Keep your distance

“It seems that Chen Yi doesn’t love me anymore,” Eddie said in a casual tone to Rui and Zong Yi, picking at a piece of cake with a spoon. There was a moment of silence as Rui and Zong Yi stared at Eddie with all their eyes. And then Rui raised his hand, looked at his watch, and clicked his tongue. “Wow, what time is it? It’s time for me to run.” “Zherui!” Zong Yi exclaimed, grabbing his sleeve, and then lowered his voice, as if Eddie, sitting right in front of them, would not hear, “This is not fair to Eddie. And to me!” Rui smiled sweetly and cupped Zong Yi’s face with his hands, exhaling happily. “I’m so glad that you two are now best friends, and you listen to this nonsense, not me,” he gave Zong Yi a short peck on the lips, pulled away, and repeated, “I have to go.” He grabbed his coat from the rack, threw on a scarf, and turned to Eddie before leaving. “No matter what you think, he still loves you. And I feel really bad for him for that.” “Get lost already, you asshole,” Eddie muttered, not taking his eyes off his cake. The bell on the door jingled, and Rui disappeared into the street. Zong Yi turned to the surprisingly calm Eddie and pursed his lips into an apologetic smile. “Sorry” “I don’t care.” Eddie waved it off. “It’s Rui; he’s always been like that.” Bai Zong Yi chuckled and placed his palms on the counter, leaning closer to Eddie. “So, why did you decide that Chen Yi doesn’t love you anymore?” Eddie looked up at him with determination. “Well, to begin with…” *** “Damn, I left my phone in the back room,” Eddie exclaimed halfway to the warehouse, where they were supposed to pick up the bar stock. Xiaoshi, one of his bartenders who was now driving, pulled over and asked: “Would you like to come back?” Eddie thought about it and then shook his head. “No, we’re late as it is,” he decided, and the car continued moving. After being silent for a little longer, Eddie smiled slyly and said, “I hope Chen Yi doesn’t freak out and announce a search operation throughout the city, because I haven’t responded to messages for a couple of hours.” Xiaoshi glanced at him warily. He obviously didn’t think Boss Yi freaking out was funny. “Maybe we should go back after all?” He suggested it again, already looking out for a place to turn around. “Nope,” Eddie snapped lightly, smiling from ear to ear. Xiaoshi simply sighed. When they returned to the bar almost two hours later (because Eddie had been arguing with the supplier for a long time about the third box of Cointreau, which he had definitely ordered, but it was not among the orders. And no, Eddie could not give in. What kind of bar can function without Cointreau?), he maybe, probably deliberately did not approach the phone lying in the other room for some time. By the time they unloaded the boxes, sorted out the documents, and checked the remaining bottles on the bar, another hour and a half had passed. To Eddie’s surprise, neither their men, who were scouring the area in search, nor Chen Yi himself had yet burst into the bar. When the business was over and there was no longer any room for delay, Eddie reached for the phone, giggling to himself. Okay, maybe he was amused by his little escapade. Maybe he wanted to make Chen Yi worry a little. Don’t judge him! However, the unlocked screen greeted him with a lack of notifications. No missed calls, no messages. Nothing. Eddie opened their chat, empty since yesterday evening, when Chen Yi texted him that he was waiting at the entrance to Bai Zong Yi’s cafe. The amusement immediately left him, as if it had never happened. And fear came. The next second, he was already pressing the phone to his ear and listening to the long beeps. First, second, third. “Eddie?” said a familiar voice on the other end of the line. Eddie exhaled all the air he had been holding in his lungs without even noticing. “Hey,” he said deliberately cheerfully, trying to calm his heart, which was still pounding from residual fear. “Is everything okay?” “Yes. Are you okay?” “Yes,” Eddie answered, and hesitated. He didn’t have much of a reason to call Chen Yi other than his own paranoia that something had happened. Because usually by the evening, Chen Yi managed to write him a dozen messages, half of which were not of the most decent content, and sometimes he also called once or twice. What the fuck? Eddie thought angrily, suddenly annoyed with the whole world. Well, he didn’t call or text; not a big deal. And when he was about to hang up, right after telling Chen Yi to fuck off for making Eddie worry (when it’s him who should have been worried!), Chen Yi unleashed his secret weapon. Specifically, in his low, quiet voice, he said into Eddie’s ear through the speaker: “I miss you.” And just like that, Eddie forgot why he was even angry in the first place. *** Eddie finished speaking and looked at him as if Zong Yi should understand everything right now, completely agree with him, and begin to develop a plan with him to take revenge on Chen Yi for no longer loving him. Zong Yi tried not to sigh heavily and too noticeably, only raised his eyebrow. “So?” “So!” Eddie slammed the table, “Don’t think I’m crazy, okay? Everyone has busy days. So I thought he must have had a lot to do. But the next day it happened again!” “He hasn’t texted all day again?” “Yes, and that’s why I texted him myself,” Eddie took out his phone and opened their chat, “Here, look.” Zong Yi scanned the screen. Me: Is everything okay at the auto repair shop? Idiot Chen Yi: Yes. How about the bar? Me: Okay too. Idiot Chen Yi: Good. “See?” Eddie exclaimed. “To be honest, I don’t see it,” admitted Bai Zong Yi, “This is normal. Rui and I have the whole chat that looks like this.” Eddie grimaced as if he had heard the saddest, most disgusting thing on the planet. Zong Yi crossed his arms over his chest. Hey, it was Eddie who said he wasn’t loved anymore. He and Rui are doing just fine, thank you very much. “Whatever you say,” Eddie waved him off, “But that’s not the case with us. Here’s our chat three days before that.” He scrolled up a little on the touchpad and turned the screen back to Zong Yi. He leaned forward, read the first couple of lines and pulled back indignantly. His ears burned and he hurriedly pressed his palms to them. “Eddie,” he said through gritted teeth, “You can’t let people read how you sexting with your boyfriend!” “It’s not sexting if I don’t respond,” Eddie replied easily. His cheeks turned slightly pink and a smile formed on his face. He reacted like this every time someone referred to Chen Yi as his boyfriend. “You didn’t respond to that?” Zong Yi was surprised. “What was I supposed to say? 'Yes, please, ' or what?” Eddie chuckled, and then shrugged his shoulders as if it didn’t mean anything, “I just showed up at his office.” “He’s very…verbal about it,” Zong Yi drawled. “Yeah, and very vocal too,” Eddie grinned, “But that’s not the point!” “Eddie, it’s just a text, and just a few days…” “Okay, okay, it’s not just about texting,” Eddie put the phone away and Zong Yi exhaled. He may be scarred for life by what he read, “After that he asked me if I wanted him to pick me up from the bar!” “What a nightmare,” Bai Zong Yi said in a flat tone, “How dare he?” Eddie exhaled impatiently, as if Zong Yi was incredibly stupid and didn’t understand obvious things. “He never asked! He just said ‘I’ll pick you up’, or ‘I already wait for you outside’” Zong Yi raised an eyebrow. “So he asked, and what?” “And I refused, of course!” Damn Zherui. He should have taken Zong Yi with him instead of leaving him here alone. Bai Zong Yi exhaled slowly, counted to ten in his head and asked: “Why did you refuse?” “I always say no,” Eddie shrugged, “He says he’ll come pick me up. I tell him not to worry. And he comes anyway. So he asked, I said no, and he didn’t come!” “Eddie…” “What?” Eddie whined defensively, “Do you know how stupid I looked when he didn’t show up?” *** Xiao Jie had huge plans for this evening. He was looking forward to having a great time with his friends at Eddie’s Bar after a long day at the auto repair shop. Moreover, brother Eddie always had free drinks for him. He said “You know why”, but Xiao Jie didn’t quite know. However, he was not going to refuse. The weekend was ahead, and he wanted to have a good time with the others, and then return home to his sweet and wonderful girlfriend, who was probably already asleep at this time, but it didn’t matter. Every time he thought about how he would go into a dark, cozy apartment and crawl under the covers with her, sleeping and warm, a stupid smile would creep onto his face. It was with such a stupid smile on his face that Brother Eddie caught him at the very entrance to the bar. “Xiao Jie!” he called, “Have you come from the auto repair shop?” “Yeah,” Xiao Jie smiled. He was still happy that Brother Eddie had returned to them, and now Boss Yi was not only the same, but also obviously very happy all the time. Xiao Jie, and everyone else, now saw Boss Yi smile every day. Although this used to happen once a year at most. “How are things going?” Eddie asked, “Not too much work?” “Nope,” Xiao Jie waved him off, “We’ve been practically sitting around doing nothing for the past few days.” Brother Eddie, for some reason, became gloomy. “Idle, then, huh?” He fell silent, thinking about something. And Xiao Jie awkwardly hesitated in one place, wondering if he could go now and catch up with the others, who had already entered the bar and were probably ordering the first round of drinks. But then Brother Eddie jumped up. “Are you driving?” “Well, yes”. “Take me to Chen Yi.” Not a question, an order. Xiao Jie mentally bid farewell to the drinks and fun friends at the bar. All the way to the auto repair shop, Brother Eddie stared out the window and refused to talk, even though Xiao Jie tried to start some small conversation. They drove through the garage doors, and Xiao Jie immediately saw Boss Yi walking towards his car from the far corner of the auto repair shop, where the kitchen corner was. “Xiao Jie? Forgot something?” Boss Yi asked as he walked closer to the driver’s side of the car. And it was at that moment that Brother Eddie unbuckled his seatbelt and walked out, saying: “Thanks” Boss Yi blinked his eyes at Brother Eddie in surprise, and then his mouth stretched into a smile. “Did Xiao Jie give you a ride?” he asked softly, and Xiao Jie immediately felt awkward, as he did every time he witnessed any interaction between his superiors now. Boss Yi was so obviously in love and happy that Xiao Jie couldn’t believe that this was the same person he had once been afraid to even be in the same room with, let alone talk to. “Yeah,” Brother Eddie shrugged, “Didn’t want to walk.” “Okay,” Chen Yi smiled wider and turned to Xiao Jie, “Thank you, you can go and rest.” Over Boss Yi’s shoulder, Brother Eddie’s face could be seen, who for some reason became even more gloomy. Xiao Jie swallowed and said quickly: “Thank you, Boss, good night.” And he hurried to get out of the auto repair shop. Whatever happened to Brother Eddie again and whatever the reason why he was unhappy again, Xiao Jie really, really, really didn’t want to be involved in it. *** “He said ‘okay’, can you imagine?” Eddie continued. “What was he supposed to say?” Eddie clicked his tongue and leaned back in his chair. He lowered his sad gaze to his palms and, fiddling with his fingers, began to lament: “Normally he would have started scolding me for not calling him to pick me up, but choosing to have someone else give me a ride when he could have done it himself.” “Wait, I don’t understand,” Zong Yi interrupted him, “But you refused.” Eddie glared at him. “So what?” he asked, “Chen Yi would be irritated anyway.” “So, you decided that Chen Yi doesn’t love you anymore because he doesn’t text you as often as before, and he’s also not irritated at you for not calling him to pick you up?” “Well, yes,” all Eddie’s anger evaporated and he rested his chin on his folded hands on the counter, “But this morning was the last straw.” *** They rarely managed to fall asleep before it began to get light outside. Eddie stayed at the bar almost until closing time, the auto repair shop closed by midnight, but even after closing, Chen Yi, as the leader of the gang, had many additional matters that needed to be resolved here and now. Therefore, having met closer to the morning rather than at night, they actively tried to make up time, taking away hours from sleep. And today they were still awake when the lazy Sunday morning was already in full swing outside. Eddie complained that he couldn’t sleep if he didn’t eat right away, so they sat at the table in the kitchen downstairs. More precisely, Chen Yi was sitting at the table with Eddie sitting on his lap. Chen Yi would become very clingy after sex, and Eddie would be too tired and enjoying it too much to resist. They were both already almost on the verge of falling asleep, Eddie lazily chewed a sandwich, washing it down with tea, for the most part without even opening his eyes. Chen Yi rubbed his forehead against him in a sharp attack of affection, and moved the tip of his nose along the fabric of his soft choker back and forth. Eddie stuck his neck out to make it more accessible. And just melted in Chen Yi’s hands from his touch. Eddie loved mornings now. A pleasant heaviness in the body after intimacy, Chen Yi’s tenderness, which he no longer had the strength or desire to complain about. He liked that he didn’t have to pretend to be anything, and he didn’t have to be afraid that Chen Yi would judge him for something. Maybe that’s why, in such a relaxed state, Eddie said, thoughtfully looking at the tabletop in front of him: “This is a really, really big table. You have to fuck me on it.” Chen Yi froze mid-motion, exhaled a noisy laugh into his neck, and Eddie jerked his shoulder from the tickling sensation. “Right now?” Chen Yi’s voice was hoarse and sleepy, and Eddie felt something sweet and heavy in the pit of his stomach. “Nope,” he shook his head, chewing the last bite, “Another time. I’m tired.” “You bet,” Chen Yi muttered. “Don’t be so arrogant,” Eddie pushed his elbow back, somewhere in Chen Yi’s stomach, and then, out of habit, said, “I’ll go home.” Because he said this every other morning, like clockwork, at that moment when it was already obvious that he was not going to go anywhere. Just like now. He had a full stomach, he was sitting in only a T-shirt and a choker on Chen Yi’s lap, and they both would definitely pass out as soon as their heads touched the pillows. But he said it anyway every time to remind him that there was such an option. That Chen Yi could kick him out of his bed if he wanted. Chen Yi never agreed. He just snorted at him, picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. Took off the rest of his clothes and laid him on the bed to cuddle him until they fell asleep. In fact, sometimes Eddie used this phrase just to get carried to bed if he really didn’t want to walk. But Chen Yi’s hands unclenched and fell to either side of the chair. “Okay,” he said, “Do you need a ride?” And Eddie suddenly felt like the most well-rested energetic person on the planet. The drowsiness was washed away from him in the blink of an eye. He straightened up, carefully controlling his expression. Swallowed with a suddenly dry throat and tried to make his voice sound as even and light as possible: “No need. I’ll walk.” He hesitated for a second, for some reason hoping that Chen Yi would stop him now. But that did not happen. Fuckery. Eddie stood up, took his plate, and without looking at Chen Yi asked: “Will you get my clothes?” Chen Yi, like an obedient dummy, actually went into the bedroom without saying a word against it. He didn’t say a word against it when Eddie reluctantly pulled on his jeans and cardigan. Didn’t say a word against it as Eddie very slowly laced his sneakers. He didn’t say a word against it when Eddie, ready to leave, turned to him and waved his hand, saying: “Bye then”. He just waved his hand in response, leaning his shoulder against the doorway to the stairs to the bedroom. It’s as simple as that. Bye then. Eddie went outside. The dawn sun was already lighting up the roofs of neighboring houses. By “home” he meant his little back room at the bar, in which had a pull-out couch, a falling-apart chest of drawers, and a nightstand where Eddie kept his keys, his charger, and his chokers. The room he had lived in since he was released from prison, and where he had not spent a single night since he and Chen Yi started dating. Fuckery. Naturally, after looking at this pathetic room and staring at the ceiling with a sleepless gaze for a couple of hours, Eddie got ready and went to Bai Zong Yi’s cafe straight to the opening. *** “Well,” Zong Yi admitted, “This is really strange.” “See,” Eddie said, “If it was just one thing, I could chalk it up to an accident. But everything is obvious here, he doesn’t love me anymore.” “You don’t really think like that,” Bai Zong Yi snorted. But Eddie looked at him with absolutely serious and calm eyes. “Come on, Eddie,” Bai Zong Yi tried to cheer him up, “If you really thought that Chen Yi didn’t love you anymore, you wouldn’t be so calm.” “I sort of expected this to happen,” Eddie shrugged. “Did you expect him to stop loving you?” Zong Yi frowned. “No, I expected him to understand that he never loved me,” Eddie tiredly rubbed his face with his palms, “I just hoped it wouldn’t happen too soon. I thought that maybe, if I didn’t bother him too much…” “Eddie,” Zong Yi breathed, “stop it.” “What? Even the last time he picked me up from your cafe, I told him…” Eddie suddenly froze. Bai Zong Yi could literally see the gears turning in his blond head. “Let me guess,” he drawled, “you said something incredibly stupid to him, and that’s what all the fuss is about?” “THAT BASTARD,” Eddie suddenly rose and jumped to his feet, “Sorry, Zong Yi, I have to run.” He flew out of his cafe so fast that he didn’t even hear Bai Zong Yi laughing after him. *** Chen Yi was still sleeping when Eddie returned to the auto repair shop. And this time he didn’t even flinch when the knife blade touched his throat. He just opened his eyes lazily, looked at Eddie and said: “You’re back.” “Since when do you actually listen when I tell you something?” Eddie growled. Chen Yi raised an eyebrow and confidently, not at all worried about the knife right in the middle of his Adam’s apple, placed his hands on Eddie’s hips. “What are you talking about?” “Don’t act like an idiot!” Eddie spat, “I’ve been telling you to fuck off my whole life and you’ve never listened!” “Oh, you noticed.” Eddie gritted his teeth. As if it was possible to fucking not notice! Yes, he almost lost all his shit out of fear that Chen Yi realized that he did not love him and was about to leave him. “You’ve never done that before,” Eddie continued to press, “What’s changed?” Chen Yi frowned, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Are you serious now? What’s changed?” “Yes! What has changed?” “Eddie, we are in a relationship,” Chen Yi said slowly, “If you say that it would be nice for you and me to keep our distance, I will do it.” Eddie was taken aback and blinked his eyes rapidly. “Not only that, since we are in a relationship, you don’t have to put a knife to my throat every time you want to have a serious conversation,” Chen Yi smiled, and then glanced down to where the blade was still pressed against his skin, “So, maybe you can remove it? Unless, of course, you want to end up tied to the bed again.” Eddie swallowed hard and grabbed the knife tightly with his suddenly sweaty palm. “And if that’s what you want, again, you can just ask. Nicely.” Eddie choked on air and threw the knife to the floor. Chen Yi immediately rose to a sitting position, ending up nose to nose with him. Eddie eagerly put both arms around his neck and pressed him closer. “Don’t do this again,” he said seriously, looking Chen Yi in the eyes. “Don’t do what? Don’t listen to what you say?” Chen Yi seemed to be having a lot of fun. Eddie didn’t find it funny. “I say a ton of crap, and half the time I don’t mean it and the other half I mean exactly the opposite,” Eddie muttered, “You know that.” Chen Yi rubbed his nose against Eddie’s nose, causing Eddie’s chest to burst with intense tenderness, pop-pop-pop, like popcorn exploding in a microwave. “It’s not just because of what you said,” Chen Yi admitted as he pulled away, “It’s just that before you said that, I thought I was doing a good job of holding myself back.” “Holding yourself back from what?” Eddie didn’t understand. Chen Yi looked him up and down with a hard and hot gaze. His hands slid up from his hips and rested on Eddie’s waist, squeezing tightly. “From the constant desire to take care of you,” Chen Yi told him in a serious tone. “Well, yeah, you said it was your job,” Eddie chuckled. “No, you don’t understand,” Chen Yi shook his head, “I really, really like taking care of you.” Eddie frowned incomprehensibly, and then Chen Yi pressed him even closer, thrusting his hips upward. And Eddie’s eyes widened in shock and sudden realization. “Oh.” “Yeah,” agreed Chen Yi, “Giving you a lift? Picking you up from the bar? Eddie, if it were up to me, I wouldn’t even let you walk on your own, I’d just carry you everywhere in my arms.” Eddie felt himself blushing to the very tips of his ears and buried his burning face in Chen Yi’s shoulder. “That’s the most fucked up thing you’ve ever said,” he muttered. And perhaps the hottest thing I’ve ever heard, he added mentally. Chen Yi laughed softly, and his shoulder shook under Eddie’s forehead. “You don’t mean this at all, or do you mean exactly the opposite?” Eddie briefly licked his lips and raised his head again to look Chen Yi in the eyes. “Exactly the opposite.” “So, no more distance?” Chen Yi asked. “Fuck the distance,” Eddie agreed. ***