Fangirl

I’m used to being around him. To feel light scent of his skin, to feel his warmth. I didn’t need to touch him: firebenders could sense the inner fire inherent in any creature if they were sensitive enough. I wished I could see him when he found a rose of a rare variety. It was hard to find, but I managed to get a wonderful specimen. I’m sure he would love it. Phillip liked flowers — it was easy to notice. When spring came, he often strolled through the academy’s park and stayed there the longer, the more flowerbeds bloomed. Sometimes, thinking that no one could see him, he would lean over to a blossom and inhale the fragrance, smiling. He always studied for exams outdoors. He occupied a table under the shade of beeches, not far from the rose bushes, and spent hours on end there in the company of his friends. They were always fidgeting, complaining about the insects and the heat. When Phillip got tired, he simply closed his eyes, put his folded arms and head down on the table and lay still for a while. Remembering the colorful summer pictures adorned with the splendor of Phillip’s presence, I returned to my room. There was a small case on my desk. I flushed scarlet. These were the kind of cases presented on All Soumate Day. Simple boxes covered in red velvet. A slight nervous excitement ran up my spine and touched my neck. I stepped closer and gingerly took the thing in my hands. Inside was a bracelet that resembled a thin strap of blue and purple, the color of airbenders. On the back of the strap was a capital letter F. I sat down on the bed, closed my eyes, and inhaled, counting slowly to five. Then I opened my eyes again and checked to see if I had imagined the miracle. The bracelet was still in my hand… Bracelets like this were considered a confession. The color always corresponded to the giver’s element, and the inscriptions on the back could be varied. I placed the bracelet across my left arm — above the black rose — and clasped it around my wrist. I realized that there was no more precious thing to me from now on. How could I ever hope that Phillip would pay attention to someone like me? Was it possible for anyone in his right mind to get close to me after that conversation in a gazebo where only the insane would think I wasn’t crazy? Yes, I was aware of how I looked from the side, but I decided not to hide my feelings from Phillip, for I believed that no matter how I behaved in front of him, I wouldn’t look any better. So why to hide the only beautiful thing that lived in me thanks to this guy? And yet he’d given me that bracelet. I touched his confession with the tips of my fingers once more. It was velvety soft — just like Phillip himself. *** The next day all the talk was about the event. Most boasted of confessions they had received, but only those that were accepted were worn. There were the unfortunate ones whose feelings had been rejected. 'Marta…' Lana intercepted me by the arm as I headed for my table. The girls gathered in the front desk, before Spellcraft class, and were whispering animatedly. '…whose bracelet is that? ' She didn’t look hostile, more surprised. I turned to the girls, but there was nothing to say. They were staring at my arm in silence. 'Did you buy it yourself? ' Irene asked and shifted her gaze to Helen. The first beauty froze, but, unlike her friends, her look didn’t bode well for me. She got up from the edge of the desk and came closer. Her arms were folded across her chest, and she made no attempt to touch me. A brown leather bracelet was clearly visible on her wrist — she must have accepted the earthbender’s confession. 'Who is the lucky one? ' she asked mockingly, but I could detect a palpable tension in her voice. I still had nothing to say. 'I hope it’s me, ' heard I from the door, and everyone turned around. Phillip walked into the classroom with his friends. He came closer, stopping at my left hand, sliding his gaze over my wrist. 'No way, ' Svetlana commented on what was going through everyone’s mind, including mine. The rest of the group surrounded us with attention. 'Hi, ' Philip turned to me. 'Shall we go? ' He nodded ahead, and I walked forward to my seat. There was dead silence in the classroom — everyone was watching us in bewilderment. 'I parsed the spell we’d talked about yesterday, and I didn’t quite get it…' Phillip chose the most logical line of behavior: he talked about a routine tadk as nothing happened. I played along leaning over the book, and we began to discuss. At first there was a whisper of indistinct echoes: is it true? is this some kind of joke? have they decided to play a trick on us? haven’t they been seen together in the library? is that why they’re sitting together at Potions? Max, is Phillip joking? Then they discussed it louder and openly, except they weren’t pointing their fingers at us like we were some circus animals. I could see that Phillip was making an effort to be as natural as possible. I was prepared for anything. Sure, his status as everyone’s sweetheart and prince would have to go, but I wouldn’t try to build walls between us anymore. I’d already tried to hint that talking to me was unwise and would be to his detriment, but if he was so determined and dared to show in public that he cared about me, I wouldn’t push him away. If only for a little while — this fairy tale, or whatever it is, is unlikely to last forever — I want to try to find out what it’s like to be reciprocated by your deity. As the lesson began, Phillip returned to his seat. Konstantin Vasilyevich made three warnings, trying to call the class to order, and then gave up: the news was too hot to put out the fire with requests. *** At the big break I didn’t want to embarrass Phillip and went to the dining hall first. I took my usual seat, showing that, despite his confession, I wasn’t going to abash him. I watched furtively as the guys made their usual way from the serving tables to their seats. Phillip, finished with his routine, headed toward me. 'Do you mind having lunch with us? ' he suggested, stepping next to me. I looked into his face trying to catch echoes of his thoughts and emotions. He was clearly agitated, but he was trying to hide it. I paused for a few moments, then nodded rising, and followed Phillip. There was no doubt that the eyes of the others, at least those with whom we studied, were following me. However, the circle of Phillip’s admirers was much wider. I knew for a fact that among the younger students he got a lot of amorous looks, and there were sighs from the older study year as well. No matter how one looked at him, Phillip was attracting attention. Mine, frozen on him at first glance. A fifth chair had already been pulled up to the table. 'Hi, ' I said quietly, looking around at the guys. I wasn’t afraid of Phillip’s friends. If he chose his own social circle, I must try to find common language with each of them. The boys said hello at random, looking at me curiously, as if we hadn’t studied together all these years, and they were seeing me for the first time. 'Be honest, Martha, ' Kirill addressed me first, 'is it magic? ' Phillip rolled his eyes. 'Yes, ' I answered, unabashedly. 'It’s magic that he wants to be friends with me.' Kirill raised an eyebrow. 'How long have you two been dating? ' asked Max. 'I’m sorry, Martha, but you’re a complete surprise to us. And since he doesn’t say anything, maybe you can tell something? ' 'What can I tell? ' I turned to Phillip with a question. At first there was silence, and then: 'Wow! She needs your permission? ' Gregory was taken aback. 'Come on! ' Kirill spread an understanding smile across the face. 'That souded intimate! ' Max looked a little dazed. 'You’ve got it all wrong! ' Phillip was indignant. My question must have been misinterpreted. But I didn’t understand in what way. I didn’t know what I could share and what I couldn’t, and I wasn’t going to tell the guys anything inappropriate, so I thought it was only natural to ask Phillip. 'We’ve been dating' Philip took it upon himself to calm his friends down, '…since yesterday.' He gave me an expectant look; we hadn’t discussed it, but I wasn’t going to argue. 'Before that, we’d just been talking.' 'Why does she ask for your permission? ' Gregory asked. For the first time as far as I could remember he didn’t pounce on food at once being engaged by something else. 'Martha, tell us' Kirill didn’t wait for Phillip’s answer, apparently not expecting one. Instead, squirming with excitement, he turned to me: '…did he come to you first to talk or you did? I shifted my gaze to Phillip, who froze. 'It was Phillip who had started the conversation.' A new roar from the boys shook the table. Gregory punched his friend in the shoulder encouragingly, the others cheered, embarrassing Phillip to no end. I watched the guy — my boyfriend — intently, trying to see if he was satisfied with my answer. It seemed to be going well. At the back of my mind I noted how quiet it was at the neighboring tables — obviously everyone was listening. 'Are you serious? ' Maxim asked. 'Yes, ' Phillip answered, looking directly at his friend. I didn’t hear any doubt in his voice. 'Well, ' said Max, after they’d been staring at each other for a minute, '…then congratulations.' He smiled and relaxed a little: he must have believed Phillip. It wasn’t surprising. I believed it too. Phillip seemed so sincere. I decided to trust him and let it go. As long as Phillip needed me, he had me. Lunch went well. We ate little, talked a lot. I only occasionally answered direct questions, leaving Phillip to speak for both of us. I was still in the haze of a fairy tale that was blossoming before me in bright flashes of wonder when a stranger’s hand clapped Phillip on the shoulder — on my side — and stayed there. 'Hello, handsome!’ That hand, large, wiry, belonged to a guy. He looked at Phillip, leaning over the latter’s back, and then glanced at me. The guy looked a little older than we were. He was tall, physically developed, but not huge like Gregory — he wasn’t an earthbender. He was a firebender. That was hinted at by his dark eyes and black tarry eyelashes. The same eyebrows, and short hair cut, above his ears. But I didn’t need the secondary features — his fire I could smell a mile away. His fire was caustic and greedy, and that greed demanded Phillip. Phillip jerked his shoulder dropping guy’s hand. 'I heard you got a girlfriend, ' he said smiling mockingly and nodding toward me. His appraising gaze was quick and slippery: no interest in me. 'But I didn’t believe it.' He smiled squinting slightly. 'You should have,' Philip said grudgingly. I could see the white of his knuckles as he clutched the fork in his hand. 'This is Martha, my girlfriend.' 'How lovely, ' he said not looking at me anymore. 'But you don’t think that’s going to help you, do you?' The guy winked. Phillip turned pale with anger, a little more and… 'Maxim, ' I intervened, '…would you be so kind to tell me who this boor is?’ Max blinked a couple of times, looked at the other guys. 'Wow, she’s got teeth,’ said the intruder after an unflattering remark and smilled broadly. 'Nikita, sixth year firebender, ' he added arrogantly. I stood up. 'Martha.' And l held out my hand to him. It was a bit unusual: girls didn’t shake hands with guys. Guys shook hands with each other. Nikita looked at me more closely, sniffed dismissively, but seemed to find the twist amusing, so extended his hand in return. We sealed the handshake. Stared at each other. And I allowed myself to warm the other’s palm a little. But if in Phillip’s case I was carrying warmth, now I was offering something else. The guy understood my maneuver and, grinning even more mockingly, responded alike. The smile didn’t last long. First his pupils dilated a little. Then he leaned forward, staring hard, trying to quell my fire, which wasn’t inferior to his. It didn’t work. Then he squeezed my hand so tightly that it hurt, demonstrating his masculine strength. And I let him. My bones in his hand crunched. Everyone at the table heard it. Nikita flinched not expecting it. And only then he realized that he was the only one distracted. I continued to stare into his eyes, without blinking once. 'What…' Phillip came to his senses and wanted to intervene, but Maxim wouldn’t let him. Phillip froze in confusion not understanding what was happening. He looked at his friend questioningly, but Maxim didn’t break the silence. Just a little longer and he would come between us after all. Nikita broke the handshake earlier. 'Okay, handsome, ' he shifted his gaze to Phillip, hid his hand in his pocket, and as if he’d forgotten all about me at once. 'If you’re hoping a girlfriend will save you, forget it.' He winked meaningfully again, regaining his impenetrable look, and moved on. 'What was that? ' Kirill asked in confusion. 'Are you all right? ' Phillip looked at me with barely concealed worry — I felt pleased. 'Perfectly fine, ' I smiled back, and reached across the table for the bread. My palm — the same palm I’d shaken Nikita’s hand with —froze on top of the plate. I looked at Gregory — the plate was standing next to him. He discreetly placed his hand on top of mine. There was a click. 'Thank you.' 'Anytime'. 'What’s going on? ' Phillip was getting more and more agitated. 'Did he break your…' He hesitated turning white, a feverish blush flaring on his cheekbones. A veil of rage enveloped his eyes. Phillip just realized what Gregory had done, as Kirill and Maxim had realized earlier. One of the simplest skills of earth benders was bone healing. They sometimes became healers, because many of them, even at an early age, mastered this art in the skirmishes of unrestrained youth. 'I will…' Phillip wanted to get up and rush after Nikita, as far as I could tell. 'Hey, ' Maxim clapped his friend on the back hard enough to get his attention, leaned closer to him, and asked quietly, 'Didn’t you see Marta burn him to ashes?’ Turned to me and asked more quietly: 'I’m right, am I? Did you take him down?’ I smiled slightly, but decided not to answer. 'Who is he?’ 'You already know his name, but otherwise, I’m sorry, Martha, he’s so sweety cute, ' Kirill nodded toward Phillip, 'that it’s not only girls who hang on him.' 'Shut up, ' Phillip hissed blushing. He had come to his senses a little, realized that the moment of reprisal was lost, though he was still angry. 'It’s true, ' confirmed Gregory. 'A month ago, the physical training teacher couldn’t be present, ' Maxim explained before the boys clashed, '…so he put this sixth-year student as a substitute. He’s been hitting on Phillip ever since. Explanations don’t work on him. He’s not afraid of us either.' Gregory grumbled annoyingly — it looked like he’d already lost to this senior and wasn’t particularly happy about it. I wondered. Of course, Phillip would never talk to me about anything like that. The girls' and boys' physical training classes were separate, so I didn’t know. 'Martha, are you sure you’re all right? ' Phillip looked upset. 'Never better.' Phillip didn’t look convinced by my words, so I decided to add, 'The academy’s most amazing guy is mine.' Phillip opened his mouth and hovered. A couple of more moments of silence and…. 'Ditch him, date me, ' Kirill hit himself in the chest playfully. 'How did you realize she is like that? ' Maxim scrutinised me closely. There was no unpleasant undertone in his words, but rather amazement. 'Cool girl… I mean a young lady, ' Gregory corrected himself hastily when his friend threw him a warning glance. 'Now I congratulate you, too.' The giant wheezed and began to stuff his mouth with cabbage pie.