Chapter 1
November 14, 2023 at 4:58 PM
“I do not even know what I should began with, but this is my last note. Autumn always was so problematic for me. With autumn blues’s start I’m always not myself. This autumn was, well… bad for me. I managed to be rude and ruin relationship with everyone. I even couldn’t sleep somedays.
Firstly I started a diary for writing here all of my days, because I usually forget what was yesterday. I didn’t even know it will turn into my worry sheets.
I succeeded a lot in this life, well, how to say a lot, almost nothing. I know a lot of people, some are evil, some are kind, but it’s hard enough to find someone who will understand you. But I found a one person in my life. Wanna share about him.
Earlier, Pin seemed to me like an inconversable person, but when we became friends, all has changed so quickly. He was a kind person, even sweet. Despite his past, he treated people with understanding and was ready to help them. He always was ready to support and help me, especially in autumn. But something happened to me, when I was near him, it seemed butterflies flying in my stomach, which is unscientific, in other matters my words aren’t about science and my heart beat faster. It was love, a feeling I had long forgotten.
I forgot about it after breaking up with Helen, but here it arose again. I liked a lot about Pin. His voice is so strict, but in the same time is soft and calmly. Since he is German, sometimes he speaks German. If you only knew how he pronounces the word “butterfly” in German. This is so cosy in his hugs, his hands are so gentle and warm, and his personality is… courageous?
He was ray of sunshine in my grey life. But I was afraid of confess him my feelings. If I will heartbroken? I see, I’ll never confess to him already, although, Pin, my dear, if you find and read it, then know that I love you. Hope I will meet your mum and say her, what a wonderful son you are.
I don’t even know what my parents will say about my action, but I love them too. They have done a lot of important things for my life. Mum and dad are so loving, they supported me when Helen left me, saying I’ll find a better person than her. They’re the best, and I love them very much.
It seems, I have nothing more to write, I just want to say goodbye. Goodbye, mum, dad, goodbye, Pin, and goodbye my dear friends. I won’t forget you.”
Dokko got up from the table. All things were almost done, but he didn't care. He stood on a chair, all his life flashed before his eyes, which made him smile. Throwing a noose around his neck, he just said thank you and took a confident step forward.
***
“Dokko, I have some cookies left, — Pin entered in the house. There was only complete silence, — Dokko? What do you think you’re doing? Is all so bad?” — a german approached to his friend’s bedroom. He started to worrying about he didn’t hear his friend. He slowly opened the door.
“Dokko… — seeing hanged Dokko, Pin dropped a bag of cookies, — oh mein Gott, Dokko…”
