Gray

When Zorm woke up and found himself chained up, he was furious. No one could help him quickly — no one had a magnetic key at hand. He kept yelling at me, blathering on and on, demanding that I get my scrawny ass over right away so he could skin me. I didn’t think to move until Brem came for me. Only then did I get up and go downstairs. Everyone was watching our fight, which was nothing but a mass of mutual complaints. Zorm claimed that I was a useless idler, and I replied that he had nearly drowned me, but who remembers evil? He started the handcuffing games first, I just did the same. ‘You got this mess by disrespecting your comrade.’ I said. My words literally made Zorm’s jaw drop. He shut up briefly, glaring angrily. Words about Respect, especially in the mouth of a useless omega, especially in mine, caused Zorm to go into a fit of impotent rage. ‘When I get my hands on you.’ He hissed, spitting saliva, and yanked his hand free again. ‘I’ll wring your neck and disembowel you.’ ‘Then you’ll have to answer to Dieter.’ I said, keeping cool. I put my healthy hand on top of the injured one, half relaxed, as if I were sure of what I was saying and unimpressed by Zorm’s threats. In fact, my nerves were taut as strings; one false move and they threatened to burst, showing everyone what a coward and a lowlife I was. I didn’t look at Dieter, who was watching the scene with the others. I had in mind the unwritten law when I threw my insolent answer to Zorm: you cannot kill a member of your own gang unless he has plotted treachery against their own. It was the leader, or others, with his sole permission, who punished the offender. The penalty for breaking the law was death. Everyone stared at Dieter, except me, who still didn’t have the courage to do so. But Zorm wasn’t a timid guy, and he had no patience. ‘And you’re going to let him get away with it? ’ ‘The worm is right.’ Dieter answered after a long pause. ‘We don’t kill our own.’ My heart thumped in my chest with relief — it seemed the laws still existed. ‘Our own?! ’ Zorm was furious. ‘Who the hell is he? He’s a rat from the street. He can’t go to a fight, he can’t keep order. Why should we feed an extra mouth? And he talks about respect. You heard Zereb yesterday.’ The alpha said, his voice booming with indignation. ‘He was out and about, and he could have led others to our hideout. Who knows, maybe he’s been leaking information to the Tyrates, and they’ll be coming for our souls soon.’ ‘I went to get something to eat.’ I didn’t listen to the rest of the story, because it looked like I’d have to explain myself, but not to Zorm. Gathering my resolve, I looked at Dieter and spoke: ‘I ate for the last time on the night of your release. And yesterday I was starving. There’s no food here, and I got the food myself.’ I turned around and continued talking to Zorm. ‘And yes, I’m not going to the fight. Not even when my arm’s healed. And I didn’t sign up for a janitor. Who shits cleans the way.’ ‘You little scab! ’ Zorm shook his head. He seemed to have got a little control of himself. His calmness didn’t promise me anything good, though, no matter how I looked at it. ‘If you’re not going to do anything.’ Dieter said calmly, forcing me to turn around again. ‘You’re ballast. Zorm is right, we’re not going to feed you for nothing. You’d better get out.’ Zorm grinned victoriously, not even caring about the bracelet on his arm. ‘I earned this place in exchange for your freedom.’ My insides clenched, and I prayed my voice didn’t waver. ‘Isn’t that a sufficient contribution to the common cause? ’ Dieter didn’t answer, and Zorm was silent. Everything was boiling inside. Why didn’t Dieter ask me about my skills? He was interested in dumbasses who would be shot in the first alleyway, but he didn’t even question what it had cost me to get him out of Allgate. I suppressed useless emotion and frowned, counting to five. Then I said, looking down at the floor: ‘I’m good with tech. Zereb, I think, appreciated the program when he brought us here.’ There was no response, as expected, and I had no choice but to continue blindly: ‘I can disable cctvs, operate safety and security systems, open arsenal locks at gun stores. Open magnetic bracelets without a key.’ I nodded at Zorm’s chain, and he shuffled off impatiently, while I continued listing the things I could do to be useful — it seemed there was no other way to stay in the gang. Finally I finished, annoyed and angry. I couldn’t look up out of frustration. Everyone held their breath waiting to see what Dieter would decide. ‘So you’ll be in business.’ The alpha finally said without any enthusiasm. ‘Settled. Zorm, any complaints? ’ ‘Plenty! ’ he bellowed, but his fervor seemed to have run out. Either the reminder of Dieter’s rescue had an effect, or he had realized that I could be of some use to him. ‘I’m sure of it. But Worm stays.’ Dieter said, in effect telling Zorm to stop bothering him. ‘And find someone for the kitchen.’ The conversation dried up; Dieter turned around and headed for the exit, followed by the others. I had no choice but to walk over to Zorm and open the handcuff. I could have simply thrown him the key, but I knew that would make him realize how cowardly I was. As soon as the alpha’s hand was free, he grabbed my aching shoulder and squeezed, pinning me in place. ‘I’m watching you.’ He said quietly, leaning in and looking directly into my eyes. *** Dieter and his guys continued to smash through the neighborhoods of the industrial zone, expanding their holdings. The crowd of ours had increased slightly. In our hangar were those who had always lived with the brothers, having lost their homes. So, after a week, we got a second omega. His name was Will and he was brought in by Zorm. I was sitting on the floor of the common room, next to the couch, tinkering with the old generator they brought in yesterday. It didn’t work, though it gave signs of life when wound up. Ipromised I’d take care of it, and now I was rummaging through the machine, marking with a pencil on a piece of paper what parts were needed. The couch was occupied by Greton and the alpha of the Black Dogs, who settled here permanently. Narp, I think. I heard Zorm’s voice from a distance, remembering the hard way that the alpha never touched me again, but I could feel his caustic glare as soon as I showed my back. He appeared in the wide doorway not alone, but accompanied by a boy I hadn’t seen around before. It was easy to determine that the guest was an omega — his modest height and build left no doubt. He was blond, with a cascading haircut, slender but round-cheeked, with make up on. I think he was in his early twenties. ‘Come in, don’t be shy.’ Zorm nudged him. The omega was obviously nervous, but when he saw me, and easily realized that I was an omega, he straightened up, trying to be more confident. ‘This is our common room.’ The alpha circled the space with his hand. ‘Here’s the kitchen. As you can see, we’re sorely in need of a caring hand. You’ll clean and cook. You can sleep upstairs. Up is the third floor.’ Omega nodded, and then he was introduced to the occupants of the couch. Will, as Zorm introduced the newcomer, had already turned to me, but he was dragged into the kitchen and got down to business. I’d spent all day at the infernal machine, and now I was scribbling on every line of the sheet, wondering where Zorm could get such a piece of junk, how much it would cost to fix it, and how long it would take. While I was working, the guys wandered back and forth. They showed up, smoked, ate the ’dry food’ we got two days after my run-in with Zorm, read magazines, cleaned guns, napped on the second level, and went off somewhere. Will didn’t get out of the kitchen the whole time. Behind the wall, objects were being moved; pans were rattling, scraping and chalking. Washing… Yesterday, Dieter’s handyman tapped into the common water running system. It took me half a day to cover up the pressure drop and ‘leak’ around our barn area for main computers, so we wouldn’t be registered. The connection hub that relayed the data was under the ceiling of an underground sewer box. When I finally finished and climbed down the extension ladder, my hands were shaking. My shoulder was aching mercilessly, but the important thing was that I had downloaded the right code, and now no one would know what was wrong, even if they discovered by some miracle that the water supply was less than it should be. We also decided to install a cistern. The water will flow into it even when the taps are closed, so that in case of need to provide the necessary pressure. Right now the water was running in a thin trickle, but it was better than nothing. And Will seemed to appreciate that. Nothing special, in a couple of weeks everything will be fine. ‘Hey.’ I was distracted from the engine, finding omega two steps away from me. ‘Hi.’ he said cheerfully, and I suddenly realized that there was no one around except us. ‘Hi.’ I mumbled, and stared at the iron. ‘What’s your name? ’ ‘Rain.’ ‘Will. You live here permanently too? ’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘And how is it here? Okay? ’ I shrugged, not knowing what to say. ‘I’m from the Night Owl gang.‘ This gang was dealt with yesterday, I noted, and examined the gearbox. ‘There was okay there either. I also looked after the household. Well, you’ve got shit here, of course.’ Will shook his head, distracted. ‘Yes, I’ll figure it out, don’t worry. What gang are you from? ’ ‘None of them. I mean this one.’ ‘So you’ve been with the Death Mark since the beginning? ’ I didn’t want to explain, so I shrugged again, letting him think what he wanted. That didn’t bother Will. He walked around to the other side of me and squatted down. ‘Are there any other omegas? ’ ‘Nah.’ ‘Uh-oh.’ He stretched out vaguely and fell silent for a moment. ‘Okay. So you’re here on a hardwear? ’ ‘You could say that.’ ‘Then I won’t ask you to help in the kitchen.’ Was the first good idea the new recruit offered. There was a noise, and Will, saying we’d talk later, disappeared into the kitchen. I didn’t really want to talk, but I guess I didn’t have much choice. The day went on. When the room was crowded and the tables were moving, I left the generator alone, standing up on stiff legs and crunching my neck. There was a twinkle in my eye. The bustle had picked up. Everyone was talking about how clean the place was and how it smelled from the kitchen. I appreciated the order immediately, and as soon as I stepped out of the corner, I smelled the odor of edibles. It looked like omega was getting serious. Crates had been brought in to replace the missing chairs, and plastic bowls had been distributed. The utensils were piled on the table, but there were few people willing to use them. There was bread, soup, sliced onion heads, even fish — spelded and dried. And the main treat that made my mouth water was fried wings. Decent amount, but hardly enough for everyone. As soon as the meat was on the table, everyone froze in anticipation: Dieter was going to start the dinner. To get in front of the leader was considered an insult. I squeezed myself between the two alphas and clung to the tabletop, showing that I wouldn’t be pushed back. Dieter walked in. His hair was wet — he’d been after shower. After glancing at the heads on top, he approached the table, walked around it in a circle, and stood next to a bowl of wings. ‘Who should I praise? ’ He asked, and we were confused for a moment. ‘Will.’ Zorm answered in a satisfied voice. Omega stepped uncertainly out of the kitchen. ‘Come here.’ Will stopped next to Dieter, and I could see how desperately embarrassed he was-yes, Dieter was making an impression. ‘Good job.’ The alpha nodded approvingly. He took two wings, gave him one, stuffed the other in his mouth, and focused his attention on the food. ‘Come on! ’ The command was given, and I didn’t hesitate, choking on hungry saliva. I ripped out a wing, grabbed a piece of bread. Threw it all in a bowl and flew over to the soup pot. It was more difficult here, but still I managed to scoop from the bottom. Lucky me — gush! Yesterday was bread, tomato paste and chips. I was sick of chips. My stomach was grumbling inside, probably struggling to remember what to do with a proper meal. Will was taking the praise this evening and, seemingly flattered by the attention, promised that tomorrow would be better and bigger. Sacks of potatoes and onions had been brought in earlier in the week. Beet-root, zucchini, carrots, cucumbers and pumpkins — there was already plenty of food, and it kept coming. It looked like hunger would soon be over. Can’t wait. The hearty meal put me in a better mood as I headed upstairs. It was late, I was tired, and I couldn’t wait to fall asleep. Tomorrow was going to be the second fight with the generator. I wonder who will survive at the end? With long-range thinking, I figured one wouldn’t be enough. We’d have to power the pump when we hooked up the cistern. And if we organize common showers and lights instead of flashlights and candles… ‘Where to fall? ’ Omega coming out of nowhere was a little scary. I already lay down and covered my eyes. ‘Wherever you want.’ I answered lazily. Will walked deeper into the room, picking a spot. There was plenty of room, but he decided to drag a spare mattress closer to me. ‘You guys seem nice.’ ‘Uh-huh.’ ‘It’ll be great if it turns out that way.’ I wanted to sleep, but I kept thinking about the generator. ‘And Dieter is so cool. Our alpha, Strerd, was pretty cool too, may he rest in peace.’ The omega added with misplaced piety. ‘But he was no match for Dieter. I’ve heard so much about Pryde. He’s a legend! I never thought I’d see him with my own eyes. I thought Dieter was long gone. And now he’s here, eating my wings. Can you believe it? ’ Omega moved closer to me as he continued to gibber: ‘I was born the year the Tyrates caught Dieter and roughed up the gang. The Mark of Death was the scarecrow of my older brothers. They said there was a time when one countless gang ran the city, and not just ran it, but held the city in their hands, spitting on the authorities. No one was afraid of Tyraty back then.’ The omega chirped excitedly. ‘It’s unbelievable! Hard to imagine. But I’m interested in something else. Back then they said that under Dieter’s rule, even though he was a bustard, everyone lived peacefully and well. No lawlessness. You could go out wherever you wanted, whenever you wanted. Not everywhere, of course.’ Will corrected himself. ‘But if you stayed within the gang’s territory and respected the local laws, there were no complaints. And they worked and lived. It’s hard to believe… Do you think that’s ever happened? ’ I didn’t say a word, listening to the impressionable omega’s rant. ‘Hey, Rain, are you asleep? The kid sighed disappointedly and returned to his bed, still managed to make me forget about the essentials. Before Dieter’s capture, the world I’d known, enclosed within the borders of Greystadt with its two million inhabitants, was quite different. Even though we lived on the edge of the asshole of the universe, where the sun rarely looked, it was quite bearable. At least I didn’t know what kind of nasty life lay ahead of us all if one single person was removed. At first I thought I was making it all up. I was a kid, and when I was a kid, everything seemed brighter than it really was. I went to school in the middle of the neighborhood. Clouds Village was between the city and the suburbs. Tiny houses, built under a governmental program and community council support, were inhabited by families on a tight budget. Families like mine. My father worked from morning till night in a shoe factory, my dad worked in a diner as a waiter. He made the menu in the evenings, and the owner, not much richer than we were, who lived six houses south, eventually began to trust dad with the bookkeeping. The salary went up a bit, and we celebrated. Noisy, with cake. I was about four years old. The happy memory has faded and withered. One day, it will evaporate, I thought, and let myself dive deeper into the past. ‘Study hard, Rain.’ Both of my parents admonished me, sending me to elementary school as soon as I turned five. And I studied, seeing them work hard. But it didn’t make me sad. Growing up, I realized that my parents were never discouraged, believing in hard work and looking forward to the future. And I saw the life through their eyes. In Clouds I made friends. Three other kids my age lived near us, and often our dads would conspire and leave us together. We took turns playing in one house or the other. Life seemed joyful and carefree. One of the boys went to the same class as me. We became friends, as thick as thieves. We were always together — at school during the day and at home in the evenings. We played consoles, watched cartoons, ran around the yard, trampling flowers. And even stood in the corner together punished for it. It’s weird to think back on it. It seemed like a simple miserable life, almost in poverty, now it seemed like a family idyll, which is only to be seen on the screen. I was nine when that life came to an end. I remember the day I came home from school alone, with a grudge against a friend who’d gone home after class by himself. It was quiet inside. I walked into the living room and found dad nestled against the visor. He was preoccupied, focusing his gaze in front of him and not even turning around to greet me. I went upstairs to my room, shook the handball against the wall, and went back downstairs. Dad was sitting where he was before, still watching the news. I was so annoyed that no one was paying attention to me that I gave up on my intention to get something to eat — let dad be ashamed that I stayed hungry — and went upstairs. No one ever came by to see me that night. And the next day, at school, everyone was discussing the news: Dieter Pryde, the head of the famous Death Mark gang, had been taken into custody. I didn’t understand what the grown-ups were fussing about. Things didn’t change the next day. But as I was getting older, the world was going downhill faster and faster, and I finally realized when it all started. And why. My age had nothing to do with it. Dieter was a hardened criminal. By the time he was twenty-seven he had already become dictator for Greystadt and was far better than those who had taken power from him and turned our life — my life — into a bottomless gray abyss. Until now, peeking at Dieter surreptitiously, I couldn’t believe that the existence of so many of us could depend on just one. One. To say I was in awe of the alpha was to say nothing. I idolized Dieter Pryde. And I hated that someone like him was impressed by someone’s pathetic cooking. When I handed him a list for generator repair at dinner, he just nodded, not even glancing in my direction.