gaze and looks up at him for a split second, immediately returning to the game so as not to lose, “Hyung? Is everything alright?” he asks almost in disinterest and it really annoys the older one. Heeseung has all of his gay charms on, and he doesn't even get a reaction, “Shit,” Jongseong loses the level and finally raises his head, "Hyung?”   There’s Heeseung’s chance.   He musters up his courage in an instant and leans in to kiss the chapped lips. At first, it's merely a touch, but it deepens and opens up into more uninhibited movement after not meeting any resistance. Jongseong isn't active, but he doesn't push away either, just sits there still and relaxed. Heeseung pulls away and raises his gaze to Jongseong’s face, the latter looking careful and calm.   “You know I'm not gay, right?” he says.   “I can see that," Heeseung smirks and pushes himself into the kiss again, kneeling down in front of the younger man for convenience.   Jay reciprocates, but still whispers in rush in between the touches, “I mean it— I'm straight, hyung.”   Heeseung sighs and pulls away looking tiredly at the younger man, who grins a friendly, but slightly guilty smile and then curves his lips.   “I'm sorry. I don't mind kissing you, really, and if you need it, we can continue, but..." he shrugs, "I'm sorry it turned out that way.”   Lee gives a long, irritated look, because, what the fuck does "I'm straight, but we can continue?" mean? And what the fuck does "If you need to?" mean? Is he some kind of a cheap escort or something? “What do you care if you fuck a guy or a chick," Heeseung sighs irritated, already snapping back and getting up from his knees, intending to go to bed immediately. Screw it all up, nothing worked and Lee may as well forget about his sex symbol as his future sex partner.   “Guys don't get me hard, hyung," the younger man says calmly, keeping his eyes on Heeseung.   He still wants to yell and sulk at him in a childish way. It only comes out resentful. “Have you tried or assumed that?” "I know that.” "I'm assuming, watched some gay porn, didn't you?”  Jay is silent, but still completely relaxed, he just stares meaningfully. The pause goes a little too long, and he speaks up.   “Sorry,” he says, as if he had completed the dialogue in his mind, and now just informs Heeseung about the outcome of it,"…I'll take that as a compliment, tho.”   “What the hell kind of a compliment is that?!” Heeseung no longer wants to get into the conversation; he just aggressively takes off his warm cardigan in order to go to sleep as soon as possible.    “Well... I'm flattered you wanted to kiss me," the damn blond smiles beautifully.   Heeseung stares up for a second, but quickly looks away. Due to his complex nature, he prefers only to snap back. Destroy the relationship that has already been ruined by a rejection, it's too late to fix it anyway.   “And I'm not flattered you didn't want to kiss me.”   “I did. I kissed you back, hyung," Jongseong continues amused, and he's even more annoyed by it.   “What's that supposed to mean anyway?” He crosses his arms across and glares angrily, as Park's eyes still sparkle with amusement. He's not teasing. Then what the hell is that on his face?   “Nothing," he shrugs nonchalantly, "I like you a lot as a person, hyung. So you deserve a great kiss, too. Just not with me.   “You mean you like me, but the problem is the cock with the balls between my legs?”   Jongseong chuckles, smiling brightly, and continues, very sincerely and calmly, as if he is talking to a child.   “Well, it's not just the genitalia, of course; I'm not attracted to the male body in general. And the fact of a same-sex relationship isn't about me, but long story short... kinda. You're really cool, but like I said—   “I got it, you can stop talking now.” the older man spits out and takes off his pants, leaving him in a loose t-shirt and climbs under the blanket. He doesn't even know if what Jay said should make him feel better or more upset.   “Don't get mad at me, hyung," Jongseong says with a sad gentle smile, very, very sincere, "I'm pretty sure I'm as good as a friend as I am a lover.”   “Go to hell," Heeseung mutters, "Good night.”   “Good night, Heeseung-hyung," Jongseong says and turns off the light in the room, leaving the older man with a slightly bitter aftertaste.