In Secret

Het
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In Secret

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I cannot help but surrender to that exquisite tingling rising along my shoulders and ending in my neck every time you do this. When I shot you a sideways glance, and you're biting your lower lip, saying that these tiny pieces of dried skin on your lips are bothering you. Every time you do this, I have to control myself, since you are awakening appetites in me that aren't normal. That I couldn't mention, because they would make even the worst perverts blush. And if that kind of torture wasn't enough, it is followed by that look of yours. When you slowly turn around it is as though you would do it on purpose, as though you wished to tempt me to imagine how it would be to look at your back, without you being able to turn. Hold your face by your chin and kiss you while losing myself in you. Yes, you are torturing me. Horribly. And I'm so used to the pain that I don't know anymore whether I'm suffering or enjoying. It's like waiting for a bit of water after a long thirst, where even lukewarm water would feel like a huge godsend that brings happiness. In that case, that torture would have been worth it, I suppose. I continue to watch you from a distance, but you obviously don't have the slightest idea about all the crazy things and fantasies going on in my head, while you cutely move your hair behind your ear. I can almost perceive that delicate smell your hair is emanating and imagine how it would be impregnated into my pillow and mixed with mine. But that would be a problem, a terrible step. Because if you should ever happen to get there, even by accident, I would never let you go. I couldn't, wouldn't be able to take it. It's that you have become a goddess. The owner and master of each and every fantasy that allows me to bear that agony. Would I pray to you? Of course. Have mercy on me, goddess of my dreams. Or forgive me my sins. But to be honest, I wouldn't mind going to hell if you were the sin condemning me. We were walking side to side. Just like we had already done more than once. We had met by coincidence, walked together for a while and then parted again. But this time was different, because your eternal guardian wasn't with you. This time, I had you all for myself. You dropped your drink out of surprise when I grabbed your wrist and pressed you against the wall. You were so baffled that I started hesitating about what I was going to do. But then I could confirm that every fantasy carries a bit of reality in it, of things that are possible. Because when I broke that damn distance between you and me and kissed you greedily, you kissed me back the same way. I knew it. It was possible to see mischief in your adorable eyes. That blush on your face and your accelerated breathing became an image I would wish to go to sleep with every night. But, aaaaah, that damn radar just had to go off now. And the transmitter to sound. "4989, we need you in the sector E84." "Got it, 1146. I'm on my way." For a few seconds I felt that this was karma. Maybe a sign, after all everyone was saying that "AE3803 was 1146's girl". You grabbed me by the collar, looked me into the eyes and murmured: "We'll finish this later". That smile of yours stayed in my head for the entire day. If you only knew in what kind of trouble I got for being distracted because of this. But whatever, it's impossible for me to be angry at you. I can't, I just can't, and even less when I saw you arrive at the place I called you to, to "continue where we had left". I don't know if that was romantic, but it wasn't as if I cared, either. However, that thing with meeting in secret was making me enjoy it even more. I adore the idea of being the only one to know that side of yours. Here, in secret, making fantasies come true.
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