Three Men in a Boat. To Say Nothing of the T-Killer

Surprised by heavy rain. — The saving cabin. — Playing cards. — A heartbreaking song. — Defeating the cold and the humidity. — Rampage. — Our cells as filthy beggars at the temple. — Saying goodbye to the boat. — The decision to rent another boat and to return home. However, the joy of our perked up adventurers didn't last long. Soon, it started raining again, even worse than before. It took them by surprise and played its cruel games with them: instead of ending, it got even heavier and heavier until it was pouring down so hard they could barely see their surroundings anymore. Our adventurous four and everything around them got completely soaked. Their wet clothes hung down like sacks and stuck to their bodies, their shoes were awfully squishing, and their baggage got so heavy it couldn't practically be lifted anymore. They had no other choice than to moor at the coast, unload everything from their boat and flip it over, so it wouldn't get flooded. But to their luck, they spotted an empty fishing cabin nearby. It was terribly humid inside it as well, but still better than any useless attempt to hide from the rain, that was falling like a waterfall, under some self-made shelter. After having closed the hole in the cabin's roof with the piece of canvas they owned and given up on trying to light a fire in the humid fireplace, the cells sat down on the solid, massive table that was standing there and decided to kill time playing cards. During their game, the T-Killer lost three times in a row and got punched by the others as a penalty. He threatened to get back at them by giving them a punch they would remember for the rest of their lives. Hearing that statement, his companions decided to not take any risks, saying that this was too much of a gamble. And apart from that, their mood wasn't exactly the best anyway, so they didn't want to continue the game. While the T-Killer, still thirsty for revenge, was complaining about their cowardice, Dendritic Cell and Memory Cell asked the B Lymphocyte to play something cheery to lift the mood. They didn't need to ask him twice. After having made sure that it wasn't raining on top of him and that the table they were sitting on was dry enough, he took out his guitar and suggested out of the blue to perform a romance instead of his eternal comic songs. The others agreed, and he promptly started: "When I was just a naive lymphocyte..." It was actually a lyrical, rather optimistic song about the wonderfulness of youth and about all the great things that would happen in life. And his melody, by the way, was quite optimistic and cheerful as well, but all that raininess made him produce something so heartbreaking that they ended up sobbing in each other's arms after he had finished singing. Well, except for the T-Killer, who was just thinking about something in silence and automatically punched Dendritic Cell, as the latter tried to press himself against his chest to cry a bit. * * * It kept on raining for a very long time, without a break. Memory Cell said that he didn't remember ever having experienced a rainfall like this. And immediately assumed that he wouldn't survive it, because his entire cytoplasm would catch a chill. The others were having doubts whether this was actually possible, but oh well, Memory Cell should know it better. He was the oldest out of them, after all. When they couldn't bear the cold and humidity anymore, they started thinking about a way to warm up. There were a fireplace and firewood in the cabin, but too humid to be lit. The B Lymphocyte had only one idea: to sacrifice some fuel from the alcohol stove. And he also had some experimental combustible missiles he had brought with him, just in case (and totally forgotten about them). Having ordered the others to take the axe from behind the fireplace and chop the humid logs as finely as possible, he searched among the soaked baggage for the alcohol container and his missiles. Pouring the alcohol over the wood pieces and thinking with some frustration that these missiles could have served him to finish off that huge fish back then, he lit two and threw them into the fireplace... it banged so loudly that a firework shot out of the chimney. There were hissing sounds and the cabin started to fill up with smoke and a caustic burning smell. Then the wood pieces and the humid logs under them finally dried and began to burn. The fireplace started to emanate a pleasant warmth. Our adventurers sat down as close to it as possible and just enjoyed it. And everything would have been wonderful, if another great idea hadn't come to the B Lymphocyte's mind. "To warm up faster," he said. "We could each take a sip from the alcohol. But we should thin it down with some water first, of course," he added, but it was too late: the T-Killer had already grabbed the bottle from him with the words "Why didn't you say so from the start?" and taken a big sip. Then he rolled his eyes, cleared his throat and uttered: "N-N-Not bad!" The others immediately followed his example, not diluting the hellish spirit even with the rainwater. And before they knew it, the bottle had already started doing rounds. A lot of rounds. Enough to not only thoroughly warm the cells up, but also make them absolutely drunk and start fooling around. One of them suggested adding some more firewood to make the place even hotter, and the B Lymphocyte throwing in the remaining missiles, he was too lazy to carry them back, anyway. Everyone thought that it was a fantastic idea, but what happened next, they didn't remember. When they regained consciousness, the rain was gone, they were lying with part of the baggage outside and the cabin had almost burned to the ground. Having gotten up from the dirt, our slightly smoked cellular adventurers picked up their now even fewer belongings and headed to their boat. * * * To clean themselves completely from the mud turned out to be impossible. On the contrary: they got even dirtier on the way. So when they finally reached the temple in the Heart, the cells passing by started giving them alms. The B Lymphocyte quickly assumed that new role, put on his saddest look and stretched out his crumpled cap. When he was asked, what the Basophil he was doing, he explained that he would like to enjoy some delicious treats to make the unfortunate end of their trip at least a bit more pleasant. They really did need the charity money in the end, however not for a gourmet meal, but to be able to rent a boat and return home: as soon as they got into their boat to depart from the temple, the strong local current intensively shook their vehicle once or twice, making it let out a pitiful moan in dying agony and fall apart. This was the result of the badly made repair. But it could also be that the boat had already reached the end of its lifespan, and no repair in the world could have been able to save it in the first place. The four cells somehow managed to reach the coast and get out a few of their things. To be honest, there wasn't much left to be saved anymore, but at least the guitar was safe and sound. All four of them let out a sigh. It looked like it was time to end their adventure for good. The B Lymphocyte slung the guitar on his back, scratched the back of his head and made a suggestion: "Why don't we return home a bit earlier to have time to rest after our vacation?" Memory Cell and the T-Killer absolutely agreed, and Dendritic Cell was also forced to grudgingly admit that it was really enough. The B Lymphocyte reluctantly handed him the honestly earned money, and they went off to rent a boat. * * * The way home was comfortable and pretty fast. Nothing special happened, maybe except for the sudden appearance of the Basophil, sailing by in a boat at their left side. Well, that couldn't be called a special event, either, but the B Lymphocyte nervously hid his guitar as soon as he spotted the latter. But the Basophil just calmly passed them. His boat got shaken by a wave and a shoe sole fell out from the duffle bag on his vehicle's stern. Splashing on the river waves, it said goodbye to the Basophil's boat and swam back home. When the miserable adventurers finally reached their home sector and, being still at the boat station, they luckily or rather unluckily, ran into AE3803, who told them that she had a parcel for them. She took a round package with suspicious fatty stains out of her bag. There was a card attached to it, with the inscription describing it as a small thank you-gift from the staff of the "Cell Hotel" for hanging up the picture. They took the package into their hands and carefully lifted one side of the thick paper. Immediately, they perceived a painfully familiar smell. Indeed, it was that hand-made cheese the employees had tried to foist them (yeah, as revenge for the ruined wall, without any doubt). Dendritic Cell signed the delivery, took the cheese reluctantly under his arm and went off with the others. And so, our heroes, who were satisfied with themselves and their lives, were walking on their familiar streets again. Their humble and not very presentable outfits consisted of the following: pants, t-shirts and vests: dirty, sandals and shoes: very dirty, hats and caps: all crumpled up, their few bags: humid, themselves: incredibly filthy, and Dendritic Cell was also emanating a cheesy fragrance. The B Lymphocyte took off his fallen apart shoes and threw them away, continuing to walk barefoot, Memory Cell was clumsily waddling in his soaked through shoes, and the T-Killer looked so dangerous in Dendritic Cell's self-made designer t-shirt, that every passing by cell shied away from him. And out of the blue, our picturesque company spotted the T-Helper walking towards them. Not that he didn't recognize them immediately, but... he was so baffled by their appearance after the vacation, especially by the T-Killer in that incredibly strange t-shirt, that he forgot what he wanted to say. And while he was looking for the right words, our savvy heroes who had gone through a lot of difficult adventures, quickly shook his hand one by one as a greeting, then the Dendrocyte solemnly handed him the cheese, and they quickly left before the T-Helper could unwrap it. Having agreed to meet in the evening at Dendritic Cell's tree house, they went home, to wash up and have a good rest after such a busy vacation.