Butterfly Soup

- Kurogiri, another drink. - Shigaraki, you’re drinking more than usual today. Maybe it’s time to stop? - Pour it, — he said. — I can’t concentrate, need to settle the mind down. - On the contrary, alcohol makes mind soft… Kurogiri sighed heavily as he poured Tomura a glass of ginger ale. - You’re kind of mysterious and been silent since we returned. Is something bothering you? — the nanny looked at the guy carefully. - Hm-m… I don’t know to be honest, — Shigaraki thoughtfully took the glass, looking at the overflow of liquid in it. — Such a weird feeling. I don’t understand what is this. -… Kurogiri narrowed his eyes suspiciously, remembering Milante’s words. “- …Or maybe it wasn’t hatred at all, huh? What if he just liked me at first sight and his late hormones began to play? People sometimes get confused in their emotions and mistake one thing for another…” - Shigaraki, can I ask you something? — Kurogiri began carefully, choosing words. - Go ahead. - You like spending time with Aragon-san, right? - Now — yes. She’s fun to be around. Surprisingly, with each meeting she annoys me less and less. - Then…then, what d’you think about this girl now? Do you still hate her? - No. It’s weird, but my dislike for her disappears so quickly… Usually, if I hate someone, it’s forever. But here nothing is clear at all. To be honest, I’m a little confused, — Tomura scratched the back of his head, sighing. — She’s so strange, this beetle. It’s like you look at her and can’t form a definite impression. Is she somehow…contradictory? She has her own morals and politics, but listening to her reasoning, I understand that she is still thinking in the right direction. It seems that she too cannot live in such a shitty society. It’s good, because she understands me. Doesn’t talk about it openly, but she makes it clear in every possible way that she hears what I say. She hears me, Kurogiri and sees me. He fell silent, deep in thought. “- Still, really…Aragon-san turned out to be right and you really liked her at first sight, Shigaraki?” Kurogiri’s hope began to flutter. - It’s good that you understand each other, — he nodded contentedly. — Then you should see each other more often and get to know each other better. Maybe we should organize a bonding evening? Oh, I can think of so many things! -… Shigaraki looked at the enthusiastic nanny with a poker face. — Bonding evening? What is this? - Well, look, — Kurogiri took out a psychological book from somewhere. — To improve relationships, the advice here is: “be patient with yourself and other people. It takes time to get to know a person well. You need to demonstrate sincere interest in the person. Find out what is important to this person and try to have conversations about it, take an interest in his activities. This will help the person open up to you so you can get to know them better. You need to spend more time with this person. This way you can see his behavior in different situations. Observe this person, notice the details of his behavior. A person’s actions always show more than his words. Study his lifestyle. Pay attention to what he does in different situations and under the pressure of different circumstances. Is this person active or prefers a sedentary lifestyle? Pay attention to what he eats, drinks, what he wears, and how he drives his car (if he has one). Find out how and with whom he likes to spend his free time. How does he do his job? Who are his friends and buddies? How do they interact with you and those around you? Find out his likes and dislikes. Next, listen carefully to what this person says. How does he talk and about what? Does he speak well of others or does he like to gossip and criticize? Ask a lot of questions (but not all of them and not at once, but gradually during the communication process). If you want to know something about a person, ask directly. In most cases, he will answer your questions. You can learn some things even just by watching how a person chooses an answer.” - That makes sense, — Tomura imposingly crossed his legs. — Any other practical advice there? How to interact with a girl, for example? - There is no such thing specifically, but. There is an article “How to be pleasant and friendly,” — Kurogiri leafed through the book. — If you’re interested, then guess I’ll start. It’ll come in handy in any case. Shigaraki hesitated and nodded. - So, first: “Be respectful of others and be polite to everyone you meet. This means: respect your friends, strangers, and most importantly, respect yourself. If you act judgmental or dismissive towards other people, they are likely to return negative emotions to you. Friendliness and respect will help you make friends faster. Communicate kindly and calmly with strangers, be patient asking for favors, respond directly, and remember to say “please” and “thank you.” Remember that everyone you talk to is human too. Just because you are different from them does not give you the right to be rude; treat them the way you would like to be treated. “It’s easier to see the true essence of a person by his treatment of subordinates, and not of his equals.” - Treat them the way I would like to be treated? — Tomura snorted skeptically. — Should I then bow to everyone’s feet and praise them? Admire and say what cool villains they are? Damn it, — his eyes were cracked with irritation. — They should treat me this way! I deserve it and they’re just ordinary trash! Ar-rgh… Shigaraki began to itch furiously. - Then the next step is: “Be confident in yourself. People like to be around people who are confident but not arrogant. An adequate level of confidence is knowing that you are a great person, but there is always someone better than you. If you constantly criticize yourself and are unhappy with who you are, you run the risk of people thinking the same way about you. After all, if you don’t like yourself, why should others like you? The other side of the coin is just as bad — be too self-confident, and others will think that you are so yourself that you don’t try to please anyone else. the goal is a sense of satisfaction, not excessive pride,” — Kurogiri recited, raising a finger up. - There is no one better than me. Next, — Tomura pointed a finger at him gloomily. — And I don’t criticize myself, I’m damn confident in myself, get it? Say you get it. - Yes, I get it, — Kurogiri sighed. — I read further. “Be honest, but do it carefully. It’s especially important to be honest with your friends and people who ask for your advice. People can usually easily tell who is lying and being insincere frequently; No one likes insincere people. There are tricks to being frank with someone who isn’t asking for your advice. Commenting something like this could cause either a reaction of approval or offense, depending on the person, so be aware of the situation. You’ll likely want to avoid making negative comments, no matter how true, with people you don’t know or aren’t friends with.” - It’s called being an ass-kisser, — Tomura made a scary face, kicking the nanny with his foot. — What kind of game are you play anyway? Will anything be normal there? I kill you now. - Wait a minute! — Kurogiri feverishly turned the page. — Here’s another useful tip. “Be an active listener and call people by name. One of the rules of Dale Carnegie’s successful book How to Win Friends and Influence People is to use the person’s name in conversation. The sound of our name excites a part of the brain that sleeps with all other sounds, and we like it. Our names are our identity, and talking to someone who uses them makes us feel validated. So the next time you talk to someone you know, discreetly insert their name. There are chances that he will feel a connection with you that he didn’t have before.” - Oh, that’s better. Hm-m, so I should say Milante’s name more often when talking to her, right? This will supposedly draw her attention to me, — Shigaraki calmed down and folded his arms over chest. — Okay, let’s move on. - “Watch the response. You can ask all the questions you want, be very polite, say only the right things, and still people will not react to it. This is bound to happen—you can’t please everyone. It’s important to try, but it’s also very important to know where to put your effort. In a relationship you have to give and take. If you’re always the one who puts in the effort and tries to be nice and friendly, take a closer look at the situation. If there is an explanation for this (the other person is going through a hard time, working 60 hours a week, etc.), then you will have to be a little patient. But if they always have time for others but not you, leave. You can’t be friends with everyone.” - Nope, on the contrary I’m the one who takes, — Tomura grinned. — Although, for some reason, anyone don’t give me anything special, — he added with a poker face. — Because I don’t communicate with anyone. Well, except for Milante now. What should I give her in return? Money? - You got it all wrong, Shigaraki, — Kurogiri shook his head negatively. — It meant that if someone sincerely devotes their time and attention to you, then you should also do something similar. - Hm-m… — Shigaraki thought about it. “- …Usually people ask how others are doing, after say “yo”…” - Ah! — it dawned on him. — So that’s what the beetle had in mind. Like, I should have asked how she was doing and she would have asked me the same thing in return? Damn, but I didn’t ask her anything today… Tomura scratched his neck in confusion. - Kurogiri, that means she’s going to hate me? — he turned to the nanny. — And never ask how I’m doing again? She won’t care about me anymore, I understand, and disappear forever. Complete crap. - Not necessary. But I think Aragon-san was still offended, besides she’s a girl, — Kurogiri shook his head edifyingly. — Next time start your greeting with this, then the conversation will go smoothly. Shigaraki listened to him carefully and took a glass of ale, taking a sip. - This is a little useful, — he said with an important look, pointing to the book. — Is there anything else? - Yes, there are many more useful tips. For example: “Know how to make people laugh. Everyone likes a person who can lighten the mood and make you laugh. A good sense of humor can help you a lot. If people know you like to joke around and have a good time, they’ll want to join in. It’s also a great way to be friendly because people know what to say (they want to be liked just as much as you do) — they can make jokes too! Everyone is happy. If sometimes people laugh at you, that’s good! If you can laugh at yourself, that’s a plus. This will show that you are an open person and do not think only about your image — these are two very good qualities. And research shows that if you find yourself in an awkward situation and laugh about it, people will like you more and trust you — you will become a real person in their eyes.” - Make laugh? I don’t know any jokes or anecdotes, — Tomura spread his arms to the sides indifferently. — It’s stupid. Am I a f*cking clown? - Well, girls love guys with a good sense of humor, — Kurogiri responded mysteriously. — This way you have more chances to please more girls. Laughing is good. And Aragon-san is quite a cheerful girl and has an excellent sense of humor. Think about it. Shigaraki thought about it. — D’you have any really funny jokes in your arsenal? — he suddenly asked. — Only normal ones, — he added threateningly. - Yes, sure! I have a collection of new jokes and anecdotes without a beard, I bought it the other day, — Kurogiri enthusiastically took out another book. Tomura took it from him and flipped through the pages, reading. - What is this…? “Two men and one woman are marooned on a desert island. What will happen? In the case of the French: a woman will marry one man and cheat on him with a second. In the case of Americans: a woman will marry one man, divorce him and marry a second. In the case of Russians: a woman will marry an unloved man and will grieve about it all her life. In the case of the Japanese: both men will send a request to the company head office about who should marry the woman…” There was silence. Shigaraki squeezed the book in hand, it crumbled into dust. - Um…I didn’t even have time to read anything from there, — Kurogiri looked upset at the pile of ash on the tabletop. — Did you not like it? I think it’s a good joke. - Good? This is the dumbest joke I’ve ever heard in my life!.. — Tomura hissed irritably, scratching his neck. — You damn old fart, this is not funny at all. I would look like a such idiot if said something like that. - Then I don’t have any more jokes for you, — Kurogiri responded, wiping the tabletop with a rag. — This was the only collection. You’ll have to look for it yourself. After all, the current generation has a peculiar sense of humor… - Give me that book, — Shigaraki grimly extended his hand. Kurogiri handed him the book. Tomura opened it and began to read carefully. - “Master pleasant body language. Don’t forget to smile! You will radiate positive energy and can improve the mood of everyone around you. Even if you don’t feel happy or feel very depressed, the muscles involved in smiling can trigger a feeling of lightness and happiness. Think about something good or moments from your past that made you laugh to bring out a genuine smile. People will think, why are you smiling? It takes more muscles to frown than to smile—and for good reason! Everyone should smile, not frown,” he read there. -… With a strange expression on his face, Tomura flipped the page. - “Open up. The fact is that everyone wants to be liked. All. This is simple logic — the more people like you, the easier your life is. Since everyone is fighting the same battle, help them out a little. Be open to communication. Smile, open your arms and put down your phone. The world is before you. What will come to you if you let him in? think about the people you would like to be friends with. Chances are you won’t use the adjective “gloomy.” If you want to make it easier for you to find a friend, make sure you project positive vibes. Keep your body relaxed, get involved in what is happening around you and notice people. In fact, it will become twice as easy.” Next page. - “Establish eye contact. Have you ever talked to a person while their eyes wandered around the room but never looked at you? It’s a disgusting feeling — as soon as you notice it, you want to shut up and see if it’s even noticed. Don’t be that person. If someone is too carried away, you can look away (you don’t want to play a staring contest), but if they are talking on the topic, give them your attention. You’d like it too! Some people have problems with eye contact—they just don’t make eye contact. If this applies to you, try to trick yourself and look at your nose or eyebrows. People tend to lose their minds if you don’t look at them, so fool them and yourself by looking at their orbital ossicles.” - Eye contact? — Tomura rested his cheek on hand. — How’ll this help improve relationships? “- Although, when Milante looks at me intently, I’m tempted to look away. Why? Yes, it’s too shrill and not so pleasant.” He finished ale thoughtfully and put the glass aside, immersing himself in reading. — “Mirror the movements of your interlocutor. This is a known way to create a subconscious connection between you by mirroring and repeating the other person’s movements so that you are both in the same pose, with the same facial expression, weight distribution, general body position, and so on. Try to play with this during a conversation — the imaginary “sameness” can help you. However, you should do it subconsciously, but don’t overdo it — you might get too carried away! This technique works well with peers, not with elders. Recent studies have shown that a negative effect may occur — coldness, etc. — if two subjects are in an inappropriate environment (talking about money, problems with work, and so on). Save it for a group of friends you want to get close to, not your boss.” Looking back at Kurogiri, Shigaraki watched him for a couple of seconds and when he turned, silently copied his pose. - You seem to like this book, — the nanny remarked. — There really are a lot of useful tips on improving relationships and teamwork. - Yeah. Something like that, — Tomura cocked his head to the side. — Well, d’you feel happier when I mirror you now? - Oh, sorry, I didn’t even notice that, — Kurogiri looked at him in confusion. Shigaraki rolled his eyes and went back to reading book. - “Show friendliness and respect. Your body should be relaxed. Show that you are not challenging your interlocutor to a duel. Think about how you say hello. for example, in that video where Bill Clinton and Nelson Mandela met (two people who have the right to think of themselves as important), both appeared friendly and helpful to each other, using their free hand for extra touch, smiling. They show that they respect and like each other — this will help other people like you. Use the power of touch. People need other people in order to survive and in order to be happy. If you want to create a stronger connection with someone, find reasons to touch them. Of course, within acceptable limits! Touch an arm or shoulder or even a high five. Small moments turn into connections when you add touch to them. Use it. It won’t cost you anything.” -… Tomura looked at his hand with a long, strange glance. “- …If you want to create a stronger connection with someone, find reasons to touch them. Small moments turn into connections when you add touch…” - …Turn into a connection, — the guy repeated thoughtfully. — That’s how it is. Now I have someone whom I can touch as I want and everything will be okay. Ha… A not entirely clear smile appeared on his lips and his eyes sparkled with excitement. Kurogiri looked at him carefully as placed the bottles on the shelves. Tomura silently took the book and went to his room to study practical advices.

***

Late in the evening, Milante returned home and was already soaking in the bathtub, full of foam, humming some song sounding from a speaker on the shelf. When her smartphone rang. - Hello, — she turned on the speakerphone, putting the cell on the side of the bath, lazily raising her leg and pouring water on it. - Hello, beetl… I mean, Milante, — Shigaraki’s voice came through the cell. — How’re you doing? Are you already at home? -… Milante looked at the cell suspiciously. - I’m home. Chill out in the bathroom, — she drawled, leaning back on the side of the bath. — How’ya there? What’cha doing? — Read the book, now playing with an action game. Wait…did you say “take a bath”? - Yeah. So what? - …Nothing. Bye. The call was dropped. - Eh…? What was it? — the girl stared at the screen in bewilderment. Scratching the back of her head, she shrugged and continued bath procedures. About 5 minutes later the cell rang again. Milante with a poker face silently accepted the call. - Are you finished yet? — there was a rumble in the speaker. - Hey, if you wanna something, say it. What kind of incomprehensible hanging up is this? — Milante snorted, washing her face. — Are you embarrassed? This is not a video call, so what difference does it make where I am now? - Video call? — Tomura pushed the cell away and pressed the button. — Take it. - Yeah, “right now”, — the girl chuckled, rejecting it. — You’ll get by, pervert heh. - Huh? You were the first to tell me that you were splashing around naked in the bathroom, — Shigaraki snorted in embarrassment. — Like, should I be interested in this? - You asked what I was doing, I answered, — Milante rolled her eyes. — Did you want something or did you just get bored? - Yes, I wanted to. Are you going to join the League? Set a condition if you want and join. - The answer is — no. There will be no conditions, — the girl answered lazily, yawning. - Tch… Okay. Bye. He hung up again. Milante smiled strangely and closed her eyes, enjoying the moment and warm water. Relaxed, she suddenly fell asleep right in the bathroom.

***

Throwing his smartphone onto the bed, Tomura stared gloomily at the computer screen. — I’m already tired of her refusals…and why the hell did I even know about the bath? — he grumbled irritably. — What is this? Lure? Maybe she’ll send some more naked pictures, huh? The guy fell silent. His face immediately turned red from these thoughts. A picture of Milante bathing with all the details (without censorship) suddenly vividly appeared in his head. -… Grabbing his head, Shigaraki suddenly hit forehead on the table with all his might. - Argh!.. How can I unsee this?! — he screamed indignantly, eyes bulging. — What a damn beetle… What the hell? Looking around, Tomura grabbed a bottle of water from the table and splashed it in his face. Flowing around with water, he stared at the wall with an unblinking gaze, desperately itching. - What was it? — after a few minutes, he shook head in bewilderment, picking up the controller. — Some kind of bullshit… Guess I had too much drink today. Hunched over, Shigaraki somehow calm his mind and continued passing the level.

***

The kindness that I touched when I breathed in,

Will one day become the kindness that I saved.

If I transcend loneliness and become connected with you,

Then in the blink of an eye

I will see a thousand moments that will never happen again.

Some will say it’s meaningless.

But look at this flame,

Filled with discarded sadness.

It’s not a lie.

It’s not a lie.

Wherever the future may lead us,

I feel that we will be connected,

Because someday I will certainly save

You, who was the source of my nightmares…

I can save.

With my tormented heart in the midst of a journey into darkness,

I trace our relationship just ended.

Even the memories that I felt were completely withered,

I vaguely noticed that they were not completely dry yet.

The sky, look, it is expanding.

Even unnecessary things are sometimes dear to us.

It is so sad that I could cry.

Please amaze me with your smile.

Wherever the future leads us,

I feel that we will be connected,

Because someday I will certainly save

You, who was at the source of my nightmares.

I can’t say I lived for such shaky things.

But these hesitations are definitely calling to me.

It’s not a lie.

It’s not a lie.

I stand in this distorted world.

No matter how many times

I am overwhelmed by the

Sound, how my heart collapses,

I don’t forget about the dam that I built in it.

Wherever the future may lead us,

I feel that we will be connected,

Because someday

I will certainly save

You, who was at the source of my nightmares…

I can save.