Spices

      An isolated scientific center, formally subordinate to the Detapa Council, but actually dedicated entirely to the needs of the Obsidian order, was located on Cardassia Prime, but far from the capitals and major settlements. Garak and Julian arrived there incognito.              When they were left alone for the first time in the house that had been allocated to them, Garak wondered, while examining the adjoining garden, how curiously their lives had changed. On DS9 they played the roles of a tailor and a Starfleet doctor brilliantly. Now they had to try on the new ones — Julian would become a scientific consultant and a scientific object at the same time, and Garak himself… Well, his role was not fully defined, but Tain, who had said good-bye to them at the shuttle, remarked casually:              «Let`s just say I feel better with him under your care.»              Garak wasn`t entirely sure who was looking after whom, or why Tain should even be concerned about them, but either way — no one wanted to separate them. Not that Garak was afraid of being alone, but he found it unwise to separate. Cardassia had changed, and until he learned enough about it, Julian seemed the only predictable element.              «Maybe because I love you?» came back to him.              Garak looked at the pale flowers that were dying without moisture. The one who used to do the gardening neglected his duties and brought the plants to a terrible state. The flowers with drooping leaves were dropping their petals and slowly agonizing. Garak looked around and saw the irrigation system hiding into the shadows, then went back to the house and found a panel on the wall, hidden behind an ornate decoration. Soon, moisture sparkled in the air, refreshing the garden.              «Would you have agreed to run away with me?» Another memory.              Garak watched the moisture wash over the leaves, watched the flagstones slowly darken. Light penetrated drops, and they splitted it into thousands of rainbows.              «Or maybe you`re trying to run away from me now?» Julian had never said it, but in Garak`s mind he looked straight in his eyes and a bit mockingly. The gardening was finished, and the irrigation system was set up. He could go back to the house.              Garak hesitated. The flowers smelled stronger after watering, the spicy smell hung in a thick cloud, and Garak took a deep breath of this exceptionally Cardassian scent.              Could such a drastic change be trusted?..       

***

      In the first three weeks they barely spoke, except for kardasi lessons, which with Garak has kindly agreed to help Julian. The doctor`s abilities had been remarkable before, but now that the mask had been torn off and trampled on, it turned out that he was much more talented. He easily remembered difficult moments, got his bearings in a huge array of information very well, and everything seemed to come easily to him.              With each passing day a feeling grew in Garak that he had never seen a tenth of what was opening in front of him now.              Julian had used to charm him with his innocence and naivety before, but now he became a puzzle, and Garak couldn`t decide which image he liked best.              And how real was the Julian in front of him now.              Garak waited for the conversation to continue. The Julian he had known for so long would have been the first to break down, would have tried to find out if his feelings had found response. The Julian before him now didn`t show any interest in the answer.              Garak didn`t want to force things, but he was beginning to think that it was what Julian was seeking for. He forced him to speak first about what really united them, about feelings that Garak had been used to neglect for too long.       

***

      «The Obsidian order is very determined,» Julian said when they were having dinner. «The scale of their researches is impressive.»              «Indeed?» Garak inclined his head slightly.              Julian looked him up and down and grinned.              «What do you think, will I be able to take the lead of these researches?..»              Garak coughed, as if there were too much pepper in the food. Red chili, which he had to meet on DS9, where they knew nothing about the spices he was used to in Cardassian cuisine.              «Take the lead?» Garak repeated slowly. «I have no doubt of your abilities, my dear. But it seems to me that the Obsidian order is an organization too conservative to allow such an important post to be held by someone…»              «Lacking the ridges?» Julian continued to grin.              «Someone from the Federation.» Garak raised his hands. «Don`t get me wrong, doctor…»              «Julian,» he corrected, his face unchanged.              «Julian, the principles of the Federation are not at all close to Cardassia, and besides…» Garak`s eyes narrowed. «You are still used to save lives, and the Obsidian order is very good at taking them away.»              Julian gave him a careless salute with his glass.              «Let`s have a bet, Garak,» he suggested.              «Have a bet?»              «I`ll take the lead of these researches,» Julian promised.              «What are we betting on? What will your bid be if it turns out that this will not happen?» Garak leaned forward a little.              «And what will you bet?» Julian put down his glass on the table.              «Well, if you`ll turn out to be right — which, of course, you will never be — I will disclose to you one personal secret,» Garak said, following the flash of awareness in Julian`s eyes.              «A high stake,» said Julian. «I`ll have to invent something similar to answer that.»              «I won`t rush you.» Garak chuckled, sure that Julian wouldn`t read in his face how excited he really was about the former Starfleet doctor`s desire to take the lead of research, conducted by the Obsidian order. «You didn`t even set dates for the bet.»              Can someone who has not proven their loyalty to Cardassia end up in such a post?..              How much has Cardassia changed, if this became possible?       

***

      It didn`t seem long, but the garden had so markedly changed. The shrubs that surrounded the house bloomed, the flowers spread out and grew strong, and the veylee trees lifted their branches to the sky.              Standing on the garden path, wrapped in twilight, Garak breathed in spicy scents of Cardassia, listened to the rustling and sounds of small insects and nocturnal animals that woke up and were preparing to hunt down prey, seek out sweet fruits, and rush through the darkness towards their own small but important goals.              Did he ever think that he would actually return to Cardassia and be able to see and feel all this again?..              «Would you have agreed to run away with me?»              At the time, Julian didn`t wait for his answer. One could see that he had made one up himself, taking silence as the value of a variable in an equation that he did not intend to solve. But Garak didn`t answer not because he would have said «I wouldn`t.» or «Of course I would.» He kept silence because he didn`t know the real answer.              Standing in the gathering gloom, smelling acute odors that were settling as a spice on his tongue, Garak still couldn`t find it.              «This garden needs a firm hand,» Julian`s voice rang out. He came up behind him without making a sound, and Garak was sure that he stood in the dark for a while, watching him. «Will you take care of it?»              «You think I should stay here, my dear, don`t you?» Garak looked at him briefly. «In the capital…»              «You won`t go to the capital without me,» Julian spoke confidently and calmly. «You won`t leave me either now or ever later.»              «How can you be so sure? Aren`t you too convinced of your irresistibility?» Garak chuckled.              But Julian didn`t answer. When Garak turned his head, he was not there, as if he had never actually left the house, only soft, muted light was streaming from the door that remained open, already attracting the lightest of moths.