AE3803 and 33 misfortunes

U-1146 was sweating over AE3803, holding her up in the air. “Red-chan, are you sure it doesn’t hurt?” he asked her with tension in his voice. “I’m alright, Leukocyte-kun,” she replied, pressing herself even closer to him. “Okay. Put your leg on me, it’ll be more comfortable this way.” As an answer, AE clung to his lower back and lifted her leg on his shoulder. In reality, each of his movements caused her pain, but she endured it without saying a word, not wanting to make him sad. “Hold on just a bit longer, I’ve almost finished.” “Oh, Leukocyte-kun!” she moaned. “Now… almost…” “Uh-huh…” Tears were running down AE’s cheeks. “More to the left! To the left! No, better to the right!” their friend U-4989 cheered them on. “Oh no, what’re you doing? You’ll rip her foot off!” “Let him concentrate,” U-2048 interrupted him. “Otherwise, he’ll never finish.” “Come on, put that thing in there,” U-4989 continued. “Give it your all!” “I’m trying!” U-1146 clenched his teeth from all the strain. “Should I help you, maybe? Together we’ll get it done quickly!” U-4989 suggested. “Better hold on to the rope!” U-2048 spat at him. “How are you getting along?” he yelled to U-1146. “Almost…” U-1146 did one last effort, and AE, who was clinging on to him, flinched and fell silent. Suddenly, the two of them started spinning, now hanging directly over the abyss of the open wound by the rope the other neutrophils were holding. Or, more precisely: AE was dangling upside down, holding on to U-1146. It was really difficult to imagine how exactly she had managed to fall into that hole and get her foot caught on some protruding, shattered piece of the wall, to the point that it got stuck like in a tight trap, so that she ended up hanging on one leg. This was the position U-1146 and his friends had found her in. And so, he proceeded to try to carefully free our poor, suffering Miss Red Blood Cell, whose ankle was already swollen, without falling together with her into the wound in the process. The platelets had been already in the middle of closing the hole, but the wound was rough-edged and needed complicated repairing, which required a more thorough preparation and a lot of time. And exactly the latter was what they were lacking. The literal "straw" AE was hanging on, had begun to mercilessly bend, threatening to break off and fall together with the unlucky cell right into the center of the wound. U-1146 had descended on a rope to where she was and tried to take off her shoe and get her foot out, but it was hopelessly stuck between the tissue's fragments. So hopelessly and tightly, it was even hard to believe. With all the strength he had, U-1146 was holding AE to prevent her from falling, while some fragments had begun to cut into her foot under her weight, threatening to tear it off. The neutrophil cut them with his knife and even applied his teeth, but they were like steel and didn't budge in the slightest. So when he finally succeeded, they both let out a sigh of relief and started climbing out, holding on to the slightly swinging rope and being pulled up by their friends. Then they collapsed on the floor next to the wound. AE clumsily got off U-1146's body and tried to stand up, but fell back into a sitting position, holding her injured foot. "Bring the first-aid kit," U-2048 ordered, slamming his elbow into U-4989's side. "Why me?" complained the latter, but seeing the uncompromising expression on his friend's face, he quickly gave in. "Alright, alright..." While U-1146 was bandaging AE's foot, he was wondering how she constantly managed to get into trouble. Worried platelets were bustling about and gathering around AE. They asked her angrily: "Big Sis Red Blood Cell, didn't you see the warning sign?" "Oh, I'm sorry," she replied, waving her arms. "I just wanted to go around the wound... uhm... and as it seems, I took a wrong turn." "That happens to her with an almost enviable frequency," remarked her senpai, who had arrived running. AE had made her worry. Again. Everyone was glad that AE3803 was safe now, however, U-4989 suddenly noticed something and asked pensively: "It's a little too quiet here, don't you think?" "Yes, usually a huge bunch of germs would have entered such a wound by now," U-1146 agreed. "But still no reaction from my receptor." "And no one to be seen, either," U-2048 added. "Strange." "Ehem." Someone cleared their throat behind them. "Well, actually, we already arrived here quite some time ago. And we expected a warmer welcome!" A quite decent-looking gentleman appeared before the neutrophils' eyes. Well, as decent as a bacterium could manage to look. His noble manners were really confusing, and only as he came closer, an alarming beeping began to sound above the leukocytes' heads. Which didn't seem to concern the intruder in the slightest. Having arranged his suit and straightened his dandyish mustache, he continued:  "I very much hope for a good cooperation. For us, of course. Not for you, as that would be rather unpleasant." He showed an evil grin. Some similar looking germs emerged behind his back and began to advance unhurriedly towards the neutrophils. "I'll phagocytize you, just you wait!" announced U-4989 optimistically. "No, stop," warned him U-1146. "They may be too dangerous." "Whatever, tell us who you are, will you?" asked U-2048 directly, without actually expecting an honest answer. "Oh, haven't I introduced myself?" The germ widened his eyes in surprise. "Now, where are my manners?", he exclaimed, pretending to be embarrassed and grasping his cheeks. "Very well, then allow me to answer your question: I am Clostridium tetani in person. Oh no, no need for applause," he added, taking his bowler hat off. "Honorable descendant of the Clostridium Dynasty." "Clostridium tetani?" repeated U-2048 in a distrustful tone. "I have a bad feeling about this", murmured U-4989, and U-1146 completely agreed with him. If that suspicious guy was telling the truth, they would get in very deep trouble soon... * * * And while the immune cells were battling the terrible tetanus germs, AE3803 had to leave to get her foot treated and then return to work, which was awaiting her. Her senpai assigned her to the reception of the carbon dioxide packages, so she could give her foot a rest, sincerely hoping to keep her from any kind of trouble that way. But AE was really worried about Leukocyte-kun and his friends, as that "honorable descendant" of the Clostridia was quite good at fighting. His toxins were lethal and could cause horrible spasms. Despite being far away, she had the impression of still being able to hear the noise from the battlefield. AE was so deep in thought that she noted down the delivery in the wrong spot, corrected it, then accidentally misplaced a package, dropped a couple of them and, to top it off, confused some carbon dioxide tanks with oxygen ones... "Senpai," NT called out to her. "Just let me handle everything and go rest a bit." "Alright," AE said, and headed off to find a place to lay down. * * * After everything had settled down, the immune cells remained highly on alert. A lot had their nerves so much on edge that sacrifices couldn't be avoided. Especially concerning the B Lymphocyte, who had been walking around with his loaded antibody gun and pulling the trigger with reason and without. Together with the side effects from the antibiotics (that had been necessary, as tetanus was a really dangerous bacillus), it had caused an allergy. This time it was the kohai NT who had the honor to deliver the pill with the steroid. As soon as she arrived rolling the object, the senpai and AE hastily dragged her away and took cover. After having learned the hard way during their last encounter with the steroid terminator, that was a very wise decision, indeed. The kohai, who didn't understand what the matter was first, was just staring, baffled, at the horror that was taking place out there from their shelter and started to hiccup from the shock. After everything was over, the senpai let out a sigh of relief. "Whew! Seems like we can breathe again." The three of them crawled out of their shelter and hurried back to work. And, as luck would have it or rather not, AE was assigned to deliver oxygen to the Mast Cell. In the meantime, there was a real drama going on in the Mast Cell's laboratory: one of the terminator's missiles had landed there, and the Mast Cell herself, having just barely survived it, was now longing for revenge. And the only thing occurring to her was to unleash her fury on the B Lymphocyte, who was to blame for everything in her opinion. She was chasing after him, wanting to smash his head with something as heavy as possible. Eosinophil, who was there as well, was clinging to her arm, trying to bring her to her senses, but to no avail. Soon, the Mast Cell grabbed the B Lymphocyte by the collar from behind and pulled him into her direction. It looked as if the three of them were dancing a peculiar version of the polonaise, holding on to each other in a row.  "Am I your scapegoat, or what?" the B Lymphocyte complained. "Why is it always my fault?" "Who was the one spraying everything that moves with his antibodies, well?" "But the germ looked dangerous!" he tried to justify himself. "Can't even tell the difference between allergens and germs, what a great immune cell you are!" the Mast Cell snapped at him, aiming a stool at his nucleus. "Miss Mast Cell, please be reasonable!" Eosinophil shouted. "And don't touch the controller!" "The controller!" the Mast Cell gasped. "I have to release more histamine, the Immunoglobulin E level is skyrocketing again!" "No, don't!" Eosinophil pulled her away from the control panel. "Mister B Lymphocyte overdid it just a little bit. Nothing to worry about. Right?" she asked him with hope. "Well... if you think about it." He scratched his neck. "I may really have exaggerated a little. U-Uh..." he added, remembering to have shot two whole antibody tanks, and then a couple more, and launched some missiles and one or two bombs. Just to be sure... "A-ha!" the Mast Cell shrieked, torn between the control panel and her wish to hit that idiot. "Please, no!" begged Eosinophil. "Aaaah!" The B Lymphocyte yelled, dodging an attack with the table. "Are you nuuuts?!" At that very moment, AE pushed the door open and came in, looking around for a place to leave the package. "Good day! I'm here to deliver your oxy-" But she was interrupted by the table that came flying her way. The B Lymphocyte was already quite used to the Mast Cell's vagaries, after all, but the erythrocyte didn't expect that in the least and also didn't have enough dexterity to avoid the attack. There was silence for a minute. The Mast Cell froze, holding a desk lamp in her hand that she wanted to hit the B Lymphocyte's head with, while Eosinophil was hanging onto her, trying to prevent it. All three of them were staring horrified at Miss Red Blood Cell, who was lying spread out on the floor, buried under the table. "Hey, are you alive?" asked the B Lymphocyte after the Mast Cell had pulled the table from her. "No, Miss Macrophage, I don't wanna eat my oatmeal," was the answer. "Oh no", said Eosinophil. "I think that blow was too much for her." "Maybe she has a nucleus concussion?" The B Lymphocyte scratched his neck. "Red blood cells don't have nuclei", Eosinophil corrected. "Then just a concussion," he said, shrugging. "What a nightmare!" exclaimed AE, sitting up. "I dreamed about flying tables. But why?" "Maybe it's the change of weather," answered the Mast Cell, pretending to be completely innocent. "That must be it!" AE agreed, got her delivery signed and ran off, forgetting to take the carbon dioxide with her. The Mast Cell, the B Lymphocyte and Eosinophil waved her goodbye in silence. They sincerely hoped that her encounter with the table remained without consequences. The B Lymphocyte was the first one to come to himself and quickly made a run for it, before the Mast Cell could start raging again, exclaiming: "I'll go look after her." * * * AE ran cheerfully through the bloodstream, confident that she didn't have to fear any more tables. She rushed into an alley, turned the corner and... suddenly bumped into something big and bouncy. "Hello, sweet lady," said a gentle, endearing voice.  AE lifted her head and saw a huge, unblinking eye, staring right at her.  "Eh?.." The "eye" crawled out of the alley's darkness and continued: "Actually, I prefer little cells, but you look delicious as well." "Y-You...", stammered AE. Though she didn't remember her encounter with a similar monster during her childhood very well, her inner voice whispered to her that she had to run and the faster, the better. "I'm Pseudomonas aeruginosa," that ugly being revealed. "And I'm starving!" And with these words, it lunged at AE. "Aaah!" screamed the erythrocyte. "Aaah!" the bacterium joined her, receiving a missile on its head. The object opened with an ear-deafening pop, and a sizzling substance came out, covering the repugnant germ from head to toe, or whatever it possessed instead of toes. "Ha, eat this!", said the B Lymphocyte, jumping from the roof, like a real hero. "What's this nonsense?", the bacterium complained, trying to shake off the weird stuff. "This cannot harm me", it announced with confidence. "Not even antibiotics can, so this trash certainly won't!" "You really think so?", asked the B Lymphocyte with a grin, and before the germ could attack him, he swung around and raced off, grabbing AE by the arm, shouting: "Don't just sit there! Let's run!" The two of them left the enemy behind and hid in some small cellar. With a cruel chuckle, he said:  "And now, watch closely." They began to observe the scene carefully. Soon, the angry bacterium, longing to find and tear the runaway cells into pieces, was tackled to the ground by a group of neutrophils, together with a quite big monocyte, and thoroughly beat. Then, the leukocytes began to devour it, saying that the taste wasn't even that awful, but too bad they didn't have any ketchup. "And everything thanks to me and my phagocyte-attracting antibodies," bragged the B Lymphocyte, after having abandoned their shelter and met their saviors. "Sure," answered the neutrophils, completely ignoring him. He pouted. "Wow..." said AE. "Are you alright, Red-chan?" U-1146 approached her with his friends. "Yep," she assured, and energetically turned... into the completely wrong direction from the nearest package distribution point. In other words: like always. * * * Mister Basophil was walking around, minding his business, thinking to himself and philosophizing. As it seemed, he had incredibly luck that day, since, being the rarest leukocyte of them all, on average, the ratio of basophils to erythrocytes was one to one hundred thousand. And out of these one hundred thousand, he just had to meet AE3803 of all red blood cells. If you could call this a meeting... AE3803 was hurrying with a package. She arrived at the top floor of a high-rise building, panting, and decided to rest a bit, leaning against a handrail. Which suddenly bent with a screech and collapsed, falling down together with AE and her precious oxygen. The unlucky cell's screams broke off somewhere in the middle of falling, because she got caught on a lamppost together with the rail. After having come to herself, she noticed the beautiful view from the lamppost and saw that the lateral part of the building was off-limits due to being in a state of disrepair. Well, no wonder then that the handrails were coming off! "Big Sis Erythrocyte!" she heard from below. "Not watching your step again, are you?" Under the lamppost, worried platelets were gathering, trying to think how to get her down. "It's not my fault," AE3803 justified herself. "It collapsed on its own-" But she didn't get a chance to finish her sentence. The package she was still holding, dangerously pulled her to the side. It was already difficult for her to keep her balance as it was, and with occupied hands even more. "Big Sis, we'll throw you a rope from the nearest balcony," the platelets promised and hurried off to get their equipment for working at height. Fortunately, the lamppost was located right under a balcony on the fifth floor. The platelets swung their arms and threw the end of a rope in her direction. They missed her a couple of times, but at the third one, AE managed to grab it, completely forgetting that she had to hold on to the package as well... Just right at that moment, the Basophil walked by. He was so absorbed in thought that he failed to notice the falling package. Hearing a weird whistling sound from above, he only managed to open his umbrella out of habit. Which didn't really help him, unfortunately. AE didn't look down, but instead heard a heavy thud and a smack. She quickly fastened the rope around herself and hitched it over the lamppost, before descending to the ground, while the platelets were holding the other end. She hoped to pick up the package, or what was left of it, but instead spotted the following horror: The package had ripped open from the impact and the oxygen tanks rolled off into different directions, but looked undamaged, at least. Much to the contrary of the Basophil's head: it was weirdly deformed from the crash, and he himself lying unconsciously in the middle of his umbrella's broken parts. "Oh..." was everything AE could say, who hadn't expected that her box would hit someone. "How awful!" sobbed the little platelets. The most quick-witted out of them rushed off to get help. Soon, Miss Megakaryocyte arrived together with the emergency brigade, and the Basophil was promptly transported to the nearest hospital. Megakaryocyte ordered the little ones to return to work and asked AE explicitly to keep away from the area. No offense. She even helped her to pick up the package's remains and to deliver the oxygen to the closed off building, everything to get the erythrocyte to leave quickly before she could do any more harm. The platelets had to make up for the lost time, but Megakaryocyte promised that the hardest workers would get sweets as a reward. So it wasn't that bad. * * * AE3803 successfully managed to get lost again. And in addition to that, she was slightly daydreaming, so she turned into the wrong direction and went straight to a restricted facility. "Hey, you're not allowed to enter!" yelled the T-Killer from the guardhouse. "Where are you going? Such an idiot..." "Huh?" AE woke up from her daydream about the best and fastest way to deliver this time's oxygen.  "Don't ya have anything in your head or what?" the lymphocyte asked and eyed her suspiciously. Suddenly, a not very pleasant smile appeared on his face: "Ah, so it's you. Well, well!" AE didn't even get time to answer, before she was approached and tightly surrounded by a group of T cells. The happy Squad Leader came to her and leaned onto her with his broad chest. "I knew it! You're into me!" he exclaimed instead of a greeting. "You come here rather often, so I thought as much." He grabbed her with his huge hands and started openly squeezing her. "Aren't you a cutie? Right, guys?" he asked, turning to his warriors. They laughed in agreement. The T-Killer hugged AE and leaned down to her, his face coming close to hers. "You asked for it yourself," he cooed, licking his lips like a real love hero. "Hey babe, how about my great perforin kiss of death?" "No, please!" AE screamed in fear. Her knees began to tremble, creating something similar to an SOS call in Morse. "Come on, let's have some fun," he teased her, supported by his subordinates. "I'll lyse you properly. A thrill you'll never forget!" He moved forward, and his lips almost touched hers. AE's heart sank into her boots. Feeling her end approach and the squad leader's hot breath, she helplessly went limp in his arms. His strong, lethal arms... "Get your paws off her!" someone shouted behind him. The T-Killer twitched and jumped, as he received a hefty kick in his butt. "What the- ?!" he roared. "So that's what you're doing in your free time, loser!" remarked NK with a sneer on her face. "Driving girls into corners, you hero." "I wasn't doing anything like that..." he began to justify himself, without actually wanting to. But before he could explain that he just had wanted to pull a prank on that stupid erythrocyte (and also scare her a little, so she wouldn't come there anymore), NK continued with an even more mischievous expression: "Oh no, really. As if I didn't see that." "It's 'cause you're blind!" the T-Killer retorted. "What?!" "And deaf," he added, happy that he could distract her like that, so he didn't need to explain himself. "A bit sassy today, aren't ya?" NK-cell exploded and punched him as hard as she could. "The hell are you hitting me?!" he yelled, swinging his leg at her. And like that, they started one of their classical fights. The T-Killers quickly forgot about AE and started cheering on their leader. AE3803, who had just come to herself, understood that she had to hurry and run, even if her legs didn't want to obey her. She dragged herself to a corner and collapsed without any force left, directly into U-4989's arms, who was on patrol at that moment and had left his route for a while to look for a snack. "Oh no... you're so weak, you poor thing. You need something to eat," the neutrophil announced without taking a no for an answer, and dragged the half dead AE towards a vending machine with sweets. "And one ice cream for me, too. 'Cause it's so unfair that only you red blood cells get free sweets. Maybe I'm working by the sweat of my brows as well, you know..." he grumbled, widening his eyes in such a funny way that AE almost roared with laughter. Platelets were gathering around the machine. There were only a few portions of ice cream left in it, and they absolutely couldn't get them, because the vending machine was broken, and their arms were too short to try to grab them through the opening. AE kindly agreed to help. She bent down, put her arm into the machine and... suddenly realized that she couldn't move it, neither forward nor back. No way! Another couple of tries to liberate her arm just confirmed the fact that she was hopelessly stuck. "Well, no ice cream for today, then," concluded U-4989 in a disappointed tone. * * * "Holy capillaries! You're just a master of getting into trouble!" ranted AE's senpai, accompanying her from the infirmary. The erythrocyte's arm was now bandaged, as it had been impossible to get it out of the vending machine without damage. "Just how do you manage to mess things up again and again, say?" "I'm sorry, I cause nothing but trouble," AE hung her head. "Have you seen that injured basophil in the hospital? They say that someone dropped a box with oxygen tanks on him from a lamp post." The senpai eyed her friend. "And I was wondering: could that maybe have been you? You're the only one able to pull that off..." "It wasn't on purpose!" AE exclaimed. The senpai's jaw dropped. She really didn't expect to be actually right. "Unbelievable," she said, closing her mouth again. * * * A little tired of her recent adventures, AE was dragging herself home, having been sent there by her senpai and the other red blood cells, because, with a bandaged arm, she wasn't of any use at work anyway. As she was passing Dendritic Cell's house, she kept admiring the gorgeous view so much that she almost fell from the rope bridge a couple of times. "Having a bad day?" asked the curious Dendritic Cell, poking his head out of the window. "Yep." "Care for a cup of tea?" he immediately suggested, since he didn't have anything to do anyway and really wanted to hear an interesting story. He served AE a lot of tea and fed her various treats he had received from Miss Macrophage, asking her about everything and oohing and aahing over her stories. "I cause nothing but problems for everyone," AE concluded sadly and let out a deep sigh. "Oh no, don't say that." Dendritic Cell waved his arms. "But it's true." She sighed even deeper and started sniffing. Fearing that she would start to cry, he jumped up from the table and raced off to find some photographs to cheer her up. Soon, he returned with full baskets and began to show her embarrassing pictures he had taken himself. Having looked at a couple of them, AE stopped sighing and sniffing, after five more she livened up, and when a "top secret" image of NK-Cell in a cute dress got into her hands, her mood returned for good, and she wanted to go back to work as fast as she could. Waving her bandaged hand, she thanked him for his concern and... remembered that she "wasn't of any use at work anyway", becoming sad again. Realizing that he should better occupy her with something, Dendritic Cell suggested that she could help him sort out his old folders and photographs, to determine which ones could be thrown out. This didn't seem like a difficult task and could be done using one hand without a problem. But we're talking about AE3803 here! With her innate clumsiness and her gift for attracting disaster... ...her help quickly caused an unbelievable mess in Dendritic Cell's house. He hadn't imagined that something like that was even possible. "Oh well..." he said, looking at the overturned shelves and all the papers on the ground, lying under the toppled over teapot. "Aaah! What have I done?!" AE panicked, getting out from under a pile of folders. "You just accidentally dropped the cupboard..." was everything Dendritic Cell could utter, not really knowing himself how you could do that intentionally. "And some shelves as well, and everything else too..." he added, scratched the back of his head and concluded. "They should've been fixed better." "I'm so clumsy!" AE lamented, trying to pick up the things with one hand. "It's okay," he reassured her, taking his papers from her along the way, before something else could happen to them. "I'll take care of it, don't worry." "No, it's me who should clean up!" she disagreed. "No, no, don't bother..." Dendritic Cell feared for his house, which was quite robust, but might still not withstand AE's help. "I'll clean up myself!" "But I insist, I really can!..." "Please don't, I beg you!" Suddenly, someone knocked on the entrance door, it opened, and Miss Macrophage appeared at the doorstep. "What is this noise?" she wanted to know. "I'm helping Dendritic Cell-san with the housecleaning," AE announced happily. "With the housecleaning?" the macrophage repeated, looking at all the mess. "Oh my..." She clasped her hands and grabbed her cheeks. "Should I help you?" "I would be much obliged," Dendritic Cell gave in and an astute plan on how to get rid of AE occurred to him right away. * * * "And you're really sure I'm not bothering you?" asked AE on the way to Miss Macrophage's café. "No, not at all," the latter answered, smiling. "I adore having guests." To her own harm, the macrophage then suggested teaching AE how to prepare the cherry pie the red blood cell loved so much. Soon, a similar fate to Dendritic Cell's house would await her kitchen. And the question how to remove dough from the ceiling, wouldn't be the hardest one for her then. * * * "You again?" The T-Killer didn't expect AE's return at all, having thought to have given her a good scare. "Oh..." she said and began to back off. "Does that mean you're into me after all?" He started to approach her, deciding to repeat his recent prank, just to be sure she got it. AE trembled slightly and stopped when she felt her back touching the wall. She covered her face with both hands, beginning to sob, as the T-Killer grabbed her by the waist. "Hey, what's the matter?" he asked. Seeing the crying young woman made him somehow feel uneasy. "Hey, that was just a joke. Dontcha understand jokes?" "I'm... I'm so... useless..." AE wailed. "I cause anything but problems! N-Nothing... g-g-good..." "Dammit..." grumbled the killer cell, feeling quite awkward. He just couldn't take these tears! "Why continue living?" continued AE. "You should just kill me already. I'm a good-for-nothing anyway!" "What are you babbling about, you idiot?!" the Squad Leader exploded. "Don't treat your own life so carelessly!" he spat at her, and since that didn't really have an effect on her, also gave her a good shaking and continued, this time in a more comprehensible tone, or so he thought: "Every single day, I'm risking my life, so that dumbasses like you can live! Don't depreciate my work like that, you ingrate! Don't you dare say these things and stop bawling already, if you don't want any trouble with me!" It seemed that it had been a mistake to pronounce the last part, since AE started sobbing even louder. So loud that the T-Helper came out, followed by his assistant, the Regulatory T Cell, and wanted to know what was going on, looking at our Miss Red Blood Cell, who was crying at the Squad Leader's chest. The latter blushed from the awkwardness of the moment and waved his hands, trying to explain that this was not what it looked like. Though he didn't even know what exactly it was looking like himself. "It seems as though someone has a bad day," commented the Regulatory T Cell, pulling AE out of the T-Killer's clingy hands like a real magician. Then she took out a handkerchief, wiped off the erythrocyte's tears and patted her head. "Okay, we'll talk later," said the T-Helper to the Squad Leader. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked AE friendly. "Was this bully mean to you?" He pointed at the T-Killer, who was grinding his teeth. "Nope," AE replied, shaking her head and loudly blowing her nose into the handkerchief lent to her.  Without even exchanging a word, the T cells accompanied AE almost to her home. When she tried to refuse, the T-Helper told her that he had to go buy tea anyway, and the others confirmed that, even knowing that it was a lie. "What a dumbass!" grumbled the T-Killer on the way back. "Everyone has difficult days," commented the Regulatory T Cell peacefully. "Are you really sure that the reason for her tears wasn't you?" inquired the T-Helper mockingly. "A face like yours could scare anyone." "What did ya say?!" "You heard me!" "I'm going to... and I don't give a damn that you're my boss!" The T-Killer was about to punch him. "Oh, I'm sooo afraid," replied the T-Helper with a grin and took a defensive stance. "Boys..." sighed the Regulatory T Cell, grabbed both guys by the ear and dragged them to the headquarters. * * * AE3803 was completely exhausted. Misfortunes and other trouble recently really seemed to fall on her as if from the horn of plenty. Especially after she had almost died from the T-Killer's evil pranks and hurt her hand. Some situations had been honestly traumatic and others very absurd and even downright embarrassing, for example, when her shorts had slid down before everyone's eyes because she hadn't been able to close them properly with only one hand. Or when she got caught on a nail, and her t-shirt ripped apart in a very interesting place. And when a jar of jam had fallen from a cupboard and landed on her head, producing a quite noticeable bump, her coworkers, instead of expressing some empathy, started laughing at her. And to top it off, she managed to forget her jacket somewhere. Going back wasn't a very great idea as it was, and moving against the direction of the blood flow in order to search for it even less. Having been almost trampled to death, AE barely had time to crawl to the side. She did find her jacket, but one of its sleeves was torn off... and while our Miss Red Blood Cell was thinking about her bad luck, someone poured a bucket-full of dirty water over her head. Having decided to not let this get her down, she put on her torn jacket and wanted to resume her path, but suddenly met an adipocyte who was suffering from stomach ache. She tried to help the poor guy by accompanying him to the infirmary, yet he vomited on the way. Directly on her. Of course, she couldn't continue her work like that, so she left him to a macrophage and headed to a washing station at a hot spring.  There, she took off her dirty and torn clothes, somehow cleaned herself in the shower, wrapped her body into a long towel and went to the spring. On this occasion, she submerged her tired feet into the hot water and thought about staying there for a bit longer, she didn't have any urgent deliveries for now anyway. Suddenly, the Basophil appeared at her left side, yes, that one who had accidentally gotten her package on his head. Judging by his appearance, he seemed to be doing better, but his behavior had become even weirder than before: he still kept producing odd philosophic phrases that usually no one but him could understand, but now, he did it in rhymes. He shot a tragical gaze at AE and said: "What bad luck to Have met with you, Like cursed by fate and history.  And now again... I have been damned! A wanderer chased by misery." After that, he stood at the edge of the pool and started to perform elaborate ballet pas, like taken straight from "Swan Lake". His new umbrella was picked up by the stream of hot air, flew away and landed on the platelets who were splashing around near the water. Before doing that, however, it got caught on AE's towel that hadn't been very well tied to begin with... In the next moment, Miss Eosinophil arrived running and led the still confused Basophil away, apologizing. AE got up, the towel slid down, she tripped over it and fell into the water, as nude as the day her mother, the stem cell, had birthed her. Luckily, it wasn't deep in there. Standing waist-deep in the water, AE tried to locate the treacherous towel, but it was gone. Other cells were staring at her from all sides, chuckling. "That's a very juicy view," a familiar voice commented above her ear. "But you should better cover up. Here." AE turned around and found herself face to face with U-4989, who was squatting at the very edge and holding out a dry towel. Noticing her extreme embarrassment, he demonstratively turned away and added jokingly: "I'm not looking, no worries. Don't wanna be killed by my pal U-1146, after all." * * * Small and not so small misfortunes continued to haunt AE3803. There was everything, ranging from torn shoelaces and broken dishes to almost falling into the gastric juice and other dangers that our Miss Red Blood Cell kept getting into with enviable constancy. So when the ground suddenly opened up under her feet and Staphylococcus aureus crawled out of the hole, she wasn't even that surprised anymore. "Déjà vu," she thought resignedly. The neutrophils, who arrived running, also said "déjà vu"and rushed into the battle, once again risking getting beaten up by the brutal colony. AE3803 perceived the familiar: "Red-chan, are you alright?" and "Don't just stand there, run!". So she ran away with full speed, terribly worried about Leukocyte-kun and his friends, but well aware that she would be nothing but a nuisance for them if she stayed. And then, hard work was waiting for her once again, during which she constantly got into trouble, her biggest talent. Now, the exhausted AE was dragging herself along a lymphatic duct. She got too close to the water (which the lymph was mainly consisting of) and looked at her reflection with sadness. Then she sighed, turned around to resume her path, but her foot unexpectedly slipped, making her fall into the duct. Being unable to swim, she started drowning. She floundered desperately, moving her arms and legs, but it was useless: the flow mercilessly dragged her farther and farther away from the land. Realizing that this was the end, a rather absurd way to finish such a meaningless life like hers, AE was already about to come to terms with that, but then something relatively solid appeared right under her. That something also grabbed her legs and slightly raised her above the water. A few seconds later, the stunned AE noticed that she was on the B Lymphocyte's shoulders. He and his friend Memory Cell, who was also nearby, helped her to get out, brought her out of harm's way to her friends and continued their swim. The two of them were swimming on their backs through the lymphatic duct and relaxing. "It's so great here!" said the B Lymphocyte. "The lymph's pushing you out by itself and transporting you. No clue how it's possible to drown in here." "When you're not a lymphocyte and can't swim, it is, I suppose," his coworker replied. "Speaking of that!" he perked up. "We memory cells have a legend about that..." "Oh no!" moaned the B Lymphocyte. "Don't even start..." In the meantime, worried voices could be heard from the land: "AE, you got into trouble again! Just look at how wet you are!" "You almost drowned!" "Are you alright, Senpai?" "Red-chan, are you really sure that everything is okay?" "Yep, everything's good, why are you worrying so much?" "So that means we could go eat some smoked staphylococcus together. What do you think?" "Ew!" "Okay, then ice cream..." The two B cells didn't hear how the conversation continued. They were slowly swimming with the current and gradually calming down. Another hard work day was over, and perhaps all the misfortune as well. At least, this was what they really wanted to hope for.