Sensei Shrek

Everything was as usual. An annual routine, you might say. Naruto was running away from drunken chunins, jumping over carts and hiding in the dark alleys of seedy areas of Konoha. The tenth of October is a significant day, but not for everyone. “Victory Day” — the tipsy population of Konohagure screamed from all corners, clinking glasses and saying festive toasts. A real holiday, no other way. Victory over the cursed demon, the Nine-Tailed Fox, is not a big deal, you can drink for that. So it is now, everyone was drinking, celebrating, celebrating. They got drunk to the last glass, to the last bottle of sake and beer. In the circle of family, friends, colleagues, and anyone, because “drinking with friends is a celebration, and alone is alcoholism.” But no matter how fun it is, there is a sad part to it. Namely, that on the same day almost every resident of Konoha lost someone: a parent, sister or son. And from strong love comes strong hatred, as well as denial of what happened. But as you know, after “denial” there is a stage of “anger”. And who should people be angry at? At yourself for not being able to protect your family? Close, but no, it shouldn’t be that simple. After all, you can always find the culprit, in this case they were made by a little boy with a funny name Naruto. Shinobi in anger are scary, and drunk Shinobi are also uncontrollable. So it turned out what it turned out, namely the scene “Naruto runs away, the Chunins catch up, catch and beat”. In his experience for ten years, Naruto was still able to learn how to find hidden places, some special passages through which it was possible to cut. This time was no different from the previous ones. Naruto was calmly walking near the river when he noticed several Chunins sitting on the train. Nearby were several empty bottles, half-eaten sandwiches, sliced tomatoes, cucumbers. Uzumaki had already managed to turn off, but it was too late: he was spotted. There wasn’t much time to think about it. One thing was clear: we had to run. And Naruto ran as fast as he had never run before in his life, even at training races at the academy paired with Sasuke. Uzumaki was running, the Chunins were catching up, but Naruto was already experienced. He learned to analyze at an ultra-fast level, in which even some Junins would envy him. So, turning behind some bushes, he hid, looking out for a further destination. The gaze immediately came across the forest. Tall curly trees seemed to be lined up in a row, like loyal warriors, so it was impossible to see what was inside. Of course, this was also hindered by a huge metal fence, but there was still an entrance: the hole in the fence was just the right size for a little boy to get through. Hearing drunken screams and exclamations, Naruto, without hesitation, jumped down, crawling through the hole and finding himself inside. The forest greeted him with a cold breeze that blew over his face, and some kind of stinking smell. It smelled like rats that had died in the garbage or a dead pigeon that had not been eaten by a cat. The approaching nausea became unbearable, so the nearest bushes were used by Naruto to push the remnants of food out. The sun was not visible behind the high crowns of the trees. The rays, if they could somehow slip through the foliage, quickly disappeared. The wind stirred the trees, making them rustle loudly. But it was still quiet: the birds were not singing, and there was not even the steady tapping of the woodpecker. Naruto shivered, hugging himself with both hands. Goosebumps ran all over his body, and he shuddered. Inside, Uzumaki kept telling himself that it was because of the cold wind, not because of fear. Suddenly there was a crackling sound. Naruto immediately jumped up, shouting loudly, but no one from the nearest bushes jumped out and did not throw kunai. Uzumaki looked down at his feet: a branch broken into two parts. Scratching the back of his head, Naruto sighed in embarrassment. —Phew, I’ve lost it,” he said in relief into the silence. And then he started shaking his head. — And where did I come from? The forest rustled, as if mocking the boy’s failure. Naruto wandered around in circles, trying to find the right place, but went deeper and deeper. The rays of the sun no longer tried to climb through the tops of tall trees, and they were replaced by moonlight. It got colder, and Naruto in a light T-shirt began to shiver. All the animals of the forest revived: owls hooted, the tall grass rustled, grasshoppers began to sing their songs. Uzumaki would have wandered through the forest trying to get out if he hadn’t noticed a completely faded light. Not natural, as from the sun or the moon, but such as is usually the case with lanterns or candles. Deciding that he had gotten close to some area of Konoha, Naruto began to go to the rescue light. But the closer he got, the more doubtful he became. There was no way out of the forest, but only the trees were thinning, and it was getting viscous under my feet. Carefully stepping over, Naruto peered into the distance. Finally he saw the source of the light: a small flimsy house. Although it was difficult to call it home. A huge withered tree, from which, apparently, this shack was made. All covered with moss, some thickets and fallen bark, the house did not look too pleasant. But Naruto had nothing to choose from, so with a sigh, he carefully began to move towards the house. Finally he came over. Looking out the window, Uzumaki saw a large table with food. My stomach rumbled treacherously. Naruto looked further, but could not look like the owner. After knocking on the door, he began to wait. When five seconds had passed and there was still no response, Naruto knocked again, harder and louder. Patience was coming to an end. Is it really so difficult to just let in, or at least tell the way? — Hey, is anyone there? Uzumaki shouted loudly, and finally the door opened a crack. Naruto raised his head and jumped back in fear. There was something in front of him. He had not even seen such creatures in the books he had read at the orphanage. And no one has ever told about such an animal. It didn’t look like a person, although there were common features. But he lived in the house, so he’s definitely reasonable. Then what kind of monster is it? The green monster was looking right at him. Naruto swallowed, carefully stepping back half a step. But the monster did not react in any way, only began to close the door. “Damn, if he leaves now, then I’ll be all alone here! It’s better to ask this than to wander all my life!” — Naruto thought convulsively. The monster did not have time to close the door, as Uzumaki quickly put his foot up, but he did not calculate that the monster had more than enough strength. So, even though he stopped the door from closing, but he pressed his leg so noticeably. — Ay ay ay, — jumping on one leg, shouted Naruto. The monster stared at him in surprise. When the pain subsided, Uzumaki decided to act. — Excuse me, can you tell me how to get back to Konoha again? Naruto said quickly, not letting the monster come to his senses. The monster stared at the boy as if he were an unknown animal. But Naruto’s displeased and expectant look still forced him to squeeze out a few words. — I don’t know, — the monster growled and was about to close the door, but this time Naruto offered his hand. And he screamed again, so much so that the birds sitting on the branches woke up and scattered. The monster closed his eyes in displeasure and, grabbing Uzumaki by the scruff of the neck, dragged him into the house. — Don’t yell like that. You call every brat here,” the monster growled angrily, slamming the door. Naruto was surprised by such words. If the animals living in the forests are offspring, then who does it consider itself? Uzumaki was never famous for his intelligence, but he had already got rid of fear, so the question flew out of his mouth before he even had time to think. “Then who are you?” — interested, tilting his head, Naruto sincerely asked. The monster looked at Uzumaki with an evil look, and then growled deep in his throat: — I’m an ogre, okay? — Yeah, yeah, — Naruto nodded with a dummy, feeling the stinking smell of the ogre’s breath. It stank like hell, apparently, ogres don’t know about the existence of toothpaste. There was an awkward silence. Naruto and the ogre were standing, and no one knew what to say. Uzumaki was looking at the house from the inside, and the ogre was looking at Naruto. Still, people rarely got to him, and they never stayed like that at all. Once every three or four years, a “Chunin Exam” was held in this forest, so people could only be seen here at this time. But the children were afraid of him, and rightly so! — What’s your name? — deciding to dilute the silence, Naruto asked the ogre. He froze and stared with his big eyes. Uzumaki shivered. — Me? The ogre asked in surprise, looking at the boy strangely. Naruto nodded irritably.       — Shrek. — Shreeyek, — Naruto drawled, as if trying the name on the taste. — It’s not very similar to ours. And it sounds kind of weird. — Well, what is it, — growled the ogre, passing into the house. — Oh, well. Uzumaki looked at the house with wide—open eyes. — Interesting little house. The truth is made of wood. — Really? Shrek said sarcastically, rubbing his forehead wearily. And why did he just let this annoying bug in. — Boy, what do you want from me? — shifting his gaze back to Naruto, the ogre asked with displeasure. But I noticed a fascinating picture: Uzumaki sat down in a chair, grabbed some thing from the table in his hand and began to turn from side to side, examining it. Naruto wasn’t worried at all about the fragility of the thing, looking at the glass figure from all sides with interest. Shrek was boiling. He hated it when his things were touched without asking. He hated it when his things were touched. He hated being touched. And he hated people. (Well, there were a few exceptions, but still he poured burning hatred on most individuals of the human race) And here was a combo: four out of four. And now the ogre was really furious. — Hey, man, — Shrek towered over the boy, opening his mouth, and growled loudly. — Get out of here, huh!       Naruto blinked for a couple of seconds, shrinking, and then suddenly straightened up. Shrek blinked in surprise: usually people immediately ran away as soon as they heard his growl. This boy was very strange…       — Wow, a terrible sight, — Naruto suddenly spoke, setting the figure back on the table.       — But you know, Shrek-san, if you just breathe, the effect will be the same, I assure you.       The ogre stood and did not understand: what’s wrong with this kid. But Shrek suddenly began to feel some kind of warm sensation in his chest. He hadn’t felt this way in a very long time, so he stared at his hairy chest, touching the place where his heart should be.       — Shrek-san, did it really offend you so much that you grabbed your heart?! Naruto suddenly asked loudly, jumping up. — I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!       —No,” Shrek replied, waking up, still in shock from his sudden impulse. This boy was doing something incomprehensible to him, so we should just throw him out of the house as soon as possible.       Sighing a couple of times to calm down, Shrek looked at the boy. Small, puny, in a torn T-shirt and short shorts: the boy looked too unhappy. The ogre looked out of the window: a strong wind broke out, shaking the trees.       It would be inhumane to let him go alone in such weather, and even late in the evening.       On the other hand, Shrek is not human. He is a real honorable ogre, so human laws are not important to him, are not needed and are not interesting.       As if hearing his thoughts, a huge tree fell to the ground with a booming sound. The wind was so strong that it was able to break such a large tree. Shrek shifted his gaze to the boy. If he sends him home now, then the guy will definitely not get there. And even though Shrek was a real inhuman terrifying evil ogre, he could not let such a defenseless creature die.       — What’s your name? Shrek said, trying to make his voice as soft as possible and not so irritated. The boy stared at him in surprise.       —Naruto,” he answered uncertainly after a few minutes of silence.       — So that’s it, Naruto. The Ogre held up a finger. “You stay here until morning, and then get lost.” And don’t let me see you here at sunrise. Understood?       — Got it! Uzumaki beamed, nodding. This strange weirdo let him stay the night and, it seems, wasn’t even going to eat him. And that’s good.       Shrek sat down to eat as if nothing had happened. Naruto was looking at the house, but the smell of fried food still awakened his hunger, accumulated all day. His stomach rumbled, and Uzumaki squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms around his stomach.       r. Shrek has already allowed us to stay overnight, so asking for food will be the height of indecency. And even though Naruto was not too well-mannered, he still understood that the ogre was not obliged to share food with him. So Uzumaki could only shrink into a ball and try not to think about a large plate of delicious, freshly cooked ramen.       — Aish, — Naruto muttered softly, clutching his hair in his hands. The thought of ramen only whetted his appetite! Damn, well, that’s why it’s always like this.       — Come here. — Suddenly Uzumaki heard Shrek’s deep voice. Lifting his head from his knees, he stared at the ogre. He sat and ate, not even looking at him. Naruto got up and walked over to the table.       Shrek took a piece of some dish in his mouth and put it in his mouth. Naruto gulped loudly.       — Sit down. — And pointed with his hand to the vacant seat opposite. Uzumaki followed his order, sitting down.       The chair seemed huge. Naruto’s legs were hanging, not reaching the floor. He swung his legs back and forth, wanting not to look at the table full of food. Just the sight of the dishes made his mouth water.       — And now eat, — Shrek’s voice sounded again. Naruto looked up dumbfounded: does the ogre allow him to eat? I couldn’t believe it, but Shrek didn’t even look up, continuing to eat in silence.       Naruto started eating. After a whole day of fasting and running around, he was ready to eat a whole bull. He grabbed the dishes indiscriminately, shoving them one by one into his mouth. Hunger was taking its toll, forcing me to eat faster and faster.       Shrek looked at this Naruto in surprise. What a strange boy. He also eats like a hungry animal that hasn’t been fed for three days. He eats it by both cheeks, and already holds a supplement in his hands.       — Eat slowly, — Shrek said a little worriedly. Or else he’ll die here, and he’ll have to take out a boy’s corpse. They’ll laugh in the woods. Yes, and the conflict may begin…