The dark side of your heart

At this moment, Lovino was thinking only about escaping and hiding, enveloping himself in darkness and silence, but it wasn't possible for him right now, so he just curled up into a ball on the taxi seat out of desperation and listened to Feliciano's voice through the mobile phone. He knew exactly that Antonio was sitting next to him, but absolutely didn't want to be approached nor touched by him, not even the tiniest contact... because he feared it to be painful, feared that the Spaniard's thoughts could hurt him. Once again, everything was reduced to fear and pain, just as it had been during his entire life. Now he only wished for everything to end, for this agony to disappear. When the taxi stopped and Lovino saw his brother standing at his door and waiting for him, he immediately rushed towards him as if the other was a sort of salvation. Grabbing the younger's hand with force, he ran together with him to his bedroom and slammed the door shut, without noticing Antonio at all. Then the older twin led Feliciano to the bed and placed his brother's warm and comforting hands on his ears, allowing himself to let out a long and pained groan, that was followed by a stream of tears. Squeezing the younger one's fingers until they turned red, he tightly closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears. But it was in vain. "It hurts so much," moaned Lovino, feeling Feliciano's hands pressing themselves against his ears, pretending to isolate him from every sound. "I've had enough of this... I don't want to hear anything anymore," continued the older one with a trembling voice and lying in his bed. Feliciano got closer and pressed his forehead against his brother's, trying to convey him with his thoughts that everything was okay now, that he was there with him... that he was safe in his company. Comforting him with his inner voice, without pronouncing a word, while his scared brother wasn't letting go of his hands, clinging to him in fear. They both hid under the blanket that suddenly turned into a barricade, protecting them from the noise outside, enveloping them in a comfortable darkness. The dried tears on Lovino's cheeks made him look a lot younger, but at least he had managed to calm down a bit. "Feli, do you think that God is punishing me? Perhaps I did something truly horrible in a previous life and am now suffering through the consequences... my soul didn't go to hell, but now my life is hell on earth," said Lovino in a very quiet, almost inaudible tone, fearing his own voice again. "Ve~ don't say that, brother, God isn't vengeful, don't forget what Mom said when we were going to church: God only gives us obstacles that we are able to overcome," answered Feliciano, almost whispering as well, without separating himself even one centimeter from his big brother, who didn't seem satisfied with that reply. "But I'm not that strong... and never was. I just want all of this to end once and for all," said Lovino, frowning a bit when he felt his head throb again, and decided to stay silent, close his eyes again and attempt to sleep, in order to ease the pain at least a bit. A few hours later, Feliciano made sure that his brother was fast asleep and carefully slipped out of bed, covering the older one, who was sleeping in that odd position again with his hands on his ears, with the blanket. The younger twin let out a sigh, asking himself, like he had already done a lot of times before, why only his brother had been born with that curse and how their lives would have been if he, Feliciano, was the one who could hear the thoughts and feelings of others. He always arrived to the same conclusion: if it was him, then he wouldn't have made it until the age of 23 for sure. Feliciano closed well the curtains and tiptoed to the door, leaving the room. He couldn't help but yell out of shock when he saw Antonio dozing on one of the couches, which made the other wake up immediately. "Calm down, it's me, Antonio, Lovino's boyfr-... neighbor. You already know me," the Spaniard quickly explained to the Italian, who was about to run and call the police. "Oh, true," said Feliciano, then carefully examined him and blinked a few times before speaking again. "Sorry, but what are you doing here?", he finally asked, not wanting to seem rude. The other man looked confused, or better said, slightly incredulous when he heard that question. "I arrived together with Lovino and have been here ever since," answered Antonio, realizing that Feliciano hadn't noticed his presence until now. "I see. Okay, then thanks for bringing my brother home, ve~," thanked Feliciano without adding anything else, indicating to Antonio that he could leave. But the Spaniard wanted an explanation first. "How's Lovino?", he asked, approaching Feliciano and looking over the other's shoulder at the bedroom door. The Italian reflexively stood in front of Antonio, not letting him do another step. "Better, he's sleeping right now," answered the younger twin with a silly smile, but Antonio started worrying even more. Didn't he plan to take him to a doctor at all? "Hey, sorry for intruding, but what's actually the matter with Lovino? Does he suffer from some illness and how can I help him when he gets like this?" asked Antonio, hoping to get an answer at least from the brother. Feliciano gave him a strange look. It wasn't the penetrant one he sometimes seemed to share with Lovino, but rather as if he was deeply questioning something. "My brother hasn't told you?" he wanted to know. The Spaniard shook his head. "Hum, that's strange, and I thought you already knew," commented Feliciano, moving his head a bit to the side. "Knew what? What do you mean?" asked the slightly desperate Antonio again. He hated being the only one excluded from what was starting to sound like a complete mystery. "You're more than just a neighbor to my brother, am I right?" inquired Feliciano, showing his childish smile again. Antonio blushed violently. "I know because Lovino has never defended another person who wasn't me before and also not everyone would be able to get him into town... that's why I supposed that he has already told you, you're obviously someone special for him," said the Italian with the almond-colored eyes, still smiling and with causing Antonio's face to get even redder. The Spaniard felt a certain relief after hearing these words, but at the same time, his doubts grew only bigger. "Maybe you're right, but I still don't understand what happens to Lovino and why he doesn't want to tell me anything. You're both the same! Why are you talking in riddles?! What's so terrible you can't let me know?" He became even more desperate and looked at Feliciano, who didn't erase that tranquil smile from his face. "Ve~ It's already dark, and I don't think you want to arrive home very late," changed the younger twin abruptly the topic, looking at the sky through the window. Antonio frowned slightly and was about to protest, but remained calm. "Is this your discreet way of chasing me out?" he commented. "I didn't want to sound rude," admitted Feliciano between awkward giggles. Antonio let out something similar to a snort and turned around to leave, realizing that he won't get out a word from the brother either. He passed the doorstep, but before leaving, he stopped for a moment and looked at Feliciano again. "Maybe I'm only imagining it, but you don't like me, do you?" he asked the other one, who suddenly seemed a bit embarrassed but didn't stop smiling. "It's not that I have anything against you or that I find you unpleasant... I have another reason." And with these words, Feliciano closed the door, leaned his back against it and let out a long exhalation. Of course, he didn't have anything against Antonio, since he was perfectly aware of the fact that the other couldn't be a bad person if Lovino was together with him. Feliciano himself wanted to believe that he was a good person, but still just wasn't able to get rid of the idea in his head that Antonio could hurt his brother with a single, unconscious thought any moment and leave behind a wound that wouldn't heal, adding it to all these the older one already had. The younger twin shook his head and returned to the bedroom, laying down next to his brother again and allowing himself to think freely, knowing that the other was asleep and couldn't hear him. How he wished to switch places with him, so that Lovino could lead a normal life, at least for one day. The night went by relatively calmly. Lovino was recovering from his pain, while Antonio was trying to sleep, but couldn't, instead making that mess of thoughts in his head grow bigger and bigger. The lack of answers turned into frustration, which had already become a horrible mood by the time he had to get up. Antonio, who almost hadn't been able to sleep at all that night, slapped his alarm clock with his hand to make it stop that goddamn beeping. He was already awake, after all. Grumbling, he got in the shower and then went to get dressed, completely ignoring the meowing Tortuga, who was following him, surely because he was hungry. But Antonio was too immersed in his ill mood and his thoughts to even look at the cat, not even as he left the house. The sun was barely rising at this time of day, so the probability to run into Lovino was low, and he really didn't want to see him at the moment, since he was angry and with reason. However, as if life itself was eager to ruin his day even more, he heard the Italian calling him just as he was already heading to the bus stop. Antonio let out a snort and stopped, prepared himself mentally for a couple of seconds and turned around, smiling as it would have been expected. Lovino was almost running towards him, dressed in his pajamas and a sweater to protect himself from the morning cold. "Good morning, Lovino! How are you feeling?" the Spaniard asked with a big smile. The other man abruptly stopped and then continued walking, looking at him with a strange expression, as if he was examining every part of him, and then starting to frown. "Better..." he answered in a piercing tone and with a disapproving look at the smile the Spaniard was carrying. "That's great to hear, sorry for what happened yesterday, I guess it wasn't a good idea after all to have taken you there. I mean, I knew that you didn't want to go and..." "What about you? How are you feeling?" Lovino interrupted him suddenly. The other stopped talking, starting to get used to the Italian doing that, and smiled even bigger and brighter. 《How do you think I'm feeling when it seems that I'm the only idiot, who doesn't know what the hell is the matter with you? You should better ask your "beloved brother", he's the only one you truly care about.》 "I'm alright, of course. Well, to be honest, I couldn't sleep that well last night because I was worrying about you, but now that I see you have gotten better, I feel good as well," he replied, adding a few giggles and then looking at his watch. "Sorry Lovino, I have to go now, or I'll be late for work. Take care and don't look at me like that, I'm alright I tell you," he said, approaching Lovino to give him a short goodbye-kiss on the lips, but the Italian stepped back, staring angrily at him. "No, you're not. That's not true," he pointed out. The Spaniard laughed again as if nothing had happened, able to deceive anyone. "What are you saying? Of course it is, I'm alright." Noticing that Lovino wouldn't let himself be kissed, he gave him a quick one on his cheek and turned around to continue his way. "Don't you dare lie to me, asshole!" yelled, or, better said, roared Lovino, making Antonio do a jump from the scare he got. With his eyes wide open, he turned around, baffled by how sure the Italian was of the fact that he hadn't told him what was really going on, that he was lying. Antonio wondered how he did that, how he was able to decipher him that easily. "Better tell me what the hell's the matter with you!" shouted the frustrated Spaniard back, breaking his act of "everything is alright". "You don't want me to lie to you, but neither tell me anything about yourself, even during your worst moments. Don't be such an egoist, Lovino!" 《Why don't you tell me anything? Why do you exclude me? Why did you have to call your brother yesterday instead of letting me help?! Why didn't you call me?... Why don't you need me?》 "I know that it sounds stupid, and I feel stupid myself for being jealous of your brother, because he's your brother and I suppose it's normal that you two know things about each other, but don't forget that I'm here for you as well. We're a couple! Don't you know what that means?... During all the time I know you, you were always right there, saving me, and I... who am I to you, Lovino? A person you spend your time kissing with and then send home to sleep?" 《Why don't you feel the same for me as I feel for you? Why don't you love me the same as I love you?》 "Of course not. It's nothing personal, it's just that Feliciano knows certain things," tried Lovino to explain, without understanding why Antonio was making such a scene. Did he really consider Lovino being capable of letting any person enter his life, just like he had done with him? What else did he expect from him to see that their feelings were mutual? Why was a single secret able to create such a huge distance between them? "And I'm not allowed to know?" inquired Antonio, still a bit hopeful to reveal that part of Lovino's, who suddenly seemed to back off, despite not moving from his spot, and started to look scared from one moment to the next. "Not yet," he answered simply. Antonio let out a dry, humorless laugh and put on a clearly sad smile, while searching for the right words to say. "You know what, Lovino? Sometimes you give me the impression that you know absolutely everything about people, that looking at them is everything you need to discover every detail about them. But when it comes to yourself, when someone wants to learn even the tiniest thing about you, you just turn away... and to be honest, I don't think that's fair," he concluded, taking another look at his watch. "I have to go." And this time he did, leaving Lovino behind, who was following him with his eyes and almost started to scream. He was angry at the Spaniard for not understanding and also at himself for not letting the latter understand. It wasn't just about opening up and revealing his secrets... there was so much at risk that he didn't even know anymore what was actually ruining everything: the fact that he could hear everything the other was thinking, or the fact that he couldn't tell him anything about it. Letting out another series of grunts and stifled screams, he returned with heavy, almost aggressive steps home and slammed the door shut after having entered, making the windows tremble. The still sleepy Feliciano came out of the bedroom. "What's the matter, brother?" he asked with a drowsy voice. But the older just continued grunting and walked towards the couch, slumping into it. "The matter is that either Antonio is an idiot or me. Or maybe it's just my destiny that whatever even slightly good happening in my life has to go down the drain, surely because God doesn't like me. Tell me, Feliciano: why do people have this dang necessity to know everything about others? Why isn't he satisfied with just being together with me? I don't get it, people are just too strange, and I'm getting tired of it. I always knew that it was best to keep my distance from them. So why was I such a dumbass to get involved with someone else? Is it another divine punishment or am I really that retarded?" complained Lovino, infected by the Spaniard's bad mood, while his patient brother sat down next to him watched him punch the couch pillows, as if he tried to let out his anger doing that. "And the worst thing, Feliciano, is that I perfectly know that all this nonsense can be resolved if I just tell him the truth, but..." The older one fell silent. "But?" the younger one encouraged him to continue. "But I'm almost certain that he'll end up hating me if I tell him. He'll think what a horrible and repulsive person I am," finished Lovino, remembering that one time, when he had insinuated to Antonio that there could be someone possessing the ability to hear others' thoughts. And remembering the Spaniard's answer even more clearly. "That's normal. Don't you think, brother? The sole idea that there could be someone out there, who knows every single thing you're thinking and feeling, is horrible," said Feliciano. Lovino looked at him as if he didn't recognize him anymore. But the younger one kept talking. "We all have a side we don't want to show to anyone, parts of ourselves we are hiding, because we consider them too private or simply too ugly or painful. So just imagine someone suddenly appearing who discovers them all. It's logical to find this horrible at first glance... but I also strongly believe that people are able to accept it and also accept the circumstances of others. People can try to understand you as well, and I also think that it'd be worse if someone could know everything I'm thinking and feeling, but doesn't tell me. Then I would feel as if something was stolen from me. The decision is yours, brother: will you try to believe in other people at least once in your life, or continue to watch how everything's falling apart?" explained Feliciano with an intense look, an unique feature showing that they were twins after all. "Ve~ but if you choose the second option, I wouldn't mind at all, since I could return to being the only man in your life, and you'd forget that guy I don't like!" Feliciano returned to his silly expression and his cheerful voice, about to throw himself into his brother's arms, but received a powerful punch on the head from the latter that made him whine as always. "Don't get all philosophic like that, just to conclude it with this nonsense," Lovino scolded the younger one, who started to laugh as he realized that his brother's mood had improved at least a bit. However, Lovino was now beginning to ponder on other possibilities... the paralyzing idea of trusting someone, just thinking about it made him nauseous from fear. But Feliciano had a point. It was true that he could just keep hiding his secret and resign himself to watch Antonio drift apart from him. As simple as that. "No one told me that it would be that difficult! We should really have contracts listing all the points a relationship's containing, that we have to sign before getting together with someone, as if we would sell our soul to the devil and our sanity to that other person," complained Lovino and snorted, making Feliciano laugh again. "Ve~ even if there were contracts like that, people would still ignore the small print on purpose, because we're so in need of affection," he commented and got up to make breakfast. "And that's why people are so stupid and why I'm avoiding them all my life. They're like lying parasites, attaching themselves to others in order to get full of acceptance and other shit. And now tell me, Feliciano: when, oh when have I managed to turn into something like this as well!?" 《The moment you fell in love.》 Answered Feliciano with his mind from the kitchen, and Lovino wanted nothing more than to bury himself into that couch and never come out again. The rest of the day was following its normal course. Or as normal as it could get for an ill-humored Spaniard and a confused Italian. Both of them realized that a relationship didn't only consist of love, like they show it in the movies and series on TV. Now they had crashed with full speed against a reality, where secrets were able to create a giant abyss, where fear could become your worst enemy and where, naturally, your patience and consideration were put to the test. As the hours passed, Antonio had calmed down a bit and was now starting to think about everything from another perspective. It's true that he had already felt stupid back then for feeling jealous of Lovino's brother, but now he considered himself a complete idiot, after having looked at things again and understood that pressuring Lovino hadn't been the best solution. He just needed to look at himself: he was the guy, who had never been sincere about his real feelings and thoughts, not even once in his life. He himself had led a life full of secrets and lies, in an eternal act on the stage he was calling his routine, a character created by himself out of smiles and a script where the dialogues were nothing more than "I'm alright". So what right did he have to call Lovino an egoist? The longer he was thinking about it, the stronger he wished to disappear from the face of the earth to not cause the Italian any more problems. Instead of understanding his partner, instead of comprehending that the other could have painful secrets as well, he had just preferred to pressure him into talking. Without any tactfulness and being dominated by that part of himself he hated so much, that part that was bordering on a primitive possessiveness. "What am I actually doing?" he asked himself, resting his head against the bus window and remembering everything that had happened that morning, wondering if he still had a chance to make it right. But to his surprise, he did. Having reached his stop, he got out of the bus and walked home with heavy steps, trying to delay his arrival as much as possible, since he was scared of confronting Lovino, who was perhaps already sick of him or something like that... but when he finally reached his home's entrance, he spotted the Italian sitting there, on the step in front of his door. For a few seconds, this made him think about that day when he had returned home from the clinic and found Lovino waiting for him with a scolding and an invitation to sleep at his house. He remembered it perfectly. But now, Lovino wasn't angry despite his furrowed brow. Antonio had learned to tell when the Italian was really in a bad mood, or when it was just his usual expression. The Spaniard approached him, and Lovino almost jumped up when he noticed him. "Antonio, I..." "Forgive me!" he was cut off by the latter, who quickly took Lovino's hands. The Italian didn't seem to understand the reason for that apology. "Forgive me for everything I said to you this morning, I was angry and couldn't think well," said Antonio filled with remorse, squeezing the other man's hands, who was listening to him without interrupting. "I understand if you can't tell me everything about yourself right now, after all, I know how it feels like to not be able to say out loud what's happening. Yes, I know it perfectly, so please forgive me for having pressured you, don't worry about anything, I'll stay with you, even if you can't talk to me about these things yet... I will wait." 《I will wait, until you're sure that I won't betray you. I won't leave you for anything in this world, no matter what you're hiding, I will stay by your side.》 Lovino heard the firm voice from inside the Spaniard and couldn't help but squeeze Antonio's hands powerfully as well. But not because he was touched by these beautiful thoughts... but because the feeling of guilt was devouring him from the inside. For the second time he remembered Feliciano's words... that it was like being robbed, if there was someone who could hear everything you feel. Even if he didn't do it on purpose, Lovino was still basically invading Antonio's privacy without permission. "It's okay. I guess, I acted like an idiot as well," apologized Lovino, without wanting to look into Antonio's eyes, as he heard the latter's happiness for having managed to find a solution. Without wasting any more time, the Spaniard started kissing Lovino's lips. The Italian was startled first, but then calmed down and shyly kissed back. However, Antonio's kisses were never limited to an innocent contact of their mouths, and this one soon got more intense, deeper... They entered the Spaniard's house, still kissing, but it was slightly different this time. It might be that Antonio was doing exactly the same as always when he was kissing Lovino, with other words: sliding his hands over the other's neck and leaving them there for a few minutes, until he had gathered enough confidence to descend to Lovino's hips and wrap his arms around them with force but not enough to hurt him. And also sometimes slightly biting down on Lovino's lower lip, not painfully, but rather touching it for a few seconds with his teeth. However, this occasion was special: while Antonio was doing all that ritual, Lovino could feel the latter's hand being a bit more assertive as usual... and his thoughts were different as well. Expressing how happy he was back then, they now seemed to beg for more... more Lovino. In every way. 《I want to touch him. Don't want to let him go. Want to possess him. Want him to be mine. All, all, all of him only mine, even his secrets.》 Lovino was listening to him repeating all this in his head, while he was shuddering from the contact of Antonio's mouth and, of course, his hands that had finally managed to successfully sneak under Lovino's clothes, making the Italian let out more than one sigh of pleasure. The moment Lovino was pushed against the bed (without having a clue how the hell he had even ended up there) there was such a confusion in his head that he didn't know which thing was the most overwhelming: Antonio's lips and tongue all over his skin, creating a path out of kisses down to his stomach, or rather these thoughts frequently repeating, how bad the other one wanted him. These thoughts and feelings weren't exactly lascivious, instead just revealing Antonio's desire to make Lovino his in every possible way, and the latter was so embarrassed for having to listen to this, but at the same time so paralyzed by the caresses and kisses that he couldn't shove the Spaniard away. 《Don't want to see you with someone else, if I could, I would lock you up right here and never let you leave. I want you to say that you belong only to me. You have no idea how much I love you, Lovino, I want to mark you as mine.》 Following that, the Italian perceived how Antonio's mouth arrived a bit under his navel, making him jump on the bed as he felt the other's hands intending to unbutton his pants. Antonio naturally paused on the spot and looked up to him. Lovino's face was so red that it looked as if his nose would start bleeding any moment. "I can't?" asked Antonio, as if asking for permission to continue, however, despite the innocent tone of his voice, his eyes showed clearly that he had no intention of stopping. 《I want to touch you. Want to feel you. Want to be with you. I love you. I love you. I love you.》 Lovino shuddered again and looked around before letting the other continue, once again trapped by all these suffocating feelings, thoughts and sensations at once, which were capable of taking his last breath any moment. If a kiss represented already a completely new experience for him, then being touched like that was on an entirely another level of discoveries: the way his throat immediately responded to a caress, even though he tried to suppress the sound, the way his body's temperature could rise in a question of seconds when a certain place was stimulated, and they way how strokes along his back could make him react. Lovino had no idea that it was possible to feel all of that at the same time and neither that a person was able to desire another one that much, expressing this solely through long, passionate kisses and the contact of their both's skin. For a moment, he felt highly frustrated about the fact that Antonio couldn't hear his thoughts, since he felt that reciprocating the caresses and kisses just wasn't enough to make the Spaniard understand that he loved him in the same way as well. So he didn't have any other choice than to put in all of his efforts to demonstrate it to him using his own body. During a few seconds, he felt weird, then it was a bit painful, but in the end everything turned into a hot pleasure that was rising until reaching his diaphragm. Antonio buried his face into the hollow of the Italian's neck, who was feeling the heat of the Spaniard's cheeks together with his panting and these feelings that were exploding in his head, reminding him of the fact how much the other loved him. Lovino couldn't control his voice anymore, clang to the Spaniard's back, scratching it, bit down hard on his partner's shoulder and wrapped his legs around Antonio's hips, as if he feared that the other would vanish into thin air or just end up disappearing. Lovino wanted to have him there, in that bed, and to listen to him all the time: for the first time in his life he was scared of silence. "I can't move," complained Lovino, lying in bed with Antonio next to him, who was leaving short, little kisses on his bare shoulder, going up to his neck. "It's okay, you can sleep here. Tomorrow's weekend and I don't have to work," the Spaniard invited him, taking advantage of the Italian's physical weakness to fill him up with kisses and affection, though the other one attempted to escape. Suddenly they heard a familiar meow and Tortuga came to Lovino's rescue, jumping on the bed and intending to interrupt their sweet private moment by walking up to them and cynically lying down between them. "Hey Tortuga, leave, you're disturbing us," Antonio scolded the cat and tried to get him to jump off the bed. "Stop that, the cat stays here," objected Lovino this time and ran his hand over the animal's back, who was just enjoying it and licking his slender paws. "Sometimes I have the feeling that you love the cat more than me," said Antonio, lying down on his stomach and pouting. "And you're not wrong," replied Lovino with a mean little grin, looking at Antonio's scared face. The Spaniard slightly sat up to attack the Italian with kisses on his mouth, without caring that he crushed Tortuga a bit in the process. "You're so cruel, Lovino! Now not only your brother's my rival, but the cat too! Well, then I have to give my best so that you choose me," he said, stealing another kiss from Lovino, a longer one this time. Suddenly they heard an annoyed meow, while the cat was trying to get out from under Antonio, who returned to his spot and smiled at his pet. "Sorry, Tortuga, but you won't get Lovino that easily," he said and kissed the cat on the head as well. The animal didn't seem to care, just continuing to clean his fur, while his owner was stroking him behind his ears. "When Emma brought him to me, she said that he's a special cat, and I think she's right. Do you also have the feeling that this little one listens closely when you speak to him?" asked Antonio, surprising Lovino a bit, who had always thought that he was the only one with that impression. "Cats are very mysterious beings... Do you remember the myth that they have nine lives? Sometimes I wonder if Tortuga has lived more than once, if he has sacrificed one of his lives for someone else's sake, to fulfill their biggest wish. If I were a cat, I think I would give all my lives to you," said the Spaniard, causing Lovino's cheeks and ears to go red. "Stop babbling that nonsense. And besides, the only one who knows my real wish here is Tortuga, not you," said Lovino, picking up the cat in a possessive manner. Tortuga didn't object at all, even though his real owner became sad again. "I want to know them too, your wish and your secrets... and I'm sure that you'll tell me one day," answered the Spaniard, approaching Lovino and rested his head on the other's stomach. The Italian stared at him for various seconds, still holding the cat in his arms. "If I told you my biggest secret... would you be capable of hating me?" inquired Lovino. Antonio was confused for a moment and then showed him one of his rare, entirely sincere smiles. "I don't think it will be something that bad. Whatever it is, I could never hate you." And with these words, Antonio raised his hand and placed it on the back of Lovino's neck, to make him bend down a bit, so he could kiss him one more time. Once again, Lovino was feeling guilty and decided that it was finally time to tell the truth.