In my mother’s footsteps

      Briarlight crawled out of the mecidine den, and tried to stretch. Due to a growing belly and a broken spine, she did not do it very well. Her mother, Millie, immediately ran up to the she-cat and began to lick the warrior. - Good morning, - she cooed. - How did you sleep? - All right, - replied Briarlight after a little hesitation. Such excessive care on the part of her mother embarrassed her too much. - Are you sure? - Millie continued. - Aren't you suffering too much? I know it's very hard for you! In your position!       Briarlight slowly released its claws from her front paws - it was beginning to dislike all this. Millie, meanwhile, noticed her daughter's tension and said in a reproachful tone: - You shouldn't do that. I'm your mom! I'm worried about you! - I'm... I'm not a little kitten anymore! - Briarlight said through her teeth. - I'm doing fine and I don't need your care! Instead of constantly fooling around with me for no reason, it would be better to pay attention to Bumblestripe and Blossomfall! Or have you forgotten what happened to your second daughter, who felt unnecessary?       Millie jumped back as if from a blow. The gray warrior pressed her ears to her head and bared her teeth, repeating the movements of her daughter. It is not known how all this would have ended, but suddenly Jayfeather and Leafpool came out of the medicine den. - What's going on here? - medicine she-cat asked. Mother and daughter immediately calmed down and smoothed their fur. - It's okay, Leafpool, - Briarlight immediately responded. - Millie and I just had a bit of a fight. - That's good, - Jayfeather said. - And we're after herbs. Briarlight, do you want to come with us?       She-warrior visibly perked up: - Yes, I want! - That's great! - Leafpool purred. - We can split up and find everything we need faster!       Crawling up to Jayfeather, Briarlight pressed against his side, and headed by Leafpool, the cats went to the exit from the camp. However, crawling out of there, Briarlight felt an unkind look on her, and turning in his direction, the warrior noticed that Millie was boring her and Jayfeather with her eyes.

***

- Look for catnip, - Leafpool asked already in the forest. - And I'll find goldenrod and celandine.       By the tone of his mother, Jayfeather realized that she wanted to leave him alone with Briarlight. Medicine he-cat nodded, and accompanied by she-warrior went in one direction, and Leafpool - in the other. - How are you? - Jayfeather asked when he and Briarlight had gone a good distance from the place where they parted with medicine she-cat. - I'm fine, - she-warrior replied. - Only... - she-cat's claws have released from her front paws. - It annoys me that Millie still treats me like a little kitten!       Jayfeather stroked tail on Briarlight's side: - Don't worry. I'm sure she'll soon realize that you're able to take care of yourself and there's no need to rush around with you.       Briarlight, though with great effort, turned the back of the body to the other side: - I feel that our kittens will appear soon... I will give them a life in exchange for my already broken one. Is it worth it?       Jayfeather find the place between the warrior's ears with his muzzle, then ran his tongue over it: - Calm down, please. Try not to think about it. - This is impossible - not to think about it in my position... - Briarlight gritted her teeth, trying to restrain the surging emotions. Although Jayfeather could not see her tears, the warrior hid her muzzle on the medicine cat's chest. Jayfeather felt her breath on him, and hugged her with his tail. - It may not happen soon, but I will miss you very much, - medicine cat finally whispered. - If I survived Hollyleaf's death without any problems, then I will most likely survive yours very hard. It was the first time I really fell in love with someone...       Briarlight gritted her teeth even harder, so that she bit the inside of her cheeks until it bled. Her mouth was filled with a salt-metallic taste. - Let's go, - warrior said after a while. - We need to find mint before Leafpool and the others miss us.       Jayfeather nodded silently, got up on all four paws and followed on, side by side with Briarlight.       Already in the camp, in the tent, when Briarlight was not there, Jayfeather asked medicine she-cat: - Leafpool... You know that, right?       A light brown tabby she-cat with white breasts and paws turned to her son: - About Briarlight and you? Yes, my good one, I know. Almost everyone in ThunderClan knows ... Jayfeather abruptly recoiled from his mother, and widened his eyes. - Don't look at me like that, - Leafpool's calm voice became firmer. - It is not difficult to guess about it at all.       The blind healer just sighed: - You understand me, right? After all, this happened to you once!       Now Leafpool sighed already: - Yes, I understand. But anyway, it's easier for you than for me. After all, I had to hide my pregnancy from other cats, and your father was from the WindClan... Double violation of the code. - And you weren't afraid?.. - The first time - very much. And then it got easier. I had a reason to leave the camp for a long time, and the Squirrelflight was willing to help ... - Leafpool sighed again, and Jayfeather realized that she was remembering Hollyleaf. - But can you give me some advice? - medicine he-cat asked. - So to speak, from life experience...       Leafpool shook her head: - There's nothing you can do about it... Would it be another cat, or if Briarlight were healthy... But even then, you wouldn't need my advice. She would just hide the name of the father of her kittens from the Clan. If the queen does not want to announce the father of her kittens to the Clan, she has the right not to do so... - medicine cat released her claws, remembering what happened at one time between Squirrelflight and Bramblestar because of the adoption of her kittens.       And then, for the first time since the secret about parents of he, Lionblaze and Hollyleaf's was revealed, Jayfeather allowed himself to approach his mother and snuggle up to her. Leafpool shuddered in surprise, but still clung to her son in response and hugged him with her tail - warmly, motherly. - Thank you for this conversation, - Jayfeather whispered. - Although our relationship with Briarlight cannot be hidden from the Clan now, I feel a little better, - medicine he-cat paused a little more, and then repeated: - Thanks.       A few days after this event, Jayfeather lay in his tent and blinked blindly, still trying to get used to the loss of the gift. Leafpool was sorting through the herbs, and Briarlight went out for a walk. Suddenly, Graystripe, the father of Briarlight, her brother and sister, ran into the tent. Jayfeather could not see him, but he felt the excitement of the gray warrior. - What's the matter, Graystripe? - Leafpool asked.       The senior warrior exhaled, clenched his teeth and spoke in one breath: - Briarlight is about to give birth!       Upon hearing the news, Jayfeather blew up on his bedding. He was completely unprepared for this moment. He thought that about a week would pass, and he and Briarlight would still have time to enjoy each other's company. «I have to be there, why am I lying there?» - one obsessive thought tickled the medicine cat's consciousness. Leafpool had already collected the necessary herbs, and was waiting for her son, Graystripe rushed off to his daughter.       Finally, both medicine cats ran out of the tent and approached the pile of cats standing over the suffering Briarlight. Graystripe was sitting next to Millie, who was stroking her daughter's heaving side with her tail. - Hush, hush, - grey she-warrior was saying. - Be patient, everything will end soon! «She don't guesses, how», - thought Jayfeather. Leafpool, meanwhile, was already shouting, pushing the crowd aside: - Let the medicine cats through! We will help her!       Leafpool squeezed between Poppyfrost and Lionblaze, put the herbs on the ground, and began to help Briarlight. Jayfeather just stood there, not taking any active action. How could he? He's blind. The medicine he-cat even pressed his ears in despair so as not to hear the suffering of Briarlight. But soon, through all this mixture of voices, he heard her calling him: - Jayfeather... Jayfeather!       From this, the medicine he-cat seemed to wake up. The blind cat came closer by touch and sat down near the head of the she-cat. - How are you? - he asked softly. - I don't know... It's hard to describe... I seem to be fine... But at the same time I feel weak... Life seems to be slowly leaving me...       Jayfeather gritted his teeth. It is not known how all this would have ended, but Briarlight spoke to him again: - We have two she-kittens... I wish you could see them... - What are they like? - Jayfeather asked, feeling his voice tremble treacherously. - One is dark brown, like me. And the second one is gray and striped, like you. - Briarlight... - to the trembling voice of the medicine cat, the trembling paws and the tip of the tail were added. - I want a kitten like you to be called Briarkit... In honor of you ... - Briarkit, - the dying she-cat repeated in a low voice. - And I would like to call the second kitty a Bloomkit. - Bloomkit... - Jayfeather echoed.       Briarlight made an effort, turned to the kitties, and licked first the Bloomkit, then Briarkit. Then the warrior put her head back on the medicine cat's paws: - This is the end, Jayfeather. I'm leaving, - although Jayfeather did not see it, the blue eyes of Briarlighr became sad. - I so wanted you and me to raise them together... But they are destined to grow up without knowing about their real parents.       Medicine cat ran his tail over his eyes: - I would really like that too...       Jayfeather crouched closer to the ground and pressed against the head of the Briarlight. The he-cat buried his muzzle in her short fur, and even opened his mouth to suck in the smell of the she-cat more strongly. To take a deep breath once, and never forget. Suddenly, the medicine cat felt a push in the side, and then Millie's voice was heard: - All, get lost! You don't deserve to sit next to her! It's because of you that she died! The murderer! And also a medicine cat!       Jayfeather was taken aback for a moment - he did not expect that such a calm Millie could throw such words. Graystripe came closer to his mate: - Millie, why? Jayfeather is not to blame for this... - No, he is! - the she-cat hissed. - He killed our daughter! If it wasn't for him, she wouldn't have kittens, and she would still be alive!       A few minutes passed, and Millie's no-cat scream reached the Jayfeather's ears. The medicine cat realized that this meant only one thing - Briarlight finally died. Jayfeather flattened his ears and squeezed his eyes shut: «But now she'll to hunt with StarClan, - he thought. - In a better world for her...»       Jayfeather wanted to try again to approach Briarlight, but Millie pushed him away again, hitting him with a paw with claws out: - You have nothing to do near her! - she hissed. - Be grateful that I let you name one of her kittens!       And then suddenly, behind the ThunderClan cats, the firm voice of Bramblestar rang out: - Millie, let Jayfeather pass to Briarlight.       Jayfeaher turned around - and noticed the ThunderClan leader along with the Squirrelflight. The deputy looked sympathetically at the medicine he-cat - even if he did not see her eyes, but he felt how she was looking at him. - But he is... - Millie began. - Did you not hear the leader's order? - Squirrelflight grinned. - He said - let Jayfeather pass - then let him pass!       Millie twisted her muzzle, but obediently moved away from her daughter's body. The medicine cat approached the former she-warrior and fell down next to her. Millie, meanwhile, turned to Bramblestar: - And what are you going to do with him? As a leader, you must punish the cat who violated the warrior code! I would like to hear what punishment you will choose for the murderer of my daughter, Bramblestar!       The leader visibly thought. Then he raised his head and said: - There will be no punishment.       A surprised rumble swept through the crowd of ThunderClan cats, and Bramblestar added: - There will be no punishment, because, as I believe, Jayfeather has already been punished enough by the death of Briarlight and the fact that he will never see his daughters. What could be worse than losing someone you truly loved? - with these words, the leader of the ThunderClan cats squinted at Squirrelflight.       Millie jumped up from her seat and fluffed her fur, indignant: - But because of him, Briarlight died! You have to kick him out of the Clan!       Bramblestar lifted his tail, calling the cat to silence: - Millie! Something I do not know you under the name Milliestar, so that you can decide the fate of the ThunderClan cats! At the moment, I am the leader, and I will decide what punishment the culprit will suffer, - Bramblestar's tail dropped to the ground, indicating that the conversation is over. Leader turned around and went to his tent, and the Squirrelflight stayed for a while: - Jayfeather... Have you already decided what to do with the she-kittens? - Yes... - the medicine cat answered, reluctantly tearing himself away from the dead Briarlight. - I'll give them to Daisy. I'm sure she'll grow the best ThunderClan warriors out of them!       Squirrelflight licked her adopted son on the cheek and hurried after the Bramblestar. Jayfeather sighed heavily, and rose to his paws: - Can someone help me take them to the nursery? - I'll help, - the voice of the Lionblaze was heard. - I just wanted to visit the Cinderheart.       The medicine cat carefully tore off Briarkit from the Briarlight, and Lionblaze took Bloomkit. The brothers walked slowly towards the nursery.              Squeezing into the nursery, Jayfeather tried to determine the location of Daisy by the smell, and when he succeeded, the healer approached the queen, Lionblaze stood next to him. Jayfeather lowered Briarkit to the ground, and before Daisy had time to ask a question, he said: - Daisy, Lionblaze and I have brought Briarlight's kittens. Maybe you've heard that I'm their father... - the medicine cat crumpled from paw to paw, and continued: - Since Brialight died, there is no one to take care of them. I entrust my daughters to you. Grow out of them worthy cats so that the whole ThunderClan can be proud of them.       A fawn she-cat with a scratch on her cheek listened attentively to the medicine cat, and then nodded: - All right, Jayfeather. I will take care of them as if they were my own kittens.       Lionblaze put Bloomkit next to Briarkit, and then ran up to his mate, Cinderheart, who was hugging her three kittens - Fernkit, Hollykit and Sorrelkit. - Well, hello, - the gold warrior rubbed himself first on the Cinderheart, and then in turn on all the kittens. - How are you here? Haven't you missed me yet?       Jayfeather flattened his ears and left the nursery - he did not want to listen to all this at all. Mostly because the medicine cat was jealous of his brother, because he could never be happy like him. Somehow, blindly bumping into other cats, Jayfeather reached his den and flopped helplessly on the bedding. Leafpool immediately approached her son and began to say something soothing, but Jayfeather did not listen. After waiting for the medicine she-cat to leave, he-cat found the one paw with second one and slashed at it with his claws. A nasty smell of blood immediately hit his nose. Jayfeather didn't care about the consequences, he wanted to calm the heartache. The scratches will heal in a few days, but the death of Briarlight will leave a mark on his soul for a long time...       In the late afternoon, Jayfeather asked Leafpool to bring him to the Lake to sit near the water and think. The medicine she-cat left her son on the shore, and she went to collect marigolds and cobwebs. For some time the medicine he-cat sat silently on the shore, waiting for the mentor to leave, and when, in his opinion, enough time had passed, Jayfeather approached the water so that his front paws were in it, and with all his strength hit one paw on the water surface, then the second. When the forces for this occupation were exhausted, Jayfeather moved back a little, threw his head back to the sky, and a grieving, no-cat mew escaped from his throat, which began to turn into a howl. He-cat was howling, trying to calm the pain of his heart.