Instruction manual to Uchihas

These recommendations were created by an Uchiha, as the author cannot fully grasp how one can really love them. But perhaps this guide will help others to love the Uchihas and avoid collateral damage as well. How an Uchiha makes a snowman: Itachi: guards the snowman once it’s made. If something threatens the snowman, Itachi will kill everyone, who he made the snowman with, except for the closest person. After that, he will disappear in an unknown direction, resenting himself and joining a Snowmen Protection Group. Sasuke: gets mad at Itachi. First, he avenges those who made the snowman. Then he finds out the truth, gets even madder and goes to tear the snowman apart. After all, it was the protection of the snowman that led to the murder of all those people. Madara: wants to make a snowman together with a certain person. In the process, other people come to admire the work and ask to join in. The person with whom Madara began to make the snowman devotes too much time to these new people (and not to Madara exclusively). Madara is mad. He decides that there is no place for happiness and hope in his life and starts breaking the snowman to pieces while screaming in front of shocked audience. Obito: is making a snowman with great enthusiasm, when he gets a snowball in his face. What is more, turns out, there is no carrot. His snowman-building mood is gone. So, he stops, having decided that such a snowman is not authentic, it cannot possibly be a part of a real world, and therefore the person who he made it with, can’t be either. But all this is not even important, as such a world as a whole cannot be real. Obito leaves to build a new world in order to make the same snowman with the same person, but so that there are no snowballs flying in his face, but au contraire there is a carrot. Dear Uchihas! Enough reading half-faded inscriptions on ancient stones and abstruse scrolls. Take a break from your overwhelming emotions and pay attention to the person who, each for their own reason, is making a snowman with you. If you are making a snowman with an Uchiha: You better not make one with Itachi unless you are Sasuke. However, you can try to explain to Itachi that he doesn’t have to take full responsibility for saving the snowman, offer to share the pain and hopelessness, and let him consider other options. Remind him, that the person next to him is not a threat but a support in making and maintaining a snowman. You better not make a snowman with Sasuke unless you are Naruto. Either way, be prepared to share the load of his hatred, duly reminding him that you're happy to have met him and just as happy to make a snowman with him. And that you will never turn down the opportunity to continue to make it. Shout his name out loud more often. Get ready to have your ass kicked, too. If you are Naruto, then next time you will have to make a snowman with one hand. If you are making a snowman with Madara, be sure to devote a lot of attention to him, not failing to mention how good he is as often as possible. You shouldn’t babble away about the snowman with random bystanders instead of talking to Madara. Don’t forget to mention how skillful Madara is at making the snowman, and how wonderful the future, where this snowman is finally made with Madara’s help, will be. Tell Obito that you too live in this hell of an imperfect world. Making a snowman together will warm up your face back again, and a carrot is not the most crucial thing for a real snowman. You can try to warm up Obito's cheek with your hand or with your breath. Admire his unwavering beliefs on making snowmen. Tell him that whenever you teach others how to make snowmen, you are surely trying to convey his method in particular. Show him people who follow this method and what incredible snowmen they make. Please remember that the Uchihas are really sensitive! Even when they do understand and trust your motivation. Sasuke will always try to take revenge. Itachi will do his best to keep everything bottled up inside and make decisions for you. Madara won’t be able to help not hitting the snowman (or you for that matter) all of a sudden with a stick. Obito will long for someone else fulfilling his dreams of making the snowman in real life. Senju, Hatake and Uzumaki, if you do love an Uchiha, then all you need is just telling them about your love in a right way. Just remember, that Itachi struggles with his life choices, Sasuke suffers emotionally, Madara is desperate, and Obito is prone to existential dread. All the Uchihas are overwhelmed with their love to the point of suffering and losing it makes them kill. Because once upon a time they were robbed of hope that things can be different. Will you help them take your hand and exit Izanami?