We will always be together, Yuri

      Silence. Only the quiet ticking of the clock against the far wall and my uneven breathing. Outside the window, evening turned to night, and the office was plunged into darkness. Reclining next to me, leaning back on a chair, and already dead, Yuri looked out of the windows with her empty eyes. Her purple hair, falling over her shoulders, forehead and the chair behind her, still remained beautiful. The sweet face on her left cheek was decorated with a fresh strip of blood, which I wanted to wipe with the same towel soaked in hot water when I removed the paint from her soiled face at home the day before the school festival. The two deep wounds she inflicted on herself remained on the school uniform in the form of two bloodstains on her chest and stomach. A puddle of blood spread across the floor, soiling and soaking into her clothes. The bloody knife lay a little further away, leaving traces of the same blood on the palms. There was blood everywhere, but not on me. I was afraid to touch the dead body of the girl I had been so attached to all this time, but I really wanted to. I wanted to hold her close and never let her go from my arms again, but I couldn’t. I was just looking at her, sitting a couple of feet away on the floor, my arms wrapped around my knees bent to my chest. I no longer had tears, I looked at her and suffered in silence, not believing my eyes. Sometimes my gaze left Yuri to the wall clock: I counted every hour I spent with her in the dark of night, waiting for dawn.       The morning came, and I had the opportunity to examine my beloved in detail again. As then, when with each new meeting she became more beautiful in my eyes, so now I could not get enough of her beauty. The blood slightly lost its bright red hue, the skin turned pale, but I did not pay attention to it. Having decided on confident actions, I managed to get up from the floor. Severe fatigue and numb limbs reminded me that I had been sitting in the same position all night. My head ached from lack of sleep. Dragging my feet with difficulty, I came closer to Yuri and sat down next to him, no longer afraid of getting dirty with blood; he took her by the shoulders, feeling the fabric, and then hugged her tightly, slowly caressing and fingering her hair in his hands. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, and my body was shaking with suppressed sobs. In the oppressive silence, an onlooker could only hear the pitiful sobs that were getting louder. I pressed my lips to her neck, moving higher, already kissing her cheek. I noticed the blood on her face and tried to wipe it with my hand, but in the end I couldn’t — she was already baked on it. I brushed the falling hair from my forehead and froze, looking at her. I don’t know how much time passed, how much I looked at her, forgetting about everything, but in the end I managed to do what I should have done from the very beginning: I merged with her in a long kiss, feeling cold and immobilized lips, caressed a gentle smooth face with both hands, unable to stop. Tears flowed down our faces, mixing with blood. Finally pulling away from her lips, I looked into her eyes and gently closed my eyelids. He sat down next to her, hugging Yuri’s shoulders with one arm. I could feel my clothes getting soaked in blood, but it didn’t bother me anymore. Our bodies were touching together, although the heat of her breath was no longer felt. My heart was beating, intending to break my chest with its rapid beat: I still could not calm down. So we sat with her all day, although it was not very convenient. Trying to take a more appropriate position, I accidentally moved the chair behind us, from which he immediately fell to the floor. Losing my balance, I fell, letting go of Yuri, who landed next to me with a thud. A real horror seized me, and with a great effort of will, I jumped up and picked her up, as it seemed to me, but fatigue took its toll. Our bodies fell to the cold, bloody floor. I was lying on top of Yuri, pinning her down with my weight, unable to move. Her breasts rested against mine, and our faces touched each other. This position of the bodies suited me quite well, and I fell asleep with my head on her shoulder.       When I woke up at night, I looked around. Nothing has changed: we were still lying together, and the objects and furniture were in their places. The moon shone brightly on our bodies. I grabbed Yuri’s palm and took her index finger in my mouth, as I did at home when I hurt myself, and she helped me as a “friend”. How wrong I was to call her just a friend, because we were planning something more than an ordinary friendship, although it was too early to think about it then. I licked finger after finger. Tongue and lips stuck to the dead skin. Licking my palm completely, I put it to my cheek. But we had a chance to confess everything and be together… to love each other… But it’s all Monica’s fault. It is Monica, and no one else. She made Yuri kill himself. However, I got rid of her influence, and now no one will prevent us from being together forever. “I love you,” I confessed, realizing that she no longer hears me. “I will always love you.” I let go of Yuri’s hand and brought her head, turned sideways, to my face and kissed her on the lips again. I hoped and wanted to believe that they would find taste and warmth, but time convinced me otherwise. Yuri can’t be brought back.       The first rays of the sun penetrated into the room when I woke up from a long kiss. Until now, I was in some kind of prostration, not noticing that I spent the whole night only with her lips. Pulling away, I saw my beloved. Her natural beauty fascinated me: pale skin, black blood, a special expression on the face of a dead girl and a perfect physique. I carefully tied the loose red knot of the collar of her white shirt; opening my eyelids, I looked into the lifeless and dull eyes that had once been the color of hair, and closed them back. Remembering how we read the book together, I decided for myself to finish what I started. Having risen — fortunately, my strength was returning to me — I lifted Yuri and placed him with his back to the wall where we once sat at a book. “I’ll make us some tea. There is nothing better than reading with a cup of tea,” I said to the girl, preparing tea accessories. I had to fill the kettle with water, but I didn’t want to leave Yuri alone. “I’ll be quick. Just a minute.” I went out into the corridor with the kettle, walking briskly to the nearest fountain. Turning the corner, Yuri appeared in front of my eyes, cutting her left hand, but I managed to quickly drive away this unpleasant vision. When I got to the fountain, I turned on the faucet, the water from which flowed unbearably slowly. I was impatient to be next to Yuri, and the jet seemed to mock me, flowing out in small drops. In fact, it took less than a minute before the kettle was filled to the required volume, and I ran to the classroom, wanting to see my beloved again. Of course, nothing changed in the office after I left, and I was relieved to put the kettle on to boil, meanwhile preparing two cups with oolong. After pouring the already boiled water into the cups, I put them on the floor next to Yuri. There were still sweets and the book “Portrait of Markov” in my bag. I sat down next to Yuri so that our shoulders touched each other. I was no longer distracted by her proximity, as before. Having opened the book on the page where we stopped the last time and holding it so that, if Yuri were alive, she would be comfortable reading with me, we began to read. Her drooping head looked with closed eyes at the pages I was turning over one by one. Between reading, putting down the book, I drank tea, which cooled down with the next new sip, and tried chocolates, trying not to remove the wrapper. Thus, despite the small volume of the work, the whole day passed for this lesson. The sun was setting, illuminating the study with its orange light, and reading was becoming more difficult by the minute. Tea has long been drunk for me and for Yuri. There were only a few pages left until the end. Now it seemed to me that the main character was not at all like my beloved. No one can be like her, because she was the most special of all the people I met. But I liked the book, because Yuri chose it especially for me. Especially for us. Completely satisfied with the finale, I gently slammed the book shut and put it away. Smiling at Yuri, he picked up a bag of sweets and, lowering his lower jaw with his fingers, put one of them on her tongue, although he understood that she would not be able to taste it, would not be able to swallow the candy. Closing my mouth, I tried to remove the purple hair behind my ears, but they continued to fall on my face. Leaving my hair alone, I had to get up to put the tea set back in place. After cleaning up, I sat down next to Yuri again, hugging him by the shoulders. These two days spent with her, surprisingly, were not so bad. Naturally, the time spent with her alive was the best. However, it was the first time we were as close as we are now.       That night, the moon was hidden behind clouds, so in the office, immersed in darkness, I could not see Yuri. I didn’t want to sleep, and thinking about something, I didn’t let the girl out of my arms.       Early in the morning, as soon as the light penetrated into the classroom, I went to the place where Yuri killed herself. Next to the blackened pool of blood was a kitchen knife, which turned out to be in my hand. I didn’t know why, despite having a collection of knives, she committed suicide with a kitchen knife, but there was no point in thinking about it now. I looked at the blood, remembering her words. She talked about how much she wanted us to be together. She wanted to possess me completely, my body, as I wanted to possess her now. I accepted her feelings, but Monica still forced her to kill herself, apparently thinking that she would get me. But no, I’ve already made my choice. I chose Yuri because I love her.       I sat down opposite her, looking her literally from head to toe. Once snow-white and bloody, now long socks, a blue skirt and a school uniform. Everything excited me, especially the sweet face, which does not lose its beauty after death. I leaned against the wall next to her and confidently stabbed myself in the stomach with a knife that I held in both hands. It was followed by a second one in the same place. The third blow was struck in the chest, after which I threw the knife away and hugged Yuri, not paying attention to the fountain of blood that was already mixing with hers. I stroked the delicate hair of my beloved, talking to her out loud: — We will always be together, — my voice became quieter with each new word that I squeezed out of myself. — We’ll always be together, Yuri.